The Ageing Narcissist : Part 2



The Somatic Narcissist
The Somatic Narcissist is one of our kind who places the greatest stock in physical appearances. This is applicable to the narcissist in terms of being handsome or beautiful with an impressive and pleasing physique, well-dressed, hygienic and alluring using all the benefits of cosmetics and cosmetic surgery available. It also applies to the Somatic’s victims in terms of ensuring that they possess the relevant traits which the Somatic finds appealing, so that they too are physically attractive, well-groomed and such like. Furthermore, the Somatic’s peacocking extends to not just what he or she looks like and that their victim looks like, but also material trappings in terms of income, possessions, size of house and similar. Everything about the Somatic should look fantastic and everything around the Somatic should also look fantastic, just not as fantastic as him or her as clearly it would not be acceptable for the Somatic Narcissist to be outshone by his victim. Accordingly, how would the advancing of age affect this particular cadre, when considered also with reference to the three schools of narcissism? There is much information which can be relayed regarding the effects of aging on the somatic cadre and therefore this will need to be broken down according to each school of narcissism and then subdivided further. This article will address the effects of aging on the Lesser Somatic and first of all with reference to the lowest ranking of the lowest school, the Lower Lesser.
The Lower Lesser Somatic Narcissist – LLSN 

This individual places great stock in wanting to look good but suffers from the delusion that he is better looking than he actually is. One would not describe him as ugly, he will indeed have a degree of handsomeness about himself but in his mind, he is devilishly handsome. His physique may be decent, but he sees it as extra-special and more ripped and buffed than he really happens to be. Everything about the Lower Lesser Somatic is such that whilst he has some physical attractiveness and would never be described as off-putting in that regard, his regard for his attractiveness in the way that he looks, the way he dresses and his lifestyle is such that he thinks he is irresistible.
Accordingly, when the onset of age arrives and the reasonable physique is lost, weight is gained, the muscle definition vanishes and he does not suit the clothes he insists still on wearing, he does not see this. In his mind, he remains the ravishing prospect he was in his 20s and even then, it was exaggerated. He does not see, in the same way that he does not see that he is a narcissist, he also does not see any deterioration in his looks and physical appeal.
The LLSN will still seek to gather fuel from sources based on his deluded physical attractiveness. He will continue to engage in the infidelity for which Somatics are renowned and regards those who have the somatic traits which he desires as fair game still, viable targets and ripe for the plucking. Accordingly, the primary source of the aging LLSN can expect to experience infidelity during devaluation but also scathing comments about the physical appearance of that primary source if he or she is advanced in age as well. The LLSN does not see his own receding hair line, but considers that his hair still suits him and that whilst the locks may not be leonine in nature, they are still attractive, but he will identify a grey hair on the head of a primary source at ten paces and make disparaging comments about the same. The primary source can expect to have their own physical appearance commented on, thus a sagging bottom will be derided, a weight gain will result in name-calling and dressing in a style appropriate with increasing age will be described as boring and frumpish, even though the LLSN will not see his own appearance as diminished.
This will cause the LLSN to pursue younger targets who are far more attractive and quite frankly out of his league. He will not have even the fallbacks of charm and/or economic power which might cause his targets to overlook his balding pate, missing teeth and paunch. Instead he will become a figure of derision as he insists in frequenting those hunting grounds which once worked so well for him a decade or two ago, but have changed beyond his limited powers.
Should anyone rebuff his attempts to seduce, he will react badly. His fury will be ignited and he will lash out at those who had scoffed at his ham-fisted attempts to ensnare them. He will respond with savage comments about the looks of the recipient of his attention, oblivious to how he is no position to cast stones around. He will hurl drinks over people, smash furniture and with his low control threshold he will engage in physical attacks as well.
This deluded behaviour coupled with the anti-social element of this ignited fury will result in him soon gaining a reputation in his locality, become derided as a figure of scorn and considered as a loser of a barfly. His anger will be taken out on those who reject him and his suffering primary source who, unaware of what he is and of advanced age also, will be unable and/or unwilling to escape him. They will suffer the brunt of his ignited fury as he returns from an evening out wounded by the scathing comments.
