Tell Tale
We have cast you aside after subjecting you to a litany of abuse, mistreatment and the full horror of our manipulative and disorientating repertoire. You have given your absolute all in the pursuit of what you believed to be our perfect love.
You have endured humiliation, denigration and belittlement yet you still hung in there, desperate to cure and to heal. You wanted us so much that it hurt and it still does. Not only have we discarded you with a callous disregard for your welfare and sanity, we have added to the pain by parading our latest conquest for all the world to see. You are no longer the recipient of our burning desire.
You have been removed from our grace and favour and a new beneficiary has been installed. The monument to our supposedly everlasting love has been razed to the ground and on that once sacred ground we have erected a new edifice, lauding our new, shinier and much improved interest. What was once promised as lasting forever has been smashed into pieces and erased from the history books.
Your hurt, anger and indignation are tangible. The traitorous behaviour we have subjected to you has torn you apart. It is awful enough that after everything you have done, everything you have given and everything that you have endured, you have been struck from the record. The insult has been magnified and multiplied by reason of our infatuation with your replacement. How dare we do this to you. It is utterly unfair.
Your desire for retribution is immense. You want to cause our come uppance and warn the world about the monster that you see us as. You feel that all must be told about the awful toll that you have taken from our treatment but greater than that, you have that irresistible sense of needing to protect and warn.
The empathic nature that made you such an attractive target to us has survived notwithstanding the mauling we have given you. You need to save our conquest from what you have been put through. Not only must you rescue the poor innocent from our toxic touch this will enable you to exact a delicious revenge on us. By taking away the thing that we crave, you know that triumph awaits.
Our fresh acquisition may work out what has happened, but that will take too long. No, you owe it to her and you owe it yourself to intervene, to educate and warn. It is time to expose us for what you say we are.
You call us for the perfidious behaviour that we have engaged in. You decry our stories of your hysterical and unreasonable behaviour and yet here you are, ready to spread such lies about us to our new love. You hold yourself out as being a person of good nature and compassion yet you are hell bent on ruining our new-found happiness.
You were not good enough for us. You let us down and thus you had to be moved to one side replaced. Out with the old and in with the new. That is the natural order of events. The appliance does not work anymore, therefore a new, faster and more effective appliance must be brought to the fore and installed. Why complain about that?
Had you been fit for purpose you would still be the object of our affection, but you failed. We gave you every chance and yet you still came up wanting. You are to blame. You only have yourself to blame. Yet, exhibiting the malice that you laughingly accuse us of you go running to our new interest and tell tales about us.
Your poison-laden tongue weaves its malevolent words as you whisper fabricated stories in order to discourage our new love from remaining with us. Do you not understand that this is the very reason why we had to let you go. We tried. We really did, but you would insist on railing against us and not submitting to our will.
There was no hope for it other than to remove you from our lives. As people of substance and rigour, we have not gone with our tales of lament to others, seeking to draw sympathy from them. No, that is not for us. We chalked off our time with you as a mistake and we learn from it. Now we have found someone better. So what that we moved with what you regard as unseemly haste, we are entitled to drive forward. You should take heed of our capability in that regard, instead of remaining mired in what might have been.
Imprisoning yourself in a tomb of melancholy is not the way of progress. This only underlines our superiority to you. We have moved on. If you cannot, then that is your problem and not ours.
We act with honour and do not stoop to your level. We know that our character speaks for itself with this new person. We allow them to make their own mind up and the extensive groundwork which we put in place has ensured that this person is impervious to your unsavoury behaviour.
We know that our impregnable façade of magnificence cannot be pierced by your savage and twisted lies. Run to our new love, run to them and seek to pour your poison in their ears and we shall watch smiling as they turn to you and shake their head. They are immune to your campaign of smears.
They know that we are truly wonderful and that you had your chance but you destroyed what we had as a consequence of your quite frankly unhinged conduct. She tells you how magnificently I treat her and you try to explain how it was like that for you in the beginning but your words are lost in translation.
You are told that your jealousy has skewed your outlook, that your paranoia has warped your view of the world. Your craziness has been well documented. We have done the protecting. We have done the warning and as always we got in first.
Tell your tales but all you do is reinforce our brilliance and the reason we were oh so right to be rid of you.
Nobody likes a telltale.
Nobody likes you.
