Forever on the Fake
Fakery, fabrication and lies are the bricks and mortar of our existence. They are the bread and butter that enable us to have sustenance. I know that when you look back at the golden period you always struggle to understand that it was not real. You cannot fathom out how something that felt so right, so true and so real could actually be something so false.
Our behaviour seemed so genuine. Our declarations of undying love so moving and emotive, how could this be a façade? Yes you thought occasionally that we were a little over the top but you found that endearing. The reason it seemed so genuine is because our performance was so convincing. This performance was of such a high calibre owing to two things.
The first because we have practised repeatedly and we possess experienced ease at mimicking the behaviour of others. We have done it so often and to so many people we do it without thinking. And there is the neat segue into the second reason. We do it without thinking because we believe it to be absolutely the right thing to do. We are not concerned that we are exhibiting a false front to you. We are not troubled by the fact that all our smiles, kisses and pleasantries are manufactured. Not only are we not burdened by this because we are not designed to be burdened by such concerns it also because we have the complete and utter conviction that behaving in this manner is the right thing to do. We need to seduce you. We need to ensnare you and what better way to do so than by this campaign of love and desire? Where is the harm in that? We get you where we want you, we receive dollops of delicious fuel and you feel loved, wanted and placed on a throne at the top of a pedestal. It is a win- win surely?
Does it really matter that your bag is a fake Louis Vuitton? It holds objects, feels the same and looks the same, so where is the problem? That Blu-ray disc is not a genuine licensed film but you can still watch it all the same with next to no deterioration in viewing pleasure, so again, what is the issue? Our fakery works for you and it works for us.
Our façade to the world of being charming, reliable and wonderful despite that particular mask being removed behind closed doors again is just a necessary device. How does it matter that friends and family are conned? They like me, they admire me and they believe me so where again is the harm in that? Yes, they may not believe what you have to say about me based on my façade but that is your fault. If you had kept up the flow of fuel this would not have to happen.
Everyone else out there is in blissful ignorance and you want to change that. You want them to see what you claim is the real me. Why? All you will do is upset and alarm them. Is it not better that they remain shrouded in the illusion, content and unaware,rather than be subjected to the concern and worry that you seem intent on burdening them with? Why must you project your problems on to other people?
Even when I denigrate and berate you this too is merely manufactured. I do not really mean those horrible things that I say and do. I just do them because I have to. I have to keep you in your place, under my control and spewing out that negative fuel that I crave so much. If you had kept up the supply of decent quality fuel I would not have to say these things to you to provoke a reaction. I only do it because I must, I do not mean any of it.
Even when you ignite my fury my hateful words and spiteful comments through this explosive fury is only based on a necessity to protect myself from your awful criticism of me. I do not mean it, it just has to happen. Do you understand now why it is not my fault? There is no real intent behind what I say and do, they are just merely actions which serve a purpose to ensure I get the fuel that I need.
From my seduction, through to my façade to everyone else and even my devaluing of you, it is all based on a fabrication. A necessary set of illusions required to preserve my existence. No matter who I deal with, who I interact with or who comes within my sphere of influence, I roll out the lies, the untruths and the perfidy. Everything I say or do is manufactured but I have an utter conviction in the necessity of this manufactured process so that this, couple with an absence of conscience or remorse enables me to churn out the lies and illusions like a factory production line.
I am always on the fake.
And that’s the truth.
Don´t fall for the fakery
America : You Are Being Conned
11 thoughts on “Forever on the Fake”
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“Fake” people are like roided out misogynists who do things like stomp on a pregnant teenagers back so that the “Timberland” on the bottom of their boot imprints itself on a 15 year old pregnant girl’s back and then telling her that treatment is the new version of the abortion clinic.
NarcHater, I am so sorry to read this. What a horrible experience. I am glad you are here.
Good grief, I hadn’t realized the negative is just as fake as the positive. The really is nothing there, nothing real. This will help me in not taking it personally even more. It’s the height of selfishness, their survival at any cost, purely about the prime aims, as HG has been saying all along. It is so clear in my daughter’s ex and their dynamic, is this because I’m on the outside looking in or because he had no facade whatsoever? Maybe both. More difficult to see and to believe with my ex and my dad but just as true nonetheless.