The volatile nature of the LLSN means that he will rarely struggle for fuel because he will either
1. Draw it from the negative reactions of those who reject him when he interacts with tertiary and secondary sources;
2. Draw it from the positive and/or negative responses of the long-suffering primary source;
3. Draw it from the positive and/or negative responses of an intimate partner secondary source.
The LLSN’s ability to remain effective in drawing fuel means that he will maintain sufficient energy to keep angling for an affair, a hook-up and a one night stand. He will be repeatedly rejected but in true playing the percentage style, he will eventually find someone who is taken in by his approach and thus he will acquire this intimate partner as a secondary source until he unleashes his fury against her and she loses interest.
The LLSN, in common with the school of being a Lesser, only has a small group of family and friends as secondary sources to begin with. He will rely on these individuals to provide intermittent fuel in the reducing interactions that occur, but he will look to the primary source and other secondary and tertiary sources that he meets out and about for his fuel provision. So long as he has mobility, he will continue to frequent the hunting grounds of his prime, even if he strikes a somewhat incongruous figure because of age, dress sense and music choice. He lacks the awareness to seek out his victims in a more age-appropriate hunting ground and therefore would believe he belongs in the mosh pit rather than at a tea dance.
The LLSN whilst relying on physicality to drive his seduction, does not polish and maintain that physicality like a higher school Somatic. Accordingly, the use of drink, tobacco, drugs – both street and prescription – which are all seen as part of the flash and fast lifestyle which he believes is his by right, will be continued and will begin to take their toll. Unless blessed with a particularly strong constitution, there is a risk that the LLSN will not reach the most advanced years and instead will succumb to the relevant fatal illnesses which are linked to such lifestyle choices.
The LLSN is likely to be found taking his last breaths, drunk, in a rain-soaked alleyway as his heart finally gives up under the strain of the demands he has made on it, with the dimming sound of yesteryear’s hits providing the final soundtrack to his last moments alive.
The Middle Lesser Somatic Narcissist – MLSN
The MLSN suffers from the same delusional outlook as the LLSN and therefore much of his behaviour and outcome will be similar to that described above. The slight difference is that the MLSN will have a little more charm, although not masses of it by any standard and will have a slightly improved economic situation so that when he is trawling the bars and fleshpots in order to seduce those tertiary and secondary sources he may have slightly more success in ensnaring somebody.
Whereas the LLSN cuts a rather isolated figure which lurches from venue to venue seeking a fix of fuel from potential targets, the MLSN as he ages is more likely to create a gang of hangers-on and cronies who will supply fuel and reinforce, in order to secure a free beer or a lift somewhere, the MLSN’s deluded view that he is still gorgeous and attractive. The MLSN will seek reassurance from this coterie as to his appeal and if it is not forthcoming, he will regard that as criticism and he will lash out at the coterie to draw negative fuel. Where the LLSN does this and becomes increasingly isolated by people who are fed up of being shouted at and hit, the MLSN has some ability to draw those coterie members back to him and continue the association.
Ultimately however the MLSN will behave like the LLSN and therefore will have a long-suffering primary source who he returns to repeatedly after engaging in sordid engagements with those he is able, after repeated attempts with different targets, to seduce. He will suffer the same ravages of his lifestyle, the same inability to control his fury when he is rejected and is unlikely to see particular old age as he succumbs to illness and disease as a consequence of his rampant promiscuity and unhealthy lifestyle choices. The main difference that the MLSN has over the LLSN is that he is able to attract people a little more readily owing to slightly higher charm levels and slight increased economic ability, but they are not significant improvements by any stretch of the imagination.
The Upper Lesser Somatic Narcissist – ULSN
The final subdivision of the lesser school is that of the Upper Lesser. How does he fare with the aging process when he is from the somatic cadre? Whereas the LLSN and MLSN are deluded as to the extent of their physical appeal, the ULSN is particularly physical attractive. He will have natural good looks, engages in a rudimentary regime of skin care and hygiene which is sufficient but far removed from that of the Greater Somatic and looks after his body. The female equivalent will attend gym classes, eat reasonably well and use cosmetics as far as she is able within the confines of a lower disposal income than the other schools of narcissism.
