Trapped : The Car




We need to control everything around us. This must be done so we can gain fuel. This must be done because our natural paranoia causes us to need to exert our will on those around us, before they can do so to us and undoubtedly with catastrophic consequences. Only by exerting control can we be sure and satisfied that the order of things will be as we require it to be. We hate to be subject to the control of others. That reminds us of matters which are best left alone.

This need and desire for control causes us to adjust our manipulations so that we can engineer situations where we can achieve total control. Total control arises when we have you trapped.

This concept of trapping you works on several levels. The widest level is within the confines of the Narcissistic Relationship. This is why we regard your entanglement with us as being permanent. We chose you and now you belong to us. You have no say in this of course, why would you when you are not of our calibre? The idea of trapping you continues in terms of the Formal Relationship. This is why we move swiftly to proclaim you as our boyfriend, fiancee, partner, wife and so forth.

The application of this labelling is more than just a convenient way of referring to you. We trap you during seduction with the illusion that we create. We trap you during devaluation through the application of our machinations to ensure that you remain stuck and confused. We place traps all around you so they snap close and hold you tight. We get you pregnant, we isolate you from your friends, we make you give up your job so you become financially dependent on us (although we will naturally complain about you leeching off us later on), we stop you seeing your family, we smear people to you and you to them so you are cut adrift from your support networks. On and on it goes the placing and laying of these traps at varying levels so you remain trapped.

This trapping continues within the various stages of the narcissistic cycle. Most often this manifests when we are devaluing you. In keeping with the need to have total control, we want to engineer situations where you are under our control, unable to escape us and thus we can exact our machinations against you and extract what we want from you. To do this, we create Situational Traps and there are many of them which I shall detail to you over the course of various articles, but we shall begin with a Situational Trap which is a favourite of ours; the car.

We will naturally be at the wheel after all the car is ours (whether it might be in your name is irrelevant) and so we have to be the one driving. We choose where we are going, the speed at which we go, the controls of the car are under our charge. You are sat besides us, seatbelt on, buckled in to your seat as the world flashes by. You cannot escape us. You cannot jump from the car. You might unclip your seatbelt and climb into the back of the vehicle, if you are nimble enough, although we will stop you from trying to do that. You are in the hotseat, right next to us and we know it.

You may as well be cuffed to a chair in some dingy basement, with a single bright light shining in your face for the interrogation and treatment will be of a similar nature. The journey may have begun pleasantly enough but if this is a trip which is taking place during the devaluation period, all it takes is for your to blunder in to criticising us and then our fury ignites and the nastiness commences.

With you trapped we know that we have you all to ourselves. There is nowhere for you to go. With a Mid-Ranger or a Greater, you will be lured into the vehicle purely for the purposes of us being able to rely on the Situational Trap. The behaviour which has offended us may have taken place earlier, in some instances days earlier and with plotting mind firing away, we avail ourselves of the opportunity to coerce you to go on a journey with us. It will undoubtedly be under some false pretence; a picnic, a drive to the coast, a trip to the shopping mall. Once you are in, the seat belt is on and the central locking clicks, then you are our prisoner.

The smile we wore fades in an instant and the fury which we have kept under control is now allowed to the surface. This enables us to draw fuel from your reactions, your pleading, your questioning, your puzzled expression, the fright in your eyes and such like. We may well have placed your bag in the boot which contains your ‘phone so you cannot call anybody. If you try to reach for your ‘phone, it will be snatched from you and thrown to one side, quite possibly from the moving vehicle as we ensure that you are isolated and trapped.

You cannot go anywhere. There is nobody to ask for help. You cannot move out of this confined space. Thus we have placed you in this Situation Trap which is allowing us to exert complete and utter control over you, enabling us to do as we please, for howsoever long we choose and accordingly, such total control is very much an outcome that we aim for.

When we have you to ourselves in this manner, so begins the unpleasant treatment which is all designed to ensure you remain subjected to our power and for you to give us fuel. There are many different ways we exert this when we have you trapped in the passenger seat besides us and these are some of those ways:-

  1. Driving at an excessive speed and/or recklessly;
  2. Slamming the brakes on causing you to jolt forward, then accelerating, then braking hard again, catapulting you back and forth;
  3. Braking hard when you are about to take a drink so it spills;
  4. Turning up the music extremely loud;
  5. Cross-examining you relentlessly about something you have done or not done;
  6. Administering a silent treatment;
  7. Telling you at the outset of the journey that we are going somewhere and then driving in a different direction or past the destination and refusing to explain where we are going;
  8. Assaulting you physically as we drive;
  9. Driving at night in an unlit area and switching the lights on and off;
  10. Swerving violently over the road, overtaking at dangerous places;
  11. Repeatedly insulting you;
  12. Shouting at you;
  13. Poking you as we question you.
  14. Driving into the middle of nowhere in silence, save for a baleful glare that we keep giving you;
  15. Threatening to drive us both off a cliff and heading towards such an area;
  16. Threatening to throw you from the car whilst it is moving;
  17. Circular conversations;
  18. Lengthy monologues about ourselves which have you bored to tears.