@A Victor
It’s so hard when you get to the position of understanding what the narcissist really is and the other people involved don’t see it and you have to continue to witness them being used by the narcissist for fuel and money. Then you’re the negative one for knowing that the narc is fake and not being afraid to face that truth.
This is the position I am in with my mother.
It’s amazing how even the low IQ narcs are able to have so much power and control over others.
I know I’m just supposed to be completely indifferent and accept that without emotion but I’m not even sure that’s possible
@Witch,
I see what you mean, I am beginning to see it first-hand. It is very frustrating. I have a son-in-law that is currently doing this to my daughter, who is trapped more and more all the time, she is aware of it but unable to do anything. I am quite concerned for her. He continues to build his facade and spread his influence more all the time, I know when/if she decides to do anything to change her situation, it is going to be very ugly for her. I am so concerned for her. I am also in this position with some people with my mother. But thankfully the people who matter, my kids, do see it with her.
I think the low IQ ones do it through brute fear. My daughter was terrified to tell us the truth until she became concerned that he was going to kill her.
I can’t accept it without emotion yet. I don’t know if it is possible either.
A Victor,
Very sorry to read this about your daughter. It must be very hard for you trying to advise but at the same time knowing only your daughter can take the leap and escape her husband. As long as your daughter knows that you are there for her and believe what she has to say about her husband, this will be a great help to her. I do hope she sees the light and leaves her husband. She deserves better than that. I am sending you hugs and much love.
Best DB
Thank you Duchessbea 🙂
Witch, your words “I know I’m just supposed to be completely indifferent and accept that without emotion but I’m not even sure that’s possible”.
That is what is so difficult when it comes to being involved with narcissists – it is even more so when it is a familial ‘connection’ and when they are still living. You can go NC, it is not necessarily your ‘addiction’ that is the ‘issue’ here, it is your emotional ‘connection’, the ‘mother’ – they ‘pull’ on your emotional ‘strings’ even though the ‘mother’ does not feel it in the same way (lack of emotional empathy). It is when I read words like yours, that makes me think to myself, I am lucky, not to have ‘mother’ around any more. Even when I went NC with ‘mother’, the ‘influence’ was still present – it was within me – I called it the ‘darkness’ within me, the ‘residue’, it’s the parasitic ‘symbiosis’ that you cannot remove, it’s ‘invasion’ of the worst kind. I no longer feel that ‘residue’ in relation to ‘mother’.
I can understand the ‘influence’ to be so effective to the point where some people resort to ‘indirect’ “murdering” (an in-built ‘need’ to ‘remove’ the invisible, yet powerful ‘hold’). It’s more instinctual rather than logical – very few people ‘plan’ it, others ‘react’. It’s animal-based, primal.
That is how dangerous narcissism is. That is why HG’s work is so important. People need to understand the impact of narcissism and how far some victims can be ‘pushed’, even those with other ‘conditions’ that are not necessarily really understood fully.
Million dollar question is WHY the fakery from the narcissist. Is it merely because the psychological core of him/her is damaged beyond repair? Therefore we are told the only thing we can do is run for the hills from this relationship and never-ever have any contact with them again. It all seems utterly hopeless.. how does a narcissist live with their self, duping every single person throughout their life? It all started somewhere… he/she is the true victim of this disorder imo. The rest of us can never help them, we can only get ourselves as far away as possible once we understand they are completely unredeemable.
Lonerose99, they are victims initially but they make everyone they come across victims. It is hard to accept, took me months. As to the million dollar question, they can’t allow their real self out, it wasn’t enough, it didn’t protect them. It’s all about their survival. They can live with themselves because they either don’t know or they don’t care or because their survival is more important than anyone else’s. It is hopeless. Once I accepted that, my struggle became easier. It was with many many tears though. I wish you the best, it is not easy but you are in the best place to learn.
This really is one of your best, HG. Unfortunately, many people don’t believe it. Thank you for posting this because it is a good reminder.