HG Podcast Interview


I was recently interviewed for the Ebby Online Podcast.

You may listen here

53 thoughts on “HG Podcast Interview

  1. MB says:

    HG sparkled like glitter in this interview!✨✨✨

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you MB.

  2. JB says:

    This was excellent, HG. I had no idea that normals may appear to show limited emotional empathy, but only because you aren’t one of their close group. I always thought that anybody who appeared to have little emotional empathy was cold, and therefore probably a narcissist – one of the few areas where I have black and white thinking! It’s reassuring to know that it isn’t as black and white as that, as there have been people in my life that I have worried about, thinking they might be narcissists because they show little emotional empathy towards strangers, but what you have said makes sense – they aren’t narcissists, they just have a more limited supply of emotional empathy compared with that of an empath.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Glad you found it useful.

      1. JB says:

        I find everything you write useful, HG!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I am pleased to see that because everything I write IS useful!

    2. Sweetest Perfection says:

      Yes, JB, I didn’t know normals could be such asses. This was a revelation.

      1. Eternity says:

        Same here SP, now there is more to add to the list. It keeps getting longer but the minute. Today I met another Moran. WTF do I have something written on my face.

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          They are attracted to the light, like moths.

        2. Asp Emp says:

          Eternity…. that made me laugh ‘moron’…… it reminded me of an incident earlier today – I’d been shopping and was putting it in the boot of my car – some guy in a car drives past and really looks at me – I was like WTF, brushed it off as ‘watch where you’re driving’ sort of indifference. I’d forgotten all about it by the time I started driving back home. Ah, the power. It was not as if my tits were hanging out either! It was a full length, decent summer dress…..almost white one LOL.

  3. SParham says:

    “The end of the tether” Well said 👏. Do you suck at anything HG? This was another nice interview. Romantic relationships that result from online connection are interesting to say the least. I’ve designed lots of wedding arrangements for the happy couples. I cringe when I hear the “we dated in high-school and now we’re back together” after 30 years line. In just a couple of years many are done and on to the next one. The timeframe of 6 to 18 months of golden treatment is spot on just by my observations. Simply meeting friends poses risks. I watched three creators that were bffs online. When they met in person it turned into a hatefest. I’m all for don’t meet anyone online and for goodness sake stop with the nudes. This and sexting must be popular as I hear it come up a lot. I’m a prude empath. 😁

  4. fox says:

    I enjoyed listening to this even though I’m not on the market, haha. Excellent interview, HG!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Fox

      (The Aggro Index stands at 0.55%)

  5. laughing tyger says:

    I am so Thankful to HG ……. He has changed my life. THANK YOU… I am Happy to be a part of his Legacy TYGER IS HERE

  6. December Infinity says:

    I enjoyed listening this podcast. Well done!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

  7. BC30 says:

    The story about being locked in the bathroom was frightening. Although she didn’t (or didn’t share about it) It seems many women*, if not most, have submitted to sex acts to escape physical harm at one time or another.

    *Women, not children. Children cannot consent, even under duress. I am not entirely excluding men as possible victims, but limiting this observation to women due to gender and social dynamics.

    1. A Victor says:

      Yes, add to that those who gave been injured by sex acts and things can look very ugly indeed. I think the numbers drop drastically for sex between combinations of normals and empaths, so hopefully the numbers aren’t as high as we might think.

      I think a woman submitting under threat of injury is not actual consent, I would see that as rape.

      These things show me more and more the way narcissists view us, to use any way they wish with no regard for it bodies or our emotions.

  8. Witch says:

    “I’ll put an order into Waitrose this very minute”

    I’m creasing 🤣🤣🤣
    You sly dawg

  9. Witch says:

    I’m still listening to the podcast.
    I don’t know how anyone can cope as the secondary source … if I’m not your girlfriend by 3 months max, I’m fucking someone else lol
    I don’t have that kind of patience

  10. Asp Emp says:

    Can I just clarify something ? Did HG say “coconuts” early on in this interview? That is what came up during the transcription.

    Interesting to read that, as a child, you wanted the same ‘reaction’ from people that you observed your mother to get from others who were around.

