Minions of Darkness : The Narcissist´s Use of Lieutenants



We never act alone. All through your entanglement with us we will utilise the services and dedication of those who are loyal to us. Before we have even spoken to you we will be compiling a dossier of information about you by contacting those who know you. We will utilise our lieutenants to approach you and gather intelligence which will all be passed back to us for the purpose of analysis and subsequent application.

Once our seduction of you has begun you will be taken in by my butterflies. The butterflies are those who do my bidding and they always do, who always appear and please you. Like a beautiful butterfly he or she will flutter around you, making you smile with his or her pleasantries, charm and general goodness. Like a butterfly with striking colours and that delicate movement they have been sent to enchant you on my behalf and alongside my own endeavours.

My butterflies will only ever say pleasant things to you, repeating and consolidating the charming words which I have sent your way. They will flutter around you complimenting the things that you dp, how you look and who you are. They will remark what a wonderful couple we are together and how they can see it lasting forever. Primed with all the speeches, sentences and rhetoric that we use, these butterflies will remind you of all our magnificent attributes and thus reinforce how fortunate you are to be with someone like us.

They will point out how happy you are and confirm that you make us happy too, far happier than that other harpy that came before you. You must watch out for her by the way, she is a trouble maker and will want to split you and us up. These butterflies will primarily be friends of ours but over time we will want to recruit your own friends and family to be our butterflies as well.

Not only is such a recruitment a massive boost to our egos, it also means that there will be added credibility when they fly around you issuing their compliments about us both. When you are told time and time again how wonderful you are, how sensational we are and how magnificent we are together, any doubts that you may have had, any degree of modesty about such over compliments will soon melt away as the array of fluttering butterflies transfixes you.

Real butterflies only live for somewhere between one and five weeks and like their real-life counterparts my butterflies have a limited shelf life as well. This of course is down to you because as usual you always end up spoiling everything. If you maintained my interest and ensured that the high-grade, positive fuel you have supplied for the last year or so was maintained then my butterflies would have continued but your fuel diminishes, it turns stale and is not at the required level we demand. Accordingly, the selfishness you exhibit in behaving in this manner causes those beautiful and mesmerising butterflies to fade away. Your lack of loyalty and treachery means that these beautiful creatures become replaced by my crows.

Noisy, dark and petulant my crows will descend on you as I commence my devaluation of you. Remember you have brought this on yourself so you cannot expect any sympathy from my dark minions who have been recruited, brainwashed and controlled in order to further my own malevolent ambitions. My crows act at my command as they, like you, relish any opportunity to gain my favour and attention.

Like some medieval king I will grant them access to me and allowing the crow to bask in my radiant brilliance secures their loyalty. Like the butterflies my crows come from my ranks of friends and family but once again I shall seek to corrupt those from your support networks so that they might first appear as a butterfly before transforming into a squawking and mocking crow. It is even the case that some of my cast-offs, desperate to remain around me and be subjected to my wonderful largesse are recruited as my minions.

Thinking that they will win my favour and more importantly keep you from it, they readily agree to carry out my will. Some of my minions do not realise that they have been manipulated into doing what I want. Instead they carry out my instructions in an oblivious fashion. Others are well aware that they act as my agents of destruction but they revel in this role. Their loyalty is without question. I have flattered and charmed them as I did with you. They recognise you as the enemy who has sort to usurp their king and therefore you must be destroyed. No wonder the collective noun for  crows is a murder.

My crows are unleashed to perpetuate the devaluation against you. My dark minions come forth in order to do my bidding. The crows flap around you, their dark wings making it difficult for you to see clearly. Their incessant squawking fills your ears as they scold you for your treason. My crows move quickly, announcing to your support network the terrible way you have behaved and before they can be struck down they fly away to flap around you once more, their cacophony of insults swirling about you. This near constant noise of insult and vitriol has all been fed to them by me.

Like dark messengers they repeatedly assail you with their name calling and lies, making you anxious as you are under sustained attack. You try and swipe them to one side but they merely dodge your attempts and continue to mock you. As you grow weaker from these repeated assaults they fly closer and then begin to peck at you. Just as we control you through our notorious salami-slicing techniques this pecking from my crows steadily erodes your confidence, your self-esteem, your self-worth and your identity.

The crows land on your shoulder and with vicious beaks peck away something more of you as you try to fight them off but the weakness that has gripped you makes this difficult. More crows come, ordered by me to continue this campaign against you. The deployment of my dark minions saves me energy and allows me to create my butterflies for my new target whilst you lie there curled up in a ball, the dark crows hopping over you, twisted beaks pecking at you, weakening you further.

Those in my coterie, my lieutenants, my agents of darkness provide a fundamental role in both my seduction and devaluation of you. I cannot succeed without them and will always ensure that I have both a box of butterflies to open for you and a tree full of black crows waiting to attack you. Perhaps you need to find a scarecrow?

19 thoughts on “Minions of Darkness : The Narcissist´s Use of Lieutenants

  1. Kim e says:

    you stated….”I offer the reality to those who think they are staying for the children. It is a lie and a betrayal that steals both parents from the child.”

    I beleive this statement is true whether a parent is a N or not.

  2. Asp Emp says:

    Nothing beats seeing Star Wars at Leicester Square Odeon (at the time it was) – being driven there in my dad’s Jaguar. Star Wars 1978 was The Film at the time. It was also easy to find a parking space in London in those days too!