The ULSN has enjoyed much success through his or her life by relying on being physically attractive with a dash of pleasant charm to boot. They still possess the low fury control threshold but it is not as poor as that of the Lower Lesser, however when that fury is ignited the ULSN being in the best physical shape of the three subdivisions of Lesser Somatic Narcissists is the one more prone to causing damage and with an extended period of fury.
In terms of the effect of aging, the ULSN is not hampered by delusion but rather operates through the cynical exploitation of easily being able to attract people to him and rely on pure looks, sexual expertise and animal-magnetism as opposed to utilising economic power, intellect, witticisms and/or charm by the ladleful. When aging occurs to the ULSN he finds that his muscles begin to waste, his looks start to fade and the march of time really begins to take its toll. Also a devotee of the beer, cigs and drugs brigade so often the hallmark of Lesser behaviour, the ULSN was able to counter the effects of this when younger by reason of stamina, youth and racing metabolism. Not any longer. He actually suffers the worst swing in physical appearance of the Lessers. The LLSN and the MLSN were not ugly but they were never stunning and therefore there is only so far they can fall in terms of physical appeal. The ULSN has indeed further to fall as he gains weight, loses his hair, sees his athletic prowess much reduced, struggles for breath and so on.
Lacking the back-up of intellect, wit and charm which would be seen with an Elite and lacking the cognitive function of the Mid-Range and Greater, the ULSN is taken by surprise by his sudden reduction in attractiveness. He does not know what to do. He is not afforded the delusional capacity of his other Lesser Somatic bedfellows but rather he looks on in horror at the sagging skin, the watery eyes, the stiffness of movement. He is becoming the very thing he has never wanted to be; old.
He will suffer a crisis of confidence and this will result in him shunning those hunting grounds which he once prowled so easily. Instead, he will turn to his primary source and alternate between wanting reassurance that she or he is still attracted to him or her and lashing out because of his increasing frustration at his withering frame. His rancour will increase as he ages, causing those who might otherwise wish to fraternise with him to remain away. He does not become more distinguished with age nor does he retain that small amount of charm he once had as an Upper Lesser, instead it is swept away by his increasing bitterness and hatred. He will retreat into a shell, turning to pictures of his former beautiful self for a reminder of what was once but in seeking such affirmation he only increases his torture and will rail against the unfairness of it all, lashing out at his primary source.
The ULSN runs the risk of alienating the primary source and having retreated from other sources through increasing shame at his appearance – which is exacerbated by his reduced fuel levels – the ULSN really then does suffer a crisis of existence. He risks depression as he loses what he believed himself to be and without the trappings of wealth to cause a diversion as a higher schooled somatic may have, he finds himself lonely, suffering the ravages of his lifestyle choices, isolated and a bitter and irate figure. He cannot deal with the loss of his looks, the departure of his once excellent physique and has nothing else to turn to by way of compensation. He will struggle to attract fuel sources and will embark on ham-fisted and ultimately failed seduction of secondary sources, whereby he will not gain sufficient positive fuel from the engagement but rather will turn to lashing out against them and the primary source. In his quest to gain fuel from both primary and secondary, but having little or nothing to offer by way of seduction any more, he may find himself without either.
Whilst the LLSN and MLSN may shuffle off this mortal coil at a younger than anticipated age, they will do so still believing themselves to be attractive and irresistible and therefore their passing away will be somewhat cossetted by delusion. The ULSN will face the horrible and stark reality of the deleterious effects of aging, in terms of illness, disease and the loss of looks and will descend into an isolated, unhygienic, weakened state. Once the lifestyle has caught up with them and they collapse with diseased lungs labouring for breath, he will be thinking ‘I used to be gorgeous, what has happened?’ With his construct near collapse from the shortage of fuel, the reality will become even more harsh and it will be a terrifying and brutal end as he is overtaken by the effects of age, sooner than it ought to have been.

