I didn’t ask for this you know. I know you did not either but for once let’s not make this about you and let’s talk about me, yes? I never asked to be created so that each and every day I must gather the fuel that is necessary for my existence. Yes, I must eat, I must drink water and I must breathe the air, just as you do, but for me I have another staple requirement of daily living. I must have fuel. Did you choose to always needs food and water? No, you did not. Neither did I. I did not choose to require this fuel either but without it I will cease to exist. What I have created in order to survive in this world will come toppling down and that will be the end of me. How far would you go to eat? At first it is simple enough is it not? You go to the grocery store or you order online from the supermarket and acquire the ingredients to make a meal or receive a pre-cooked one. You chop, you peel, you mash and you stir and you make that meal. A hundred thousand different recipes to choose from. Instead you may remove the packaging, pierce the cling film and pop it in the over or the microwave. Either way you have food, ready to eat and to sustain you. But what if you had no money to acquire this food, how would you quell the rumblings in your stomach? Perhaps you might ask to be given food from neighbours, from food banks or left overs at supermarkets. It is demeaning but you need to eat don’t you, so what does a little pride matter so long as your stomach is filled? However, what if that charity ends? What if the benevolence of friends and neighbours dries up? What would you do then? What if there are no friends and no neighbours? Would you look to survive on berries you find by the roadside, drink the water from a stream? Would that sustain you for long or would you tire of that? Would you scavenge through the bins outside a supermarket for food that has been thrown out but is perfectly edible? Is that stealing? Perhaps not. Would you cope with the stares of pity and disdain from those who saw you surfing a dumpster?
Would you steal from the shops in order to quell the hunger pangs? Snatch a loaf from a bakery, sneak into a house and steal that cooling pie or rifle through the cupboards in order to find something to eat. What if there is no edible food in the dumpster, would you remove the mould and eat what you find, risking illness? What if the supermarkets ran out of food and there was nowhere to steal it from? Would you scavenge from the orchards until that fruit ran out? Would you catch fish or hunt a lamb or grab a chicken in order to cook and eat it over an open fire? What if the usual sources of meat began to vanish, having fallen prey to starving wild animals following the collapse of civilisation, what then? Would you try new sources? Would you, driven by hunger hunt down and eat a sparrow or a robin? How about an owl? Seagull? Would you slaughter a fox in order to eat its meat? Where would you stop? Would you eat another human being in order to survive? When needs must where would you draw the line? How far would you go to feed yourself and your loved ones? Begging, growing you own, stealing, savagery, cannibalism? Do you have a limit or when the chips are down and your stomach is knotted with the agony of starvation would there be no limit? How far would you go? Would you fight another person for a packet of rice? Beat someone up in order to steal their hoard of windfalls? Would you consider their loss of their food source and their injuries an acceptable consequence of your own necessary survival? Would this become collateral damage in the pursuit of survival? Abhorrent as it may sound, I should imagine, when the need really arises, that you would go beyond the unpalatable in order to survive.
Now replace food with the need for fuel and you will understand that I have no choice other than to gather this fuel from different sources and in different ways throughout the course of each day. The consequences which arise may seem regrettable to you but they are purely the result of this need for me to gain fuel. I did not ask to have to do this, but the way I have been created makes it so. In the same way that you would fight to ensure your own survival, rather than curling up and dying in a hole, so must I. Does that make me what would be regarded as a bad person for just doing what I need to in order to exist? I suggest that it does not. I know that what I do has consequences for others. I am not blind nor am I a fool. I understand fully the devastation that I cause as I tear through someone else’s life like a whirlwind, sucking everything in, hurling it about and then discarding it broken and shattered. I have heard the complaints, the stories, the recollections and the accounts. I have heard the cries of dismay, the wails of misery, the screams of terror and the slow sobs of pain. I know what is caused by my actions but what choice do I have? I do not set out to achieve these things but they must always arise as a consequence of what I must do.
