You Are Being Conned
Once upon a time. The Princess and the Pea. Prince Charming. Snow White. Pretty Woman. Barbie and Ken. The Waltons. Hug you from behind. Breakfast in bed. Picking you up in the rain. Glimpsing you from a train and running after you. The Fabulous Baker Boys. Roman Holiday. Bouquets. Surrounded by your loving family as you pass away. Snow at Christmas. Remembered birthdays. The Little House on the Prairie. Beauty and the Beast. A Room With a View. City breaks.
Walking in the foam. Holding hands. Growing old together. Gone With the Wind. The white knight. Crazy For You. The Passion. Spooning in bed. Monogamy. Rosanna. Love Me Tender. Truly Madly Deeply. A candlelit bath. The Best. Gift on the pillow. Save the Best For Last. Impromptu lunch.
Dancing cheek to cheek. Someday my prince will come. Red roses. White roses. Opening doors. Up Where We Belong. Romeo and Juliet. Holding your hair. You’re the First, My Last, My Everything. Writing ‘I Love You’ in the steamed up mirror. Endless Love. I Think I Love You. Dedicating a song on the radio.
Father Figure. The Power of Love. Fairytale wedding. Carved initials on a tree inside a heart. Giving you the last Rolo. Love conquers all. Love will save the day. Love’s young dream. Love is a many splendored thing. Writing poems. Love notes in a lunch box. A message in the sand. Till death do us part. Together forever. Bright young things. Never Tear Us Apart. Soulmate. Other half. My Heart Will Go On. Bridget Jones’ Diary. I’ll Stand By You. Children. A Whole New World. Paris in the spring time.
Lazing in a hammock together. A log cabin by the lake. The Notebook. The Spider man kiss. Notting Hill. Rose and Jack. Letting you sleep in. Bella and Edward. Latika and Jamal. Dirty Dancing. Leading the dancing. Remembering anniversaries. In sickness and in health. When Harry Met Sally. Synchronised orgasms. Sex in the morning. Sex in the evening. Still having sex after all these years. Fidelity. Eyes only for you. An Officer and a Gentleman. Isla and Rick. Letting you first. Knowing you hate spiders. Viola and William. Stardust. Walking in the snow together.
Walking through leaves together. Edward Scissorhands. Just the Way You Are. My Girl. Annie’s Song. Matching tattoos. Wearing a wedding band. I Will Always Love You. When a Man Loves a Woman. I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing. Love is blind. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The perfect match. Our love is predestined. It was written in the stars above. Love at first sight. Mr/Mrs Right.
“My one and only,” “man/woman of my dreams,” “match made in heaven,” “love of my life,” “my true love,” “made for each,” “my perfect match,” “I met the love of my life,” “I knew this was the one.” “We were meant for each other.” “instant connection,” “clicked right away,” “chemistry at first sight,” “hit it off right away,” “experienced immediate attraction,” “instant rapport,” “completely hit it off,” “it was magical,” “you put a spell on me” .
Love is a river that drowns the tender reed. The perfect house. The country idyll. Home is where the heart is. Wuthering Heights. Jayne Eyre. Twilight. The Hunger Games. Gabriel’s Inferno. Water for Elephants. Warming the bed first. Investigating a bump in the night. Holding you during a storm. Never being taken for granted. Perfection. Having it all. The Happy Ever After.
False promises and unrealistic ideals created by them.
A gateway to the false promised land, to the unrealistic ideal life offered and exploited by us.
Resorting to self-destructive and addictive behaviours in order to compensate for these failings and disappointments by becoming entangled with us again and again and again.
That’s you.
Who is to blame?
4 thoughts on “You Are Being Conned”
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Also:
Four Weddings and a Funeral
WH Auden’s poem “Funeral Blues”
Bright Star (a film by Jane Campion), my bloody life story: grieveing for my first love for years on end (he died over 25 years ago) until I met narcex, and last year when I arrived here and realised that first love had most certainly been a narcissist.
But he had held me in his arms while I was being sick down the toilet. Wasn’t that just proof that he loved me?! Never mind the looong silent treatment afterwards when I dared to say ‘no’ to something!
This is powerful. Glad to have the article to read, in addition to the video, the written form makes the last 5 sentences easier for me to follow.
“A gateway to the false promised land, to the unrealistic ideal life offered and exploited by us. Resorting to self-destructive and addictive behaviours in order to compensate for these failings and disappointments by becoming entangled with us again and again and again. That’s you. Who is to blame?”
Hang on a second. Is this a fair question to ask people who lack knowledge & understanding about narcissism, never mind be aware of it’s existence?
With what I have learned up to date and reading the copied & pasted part of this article – even now, I would state that an empath still would not necessarily realise that they are ‘entangled’ with a narcissist. Yet a normal would not continue (let alone, stand for it). I would, however, sign-post anyone to KTN site should I become aware of someone who may be stuck in such a relationship (whether romance, family or work).
Narcissist would be the most magical of all humans if the mask never fell off and the golden period never ended. For the rest of us some of those magical things do happen and last. For the luckiest of us… a lifetime. 🤪