    I had wondered for some time in relation to whether narcissism can ‘skip’ a generation as you explained in this video. This is a key piece of information that would help others understand more about where the narcissism GPD can derive from and how it can seemingly to ‘disappear’ within the chain of DNA from ancestors to descendants. My sister explained similar in relation to deafness in the family, the generation where my parents were in – nobody was deaf – so effectively, it did ‘skip’, yet the DNA was ‘carried’ through.

    I have a very strong feeling that the narcissism is from my mother’s paternal side of the family but as I have shared previously, I am not aware of it in my grandfather (I was 10 when he died). He was not ‘aggressive’ towards his grandchildren because they were too young and were still ‘innocents’, effectively giving positive and unchallenging ‘fuel’ (an innocent child’s ‘love’). Having said that, my grandfather used to say things that caused my father to get really upset (angry) – so maybe my father was enraged at my grandfather’s narcissist BS?

    “I’ve spent a lot of time in and around my kind”…that’s right, ‘maul’ them over! (laughing).

    “the red flags of fluttering left right and centre” – I liked that, “fluttering”.

    “society prefers to see women as empathic, nurturing, motherly” – shows how the ‘perceptions’ of society have remained unchanged for far too long. In some way, I think when it comes out that a lot of mothers being narcissists (non-nurturing / empathic / motherly), can come as a ‘shock’, ie when I spoke to people about ‘her’ in the past, even more so when I said “I hated her”. A bit of a ‘catch 22’ – because by my saying that, it can mislead people to assume that I am the narcissist, not mother (supported by your explanation about eroded empathy).

    RE: about borderlines – I am reminded of someone who said to me “they cannot help it because of their ‘condition’” (referring to a diagnosis and the ‘characteristics’). Now, I did not believe it at the time because of the learning I had done up to date on narcissism. I recognised some of the ‘behaviours’ – of a Lesser, also because of the emotional intelligence level, some aggressiveness, the violence and used to getting their way all the time (spoilt / smothered as a child).

    (41:13) “the narcissism operates in the same way that it looks to conserve our energy so anything that enables us to get those prime aims in the easiest way possible” – this can give the impression that a narcissist is being ‘lazy’ in ie work situations, or at home – let’s say a shelf needed to be put up, the narcissist may say “well, you can do it”, or “I can’t do it now” so that either way they are asserting their control, or deflecting to avoid responsibility.

    When it comes to using the same ‘pick-up’ lines, it can give the impression that the narcissist, again, is being ‘lazy’ or not having the ‘ability’ to use their mind to think of something else to say instead, rather than repeat the same old.

    The faster the awareness of narcissism and it’s affects on victims is increased / spread around, the better. There are more dating sites available, the more victims being ensnared, the more damage it causes in mental and emotional health. The people at the “top” need to do more, oh, wait, many of them in ‘power’ may actually be the very ‘perpetrators / predators’ – ah, massive problem here. How do we get round this? By reaching the people at the ‘bottom’, leading to ‘people power’ rather than ‘political power’. Let the people vote. Let the people speak up. One main reason why KTN exists (in my view).

    Wow. To learn that there are “time wasting normals”. I’ll keep that in mind, not that I plan to join ‘dating’ sites.

    “you might have dinner somewhere but it’s out of the way so nobody sees you” – that is now apparent to me, at the time I assumed it was because it’s a change from going somewhere locally, giving the impression that “creating new memories” in a place that would become “special”. Yeah, right, “special”, my ass. This is something that contributed to the thinking / feeling ‘worthless’ as part of when I started learning about narcissism on KTN site.

    “you really are an afterthought” – that is exactly what I said to MRN, how he was treating me. Ah, this empath instinctively knew, all along.

    (60:52) “I’m a firm advocate of entertaining education that if you are entertained whilst you’re learning about all of this will stick in your heads for much longer and you’ll make better use of it” – this is one of the things I noticed what I started looking into narcissism / empaths and contributed to my decision to join KTN site. I found (I won’t name here) a couple of sites of information but found them boring, too clinical – not from a scientific view, just no warmth, no humour, I just could not ‘relate’.