38 thoughts on “The Ageing Narcissist : Part 2

  1. Winning Path says:

    Hi HG –

    With a Lower Mid Range Somatic (possibly Elite – I always considered him intelligent and I know he made the Dean’s List in college, although, for the record, he didn’t start attending college until 49 years of age – and it was mostly for the purpose of hunting grounds for girls fresh out of high school), would age 59 1/2 be a likely age for him to start having a crisis as to his appearance? And would that cause him to try to settle down with a victim? I don’t think he smoked cigarettes, I didn’t know him to be a major drinker, I do believe he took pharmaceutical amphetamines, and I would guess Viagra, too. I paid him a visit when he was 59 1/2 and I was 21, after 5 years of no contact. He had a girlfriend at his house; I don’t think she lived there. He and I spoke for a very long time on the porch, and he said he was breaking up with his girlfriend; he had me confirm that he was still my type before telling me the following: he was tired of the chase; he was ready to settle down; he had known me longer than he had known anyone else (17 years, since I was 4); he always felt comfortable with me like no time had passed; I knew everything about him and accepted him for who he was (and boy, did he have some skeletons in the closet); he talked about having me move in with him; he said that the perfect person had been right in front of him all those years (me) but he hadn’t realized it previously.

    He had become a little doughy, and his face was showing signs of aging — he was still rather attractive in my opinion, but not nearly as attractive as he once was. I’ll reserve all the details of how that situation played out for my consultation with you; but ultimately, I rejected him. He wrote me a bitter letter lamenting the fact that he knew that a sexy young girl like me wouldn’t want anything to do with a man his age. Given his somatic nature and his declining appearance and advancing age, and assuming he was a LMRN, how likely is it that he was genuine about wanting to settle down with me (even if it was just for his selfish reasons of wanting sex with a very young and sexy girl, and to have me take care of the house and take care of him)? How likely is it that he was just future faking? How likely is it that he was having a crisis over his aging appearance?

    As always, thank you!

  2. Cup Cakes says:

    Mine was a disgusting sex addict and I saw it.Had nothing else to offer.

    Makes me sick too my stomach.

  3. Cup Cakes says:

    I will consult with HG to help me pinpoint which cadre my ex was.

  4. Cup Cakes says:

    Im beginning to understand my ex was a lesser

  5. A Victor says:

    Are Lessers typically exceptionally good looking?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      On balance, they are less likely to be (where LL or ML). You can have a very good looking LL however, there is a greater level of delusion amongst them so you can have a ML who thinks he is good looking but is not, or once was but the ravages of his alcohol and meth abuse, poor dental hygiene and lack of exercise have taken their toll on his looks. Accordingly :-

      1. There are some Lessers (Somatic and Elite) who are good looking
      2. There are some Lessers (all cadres) who think they are good looking but are not.
      3. There are some Lessers (more likely Victim) who were once good looking but are no longer.

      1. A Victor says:

        I see, thank you. After submitting that comment I realized it was likely based on the Somatic element to some degree. But, I’d been unaware that Lessers could be elite, that is very interesting and I’m hopeful to learn more of what that looks like as the cadres are fleshed out for us. Thanks again!

    2. Liza says:

      The somatic lesser is typically that femal classmate we all had in high school who always puts on high heels wears verry short or verry tight skirts, uses tooooooooooooo much make up, she generally doesn’t make the difference between beauty and vulgarity and dosen’t seem able to make the difference between appreciative attention and shocked or depreciative stares, the male version wears nike shark shoes and uses toooo much hair gel and steals his bigbrother’s/dad’s aftershave to smell like a man and not a teen.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Laughing…….. laughing……. loving it……. Chavs and Sharons spring to mind with your description (I’m such a bitch, but, hey “vent your spleen”….. laughing)

      2. A Victor says:

        Thank you Liza, very descriptive.