I feel no guilt nor remorse. I am devoid of those emotions. Another consequence of the way I have been created. I feel no shame in these actions, no pity for those who suffer from my behaviours and no sense of empathy for those who are remorselessly cut down by my machinations. I am not burdened by such emotions so I do not toss and turn at night, I do not have my sleep peppered by nightmares of torment, I do not sit in anguish and seek absolution for everything I have done and everything that I am to do. Those concepts are not applicable to me. What I do is invite you to understand me. I want you to understand what I am, what I must do and what arises from this and if you were in my shoes then you would do the same. This does not make me a bad person does it? I am a good man who is having to do a bad job. Yes?
Narcissim is a coping mechanism…it was created to replace and protect your inner core. It was a choice for survival but it was never meant to take place of your inner core. I suppose your inner core is incomplete and narcissism took over .you never allowed your self to be created …I am not blaming you per say but I am saying that the empath and narcissit suffered same trauma …why then the differing paths? Everyone copes differently sometimes things take subconsciously without permission…but I always wonder why did you choose this path? Thank you for inviting us into your world. Our world is dark as well but every one chose a path for survival
I have to say. I really felt this post so much and it pulled at my heart.
It almost comes across as if HG is concerned whether he is good or bad but that cannot be the case…but I may not be applying it correctly. I tend to feel and sense literally everything.
“I want you to understand what I am, what I must do and what arises from this and if you were in my shoes then you would do the same” – Yes, I would.
“This does not make me a bad person does it?” – No. Just a human being with their ‘needs’ in a different order to those of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
“I am a good man who is having to do a bad job. Yes?” – Yes, you’re a good man. And no, you’re not doing a bad job, in the empowerment of empaths. Yes, you’re doing a “bad job” – something that medical ‘experts’ are NOT doing and yet SHOULD be doing, so you are doing it for them (because of ignorance and lack of knowledge – therefore NOT managing or reducing the level of emotional & mental health sufferers worldwide).
Intriguingly Curious, Mr. Tudor understands us better than we understand ourselves. Mr. Tudor has shown so many of our true self. He gives us clarity and enlightenment.
That’s reassuring.
Because to be truly understood, is a different kind of intimacy.
Although I realise the objective here is to understand his perspective primarily.
HG has done a lot of research and would have perused a lot of material as well as reading & hearing what a huge number of people have said about their experiences with narcissists. HG also understands a great deal about ‘life’. He seems to have an ‘inner radar’ that is probably sharper than people realise.
You have the natural yet very powerful ‘instincts’ and to be able to use your mind to really understand so much about the human psyches. It’s really impressive.
It is a strange one to wrap your head around isn’t it? In some ways it kind of annoys me, that someone can profile me to such an extent that they know me as well, if not better than I know myself. HG is shockingly accurate. That said, I benefit and continue to learn from his understanding of us as empaths.
How many empaths do you know? I know two, three including myself. Accurate information is tough to find anywhere, almost non existent in fact, apart from here. Comparatively, HG is surrounded by empaths in his real life and has a constant flow of information from the blog, consultations etc. Stored, analysed, understood. With that amount of information that is constantly updating itself, and a mind like his to process and interpret it, yes, undoubtedly, he understands us to the nth degree. He doesn’t empathise with us though, he doesn’t relate in the way that we relate and communicate with each other. He doesn’t need to, it makes him no less effective in understanding and explaining how our minds work.
Essentially, it’s a case of knowing our vital statistics!
I know many empaths. I’m not necessarily sure of their specific types, but if you are empathic yourself, you can tell from their energy, their actions and behaviours that they are an empath. You naturally draw and warm to these ones.
A person can be profiled only from what the profiler has witnessed themselves personally over time and from what the person being profiled shows to them.
Then perhaps also you have to take into account that people don’t always stay the same. We are all a work in progress and are at different stages psychologically, mentally and emotionally, and therefore you could profile someone, and then 5 to 10 years later, they are different to that original profile.
Our experiences shape and mold us, and this affects our thinking, and behaviours in different ways.
I do not doubt HG’s expertise and clever mind. This is clear to see. However, there has to be a point in which you “trust” someone, and actually experience something for yourself.
You cannot explain what snow is like to someone who has never experienced it for themselves.
They have to taste as it were, and see.
I feel similar in the fact that as of yet, I have nothing to base my trust on. I can go from other people’s experience which is very positive, and what they tell me, but there is still something lacking that I need to trust…
So that’s another reason why I took the empath detector test so that I can personally see what HG sees within me, or about me, and then experience what you are all saying… for myself.