    “a rather keen sense of humour” – that is surely an understatement, HG.

    There it is, LOL, “knocksite.com” (61:17), ah, no! LOL.

    Where you, HG, suggest people to wait until lockdown is lifted and meet others in natural environments, rather than online – absolutely. Those who started on the journey of learning on KTN and not joining dating sites during lockdown would have benefited more by just concentrating on gaining knowledge about narcissism instead. This is exactly what I did. While the lockdowns were a blessing for some, it was a curse for others.

    This interview was as entertaining as usual, containing some of the wittiness (deriving a giggle or two from me). I learned a couple of new things through this interview, proving the point that people can learn new things as they progress through life. Life’s learning never stops – especially where narcissism is concerned.

    Thank you for this, HG. Apologies for the long comment.

    Can I just ask, hypothetically – with regard to empaths (A) *who have an addiction to narcissism* – are they likely to be the ones who’d assume that the person (B) is not interested in them (the empath – A) if it is ie another empath (B) (with no addiction to narcissism) or a normal (B) who was going to call to arrange another date, yet they (A) do not hear from them (B)?

    *who have an addiction to narcissism* – possibly more likely with individuals who have more ‘conditions’ ie comorbidity / complexity of characteristics.

  11. Chihuahuamum says:

    Funny i went to listen to the podcast last night in privacy and it came on over my daughter’s google speaker lol! I didn’t know how to stop it 😆 I’m not sure what happened. I’ll have a listen today 😁

  12. Sweetest Perfection says:

    Oh, I forgot the quote of all quotes: “NOBODY SEES US THE FIRST TIME.” Jolly good.

    1. Asp Emp says:

      SP, your comment made me giggle.

    2. Delicious Peeps says:

      Do you think it’s possible that a child of a narcissist or someone who is aware from another person’s experience could warn someone?

      1. A Victor says:

        Hi DP, as a child of a narcissist, two in fact, my experience was one of knowing absolutely nothing about what was going on or why things had happened to me. So instead of warning anyone I processed to marry another narcissist and then spend a decade alone after he left, certain I was a failure at relationships. Possibly someone who witnessed my marriage could’ve seem something and used it to warn others. But my ex’s facade was extremely good so probably not. The onlooker might have actually thought I was the problem. I can’t soak for anyone else but this had been my experience.

        1. A Victor says:

          Sorry for all the typos!

  13. Sweetest Perfection says:

    This was an entertaining interview, even though HG has addressed this same topic in many previous interviews and that the answers to most of the interviewer’s questions could be found in some of HG’s articles, like “The Virtual Fuel Matrix,” “The Online Empathic Target,” “The Rules of the Online Narcissist,” “The Narcissist Online: The Somatic,” “The 20 Rules of the Social Media Narcissist” and, last but not least, my favorite: “10 Social Media Mind Games.” Likewise, her question about the narcissist’s criteria to select victims is sufficiently answered in Sitting Target, among other texts and videos. The interviewer’s candid praise of HG’s excellent writing and sense of humor made the interview very down to earth and resonate with all of us (don’t we all love HG’s masterful writing and his sense of humor?). Her last question was too personal and a little unprofessional, apart from describing an awkward situation with a sociopath? Narcissist? Narcissist sociopath? who, in her account, kept her locked in his bathroom and later on accused her of stealing a watch from him, which doesn’t seem enough of a red flag for the interviewer to maintain a “friendship” with this person. The irony resides in the fact that, after entitling the interview “Online Dating” and focusing on the dangers of online dating and narcissists, the interviewer wraps up the interview by asking Mr. Tudor, THE NARCISSIST par excellence, how to reach him, with the consequent listing of all the social media and online platforms where he can be contacted. I know it is for professional consultation, but oh the irony.
    My unforgettable moment during the whole interview: HG’s explanation of the labeling of Borderline as a product of gender biased systemic structures of stereotypical gender roles in which narcissism is commonly paired with images of Alpha-males with a social stigma as being muscle flexing, Patrick Bateman types, while women are stereotyped as “empathic, nurturing, and motherly” OH.MY FEMINIST. GOD. Right now all the feminist commenters in the blog are dreaming of you. Feminist is sexy https://images.app.goo.gl/jmybTBwNgqha8W5E6

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you for your observations SP, I am pleased you found it entertaining and well done on being able to pinpoint the relevant articles and books which covers some of the matters touched on. I understand your point about talking about the dangers of online dating and then contacting me in an online environment although of course the majority of people contact me for professional reasons and are not looking for a date (although there are some exceptions!). The borderline observation is driven by a gender bias on the basis identified and I thought this would resonate with you. Thank you for listening.