      3. Liza says:

        haha yes i’m mean but i had to suffer 2 years of hearing the tic tac toc of her shoes when she walks and the strong smell of la petite robe noire at 8 in the morning so i decided that i deserve to gossip a little bit and it was for the sake of science and knowlege so i fulfilled the requirments to unlock the “it is not my fault” joker..

        You are verry welcom A Victor ^^

        1. A Victor says:

          Haha, it sounds like you are well justified!

    3. Anm says:

      A Victor, my daughter’s father, who I believe is an upper Lesser (still need hg to analyze him), is considered good looking. I wasn’t head over heels attracted to him at first, as he was a rebound relationship from another narcissist I was in love with. But in his prime, he was 6’1″ tall, 230lbs of muscle, trained boxer and would spend 2 hrs a day at the gym, gets his hair done at a high end salon, and takes vitamins, etc. On paper, one could easily mistake him for a greater. It’s his dysfunctional side of him that proves he is a lesser. I am only speculating, but I assume at 51, instead of hitting the bars and nightclubs these days, he probably frequents the strip clubs where it is more acceptable for old men to hit on 21 year olds. He has high status friends, but their wives aren’t going to invite him to any of the intimate dinner parties.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        “On paper, one could easily mistake him for a greater. It’s his dysfunctional side of him that proves he is a lesser”

        Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. (made me laugh so much, thank you)

        1. Anm says:

          Thank you. I also want to point out, the upper lessers who look good and successful, are also capable of pulling a Harvey Weinstein. Prideful womanizer one day, and suddenly they are claiming disabilities that don’t have medical documentation to back up. My daughters father broke his leg last December. As an upper Lesser somatic, this was like a midlife crisis. He couldn’t go to the gym, had to hire a caregiver to help him bathe, etc. That, along with covid19 this year, really did a number on him. Instead of being prideful and resourceful like he would have been just a few years ago, he lashes out about the injustices of it all. He told our judge the other day that I left him for dead at the hospital. First off,
          He wasn’t going to die over a broken leg, secondly, I don’t need to be there for him. I’ll take care of our child, but he can rot in hell for all I care. It’s not a mid-range pity party ordeal. It’s a strong urge to punish those around you for not being happy pity party. At 51, I understand he still has an audience to entertain these theatrics, but it is already starting to look like a grumpy old man who needs to go to the nursing home.

          1. A Victor says:

            My ex could go from fine to Harvey mode and back again within seconds, I saw him do it whenever it suited his purpose. And he had medical documentation to back it up so he got away with it usually. It was sickening, the blatant manipulation.

          2. Asp Emp says:

            A nursing home at his age? That would make his behaviours worse, he’d be thrown out of one nursing home to another and repeated pattern until there is no nursing home that would take him….

            Laughing at your words “He wasn’t going to die over a broken leg”.

            When a Lesser is ill, they really do ‘lay it on thick’. I would like to share – the Lesser I knew was such a b**tard and he demanded / expected me to return to work 2 DAYS after my hysterectomy operation (I had explained to him that it is major surgery before I had the op!). I was not supposed to be driving my car for 6 wks, not walk much after the op, and build-up the walking daily but taking care not to disrupt the stitches on the inside. The dr was not happy that I asked for the medical note to have wording to the effect of ‘allowed to work but no lifting etc’ as I was supposed to be signed off work for 6 weeks. Lesser would not have my being off work for 6 weeks…… what an a-hole!

            I really hope everything gets sorted for you and that you get what you are entitled to. I am sorry that it is taking so long and it’s a difficult process, yet, you remain strong through it.

          3. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Anm: yes, mine is a prideful womanizer one day …. exemplary husband the next…. immature behavior more fit for a fraternity guy the following one. Lack of consistency, love/hate, hot/cold in a question of hours, risky and impulsive behavior, compulsory exhibitionism and unapologetic call for attention 24/7.

