A Letter to the Narcissist : No. 31

 

I sit here with tears falling wondering why?
Why the lies? Why are you twisting the truth?
If I could go back to that moment at your house I would not say what I did, when you whispered in my ear you will regret that, something just changed. For the first tiime I feared you. I needed to know if what you said was true.
I remember the feeling that morning of betrayal, I knew you had seen the comment. How and why didn’t matter, yet it told me you were watching my every moment. I always knew yet never cared,  I loved you and had nothing to hide.
I sit here wondering why this girl whom I have never met or spoken to is telling *****I will sleep with her husband and your telling ****** I spend my money on pills, why?
Why is ****** messaging me telling me she is your girlfriend and you’re moving in together?
Why did you tell them I was abusing you? Why did you tell them I would your children, when all I have ever done was be there for you and them?
Why did you tell your mother she could no longer speak to me?
Why did you tell my employer I was a thief and violent?
Everytime I am turning around something else is happening.
******told me what you told them, I was stalking you and you feared for yours and your children’s life.
I came by once and sent one email, your reply was if I contacted you again you were calling the police.

I loved you, I trusted you.
Right now I don’t even know what to think.
My mind is a mess. I go to places we spent time at just to be with you. I sit on the pier watching the water remembering the last time we were there. I look at the things you gave me, the feather when we were hunting, and the time we found the fawn. I can’t stop the tears, I walk in the woods at night wishing something anything would come and kill the pain, the tears fall. I can’t stop them. Why? Why? My pillow is drenched and stained. I feel like I am drowning in the pain.

I found out today I have something to look forward to, I have to go on yet a part of me always belongs to you….

4 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist : No. 31

  1. Asp Emp says:

    This is a good letter, thank you for sharing it.

  2. A Victor says:

    What a bittersweet letter. Heart-wrenching and exactly where I am at this time. It helps to know others have been here and survived, thank you to Twilight for sharing. I am wanting that part back from him right now but realize it is not possible. Therefore, it is going forward with this knowledge that must happen, and, going forward is the only option. I am fighting that right now, there has to be another way. Damn him.

  3. Lee says:

    I will not allow this to be me. Getting out NOW. Thank GOD i found this site.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

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