That’s Not Important Right Now



Our sense of entitlement, lack of consideration and our failure to recognise and respect boundaries means that we are important and you are not. Our need is an emergency. Your needs are secondary. Our requirements are fundamental. Your wants are irrelevant. If we want something it must be done and you must drop everything else, cancel your plans and ensure we are provided for and catered to otherwise all hell breaks loose.

Fail to do something we want and when we want (even if we haven’t told you what it is) is regarded by us a criticism and our fury is ignited. We may impose a cold furious silent treatment or lambast you with our heated fury but either way we are important and you are not.

We show no appreciation of your situation, no consideration of your position and scant regard for what you might need or have to contend with. It is predictable all about us. Any situation, any time and any moment we will trample all over what you are doing in order to get what we want done.

Whatever you may have organised, planned or whatever you are doing is minutiae and utterly inconsequential to the massively important event, occurrence or happening that we have decreed. Expect interruptions, abrasive treatment and a complete lack of manners and consideration. This mind-set that what you are doing is not important appears often and repeated and is symptomatic of so many of our narcissistic traits. Here are twenty instances you may recognise where what you are doing is not important right now.


  1. Talking over you.
  2. Changing channel on the television when you are clearly watching something.
  3. Switching off music that you are listening to.
  4. Playing music loudly when you are relaxing.
  5. Thrusting a newspaper under your nose when you are reading a book and saying “look at this”
  6. Talking to you when you are on the telephone.
  7. Calling you at work and raising a trivial matter and demanding that you do something about it.
  8. Asking you to pass something that is in reach when you are doing some other task.
  9. Saying la la la when you are trying to explain something.
  10. Making you late because we needed you to straighten our tie several times first.
  11. Calling you indoors from an outdoors task just to point out something on the television which is irrelevant.
  12. Calling you and asking where something is when it is easy to find.
  13. Calling you when you are socialising and demanding that you return home to deal with an emergency – such as the blinds are stuck or we have run out of peanut butter
  14. Demanding you prepare our evening meal when you are trying to get ready to go out.
  15. Feigning a greater illness when you are unwell.
  16. Waking you up to tell you something pointless.
  17. Ringing the landline from our mobile (withholding the number) and insisting you answer when you are trying to eat and then hanging up.
  18. Demanding to be picked up or given a lift irrespective of what you might be doing.
  19. Using items you need to complete a task.
  20. Thrusting a tablet under your nose as you are trying to do something and telling you to “watch this” only to see a video of a man falling down some stairs.

It does not matter how trivial, ridiculous or childish the behaviour is as long as it disrupts you and thrusts your attention onto us, even if it is to react in a negative way, we will always behave in such a way.

14 thoughts on “That’s Not Important Right Now

  1. Asp Emp says:

    “It does not matter how trivial, ridiculous or childish the behaviour is as long as it disrupts you and thrusts your attention onto us, even if it is to react in a negative way, we will always behave in such a way.”

    Says it all really.

    Yup, the higher ups at work also behaved like ‘children’ and rudely demanded your attention when you are busy working. Expected people to wait ALL day for a phone call. Expected you to take on tasks immediately, even when you are busy doing another one. Imposing ridiculous deadlines. Changing the rules whenever they felt like it and in any way that suited them, making up their own non-existent rules. Absolutely ridiculous behaviour. Pathetic. Even if they have been proved wrong, they still act like bonobos strutting around. This paragraph only the ones I knew at work.

  2. karmicoverload says:

    Right after we “addressed” our second break-up and “made friends” again, (Over message, naturally), he used those words exactly. “That’s not important right now. What is important is this sandwich I just ate.”

    1. Fiddleress says:

      “That’s not important right now. What is important is this sandwich I just ate.” That must have made you feel that making up was the best thing that had happened to you, I’m sure! Excuse the irony, I was no better.

      And somehow what he said makes me think of what the advocates – and instructors, mostly – of mindfulness (meditation) keep saying: the only thing that’s important is the here and now, the clothes you can feel on your skin (or the air, if no clothes!), the place where you are (doing nothing, and striving not to even think seriously). It never worked for me. I tried years ago on doctor’s advice, because I was supposedly thinking too much and I worried too much, and no one could understand why… But it bored me stiff or I just felt like bursting into laughter. On the good days.
      I wonder if it was narcissists that made this ‘mindfulness’ business so popular. Overwhelming ‘Angels’, Mid-Rangers.

  3. Truthseeker6157 says:

    I have to say this just sounds like a normal day in my house ha ha. One narc equates roughly to two kids then.

    Mother meets narc.

    1. You could always try the talking over me thing.
    2. I only watch TV in the kitchen whilst ironing. No one messes with me when I’m ironing.
    3. I listen to music through headphones. Sorry? What was that?
    4. Play what you want. As long as it’s not (c)rap music.
    5. Do they still make newspapers?
    6. I’m not a big phone user. Ttyl biab x
    7. You wouldn’t reach me at work. Because I’m at work.
    8. Pass something that’s in reach? Why? Do your arms not work?
    9. La la la, is that like Doe Ray Me? Ok Maria.
    10. If you can’t do your own tie by now, then you are a lost cause, I can’t help you, sorry.
    11. Yeah, this outdoor task thing….
    12. How do I know where you put it? Use ‘The Force‘
    13. I’m out with friends. Bit drunk. I can’t understand what you are saying.
    14. Prepare your evening meal? You can forage like everyone else.
    15. I don’t get sick, ever. I have two kids, I’m immune to absolutely everything.
    16. I’ve slept through an earthquake and my neighbours house burning down. On you go.
    17. I don’t eat. I graze or take my nutrients from the air.
    18. I am the house taxi. Stand in line.
    19.There’s that task thing again.
    20. Do you like cats?

    1. Asp Emp says:

      “One narc equates roughly to two kids then.” LOL. Probably depends on the school (LOL).

  4. Empath007 says:

    Is it emotional thinking to want to waltz into your narc ex’s work place (to “see” someone else) and show off your newly improved body and gloat about some new success?…. Come on… can’t an empath have ANY fun ? haha !

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. Empath007 says:

        Fair enough.

        But you can’t take away my fantasy 🙂

        This time I will know he will be jealous of my contentment. I’ll be expecting him to want to tear me down. And i’ll Know exactly why he wants to do it.

    2. Asp Emp says:

      It’s called ‘showing off’. And why not? ………. Hmm, I suppose it is ET.

  5. Michele C Renn-Corchado says:

    Does HG stand for Hugh Grant?

    1. HG Tudor says:


    2. Truthseeker6157 says:

      Thank God for that.

      1. Emma286 says:

        Hey, what’s wrong with Hugh Grant? 😀

        1. Truthseeker6157 says:

          Ha ha, I’m not totally opposed to a bit of Hugh but imagining him as HG felt like the world tilted on its axis just a little!

          Imagining dithering Hugh answering my comments, no, just no 😂

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