I heard a song the other day, not one that was used by you to lie and seduce me of course, since I’ve already been horribly discarded, but nonetheless you came to mind. You are on my mind often obviously . I think of how you think you’ve won (no contact can be fun!) and I smile, but I digress… the song you ask? It is called “My Tears Ricochet” by Taylor Swift. I know how you use to love to use my feelings and interpretations of her songs to make it seem like we mirrored each other.
You and I both know that I have everything I need within my little hands to destroy you. I wonder if that is why you have used your dead father’s social media to look at my pictures? Are you wondering if I will try to ruin you out of revenge? According to this blog I’m reading you wouldn’t ever bother with me during the new golden period. Considering the dates that would put your official relationship in the infantile stage of 1 whole month! Gosh our golden period lasted a year, that was back when you used to brag to your family how I was the only woman to ever hold you accountable? Surely you remember.. I guess expecting you to actually follow through was always a bit above you.
I’ve seen your new girlfriends social media. She is smiling and you are next to her, arms touching. Truthfully I had to look at it twice before I recognized you. I have to say, you looked the least homely as the version of you when you were with me. I like to believe I’m not petty, but anyone with eyes could see I’m blatantly more aesthetically pleasing.. in layman’s terms for you. She’s a beast! Of course everyone knew you were not in my league.. in fact you said so yourself many times.
Sure I’m blocked but you know what they say and all, ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer?’ That’s exactly what I am doing… don’t flatter yourself or delude yourself into believing I could ever see you for anything other than who you truly are. Oddly enough it was the discard that not only woke me out of my fog but showed me what I need to do on my own path to healing.
I hope you’re ready for me to rock your world, I mean isn’t that what you said I did? Granted this time around won’t be as fun; for either of us truth be told. Unlike you it hurts me to cause discomfort and discord in a persons life, especially one that I loved. Yes I see that you’ve noted the tense of the word. I know how you tried to use the very same word when you were trying to manipulate me with your brand of crazy. Empty words from a sad pathetic empty shell of a man.
You told me once that if I believed that you were this person-then I should do something about it -to hold you accountable. In the beginning you equated me to a wild fire and you the smoke jumper. You think you’ve left a pile of ash who will always be looking for your spark to restart me. I know the burns I inflict on you will wound your ego in so many ways. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hope that you would grow from all that is in motion, but logically I know you are incapable of seeing yourself for who you truly are. You have always been too busy playing the victim though haven’t you? Always someone else’s fault. You had me believing in your truth. Just as I’m sure the new linebacker lady is as well. I shouldn’t blame her really, her pointed posts about you loving her over me are almost comical really.. and really she has known you all of what.. 4 months now? Oh baby boy you don’t think I’m stupid do you? I suspected there was a reason you suddenly became obsessed with ‘talking to your cousin’. You see you and I both know the only reason you were ever able to fool me in the first place was because you gained my trust 2.5 years before I became your primary victim.
My my how you underestimated me.. what’s left is that my only wish is that I could be there to see your face when my tears ricochet…
-Love-you know because I am the embodiment of the word? aka B