      1. Kiki says:

        HG what do you think of that guy Jordan Peterson.
        Someone recommended to listen to him I nearly choked .
        Sounds like a narcissist through and through but maybe I’m wrong and looking at it from social media’s bias perspective.


        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are not incorrect.

      2. Contagious says:

        I agree in that the BPD in a rage has no empathy. They are also manipulative, selfish, cruel and broken. BUT narcs aren’t typically suicidal so does not the 11% death rate from suicide make them different?

    2. Witch says:

      Is the Ryan gosling quote serious or satire ?
      Did he actually say that?

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        Witch, that was a series of funny memes that became very popular a few rears ago. It is a parody but I love a sexy feminist man.

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          Oops years. Clumsy fingers…

        2. Witch says:

          I was about to say… that sounds like something a moist middle mid ranger wet wipe would say to try and get in someone’s bloomers

    3. ElizaDoNotLockMeInYourBathroom says:

      The being locked in his bathroom and then the watch accusation !!!

      Lions ! and Tigers !and Bears ! Oh My !!

      Good grief, if that wasnt a Raging House Burning Down Red Flag of OMG !!!

      The BDSM thing is such a puzzle to me. I love a strong Alpha Male, but the “control” thing outside of the bedroom is no fun to live with.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        I may be wrong but the mentioning of the BDSM sounded like the interviewer’s attempt to catch HG’s attention. Nothing to judge of course.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I agree with you SP.

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            It must be tiring to be irresistible.

    4. JB says:

      Yes, I think HG’s spot on there, about how society classifies men and women differently in this area. I know of a woman who has been diagnosed as having borderline personality, and she fits all of the narcissist criteria perfectly. I do question whether the same behaviours would have been viewed quite so sympathetically had she been male! It also appears to me that borderline personality is viewed much more sympathetically than narcissism, yet to me the behaviours are so similar..it’s bizarre!

  14. A Victor says:

    This also explained what the beginning of a normal, healthy relationship should look like, that was very interesting!

    1. Eternity says:

      A Victor , I completely agree with you. I honestly didn’t even think about the reaction of the Normal’s but, it makes sense ,that since they don’t know you they don’t have an Emotional Empathy. Also in terms of healthy relationship I know what to look out for. Bottom line is stay away from online dating and meet people in a natural setting and environment. I enjoyed this interview.

    2. Violetta says:

      I need to listen to this, then. I don’t know much about those.

      1. A Victor says:

        Same, everything I know about them I have learned here! I find that so sad! But happy to have learned it here! It’s so foreign to me if it ever happens I’ll probably have to check every conversation out with HG to make sure it’s happening correctly!

  15. Asp Emp says:

    HG, I am enjoying this interview and I hope you don’t mind – I am attaching the link to the video if people rely on using ‘Live Caption’ facility so they can read the words to support hearing the spoken words.

    I will comment on the interview when I have finished reading it. Thank you, HG, much love 🙂

    1. BC30 says:

      So thoughtful. 😊

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Ta BC30 🙂

    2. Lonerose99 says:

      Thanks for this, as I don’t have Spotify on my device to hear the podcast. 👍🙂

      1. Asp Emp says:

        LR99, glad it helped you 🙂

    3. JB says:

      Asp Emp, thanks for this. I actually couldn’t get the original link to work, so it was great to have this alternative!

      1. Asp Emp says:

        JB, thank you, glad you found it beneficial to you 🙂

  16. A Victor says:

    This was very interesting, especially about the online dating! It expanded on a lot of the reasons why it is so dangerous. Thank you for sharing this here HG.

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