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One thought on “The Rules of Ex Club : No. 1”
I cannot recall which article where I read a comment in response to another comment RE: a ‘relationship’ (with a narcissist) lasting on average between 8 to 24 months.
I had been thinking about that. It was another ‘insight’ on my part, I have had around 3 to 4 that lasted around 9 months. Before they (the guy) started cheating on me. Surely, they can’t all have been narcissists?! I have just giggled, here, maybe it was me – not funny. Yes it is. Laughing at myself. They may have been narcissists but I was younger and cannot really remember that much about those ‘relationships’, nor about their ‘characteristics’ but 3 of them were ‘mummy’s boys’ – none of which were ‘achievers’ in the sense of the word.
I never came across as ‘crazy’ in reaction to the endings of these relationships. I really ‘lost it’ in the last two ‘entanglements’ – because it was not just the ‘entanglements’ with those narcissists, it was also other narcissists in the ‘vicinity’ (ie family members / work) and the ‘circumstances’ caused by those narcissists = LOCE.
I just re-read my words as above – it just occurred to me as to maybe why I did not go ‘crazy’ after a relationship ended. Was it because of the influence from mother and her always having her way (resorting to physical abuse)? Meaning, I had to “accept” ‘defeat’ and there was no point in ‘fighting’ for what I believed in. Or was it because the trauma over my the loss of my father, hence my ‘attracting’ others who would end up hurting me?
One thing I cannot comprehend is the fact there is no ‘official’ education regarding relationships with other people (and ‘losses’ of those close to you) – it is not taught in schools. And it should be. At 19 years old, I was ‘sent’ to a really crap therapist. I was too young to understand ‘social communication’ and ‘social interaction’. I understood sex. I misunderstood ‘love’. Just because I had a narcissist mother.
Wow. How much I have learned in one year. Thanks to HG and his work.