Letter to the Narcissist : No. 21

 

 

Dear Narc,

You tried to steal my shine. You tried to turn off my smile. You almost succeeded in raping my soul but I found myself stronger and today I thank you.

Thank you because you revealed to me who I am and how much I am worth.

Thank you because you made me understand that I was right since the beginning and that emotions don’t make mistakes, I made a mistake because I did not trust my feelings.

Thank you for having disclosed to me what I do not want in a person.

Thank you because you showed me how strong I am.

Thank you because you made me understand how many friends I have and how many people love me.

Thank you because that made me understand that I did right till now.

Thank you because I trusted you, despite my past and now I know that I will do the same despite you.

Thank you because now that you taught me who I am, my smile is always on.

Thank you because I love myself much more than before because I survived you in spite of everything.

Thank you for having forced me to grow up and for demonstrating to me that bad and ugly people exist even close to me.

Thank you for the existential misery that you have shown, it prevents me from hating you and from having bad feelings towards you; it causes me only commiseration and that made it easy to having let you go.

Thank you because since you are not with me anymore, my life is lighter, I am not obliged to take care of you as if you were a child, the world does not turn anymore around you, I am not obliged to hear you anymore explaining to me how amazing you are while you do things anyone does and expect to be admired like you were a superhero. I do not feel anymore embarrassment with my friends when you tried to drive the attention to you speaking about money and who you pretended to be friends with without paying attention to the fact that no one is interested, I do not need anymore to call off my spaces because you are not able to stay without me. I am no more forced to hear you speak about your exes. I do not feel any more kept out without any reason from events where you deem it is not appropriate that I participate with you, I do not need to receive your multiple phone calls at 3 AM when you claim you finished working while you are abroad.

I could go on with this list of thank you for long but, the biggest thank you has to be paid to me who, unaware of the being I was dealing with, when I felt there was something very wrong in your behavior even if I could not pinpoint what it was, triggered you and made you explode in your whole inconsistency. I wish you a long full and good life.

One thought on “Letter to the Narcissist : No. 21

  1. karmicoverload says:

    Great letter, Benedetta. These paragraphs really struck me:

    “Thank you for having forced me to grow up and for demonstrating to me that bad and ugly people exist even close to me.

    Thank you for the existential misery that you have shown, it prevents me from hating you and from having bad feelings towards you; it causes me only commiseration and that made it easy to having let you go.”

    The first is an of echo my current feelings, the second is what I hope to achieve. Although I am not quite at the “letting go” stage just yet.

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