I want to own you.

I want to draw you into my world. A world where my rules are the only rules that matter. When I first set eyes on you I make it my business to ascertain your suitability for ownership. You might only be owned in the sense of being a tertiary source which I interact with the once, but in that moment, I own you and I own the fuel that flows from you.

I wish to brand you as my property. My appliance. My plaything. I own you and this means that nobody else does. I have exclusive rights.

I may designate you the role of secondary source, should you make the grade and you become mine, subject to the unwritten contract that governs you and I. You are to be loyal, obedient, compliant and a provider of fuel.

If you are to be my primary source, that coveted position of supplier-in-chief of the most precious and desired fuel then you also must be owned. You must be subjected to my total and hegemonic control. Once I decide that you are the one, I will not stop. Once that light has turned green, once the first tantalising drops of your fuel have begun to be sucked up by me, there is no hope for anything else.

You must be mine. I must own you.

You at first think that I look on you with love-lorn eyes. Indeed I do as I turn my precious orbs into the mirrors which give you what you want to see. Behind their silvery gaze, my machined machinations are forming. I am absorbing how you smile, how your wrinkle your nose, how you play with your hair on the left hand side of your head, never the right. I listen to the way you say ‘scone’ – do you say it so it rhyme with tone or with gone? Every word that will come from your mouth will belong to me. I want to know everything about you. Every facet of your life must now belong to me. When my hand touches you and you feel that jolt of electricity between you, that is my connection with you as I begin to download your life.

It is true that I have already screened you, probed your life from a distance, made enquiries and observed before launching my take-over bid. I have done my homework but now I want to dominate, conquer and subsume. I must envelop you in my world for then I can be sure that you will respond as I require. Loyal, reliable and functional.

Steadily I drain your identity from you, consuming it for my own use. This is part of the process of owning you. I know no boundaries, I see no limits, I recognise no restraint. I have decided that you are to belong to me and thus this is what must happen with the steady and incremental accumulation of what you are. I am plugged into you, the ultimate parasite which sucks the life from you. Your money becomes my money, your house becomes my house, your friends become my appliances. There is no real me. There is no substance and thus I must steal what you are in order to give the appearance of substance.

The only way I understand to do this is to own you. Make you part of the fabricated world that I have woven. This dazzling fiction fools so readily and as I part the curtain and beckon you in to my wonder land, you accept and once inside you become mine. The real world is left behind. The real world of rules, standards, procedures and fairness is no longer applicable to you. I own you now and as a consequence you are subject to my capricious nature, the arbitrary application of my diktats and pronouncements. None of it will make any sense to you when you start to realise what is happening but it will be too late by then. Your assimilation into me will be so far gone that you may just well scream and the only voice you will hear will be mine.

My ownership means I tell you who to speak to and who to ignore. My ownership means that dress is wrong and that one is right until it is the other way around. Yesterday is tomorrow which becomes today. You think Josef K endured the Kafkaesque nightmare of nothing making sense? You ain’t seen nothing yet.

I must control everything. My space, time and the environment around you. This is why to you I seem to operate as if I have no concept of time, but that is because I do not operate to Greenwich Mean Time but rather Being Mean Time. I compartmentalise, shifting between worlds which must never connect, where the players and actors inside of them move to my direction. They dance to the tune that my invisible pipe plays. I must not leave anything to chance. I do not like chance. It is the ruin of me. I want predictable and eventually you will come to realise that there are few who are as predictable as my kind. We bring excitement, we bring chaos, we bring drama but it is all so predictable. The same manipulations, just variations on a theme. Some of us have more string to our dark cupid’s bow, but the poisoned arrows we fire all have the same effects. Control and fuel.

It is only by ensuring that we own you that we can be assured and convinced that you will do as we want you to, that you will not be disloyal or a traitor to us. We must plug you in to us and like some giant leech suck the very essence from you, taking your fuel, your confidence, your self-worth, your self-esteem and stripping you of them to ensure there is compliance and obedience.

I want to own so that I know I will win. I want to own you so I can exist.

I want to own you so that everything you do is as consequence of my decisions and my actions which ensure you provide me with my lifeblood whenever I demand it. You are on call and on demand, my primary source of salvation, the reason for my existence and I dare not allow the slightest chink of autonomy for fear of losing that control.