Hi A Victor, the doctor said that he felt he made progress with two of them but it was very difficult. He did not treat long term because they just stopped coming. He also said that they may have been pretending that that the therapy was working to appease the partner. Interestingly, the doctor’s father was a narcissist that he diagnosed. He ended up coming to live with them and the doc and his wife took care of him thru the end of his life. He had Alzheimer’s disease. The doctor said that as his father aged he became less narcissistic probably because of the dementia. Maybe he forgot he was one! Lol 😂 sorry I couldn’t resist that! I can tell those jokes….it’s my field of nursing. Lol
Wendy, you are not going to believe this. My dad, a narcissist by HG’s NDC, died last Nov.of Alzheimer’s. I was his primary caretaker for the last 2.5 years of his life, and quite involved for several years leading up to that. One of the questions I had on my list for HG was how does dementia affect narcissism, if at all. I had removed it from my list thinking it was too specialized a question, there likely wouldn’t be enough data. But your comment is an answer, at least in one case. I am literally sobbing with the thought that we may have been blessed to see him as he would have been, without the narcissism, for a slim window, but true nonetheless. He did change over the course of his illness, as you know I’m sure, many times. But I can see in my memory those times where it made him less narcissistic. It really did change him, not all for the better and not with any stability, but there were periods, I can see that. I can’t thank you enough, it makes everything I’ve done worth it, to have seen the ‘real’ him. And the jokes are understood and appreciated!
Good morning A Victor. Wow, I am so glad you shared this! What a fascinating thing the mind/brain is. So complex and so much we still do not understand! I am so happy that you were able to care for your father in his last days although I know how very difficult that was for you. God bless you!! It is so hard for everyone involved but even more for the primary caregiver (family) when you see your loved one slipping away. The doctor said that in the last days his father had become significantly less narcissistic and he could actually find some healing from how awful he had been to his mother and brother thru the years. Even though this change was not done consciously it was still wonderful for him to see a very less narcissistic father! When I go back in to work on Monday I will ask him to speak more about what his views are on how he believes dementia affects NPD. He has been working in this area( dementia) for over 30 years. Im so glad you were able to get a glimpse of your dad and who he was or could have been without having the narcissism dominate him. It is truly fascinating and I would love to see more research in this area. Nevertheless, I’m glad I shared that post and happy you could get that closure or at least realize you did see a “ glimpse” of your real father although brief! I believe that somewhere in them even if they do not recognize us any longer they will absolutely feel the love and care that we have for them and this provides immense security for them during this horrible disease! Again, God bless you for taking caring of him! 💕
Wendy, please share whatever you can from what your doctor says, i am very interested. I think the difficulty for him might be in knowing who was affected by NPD prior to the dementia appearing. At what point in the process he meets them.
Caring for my father was a labor in love, he was my kinder parent, it is a matter of comparison between the two. What I am left with is my other parent, I do not feel the same toward her. But it is what it is for now. I am somewhat convinced she will outlive me just because she is so tough.
Thank you for your comments, it has been interesting to learn a bit more about all of this.
A Victor, yw. I will let you know what he says. You have def had your hands full!
Hm, didn’t expect the videos to arrive that way, sorry HG. I thought they would simply be links.
Ah, but the irony is that the narcissist only has a short period of time that he feels on top of the world with his nice shiny new appliance. Then it’s back to the same. He/she falls into the pits of the mire once again and the cold hard truth that they will never be fulfilled or satisfied. It’s short lived. Then dear narcissist, your shiny new toy finds out just how miserable you really are and that all we told them is the truth! I never told a new supply but I did feel the need to reach out to a couple of his exes just to get validation. And oh sure enough I was validated! And, I am quite sure my ex narc felt rage that I went to them so this made me feel better momentarily. The narcissist isn’t as “great and powerful “ as he may think. I would have to say that his victim that managed to make an escape and to cause him a decent dose of injury might just have the upper hand. 😉
Your comments shows several misunderstandings about the mind of the narcissist, do keep reading.
Ok, I see your point and I will keep reading. I want to believe the narcissist can “ feel” something other than what you describe. It would make me “feel” much better! Also, when you talk about the “ creature” is this the narcissism or the narcissist you are referring to? Creature is derived from create so you/it were created by someone or something. You are still human and have a soul. You know right from wrong. You just don’t care. But what caused you not to care? I’m sorry. This is just mind blowing to me and I can’t wrap my head around it! I will keep reading. Thanks!
Hi Wendy, there are some resources that can help with understanding the Creature, one in the Knowledge Vault which is very good.
Also a few YT videos:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVJ-AjhsnWQ
And perhaps less directly related, I have found these to be helpful also:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cd-pF5LtPzQ
There is also information in some of the books though off the top of my head I can’t tell you which ones.
It is very, very difficult to get our heads around the absolutely different perspective they have. It has been one of the most challenging things for me for sure. But being here you will if you keep studying. 🙂
Thank you! I appreciate it and honestly this is therapy for me being here . Grateful to have found HG’s work and being able to talk to others on here is part of my healing process. I am a nurse and I work with psychiatrists and when I asked one of them about NPD he said in his 30 years of practice he had treated 5. Because they come in mainly to manipulate and just for the partners sake. They are hard for even the drs to diagnose. I will watch the videos. Thanks again!
You’re welcome Wendy! Curious, did your psychiatrist feel he had successfully treated the 5 or were they the ones who came for manipulating or their partners?
It’s a game to the narcissist, but somebody can seriously get hurt playing with people emotions. They give their all then get left high and dry.What if the last button is pushed.. and the saying goes “if I can’t have you nobody else will “ I wonder what happens when 2 psychos bump head? Neither wants to loose the game.