          4. A Victor says:

            Wow Asp Emp! I am so sorry this happened to you! Was this an employer or your significant other? Either way, he sounds horrible!

        2. Cup Cakes says:


      2. A Victor says:

        Thanks for sharing this Anm. I think my ex may be an UL type A. I would’ve guessed Somatic but now learning that Lessers can be Elite, I think that might fit better. I will be getting him analysed at some point also, I’ll probably find out I’m way off on my guess but it’s still interesting to think about.

        He was considered good looking, and, like you, I was not overly attracted to him at first, many are good looking and back then I didn’t think about such things much, I don’t think the world at large did as much. But he was charming enough to keep my attention.

        He didn’t have any unusual grooming or fitness routine, he maintained exactly the same weight all the years I knew him and continued to appear basically fit, getting a regular haircut, being clean and having a certain sexy, rugged style were his only routines. They were all he needed, women flirted with him in front of me, talked to me about how good looking he was, got flustered and nervous around him, again in front of me. Much of it was pretty humorous but there came a point it got old. Oh, and then there were the women who would “size me up”, the “competition”, they used to make me upset. Looking back on it, how much of it did he encouraged? Who knows. But he certainly didn’t do much to stop it once it started. And he really did treat men and women with the same charm, I saw that all the time, he was well liked by people in general so he could say he really didn’t understand why I was upset, he treated everyone the same, and it was true. I didn’t know at the time of course that he was likely keeping control and gaining fuel within his matrix. More falls into place all the time. Sorry so long but thanks for listening.

        1. Asp Emp says:

          AV, really good to read your comment, to know about your experiences – even though not pleasant, it shows that you understand a lot about narcissist behaviours.

          1. A Victor says:

            Well, I don’t know about “a lot” but I am learning and trying to understand more. Thank you for that encouragement Asp Emp!

          2. Asp Emp says:

            Ah, thank you. Give yourself some credit 🙂

        2. Anm says:

          A Victor, I am just not attracted to somatic type narcisisst at all. Like my daughter father owns a white Lexus and a black BMW convertible. The white Lexus looks like he tries too hard, and the black BMW is just too douche bag like. He looks like an entitled ass hole when he drives around in it , and when we were dating, I felt like another hooker riding around in it, so I didn’t like it. I was attracted to him, because he was opposite of the narc I was with before him, or so I thought. This somatic narc gave dollar bills the homeless people on our way to dinner, he didn’t vote, he claimed his political party was “humanitarianism”, so I thought his stupidity was kind of cute because he cared for people. He was also anti guns at the times. It was refreshing after living with a republican politician narcissist. Come to find out though, the dollar bills for the homeless are actually for the strippers, he didn’t vote because he was a felon, didn’t own guns because he was a federal felon, and the humanitarianism was a cover up so you wouldn’t engage him in deep conversation.

          1. A Victor says:

            Wow, so much of this sounds so much like my ex! I am getting more curious all the time. Have you done an NDC on him so you know for sure? I think mine is type A, if he’s a narcissist at all, he was never violent, raised his fist to me one time and pulled the car door shut one time when I was trying to keep him from going, those things happened very close to his departure.

            He never, ever was jealous, not once. He never worried about me stepping out on him, he knew I wouldn’t, or perhaps he wouldn’t have cared. He knew I had cheated on my first husband, didn’t matter, it was not a concern he had, he was extremely confident but very quietly so, not flamboyant but definitely brightened up any place he went, people loved him. It was fun because I didn’t have to entertain, I was just along for the ride, the social arena is where he shined. At home, he was so different, not unkind but just not interactive.

            Anyway, thank you for sharing, it is interesting to hear different aspects and views of narcissism. I hope you’re doing okay, the court stuff is horrible, I think of you often since you posted your last experience there.

          2. Anm says:

            Sorry. I just now saw your reply. No, I have not done the detector on him. I still want to, but that would have been far more effective and needed earlier, when we first broke up. Like many here, I thought my ex could have been a greater narcisisst. But after being here a while, I just can’t no longer view that he is capable enough to be a greater. He isn’t calculated like a greater.

