The Narcissist and Feelings

 

THE-NARCISSIST-AND-FEELINGS

Feelings are an unnecessary burden and thankfully I have been relieved of many of them, being left only with those which are deemed necessary to enable me to pursue the harvesting of fuel. Feelings blur and weaken. How many times have you heard your alarm go off in the morning and you have rolled over feeling like you do not want to get up? Many times I should imagine. That feeling of apprehension about what the day holds for you, despondency at what has happened to you and dread about what you have to do weakens you and holds you back.

You spend much of your life in the pursuit of this notion of happiness but are you ever truly happy? Do you look at what you have and wish you had more? Do you look at other people around you and imagine how happy they must be and you wish that you were more like them? All you achieve is bitterness. Perhaps you do feel happy but as the empath that you are you see those who you regard as less happy than you and you wish that they could be more like you.

All you achieve is vanity. You spend so much of your time seeking to be happy and then you worry about whether it is fleeting in nature. You express concern that you just want to be happy and spend more and more time trying to achieve this state of nirvana. You suffer from feeling sadness which leads to paralysis and indecision. You feel frustrated which sucks up your energy and leaves you feeling spent. You take pride in your ability to feel and to be able to feel on behalf of others yet all you are doing is allowing yourself to be burdened.

Why bother pursuing those feelings which are regarded as positive, such as joy, happiness and elation? Is the effort truly worth it when you get there only for it to be a fleeting moment which then casts you into despondency? What was the point of that? Why allow yourself to be mired in upset, misery and dejection? You achieve nothing as you slowly sink into a quagmire of such negativity. Your feelings deceive you, press down on you and above all else allow us to manipulate you. It is because you feel this array of emotions that you provide us with emotional reactions. Of course you know that these emotional reactions create my fuel. Your feelings are to blame.

I never acquired these feelings. This is because the pursuit of fuel cannot be distracted by these cumbersome emotions. They serve no purpose and thus were never developed. I am built for the acquisition of fuel and nothing else. I am an efficient design, single-minded and driven. All excess baggage was not jettisoned, it was never stowed on board to begin with. I am not wholly without feelings. I have been developed in a way to allow certain feelings, those that aid my purpose, to come to the fore.

I feel fury which ensures that I can exert control over other people and thus extract fuel from them. I feel envy which drives me on to strip away those traits from other people which I need to create my construct. If I felt no envy, I would not want these characteristics – thus this feeling serves a purpose. There is no superfluous feeling connected with me. I feel jealousy which again causes me to strive to better that person by lauding my own achievements and prompting a reaction which garners positive fuel or by berating the person of whom I am jealous and thus I harvest negative fuel.

I feel hatred. This allows me to see everything as it truly is. Hatred hones and brings into sharp focus the reality of this cruel world and thus I am better able to navigate my way through it. Hatred is visceral, it is not fluffy or amorphous. It does not cloud or blur. It is direct, straight to the point and electrifying in its capacity to allow me to always go forward.

All of these feelings and ones of a similar nature have been fashioned around me to assist me in my quest for fuel. Each one discharges a method of enabling me to gather fuel so that I can feel the ultimate emotion.

My pursuit of fuel is predicated on the use of these various emotions with the sole purpose of allowing me to feel that emotion which I prize above all others.

I feel powerful.

I am powerful.

10 thoughts on “The Narcissist and Feelings

  1. lickemtomorrow says:

    I feel a bit sorry for myself in reading this. It certainly does lead to feeling ‘burdened’ at times. But the lows are countered by highs and a nice steady stream in between. While it’s not all positive, it’s not all negative either.

    Narcissists are comprised of negative emotions only. And put on a positive face for the purposes of the facade.

    It’s quite disturbing to think that the good we see is not the reality.

    You’re like a furnace. The empaths emotions are the fuel to fire all that negativity enabling you to feel powerful.

    Take away the emotion/fuel and the flames will reduce leaving the furnace to go cold. And the narcissist’s power to abate. This is a frightening prospect for the narcissist. Nothing to drive him/her and left to stare into the abyss.

    1. lisk says:

      The furnace analogy works only up to a point. However, it will never stay cold for long.

      There will *always* be more fuel around the corner, I.e., there’s an empath born every minute.

      1. NarcAngel says:

        That was my thought as well Lisk. No short supply.

      2. lickemtomorrow says:

        So true, Lisk. Thank you for pointing that out. The narcissist’s furnace will never go cold until it goes cold for good.

  2. Asp Emp says:

    When I first came across KTN and in reading, I was shocked to learn that those with narcissism rarely, or don’t have at all – the feelings of joy, happiness, love etc and that it was all a facade. It saddened me. A great deal.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It is a veneer, not a facade.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Apologies for the error.

  3. December Infinity says:

    So all the negative emotions are the ones the narcissist chooses to utilize in order to achieve what he wants in the ultimate quest to control other people.

    1. Leela says:

      Narcs don´t have other emotions. No joy, no guilt, no remorse, no happiness, no love, no grief, no heartache, no sexual attraction (they get aroused by power, control and nerve stimulation!), no empathy. Their genuine emotions are envy, hatred, control, power, jelousy and such stuff. All other emotions are only faked.

  4. Leela says:

    Sorry to read that, H.G. I feel sorry for your kind. 🙁

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