Love Bombing : If the Narcissist Was Honest
What if the unaware narcissist was made aware so they shared with you how they regarded you and their behaviour prior to the commencement of their love bombing of you? What if the aware narcissist decided they would share their thoughts and motivations about you, no longer seeing doing so as a transference of power? If they did, this would be the result.
There you sit. Soaked in innocence, drenched in unawareness, drowning in vulnerability. You are an empath. I can detect that. From the things that you say, the things that you do, the way you move, the way you interact with others, the manner of your gestures, the look in your eyes and the facial expressions that you make, you radiate as only the empath does. Great bubbles of honesty form on the surface of you and float upwards, arcing jets of the need for justice spray from you and decency shimmers about you like some ethereal cloak. I watch as the ripples of your caring nature sweep back and forth across you, beautiful display of what you are. The coils of your compassion emerge onto you and spiral upwards enveloping the fortunate recipient that you direct them towards. Your desire to heal and fix shines from you as if a magnificent light, sweeping around the world from you the lighthouse, banishing darkness and providing succour and support to those this ray of repair lands on. I see it all. These empathic traits and more besides are part of the empathic ecosystem and I am the predator that waits within this ecosystem, ready to take advantage of it.
I see the narcissistic traits too. The bubbling anger that resides beneath your cloak of decency, that cloak keeping your anger in check until it is permitted to make an appearance through the application of righteous annoyance. I sense the showcasing that you have, a glittering desire to be seen, but since it sits beneath your caring nature, it is only ever seen in its fair and entertaining application, never show stealing or vainglorious.
Your jealousy lurks, but trapped within those bubbles of honesty, save when one of those bubbles is pricked by an external force usually me and my abuse, albeit we are some distance away from that at this juncture.
No, this is that moment right before I commence my seduction of you. I say seduction as that sounds romantic but in reality, it is an invasion. You see, you are a nation state which has the resources which I need. My reconnaissance is at an early stage and I do not yet know whether you will become my Intimate Partner Primary Source (other half, wife, spouse, girlfriend ) or whether you will be an IPSS, either one which I will pick up and put down as and when I see fit and allow some access into my world, or one which I will keep tucked away in the shadows, there when I need a fresh injection of the fuel that I must have. What I do know is that you already belong to me. The moment I saw you meant that your fate was sealed, you became my property, all I must do now is invade you.
Will I spare you this invasion? No. I do not care at all for you. I have no emotional empathy whatsoever and therefore I will take what I need with no regard at all for the consequences for you. Will I invade you slowly and steadily, perhaps giving you a chance to work out whether this is right for you? No. This is an invasion. I must achieve your submission as fast as I can. You see, I cannot cope unless you are under my control and the possibility that you might threaten my control over you starts to weaken me, make me feel insignificant and powerless and that must never, ever happen. This means I have to achieve control over you so I can access your resources – your fuel, your character traits and your residual benefits – as quickly as possible.
Now, most invasions are a brutal display of force, battering the enemy into submission, destroying the opposition´s defences, shattering their infrastructure, terrifying their populaces and annihilating their armed forces with an impressive arsenal of destructive weapons. This invasion will be brutal in its speed, you will be battered into submission, I will overwhelm your defences, I will disable your support systems, I will occupy every inch of you, I will monopolise your time, I will isolate you from any interfering influences, I will harness your assets and make them mine to ensure that you are subjugated. I will not do this with terror however, I shall do so with love.
Well, I say love, truth be told, I have no idea how to love you. I have no emotional empathy remember which means that I am utterly unable to love you in the way that is best for you. Instead, what I am going to do is give you what I understand love to be (but actually isn´t) and thanks to my predecessor narcissists you have been conned into misunderstanding what love is. You see, love is actually premised on emotional empathy, that means respecting one another, having things in common, embracing the differences, being patient and supportive, taking time to know one another, to accept who you are and to be accepted for who one is, to share and to care, to listen and listen properly. This emotional empathy means recognising boundaries, it means never manipulating or abusing, it means working together and standing shoulder to shoulder when the world and it is a tough old world, throws what it does at you. It means not shirking responsibility, it means standing up and being counted, it means jealousy and envy are kept in check, there is fidelity and passion for one another. It is all in the doing and not the saying.
The problem with all of that is that I am not designed to do any of it, but I am designed to give you the impression that I am capable of doing it.
My invasion has three parts to it:-
- I will use the narcissistic narrative to dazzle you,
- I will use my powers of mimicry to make you think I have emotional empathy , and
- I will mirror yourself back at you.
All are based on fabrication – the fabrication of what love is, the fabrication of emotional empathy and the fabrication of what you think I am.
The first part is that my predecessor narcissists have become the architects of the ideal of love. All of that which I just described about how love is based on emotional empathy, well they effectively threw all of that out of the window because it is too slow, boring and will not lead to your swift submission. Accordingly, actually loving you through emotional empathy would be too slow and not give me the control I must desperately have over you. Instead, what allows you to be conquered within the blink of an eye is fabrication. I will flatter you, compliment you, adore you, admire you, swamp you with my infatuation. I will idealise you and put you on the highest pedestal. I will treasure you, covet you, showcase you, polish you up and present you. Notice what this all signifies, yes, you are an object to me, my object. You will not realise this though because I will drape you with the narcissistic narrative so you think what I am giving you is the most perfect, incredible love but it is not. It is an illusion. It is fakery.