            I don’t think he is a midrange narcissist. Not only does he not have a facade, by he is incapable of maintaing such. His narrative will continuesly change, and if anyone puts two and two together, they would realize he lies about everything. Instead of a facade, he will just say whatever he needs to say at the moment to get his current needs met. Occasionally he will do some type of pity play. This is a last resort tactic though. Most commonly, his narrative is not that he is such a great person, but he has found that it is much easier to just claim that sure, he isn’t the most delightful and moral person, but I am such an awful woman, who is much much worse than he could ever be. He doesn’t really have a logical or legal reason as to why I am such a bad person. The character assassination towards his enemies (me) is favored over a facade. But he does somehow insert superiority in some way. He is capable of obtaining a good job, but he has a lot of oppositional defiance, and can’t stand being told what to do for long, so there is always a falling out. His money comes from his family’s hard work, and inheritance, not form his long term endeavors.
            He does get violent, but he isn’t stupid enough to get into a fist fight at the bar, or do anything out in the open. However, while we were dating, he was always dramatic, and always wanted to leave the club/bar in a very urgent/dramatic fashion because something trivial always happened to upset him. The people we ran into, and the interactions were not normal. If we ran into someone, it was never a neutral interaction. He either highly regarded someone, or he openly displayed negativity with others. It was too much.
            He does have extensive police reports of pushing women, rape, and even hreatening to kill them, road rage, and people reporting that he stole their prescription medications or money, and he did serve two years in prison, and has even been a fbi suspect of a mob shooting. I do think he has murdered at least one or two people in his lifetime. But overall, I think his actions speak of someone who knows the rules, knows when to appropriately follow them if needed. But has a lot of impulses and entitlement to just go with the flow.

    4. wildviolet22 says:

      A Victor- my lesser is cute in an artsy, boyish good looks kind of way. Getting older though (40s). I keep having dreams about him where his outside starts to catch up with his insides, and he loses his looks. Which would make sense if that happens, since there’s nothing cute about abusive behavior.

      Also in the dreams his fuel sources dry up, and he keeps checking his phone, and there are no messages for him because everyone’s figured him out and escaped. Which would serve him right if it all plays out like that in real life :/.

      1. A Victor says:

        My ex had that boyish charm too. I feel like now he’s probably not as good looking, due to his lifestyle and his illness, he has MS. But I think that charm aspect would still be there and working for him. He’s 57, but I feel like if he lost that he would die, it’s the only thing real about him.

    5. Sweetest Perfection says:

      AV, my narc is an UL type A. He is extraordinarily good looking. He’s also extremely somatic; he workouts about 3 hrs every day: running or swimming, abs workout, weights… his body looks like the one from a cover of Men’s Fitness. Because he’s a Professor too, I thought he might be a MRN and maybe elite. You never know until you get HG’s analysis which is so accurate that you will think he’s been following you all this time. I really hope yours is the same as mine, that way we can laugh at them together. ULA are ridiculously hilarious.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Thank you SP.

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          You are welcome and thanks to you for the Narc Detectors.

      2. A Victor says:

        Lol, thanks for that giggle SP! I will be doing the analysis but now, given your comments, I am doubting the ULA. Also, some of the mid range stuff spoke to me last night so who knows. HG will. I’ll let you know if it turns out we can laugh together! He def didn’t have problem with coming too early though, he was typically late. Haha. Sorry, had throw that in…

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          Lucky you!

          1. A Victor says:

            Ummmm…no, not lucky…I wish it would’ve been so, so much potential…

            He had a little routine, didn’t deviate from it, very boring. Enough said.

          2. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Hahaha I didn’t even manage to get to a routine, AV! But now I’m happy it didn’t happen.

          3. A Victor says:

            Haha, his routine started at the outset of our relationship, if only I had realized then! I was with him for 24 years!!! Ugh!!!

          4. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I hate routines in bed, it’s not a musical!

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