Evil : Imagine Greater
You put yourselves into the position of others. We put others into ourselves. You do it as a matter of choice in order to fulfil one of the roles you see for yourselves. Admittedly, you are struck by a considerable compulsion but you still retain the ability to decide if you will do so. We do not. We must do it. We have no choice if we wish to survive. I would invite you to exercise that ability of yours.
Imagine being wounded by the words and actions of others. Imagine that injurious sensation arising because of the deliberate and treacherous behaviour of someone who we have come to rely on. From minion to colleague, from friend to lover, the slight that is occasioned by them stings, hurts and pains. Imagine suffering that agony even if the transgressor claims not to have intended such injury and pleads innocence of all wrongdoing. Imagine that you recognise that they are right in their protestation but it still does not take away what they have done.
Imagine being of ability, brilliance and talent yet within an instant being laid low by the turn of the back or the failure of acknowledgement. Imagine being beholden to such a tortuous response and hating being chained in this way. Imagine the desire to rail against the offender, mocking them for their shortcomings, their pale comparison and diminished abilities yet that same pathetic specimen has the ability to wound in such a grievous manner. Imagine the shame of despising that individual for their behaviour yet knowing that in their hands they hold such a power. Imagine those moments of genuine horror when it is contemplated that if that competitor only realised what they could truly do and that the consignment to oblivion might be moments away.
Imagine the anguish of knowing that your well-being and capacity to function is reliant on a whole host of others who have no inkling as to the part they play. Imagine how such ignorance is regarded as a blessing and that each and every day, thanks is given that they remain shrouded in such ignorance for if they became armed with knowledge, what destruction they might wreak. Imagine knowing you are chained to the one thing that generates such contempt and bilious hatred, the need to strain against those binding chains until they split, rupture and fall away with the arrival of another. Imagine the hope, the expectation and the desire for the new arrival to prove to be the saviour. Imagine always searching for that one true acolyte that will remove the ills, eradicate the risk of annihilation and instead will prevent the necessity of the imposition of those heavy oh so heavy chains. Imagine the fervent endeavour to acquire that new arrival and the sense of delicious anticipation as they begin to function in accordance with the expected and hoped for desire.
Imagine the soaring power that arises from this saviour, the promised one, the perfect one. Imagine that sense of surging, blazing power, the sweeping majesty of knowing that the needs are now catered for, that all is and will be well, that function and form can rely on this spectacular provision. Imagine the possibilities as being super-charged from this significant, this most significant other and that worlds will collide, empires will rise and the intended endless dynasty will be created.
Imagine the horror, the disappointment, the envy and the fury as that perfect one turns out to be a seditious charlatan who has lied, conned and connived. Imagine the incandescent rage that seeks escape. Imagine knowing of the consequences of such treachery and the reckless application of such blind fury. Imagine knowing that control must be exerted in order to preserve so much that has been built. Imagine straining to keep the beast within its confined place, the shackles so perfectly formed and seemingly impervious to weakness or fragility that now appear weak, rusted and not fit for purpose. Imagine the contemplation of becoming nothing. Imagine that which you wish the world to see being steadily dismantled and by a traitor’s hand. Imagine the sense of injustice, unfairness and bitterness to be undone by the very thing which promised the ultimate salvation. Imagine hearing that craven whisper that signifies that which should not be entertained or occasioned. Imagine the icy terror of that mocking, lisping voice and the frantic need to silence it. Imagine the whirlwind of necessity to rebuild, to acquire and to conquer once again. Imagine the Herculean effort required to reassert one’s place in this cruel and feckless world.
Imagine in such times of being reminded of what once was and what you swore would never be again. That which you have sought to bury deep and keep buried, locked away, hidden and rarely contemplated. Imagine the tormentors that come like shades to pull and drag towards that time again. That time which ought to have been banished yet still somehow rises time and time again. Imagine trying to bury it dead but knowing it will not allow this and instead when the obscene and scandalous plans of our opponents, our competitors and our enemies weaken that which ought not be seen as weak, that the corpse breathes once again and seeks to rise, its fetid words travelling from near-forgotten times to resurrect them and bring us down.
Imagine striking out left, right and centre in order to bring control and order back. Imagine that it can only be from the external chaos that order is enforced within and that the suffering of others is the glue, the mortar and the binding which creates that prison once more. Imagine reliance on the agony and suffering to re-build and re-create so that the voice is silenced and decorum established once more.