Intriguingly Curious, I just saw this and Im sorry I didn’t respond sooner.
I understand your hesitancy. I didn’t trust Mr. Tudor either when I first came here. I mean, he is a narcissist. The more I was here though, the more I saw how accurate he was and it became easy to trust him. I dont know if I necessarily agree that the primary focus is to learn the narcissist’s perspective. It starts out that way and then it morphs into learning about yourself. Stay here and you’ll see why we all trust him as much as we do.
Intriguingly Curious, I had trouble trusting HG right off the bat too. But, his information was so accurate to what I’d experienced and the people on this blog were having so much fun in the course of their learning that I decided to stick around. Now, having done 3 consults, purchased many books and Knowledge Vault items, watching videos and being involved with the blog almost daily for just a couple of months, I have a much higher comfort level. Especially when were coming out of a situation that was, or at least felt, dangerous, it can be intimidating. But, it’s a good place, HG does exceptional work and if you stay for a while I believe you will benefit.
Hello Curious, I read your comment and understand what you are saying & where you are coming from. When I came to KTN 4.5 months ago, I had ‘lost sight of who I was’ and was under a great deal of various ’emotions’ and ‘mental’ stress & confusion. I read articles / blogger comments & some of HG’s books. I learned about narcissism (still am) – what is more important than anything else (to me) – was myself. I understood my past & why I carried my own “darkness” (reading ‘The Creature – An Introduction’) ‘flicked’ a switch in my mind and then I was able to ‘breathe’. A narcissist mother, intimate relationships with narcissists did “shape” my emotions & cognitive thinking. It has now been ‘turned around’. I had always ‘trusted’ my instincts yet they were “clouded” under narcissist ‘influences’ of my past. I was always “me” ‘inside’ but was not allowed to be – I have ‘freed’ myself – empowered by this site, other bloggers & HG.
What I am saying is, I ‘looked’ into myself (my mind & emotions).
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Narcissim is a coping mechanism…it was created to replace and protect your inner core. It was a choice for survival but it was never meant to take place of your inner core. I suppose your inner core is incomplete and narcissism took over .you never allowed your self to be created …I am not blaming you per say but I am saying that the empath and narcissit suffered same trauma …why then the differing paths? Everyone copes differently sometimes things take subconsciously without permission…but I always wonder why did you choose this path? Thank you for inviting us into your world. Our world is dark as well but every one chose a path for survival
I have to say. I really felt this post so much and it pulled at my heart.
It almost comes across as if HG is concerned whether he is good or bad but that cannot be the case…but I may not be applying it correctly. I tend to feel and sense literally everything.
“I want you to understand what I am, what I must do and what arises from this and if you were in my shoes then you would do the same” – Yes, I would.
“This does not make me a bad person does it?” – No. Just a human being with their ‘needs’ in a different order to those of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
“I am a good man who is having to do a bad job. Yes?” – Yes, you’re a good man. And no, you’re not doing a bad job, in the empowerment of empaths. Yes, you’re doing a “bad job” – something that medical ‘experts’ are NOT doing and yet SHOULD be doing, so you are doing it for them (because of ignorance and lack of knowledge – therefore NOT managing or reducing the level of emotional & mental health sufferers worldwide).
Maybe I might not have this right.
You invite us to understand you HG.
I am trying. We try, although can only do so through the lens of our own perspective.
But can you truly understand us from your own perspective?
Yes.
Intriguingly Curious, Mr. Tudor understands us better than we understand ourselves. Mr. Tudor has shown so many of our true self. He gives us clarity and enlightenment.
Thank you Leigh.
You’re very welcome and thank you!
Leigh
That’s reassuring.
Because to be truly understood, is a different kind of intimacy.
Although I realise the objective here is to understand his perspective primarily.
HG has done a lot of research and would have perused a lot of material as well as reading & hearing what a huge number of people have said about their experiences with narcissists. HG also understands a great deal about ‘life’. He seems to have an ‘inner radar’ that is probably sharper than people realise.
Correct, I am naturally attuned to this and my training hones this substantial skill even further.