The effect of this behaviour will vary in intensity. Sometimes it is purely to frustrate you because we have not gone to the place that was promised. On other occasions it is to allow us to talk at you and question you so you are made to feel bored or uncomfortable. Then again, the nastiness and intimidation is increased whereby the intention is to terrify you and have you scared witless.

Having behaved in this manner and left you terrified, shaking and scared, we may well purposefully drive into an area where the traffic is slower and there are other cars around to test you to see if you try to escape us or attract attention from somebody else. We will be waiting for you to test our control and if you do, there will be further repercussions.

Repeated applications of this behaviour will eventually condition you to the point that you dread being told that

“We are going for a drive.”

Since you have come to know only too well that it is far more than just going for a drive. It is placing you in a cell right next to us, a cell from which you are unable to move or escape and thus we can apply our twisted machinations against you all in the name of fuel and further control.

You are trapped and it is to drive you insane.

6 thoughts on “Trapped : The Car

  1. Pingback: Fanget som passasjer i en bil - Psykopatene blant oss
  2. lickemtomorrow says:

    Some time ago I said I would come back to this article and post about my experiences.

    These relate to my father and my childhood. They also correlate with the article on heated fury. Which is why I wonder if my father was a narcissist, too.

    The first occasion I remember is when we were children and returning from a day at the beach. My parents had had an argument before we all got in the car to drive home. We were travelling back on a three lane highway, the middle lane of which was used for the purposes of overtaking. My father, in his heated fury, drove at top speed down the middle lane oblivious of any other drivers trying to overtake from the oncoming lane who had to dodge our car as he hurtled towards them. He had no regard for our safety. It was the first time I thought I was going to die.

    The second occasion was after another row with my mother which took place at our home. My father ordered my brother and I to get into the car. I knew he was angry, I knew he could be dangerous, and I didn’t know what he was going to do. My mother stood in the doorway and did not move to stop him. I was terrified, and at that stage old enough to be aware of parents who kill their children either in fits of rage or revenge. As a child you have no way of knowing what is possible. I felt I had no option but to get into the car. It was the second time I thought I was going to die.

    Another time while we were in the car he slammed on the brakes because he thought the driver behind was tailgating him. We were in the back seat. The other driver slammed into the rear of our car. Once again he had no regard for our safety and on that occasion we were thankfully for the most part unhurt, if not shaken up a little.

    The fear, the pleading, the sense of foreboding were all very real.

    Was it narcissism, and an element of heated fury? Reading this article inclines me to think so.

    The car is a very dangerous form of Situational Trap.

  3. Lisa jones says:

    I was never allowed to drive my own car unless I was driving home a drunk person. If I was to drive I was told I was trying to kill him. No other person ever had an issue with my driving. He would fall asleep at the wheel and rather than let me drive tell me it was my fault for not watching to make sure he was awake. This article does now explain a lot for me about the car. Definitely a weapon.

    1. A Victor says:

      Same, once he got my keys, very early on too, I was never allowed to drive with him along again, 24 years! Wish I would’ve listened to those who questioned it at the time.

  4. A Victor says:

    My ex was the worst driver ever for much of our marriage, it was terrifying. And, apparently, from this article, it was also intentional. This makes sense since he had it in him to be an exceptionally good and even cautious driver, as during the golden period.

    My mother used to talk at me in the car all the time. I dreaded trips anywhere with her.

  5. Julia says:

    I have been in this situation many times. Trips to the coast.. oh yes. Weekends away that just turned terrible.. awful.. and always on the way home. and I was already exhausted.. and I mean exhausted,so this was invariably a nightmare journey home. I dont even know what sparked them off.!!
    All I know was by the time I got back to his place i just wanted to get the fuck away from him.. invariably with him following me up and down his drive shouting “you fucking stupid bitch” as I was putting my bag and dog in my car.

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous article

The Narcissist´s Smirk