Imagine that whirring mind which must always assess, evaluate and calculate. Planning, plotting and scheming. A marvellous frenzied activity which devises and develops in order to always drive forward. Imagine knowing that stillness is not an option. Imagine the knowledge that taking such a step would only result in that slow descent and instead momentum is required at all times, onwards, upwards, forwards with never a backward glance, a moment of retrospect or the time to pause and consider. Always consuming, always extracting, always gathering, garnering, purloining, taking, sucking, draining, hunting, claiming, conquering. A ceaseless behemoth that draws the light from stars, the good from the benevolent, the love from the decent and the soul from everything. Imagine that and so, so much more.
Can you imagine it?
Can you be it.
I can.
I have to.
11 thoughts on “Evil : Imagine Greater”
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HG,
I just listened to this on YouTube. I’m tired, pleasantly tired, so for once my mind was relatively empty. I just drifted along with the sound of your voice. I think I finally worked out what the lisping voice of the creature really represents.
Repeated admiration, physical, intellectual and material would build confidence and make an individual believe that anything is possible, with no limits as to what they can achieve. Empires can and will rise. Without the admiration, when it is withdrawn through wounding or reduced through complacency, then the creature almost immediately makes its presence felt. I think it’s self doubt that is felt, generated from within as a result of the individual being told repeatedly that they just weren’t quite good enough or, being made to feel worthless through abuse or neglect. Self doubt would cause a collapse of the false self and with it, everything that had been built and achieved to date.
That’s what I imagine when I listen. The creature represents self doubt. Is that correct?
So many comments below are so relatable and so much of what you say is so clear and a reminder of the creature within! Or… is it just a pity play?! Nope cannot be as the greater does not use them, so I’ll go with the creature. Empaths have addictions needs and creatures too. The main differences is that once shown and exposed they have a choice you do not because the wiring in your brain prohibits it. Ours are indeed wired in a direction but that direction has choice and mutability. With the exception of the doormat empath- the co dependent we can and do increase narcissistic traits when needed. We can and do respond to awareness and education. Our creatures are more mild banal and less malevolent and of course easier to reach, mold and let go of. That seems to be a main difference. We do have range of emotions including empathy, and a choice on how and when we access them. We do not need control because we are not controlled by our demons. It would be wonderful if narcissists did not need to sow chaos and destruction because in many cases they are so(w) very valuable to the evolution of humanity, science, art and industry as are many empaths. Because you have helped me and others see the truth (again ironic given the propensity for abject lying!) I will thank you. But because you want neither help, pity nor change I will acknowledge you as you are without trying to employ empathy, healing or change. HG I envy, despise, fear you as much as you envy etc. me…not at all. And thus, free of judgement, we are equal in this world!
And yes … only then will I cry for you.
To the end.
“My” dear narcissist. I absorb your suffering. I can do it. You charge me but …
“My” dear narcissist. You absorb my suffering. You throw it into the trash with satisfaction. You know it makes me feel light? Thank you.
Your treatment is very brutal and it hurts. But it helps me.
My treatment is mild and it hurts you a lot more. Do you want salvation without pain?
You show me your darkness. You spit out the worst secrets. The less I react, the more you want to shock me.
Do you realize how much I know about you?
If I only wanted to … but you know I won’t. You are glad to be a silent partner in your crimes. You wait for me to finally get infected, and finally admit that you are right.
Should I not contact you? I never do that. You are contacting me.
Should I protect myself and escape by blocking everything? No. It is you who will run away … as usual.
But I’m here. And I’ll be. Even if you kill me – the smile will not fade away.
You can wipe me out of my mind, right? But, when you’re alone, in those awful moments – remember that damned good-natured, caring smile of mine?
I am not your silent partner. I am your salvation.
Find another way or die.
This is not the domain of the narcissist. This is the domain of the thinking man.
It is easier for those who think less …
We can’t turn heads for comparison, but a thinking empath faces a similar whirling mind. He processes, segregates, tries to arrange, close, forget, erase, explain, justify, modify, pretend, soothe, soothe, soothe, heal, not only his own thought processes, but all the evil that comes from outside.
My sister tells me that she is arguing with her husband. Someone is poisoning her pigeons. He’s having a bad time. She’s sad. I’m worried. It burns me out.
A colleague at work is frustrated by over-ambition. I listen to him, cheer him up, and soothe him.
Some motherfucker shot the dog in the eye, then shot the whole body 30 more times. I feel his torment and suffering, I would like to protect and love this dog so much. Punish the perpetrator – make him feel this suffering. I know, it’s impossible. Well, let them at least limit his freedom.
I’m losing my strength.
Two men raped a young girl in the basement for 3 days and finally gouged out her eyes. She survived. Terrible comments under the article.
I can feel it, I can feel it. I’m weakening, I would like to heal her so much, take some of the pain on myself.