I am going to become the romantic poets all rolled into one, I will be a stormtrooper of seduction, blitzkrieg you into submission through the application of the most amazing sex you have experienced, I will buy you gifts, I will introduce you to all my friends and family, I will propose marriage to you within weeks of meeting you, I will move into your house within a week of meeting you because “this feels so right”, I will tell you how scintillating you are compared to that horrible person I was with previously, I will tell you that nobody compares to you, that you are simply the best, that I don´t want to miss a thing, that love comes quickly, that all you need is love – do you see how my predecessors have already done the hard work? They are the song writers, the artists, the poets, the authors, the entertainers and the writers of Hallmark cards. My narcissist brethren have created a tapestry of what romantic love is and it is false. That is not love but you have become conditioned by film, book, poem and song to believe that it is and all I am going to do is wrap you in all of those things and make you feel like the only girl in the world. It will be breath taking, amazing, mind-blowing and dizzying. Your heart will race, your spirits will soar, you will have a spring in your step and a smile plastered on your face for weeks and months on end. All of this is called a golden period.
This golden period is given to you so I can invade you and occupy you in the shortest time possible and with maximum effect. Inside this golden period. I will also use the artifice of creating the impression that I also love you with emotional empathy. Alongside the fireworks, glitter and rainbows, I will give you glimpses of kindness and support. This is the second part of the invasion. This means my invasion is guaranteed to succeed. After I have used the narcissistic idea of love to dazzle you into submission and the second is to layer on that, the appearance of having emotional empathy. I am an expert at fakery. I have been designed so I can mimic what truly empathic people do, but I only do this for a short time, intermittently when I absolutely have to and of course entirely to make you mine. I will bring you chicken soup when you feel unwell, I will do the laundry, I will take the dog for a walk, I will tidy up, I will cook for you, I will listen to you talk about how difficult your boss is and offer suggestions as to how you deal with it. I actually do not give a flying fuck about any of those things, but I have to do them, so you think that I am that type of person. I need to give you the fireworks, so you think I am special and the fake empathy, so you think I am supportive and reliable.
Within all of this is the third part, the mirroring. You see, I actually do not exist, well I do, but that part of me is locked away and must never be seen. What I mean, is what you see, and experience does not exist, it is a shapeshifting fabrication which takes on whatever form is needed to conquer you. Sexual Olympian? No problem. Bon viveur? Absolutely. Pillar of the community? Easily done. Captain Success? Already to be deployed. Dr Caring? At your service madam. Loving father? Kind companion? Hilarious entertainer? Sports mad? Fashion conscious? Brain the size of Canada? Literary genius? Comicon enthusiast? Friends binge watcher? Dirty Dancing worshipper? Religious acolyte? Dedicated to the literary works of great American writers? Fly fisherman? Equestrian? Ten pin bowler? Check, check and check. I will become whatever is needed to win you over.
Everything about you will be mirrored back at you, the way you smile, the way you love, the things you like, and the things oyu dislike. What I show you is not me, good God no, what I show you is yourself. In the most brilliant of perversions, I make you fall in love with yourself. How narcissistic is that?!
So, none of it is genuine but you do not have to worry about that now because the best part is, you will not even notice. I am so good at this because I am designed to be this way and you are designed not to notice (thank you emotional thinking). Settle in and enjoy this golden period because it will be unlike anything you have ever experienced before. It is absolutely incredible, and you may as well enjoy it because it will be removed. Yes, I only need to give you the golden period to conquer you and to extract your resources and after that, well I will take it away and then the full horror is visited on you, but we do not need to go into that now. What you must do is enjoy this and I guarantee you will, it is beyond the highest high, this is more potent and more addictive than heroin.
So, there you sit, my crosshairs trained on you, the target on your heart all lit up and easy to see to one such as I. It is time to commence the seduction, time to love bomb you. Time to make you mine with the application of falsification, fakery and fabrication on an unprecedented scale.
Do I feel bad about this? Of course not. I simply do not care, but I will make it look like I do.
I am like the predator that has learned to mimic the firefly. I will flash and signal so you think I am ready to mate with and when you come flying to me, all eager and enraptured, I will ensnare you and later devour you as you offer no resistance, confused and dumbstruck as to how you fell for this.
It is all a big con. I am the love fraud and you are my victim.
19 thoughts on “Love Bombing : If the Narcissist Was Honest”
LFS, I hate that anyone has this disorder for their sake and for the ones that are affected by them. It truly is a sad existence even though they don’t recognize it as such.
Praying someday there might be a breakthrough for some type of treatment for NPD. I absolutely agree the best thing is for us to stay away from them!
Thanks for your info. It’s much appreciated!