I want to own you to underline my superiority. I want to own you to remind myself that I am powerful. I want to own you so that it is repeatedly highlighted that I am the controller.

I want to own you to stop being the slave that I am.

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35 thoughts on “Own

  1. karmicoverload says:

    I did it. I blocked Narcy again this morning, I want out for good. This time I didn’t forget email. Now I’m scared. As you all know, he lives right next door. I am really worried about potential repercussions from this, and how to deal with any interactions (Or lack of them!) in person.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Consult, issue addressed.

      1. karmicoverload says:

        Looking forward to our consult on Thursday, H.G!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I am looking forward to resolving the issue for you.

    2. NarcAngel says:


      Who better to get you through it than a narc greater than yours? Consult with HG.

    3. Alexissmith2016 says:

      Karmi, please don’t worry. HG will have the answers for you. You’re done well and we’re all here for you.

  2. Jessica says:

    Before i knew my narcissist was a narcissist.
    My narcissist wanted to marry me, his family were against it because I wasn’t his mothers chosen one, so he was going against the family to marry me. However when it came to the crunch he was not willing to have a civil marriage only a religious marriage. I refused and insisted a civil marriage before the religious and he insisted A civil marriage after I was committed. I told him to move on, as I was not happy with taking that risk of having no legal rights. (He didn’t want his wife to be able to take 50% if a divorce happened in the future). I feel he wanted to have the option to do as he pleases in the marriage and have no consequences. Now I wonder was i even the primary supply since he easily walked away and I didn’t chase him either. I let it be. My reason for a civil marriage was to protect me if his family pressured him into leaving me after, or for any other reason. I just wondered did he have another primary supply lined up to be able to move on?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I have several observations about what you have written Jessica and need more information from you, I recommend you organise a consultation so I can assist you in detail.

      1. Jessica says:

        HG, do you think he will try and hoover me as its only recently happened. I’m not devastated. We were together for 3 years and we did have ups and downs and it started off with his mother not approving of me without a reason. As shes super controlling. It seemed he wanted me to commit but not Fully commit himself so he can leave the back door open for himself. Tbh recently he wasn’t constantly in contact like before, he used to call (long distance) but not as often as before a devaluation ever happened. I think i was devalued Months before and i got fed up and left and we then got back together and he was willing to marry me against his families approval (cultural crap). But soon as everything started moving and he was making up things to prevent civil marriage from taking place. Just a religious marriage. I told him to move on as it all seemed shady. He was very angry At me and trying to manipulate me about how i am selfish but i saw through the BS and didn’t even bother responding.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          There is always a risk of a hoover, Jessica. To understand who great or small that risk is, I need more information from you and to impart more information to you and the appropriate way to do that is through a consultation.

    2. Kiki says:

      Hi just wondering isn’t a civil marriage the law to be technically married .
      A religious marriage only doesn’t stand as lawfully married so you still would be technically not married if you just had that .

      1. Jessica says:

        In the eyes of the law a religious marriage would not be recognised. Unfortunately many Women of the same faith accept this proposal, sometimes it actually works out and at some point they have a civil ceremony. But with all the issues we had before hand his parents not being supportive and causing drama, i felt it was necessary incase they pressured him in the future to leave me. As he is close to them. And also so that if there was ups and downs in the relationship we both would work on things to improve the relationship So it Isnt just one sided. He is not rich, he had future business plans and was very protective over someone trying to take what he has worked hard for. Be wanted me to commit to him whilst he kept the back door open for himself. He said he felt weird about Civil marriage. But yes in English law only civil marriage is recognised. So i had refused To marry as it made me afraid of why he is refusing. Although he didn’t out right refused he was making excuses about using the registry date to celebrate and have it as a function to invite his friends when before he didn’t care about inviting them ( it was an excuse to marry me religiously and then id be committed and he wouldn’t have to go ahead with civil marriage and id be stucK) I didn’t beg or show any emotions when i told him move on. Because i could see through his lie. He wasn’t going to commit but make me commit as i Value relationships And religion.

