The Problem With the Hollow Victory
6 thoughts on “The Problem With the Hollow Victory”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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I’m still wrapping my head around an empath wanting revenge….. 😳
Kayla, I am with you on that, I just want to never see them again.
Very important addressing this matter.
It’s like the slot machine in Vegas or the lottery. We keep trying to win back our hitherto investment and also attempt to plus that by winning big profit.
To sort of, win back lost invested time, all the months or years, trying to alter the narcissist. “Make him empathic” Make all the suffering worthwhile.
But in reality we can only cut our losses. Through NC. The narc is unchangeable.
Though there is a way to make a little bit of those years of suffering narc abuse worthwhile, IMO.
Because without it I wouldn’t have come here, looking for sound good advice, which I can pass on as warning to e g teenagers. Saving future for someone.
I can understand why an empath’s emotional thinking would prevent a successful ‘no contact regime’.
When I had my supanova (or massive anger & long explosion) – I stayed away. Even then, the people I worked with were told not to have any contact with me. These ‘instructions’ come from unaware narcissists – this is one the thing that gives the impression that the lower echelons (Lesser / MR narcissists) do know what they are!
For the first few months, I still “cared” and around once a month I’d get a message that was not ‘readable’. I didn’t ask anyone how he was etc.
Once I joined KTN, I’d started ‘deflecting’ as soon as his name (and others) were mentioned. I stopped caring about ‘them’ a long time ago.
The persons who kept mentioning the names of the narcissists are the ones that also need to know more about narcissism to be able to understand what ‘No Contact Regime’ is. They may be well meaning friends yet they do not realise that they could be affecting the emotional thinking of the individual (ie me) yet by my ‘deflecting’ I am not responding with my emotional thinking. This is one instance where it is a ‘Catch 22’ situation – the well meaning friends not knowing enough about narcissism and the same ones are, in some way, ‘freaking out’ when I mention HG’s work and KTN site!
So, yes, it is ‘a hollow victory’ in some way, yet, for me, it isn’t because I have no interest in the narcissists of my past.
Another good video of inspiration & empowerment from HG.
Even though it feels hollow, it’s not hollow in the sense that we get ourselves back.