LFS, I appreciate your response. I was only involved with my ex for 6 months and that’s not long compared to many. I still have a lot to learn about narcissism and I am grateful for you and others on here for helping me to better understand this! And HG! Thank God for HG Tudor!
Thanks again 😊
HG .. Narcs are everywhere. People don’t realize so many criminals and persons in jail are narcs. It’s not just guys pretending to “love” a woman or girl. HG.. people are fools . But , love , and or power over someone keeps us going. It’s not just men who want to be someone’s Prince charming or hero … that’s a good act . It’s the narcs that abuse and torture cause they enjoy the power trip …it gets them off. It’s not the ones pretending to be kind , or pretending to be loving some are really wanting the feeling to be there they want to feel this so called love word … they try in their mind they actually think they are trying. They think it’s because the other person messes it up somehow. HG I wish you would live a long time with one person so we can learn more .
I say again as I have before, narcissism is evil and is the exact opposite of what God says love is yet all of those narcissists in power create this fantasy of what love is and we are bombarded with it from the moment we can understand language and nonverbal communication. It is meant to deceive us in every way, shape, and form. The Knight in shining armor and Prince Charming. What a lie of all lies! Yet we hold on to this lie with wanton desire and belief that this is the fulfillment of all of our dreams and desires. What a mind fuck! It’s all BS and the sooner we understand what real love is then we might have a fighting chance!
Hi Wendy, if you haven’t already done so, I recommend listening to HG’s Cinderella, Roald Dahl’s version, on the Treasure Trove on YouTube. You will see why I recommend it at the end. It is fantastically narrated, of course, and also has a fantastic message for us! 🙂
Hi AV, just seeing this comment. I will listen to it. Thank you!
So so true
That’s why I have never let another person fulfil all my dreams and desires. Unattainable expectations!
We should’ve be informed how bloody hard it really is 🤣
I watched Disney too 😂
Luv bubbles xx 😘
Absolutely unattainable bubbles. Disney! 🙄lol
Like the old saying goes ……
‘Don’t expect too much from people, the less you expect, the less disappointed you will be when they let you down’ ……..people will inevitably always let you down in some way or another
But that does’t mean you should drop your own standards
I’m also a firm believer of “neither a borrower nor a lender be; /for loan oft loses both itself and friend. I also don’t like being ‘beholden’ to someone
Psychologists have a classification called ‘white knight syndrome’ ……and yes, it’s considered toxic ……haha
So wensical, just watch out for those rescuers bearing gifts and doing good deeds, it will always come at a price
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
I hate Disney! Either they have an abusive step parent or someone dies,(usually a parent).
Narcissistic personality disorder is terrible disease. It´´ has evil impacts on us but nobody chooses to be a narcissists! They are created and they have already a genetic predisposition. Their behavior is terrible, nasty and evil, I agree but narcissism is not a choice! It´s the result of genetics and environment.
Hi Leelasfuelstinks, I agree with you. Narcissists are created and predisposed and my heart actually goes out to them because of this. I’m referring more to the evil of narcissism in itself not the person. I’m more or less venting on the manipulation side of what they do to us and how they know exactly what they are doing. They know they are having affairs, cheating, lying, etc; but as far as it being a choice for them to become a narcissist I do realize it’s not theirs. I hate the narcissism not necessarily the narcissist.
Wendy, your words “I hate the narcissism not necessarily the narcissist”. How astute of you to describe it as this.
Thank you Asp Emp!
That’s was very kind to say. It’s true, I don’t hate anyone actually but I do hate their behaviors. I tend to vent at times and it sounds bad but I honestly can’t stay in that anger for long.
But, it sure feels good to bitch about it sometimes! Lol
Wendy, laughing at your last sentence 🙂
I see it as developmental arrest. Narcissists are small children and toddlers in adults bodies. It´s an infantile self-defense mechanism. They see people as objects, they have black and white thinking, they project, they think the world revolves around them. That´s what 2 year old children do. The victims are toys to them and that is exactly how we were treated. We are sources of fuel and toys. And what do children do with their toys? They get a new toy, are happy, love it, play with them all the time, then they get bored of it, dismember it, put it on the shelf, and look for new and more interesting toys. That´s what they did with us! So partially, they are still 2 year old toddlers.
Hi LFS, again I agree with most of this but they are not two years olds any longer. They have become adults and we can’t put them in the same category. Yes, they behave much like a two year old but two year olds do not have the ability to calculate and deceive in the same way. The narcissist knows right from wrong, the two year old does not. They have my sympathy but only to a certain extent.
They are only partially 2- year olds. The body is grown-up, but the self-defense mechanism remains infantile. So, they are actually infants and toddlers in adults bodies, while some parts of the brain did in fact develop and others did not. They lack grey matter in several parts of the brain. And only the Greater Narcissist and H.G. plan and plot and calculate, the Mid Rangers and Lessers operate mostly by instinct. I do not want to defend narcissists, this is just science and medicine. NPD is not a choice, but the most important fact is, that we should stay away from them anyway, no matter what.
That’s funny you say that Leela. Some of HGs post remind me of my kids. I’m like my kids are little narcissist! All 3 of them! 🤣