  3. Summergirl says:

    Hello there, I’m new here.
    He also wanted to own me. I though I’m free because he never hoovered , 4 months now. And I think he won’t, his ego is huge.
    I broke NC, I went to the bar where he was just to test myself, he left 5 minutes after me, in my direction. HG can I consider this an attempt to hoover or not?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Welcome Summergirl,

      1. You fell prey to emotional thinking and breached no contact.
      2. 4 months is not long. You’re always at risk of a Hoover. To think otherwise is ET.
      3. No, he did not hoover you.

      1. Summergirl says:

        Thank you HG!
        3. But why would he do that then?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Why would he leave the bar/restaurant? I guess because he had finished eating and drinking.

          You say he headed in your direction, but what if there was only one route out of where the bar/restaurant was, he would have no choice but to go the same way as you.

          He did not approach you. He did not talk to you. He ignored you. You were not hoovered.

        2. Ren says:

          Hey Summergirl and welcome.

          Yeah, four months is no time at all. If its any consolation, I did something similiar myself 2 1/2 years ago.

          I was not hoovered.

          If you.place yourself deliberately in one of the spheres, and subject to the HEC, you WILL be Hoovered UNLESS he has disengaged. It sounds like he has.

          This is a good thing.

          I made some whooping errors at that time because of ET. I made an incorrect assumption and fundementally flawed logic fail. Funnily enough, it’s only fairly recently that I worked why I was wrong.

          That was a shocker. Turns out my spidy sense was right, I was being hoovered. But not by him but by another. Dont forget the love bomb is also a Hoover.

          For my story, there are countless on here. We’ve all been there.

          In the case of the first narc, I do not percieve he has ever hoovered me but the possibility remains. Unlikely though because of change of address, phone, I dont hang out in those areas any more. No common friends. Trick is setting the Hoover bar so high, he couldnt even if he wanted to. And more importantly, I have no desire to go back.

          Keep reading. You are going to be ok.

    2. Kiki says:

      Awwh honey , we all go through that , almost hoping for a Hoover .
      There is an article here called where’s my hoover.
      Look wether this guy is a narc or not I have no idea.
      four months NC depending on the relationship is not long but I’ve found my own experience that the narc will test the waters intermittently , if it’s just for a chance to throw you back in the mud again.
      Have you him blocked ?
      He did not acknowledge you at all , he sounds like a very immature jerk.
      Stay strong

      1. Je says:

        Thank you HG, Ren and Kiki!

        I should explain better, but my English is bad, so I apologize and I hope you will understand what I want to say.

        He’s married and we were seeing each other for 15 months. Was not my intention to be with him but he loved bomb so hard. He knew what I wanted to hear, in that moment i was going thru divorce from my first narc, totally different kind.
        I was never discarded by him ( second N) but I couldn’t do it anymore. And I wrote that to him, he would always ignore and just continue with messages about something else.
        He was too possessive and tried to control me, with his silent treatments, gaslighting. He hit my couch when I said I stayed out till 6am. He asked why twice I was just smiling and didn’t answer.
        I did love him so much, but I go to the clubs Saturdays, hanging with my friends, meeting new people and wouldn’t stop that for anyone. He found himself offended with that, and back then when I still didn’t understand that kind of behaviour, I though wtf he is at home with his family and expect me to to stay at home? Really? Why?
        Not to mention that from daily meetings we went to once a month.

        But I stayed bcs chemistry was amazing. But at the I found it boring, not sex, but everything else. He goes silent, I don’t chase(at first I did) then he texts me after few days.. And then repeat.. He was like I have to be honored and happy with his crumbs. Strung me along
        Then I left, which was so hard for me but I knew I have to due to my own sanity. But I didn’t block him.

        Why I had to go to that bar? Bcs I wanted to see, how would seeing him will affect me. I don’t want to be hoovered. And I do, at the same time.
        I knew he can’t approach me, he was with his friends and I with mine. He can’t do that in public.
        Why I though he tried to speak, bcs he never left his coffee after 15 ,20 min, and also he knows I always walking home (but I accidentally stayed in taxi on the side with my friend) and he lives in opposite direction.
        But OK, I know now that is not hoover.
        There’s so much to tell,and I’m still so confused about what the hell happened.
        I know I have so much to learn but im scared that only one his message would ruin everything I archived so far.
        Thank you all🙂
        (and sorry for long and bad grammar text🙈)