You have the natural yet very powerful ‘instincts’ and to be able to use your mind to really understand so much about the human psyches. It’s really impressive.
Curious,
It is a strange one to wrap your head around isn’t it? In some ways it kind of annoys me, that someone can profile me to such an extent that they know me as well, if not better than I know myself. HG is shockingly accurate. That said, I benefit and continue to learn from his understanding of us as empaths.
How many empaths do you know? I know two, three including myself. Accurate information is tough to find anywhere, almost non existent in fact, apart from here. Comparatively, HG is surrounded by empaths in his real life and has a constant flow of information from the blog, consultations etc. Stored, analysed, understood. With that amount of information that is constantly updating itself, and a mind like his to process and interpret it, yes, undoubtedly, he understands us to the nth degree. He doesn’t empathise with us though, he doesn’t relate in the way that we relate and communicate with each other. He doesn’t need to, it makes him no less effective in understanding and explaining how our minds work.
Essentially, it’s a case of knowing our vital statistics!
Correct.
Truthseeker6157
It is indeed a very strange one.
I know many empaths. I’m not necessarily sure of their specific types, but if you are empathic yourself, you can tell from their energy, their actions and behaviours that they are an empath. You naturally draw and warm to these ones.
A person can be profiled only from what the profiler has witnessed themselves personally over time and from what the person being profiled shows to them.
Then perhaps also you have to take into account that people don’t always stay the same. We are all a work in progress and are at different stages psychologically, mentally and emotionally, and therefore you could profile someone, and then 5 to 10 years later, they are different to that original profile.
Our experiences shape and mold us, and this affects our thinking, and behaviours in different ways.
I do not doubt HG’s expertise and clever mind. This is clear to see. However, there has to be a point in which you “trust” someone, and actually experience something for yourself.
You cannot explain what snow is like to someone who has never experienced it for themselves.
They have to taste as it were, and see.
I feel similar in the fact that as of yet, I have nothing to base my trust on. I can go from other people’s experience which is very positive, and what they tell me, but there is still something lacking that I need to trust…
So that’s another reason why I took the empath detector test so that I can personally see what HG sees within me, or about me, and then experience what you are all saying… for myself.
I hope I have explained this ok?
Intriguingly Curious, I just saw this and Im sorry I didn’t respond sooner.
I understand your hesitancy. I didn’t trust Mr. Tudor either when I first came here. I mean, he is a narcissist. The more I was here though, the more I saw how accurate he was and it became easy to trust him. I dont know if I necessarily agree that the primary focus is to learn the narcissist’s perspective. It starts out that way and then it morphs into learning about yourself. Stay here and you’ll see why we all trust him as much as we do.
Intriguingly Curious, I had trouble trusting HG right off the bat too. But, his information was so accurate to what I’d experienced and the people on this blog were having so much fun in the course of their learning that I decided to stick around. Now, having done 3 consults, purchased many books and Knowledge Vault items, watching videos and being involved with the blog almost daily for just a couple of months, I have a much higher comfort level. Especially when were coming out of a situation that was, or at least felt, dangerous, it can be intimidating. But, it’s a good place, HG does exceptional work and if you stay for a while I believe you will benefit.
Hello Curious, I read your comment and understand what you are saying & where you are coming from. When I came to KTN 4.5 months ago, I had ‘lost sight of who I was’ and was under a great deal of various ’emotions’ and ‘mental’ stress & confusion. I read articles / blogger comments & some of HG’s books. I learned about narcissism (still am) – what is more important than anything else (to me) – was myself. I understood my past & why I carried my own “darkness” (reading ‘The Creature – An Introduction’) ‘flicked’ a switch in my mind and then I was able to ‘breathe’. A narcissist mother, intimate relationships with narcissists did “shape” my emotions & cognitive thinking. It has now been ‘turned around’. I had always ‘trusted’ my instincts yet they were “clouded” under narcissist ‘influences’ of my past. I was always “me” ‘inside’ but was not allowed to be – I have ‘freed’ myself – empowered by this site, other bloggers & HG.
What I am saying is, I ‘looked’ into myself (my mind & emotions).
HG can be trusted.
Hope my comment clarifies some things for you 🙂