40 years ago my father killed himself. What did you feel then, dad? I don’t remember you, I was little but I still feel your pain …
Evil, suffering.
Evil, suffering.
Evil, suffering.
Envy, stupidity, emptiness.
They are everywhere, they pour over this wonderful world and try to taint it.
I have to shut down. Sometimes I prefer not to know. I try to selfishly focus on myself and my daughter. On the immediate family and surroundings.
Otherwise it will be after me.
Sometimes I’m on the verge of madness …
Do I have a choice? I can’t otherwise …
Someone take my head … I will gladly swap …
No … but not! I will not give back. I will not give up. I will look evil straight in the eye and smile calmly. I will radiate it all. I will watch it melt.
Good is more powerful. I know it.
Yes, phew, it’s okay now, I felt that strength again. To work!
I like when people around me laugh carelessly. I will charm them soon 🙂
It takes so little 🙂
Brilliant expression and sooo damn relatable
‘We can’t turn heads for comparison, but a thinking empath faces a similar whirling mind. He processes, segregates, tries to arrange, close, forget, erase, explain, justify, modify, pretend, soothe, soothe, soothe, heal, not only his own thought processes, but all the evil that comes from outside.’
So very true…
Tough day? Take care.
Everything will be OK. Maybe not great or ultra but it just might be OK. Maybe Mediocre and possibly Blah but not as you speak of in a place of perpetual fire beneath the earth. My heart hopes not at least. I’m afraid Eckhart Tolle might be hoovering me with triangulation again.
Listen to this supposedly, Control is achieved in between Ego, Meditation and Awareness. There could be something else but he has everything so twisted I’m probably not thinking with my emotions. All of you bastards have dirty filthy tricks. Always fucking with everything thats left or maybe what’s right in between our heads.. Jesus where is Pete?
Hope all is well HG. Thank you for dedicating your life and sharing your Ultra work. We are all pieces that will always belong under the control of you, to be you, that does not & will not change Ever. There’s going to be so many minions you might want to disengage from the lower of the lesser desirable prime aims.
Quod est superius est sicut quod inferius, et quod inferius est sicut quod est superius.
You are a good writer and paint a vivid picture.
Yes I can walk with you and imagine this. It may be easier for one who does so with each evil character created. I have to walk in their darkness – to feel and experience all they do. My hero can only be as great as the evil they fight. I also have to be every victim of them – live through their experiences. So as I read, I am also very aware of the other side to this struggle and need.
My thoughts turn to the bible (nope not a religious person – but one who can appreciate it is just like any other philosophy).
The sins of the father passed to their children. Some think it is god punishing children for the actions of their parents – I do not see it this way. Some might argue psychopaths are born and sociopaths are made.
Sodom was apparently destroyed for its sins of rape and murder – but so too was all. Considered guilty for standing by and allowing these things to happen. (Not that I think God will come and destroy us), yet each abused child would have had people who saw – people who looked the other way. Our society has become complicit in so much. Social services are at breaking point and there are not enough foster families. No political will to do anything. Are we all responsible for the rise of the narcissist?
Yet I am no hero – of this I am only too aware. I have withdrawn – for now at least –
Something I started to write a few days ago=
I am not here
I built a tower,
Way up high.
But I am not here,
I have forgotten how to fly
In the shadows,
Alone I will cry.
But I am not here
I have forgotten how to fly.
From way up high,
I watch you struggle and try.
But I am not here
I have forgotten how to fly
This is so accurate to me, right now this very minute and yes I can imagine. I didn’t know what to imagine and now, this rainy summer evening, thanks to the words so comprehensively written, I get it.
Now finally I understand the actions of my ex. He was aware of his lifelong misery and therefore he was unable to accept my request for freedom. He couldn’t explain to me but I saw or better say felt, sensed he had the answers. I felt like his choice to keep the truth from me was a cruel act..Now I know he just hoped that my ignorance would be his lifeline. I feel an understanding and also respect for him since I can imagine. And to live to survive with the incomparable pain, fear and stress as described in this post is a unimaginable life exploit, achievement and company.
It is a terror knowing that the implementation of this in him is for life. And no matter what he will do it is not going to be any salvation from me or anyone.
I can imagine, I understand, yet sorrow is the feeling, not relief because I find it difficult to accept the unfairness of whom of the people on this planet this may hit. And whoever becomes a narcissist never deserves it.
Thank you for this to me deep and necessary post. For me, right now this day, the words meaning in the post truly met my need for knowledge.
Thank you so much. It makes a huge difference in a positive way though, as I already mentioned, it is a extremely saddening truth.
The creature within the creature.
These things walk around during the day and act like normal people much of the time.
Chilling.