      2. Summergirl says:

        Thank you HG, Ren & Kiki

        I should explain it better. He’s married and we were seeing each other for about 14 months. Never my intention to be with him but.. Love bombing and so..
        (I just divorced my first narc at that time.) He knew what to tell and how to act.
        He never discarded me, but I knew I have to leave due to my own sanity. I tried to leave him but he would just ignore and continue to message me about something else.
        Ignoring, silent treatment, gaslighting..
        If he didn’t act like that I would still be with him now. It’s not like I wanted him to divorce or something. I was OK with what we have, bcs I have kids, work almost whole day and no time for relationships plus not ready after divorce for something serious.
        He was doing whatever he wants, trying to make me jealous but not same rules for me. And I really loved him.
        But I love to go to the clubs on Saturdays, enjoying with my friends meeting new people. He found himsef offended wit that. Back then I didn’t understand that and wondering is he serious, like he’s at home with his family and expect me to stay home?? Why, wtf? I would never do that. For nobody.
        Then silent treatment goes, later I would just ignore him then he texts after few days. Then repeat again and again.
        I was drained and tired all the time.

        He said to me “you’re mine” but I didn’t know he was serious.

        Why did I go to that bar that day? I just wanted to see what my reaction would be if I see him. I knew he can’t reach bcs he was there with his friends and I with mine. He couldn’t do that in public.
        And he never left coffee after 15,20 min, he knows I always walk home but I accidentally stayed with friend in the car on the side. He lives in opposite direction. That’s why I thought he wanted to talk to me.

        No, Kiki, I did not block and yes he’s very immature, proud, egocentric.

        I’m still confused with everything but I’m better now. I don’t want him back. But I’m scared if I meet him, then what?

        Sorry for long text and my bad English 🙈

  4. duchessbea says:

    Incredible stuff HG. The Narcissist will always remain the enigma. Irrespective. But thanks to your articles we at least gain knowledge and an understanding of your kind to a degree that we know what we are dealing with and knowing what is behind the mask. With the greatest of respect and no offence intended, just how far one can travel behind the mask seems a frightening prospect to truly find out and discover in complete and utter depth. You are a gentleman HG for the advice and time you give to us Empaths and Neurotypicals. Becoming aware and finding out all we can and gaining a greater depth of knowledge is the best gift we give ourselves.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      By accessing the right knowledge AND applying it, you will achieve freedom.

      1. duchessbea says:

        Very true. Thank you HG. Also will continue with no contact. Very importantly, will continue reading your articles to continue gaining as much knowledge.

  5. Empath007 says:

    HG, regarding Kayne west… is it possible a narc could also have another condition like bi polar disorder ? Or is the narcissim always isolated ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It is possible, but this is not about him being bi polar, he is a narcissist.

      1. Eternity says:

        HG, and that wife of his Kim is one too I think? Isnt this a perfect example of when Narcissists collide?.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          She is one.

          1. Violetta says:

            God knows momager Kris is one. I don’t know if all her kids are, but she did her level best to see that they would.

          2. NarcAngel says:

            That family has Narc “infestation” written all over it. And they’re not finished breeding.

          3. HG Tudor says:


    2. lickemtomorrow says:

      Pretty sure wife Kim has confirmed he is bi-polar just recently in order to explain his ranting at a recent event where he was campaigning for the Presidency. If he’s not delusional I don’t know who is! I also get the sense he may have been a ‘golden child’ which probably fed into his narcissism. Has anyone looked at the Kardashian family for narcissism. Mum, Chris, comes across quite empathic at times but who knows when the facade needs to be in place at all times as part of their reality TV franchise?

      Might be another one to add to my list for HG to confirm.

      1. Violetta says:


        Kris is totally narcy. Word is, she was off-camera directing that video with Ray -J.

      2. karmicoverload says:

        “I want predictable and eventually you will come to realise that there are few who are as predictable as my kind. We bring excitement, we bring chaos, we bring drama but it is all so predictable. The same manipulations, just variations on a theme.” This is one of the most accurate quotes I have ever read. Bang on, once again, H.G.

  6. lickemtomorrow says:

    “I want to own you to stop being the slave that I am.”

    “I want to be owned so I know that I exist” (the co-dependent)

  7. Eternity says:

    Wow, I didnt think that the Narcissist really felt this way of actually owing a person to this degree. Do they even own the air we breathe?

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