    1. lickemtomorrow says:

      I would have been more excited about being driven in the Jaguar 😉

      1. NarcAngel says:

        I’m still trying to fathom a dad that would think to take you somewhere for enjoyment, never mind where or in what.

        1. lickemtomorrow says:

          Hard to fathom something you’ve never known. Through no fault of your own.

          You have to do it all for yourself as an adult, to try and make up for that loss.

          If you could have gone somewhere, where would it have been (e.g. Star Wars at the Odeon?) and how would you have travelled?

          Parking in London is no problem according to Asp Emp 😉

          1. NarcAngel says:


            Yes, you do it all for yourself as an adult, but that doesn’t erase the feeling that you were different, excluded, unworthy of things basic to others like a show or a meal. I never experienced either, and it was repeatedly pointed out to me by other kids. I can never know what a father feels like.

            You didn’t dream where you would like to go because you know it’s not an option. It will only be what they decide and they never consider what you (or anyone else) might like. It is an exercise in more disappointment.

            I’m not angry about the questions Lickem and I appreciate the gesture, but the lack of these experiences are just the reality of some children enslaved to a narcissist, and the feeling of loss in emotional ways felt by all of them.

            I offer the reality to those who think they are staying for the children. It is a lie and a betrayal that steals both parents from the child.

          2. lickemtomorrow says:

            NA I completely agree. The loss can never be made up for or even comprehended by some. The reality is children will suffer and don’t deserve to. I am 100% for taking children out of situations over which they have no control and which cause them suffering. It is one of the biggest bugbears from my childhood as well.

            If there were occasions when I was a child they were often spoiled. As narcissist’s are wont to do. In some ways I’m not sure what’s worse. And I’ve been on that merry go round with every single narcissist I have been with and encountered. They despise other people’s enjoyment, probably as they can’t achieve the same for themselves. Or, the focus isn’t on them.

            With a narcissist it’s never about you. Or the children. It’s all about them.

            Someone has to get off the merry go round, and that someone is you if you are the parent. Children are dependent on their parents. Bottom line. I fully endorse your thinking that parent’s need to take responsibility. For some children there is no recovery.

            You and I are fortunate that we made it through our differing scenarios. I would never discount somebody else’s loss. Mine are very real to me as well. They wound me still. And exclusion comes in so many different forms.

            I read your letter, NA. It was powerful and painful and struck a very deep chord in me. We do not want to kid ourselves about the damage that can and has been done, no doubt to countless of children.

            I’m glad you shared your thoughts. I’m sorry your loss was so great.

            I know nothing will ever make up for that.

      2. Asp Emp says:

        It was a very nice car. The very dark green exterior. Chrome & ?burr walnut? dashboard. Pale green leather seats. Colour & quality of carpet flooring. Automatic, not manual. He loved to cruise around in it. Making regular visits to London and meeting up with his friends / business associates for expensive & long lunches. Sometimes taking me & my sister along. Yup, it was a nice car.

        1. lickemtomorrow says:

          It sounds very luxurious! And green 🙂 Guessing it must have been his favourite colour.

          And I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen a green Jag. But, certainly got a thing for them.

          Personally, I’m a Mustang girl.

          My dad loved big ‘ol American cars and owned a couple of Buicks. Pretty sure he triangulated my mother with them, now that I think about it, but what guy doesn’t triangulate his wife/girlfriend with his car? That’s a triangulation I can understand 😉

          1. Asp Emp says:

            Oh, the Jag is long gone – mother sold it for peanuts to some guy who spoke cockney twang. I think it was a 420 model – the shape is the same. I wouldn’t know what his favourite colour was – he wore the same fashions as everyone else did in the 70’s.

            I like your ‘triangulation’ theory on cars 🙂 I think it’s more like mobile phones these days 😉

  3. lickemtomorrow says:

    This reminds me of a scene from the Hunger Games.

    Katniss Everdeen has been manipulated during the Games by Mockingjays who can imitate other people’s voices. She believes she hears her sister in distress and responds only to realize it is a ‘mocking’ jay. She is then assaulted with an hour of these cries unable to escape them. She is completely traumatized when they are gone.

    So, this post painted a picture for me similar to that seen in the movie. Something relentless and unforgiving.

    Those once kind suddenly become cruel. Meaning the empath not only suffers at the hands of the narcissist.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Battle Royale with Cheese.

      1. lickemtomorrow says:

        Haha, HG 😛

        I know what you think, and I was daring you to say it!

        We’ve been here before … but I couldn’t help revisiting.

        You know how much I love the Hunger Games <3

        And it's a plug for Battle Royale at the same time 😉

        1. lickemtomorrow says:

          BTW, fan fail … those should be Jabberjays, not Mockingjays!

          Apologies to any other HG (Hunger Games) fans here 🙂

        2. NarcAngel says:

          Is Hunger Games better than Star Wars? Not that it would take much.

          1. HG Tudor says:

            Heresy! Burn the witch!

          2. lickemtomorrow says:

            Yes, NA, it is 🙂

          3. lickemtomorrow says:

            HG will have to burn both of us now!

            Since the Maid of Orleans (Joan of Arc) is my avatar, I have previous experience.

  4. December Infinity says:

    Ewww ,,, time to run!

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