30 Shards of Ice



Words are our weapons. Easy to use, low in energy expenditure but with such potential. The capacity to charm, to flatter, to instil joy, to create desire, love and passion, to engender affection and much more besides. Words can be used to soothe, to convince, to persuade and to calm. Those words can also hurt, upset, annoy and frustrate. Cutting comments, acidic accusations and pernicious put-downs. The greater of our kind show particular ingenuity in assembling those savage sentences which cause despair and generate misery for the recipient. We adopt a considered approach in respect of the uttering of these barbed comments.

  1. They will be reserved most often for strangers and minions in order to reinforce our superiority and to show off in front of you, our primary source. We have no façade to maintain with the newspaper vendor, the waitress or the driver of another car. They will suffer the caustic words to allow the provision of fuel to us by their shocked and upset reaction and also from you by reason of your admiration at our masterful handling of the incompetent person serving us.
  2. Those who form the façade rarely receive the lash of our tongue unless they deceive us and become treacherous. For the most part those people will only ever experience the pouring of honey in their ears and the sugar-coated pleasantries which are designed to keep the loyal to us and to maintain the façade to our benefit.
  3. The worst of these comments is directed at you as our primary source of fuel. The issuing of nasty, malevolent and hurtful comments will be saved for you during devaluation for the purposes of causing the maximum provision of fuel and the assertion of our control. Slurs about your life, your appearance, your family, your interests, your job and your friends will be routinely hurled at you. This will happen repeatedly, like a machine gun firing our bilious bullets towards you. We also like to wield a show stopper of a comment, a particularly chilling comment which is designed to drive a shard of ice through your heart. The type of comment which leaves you in a stunned silence at the malice it contains. The nature of the comment leaves you horrified that somebody would say that to you, somebody who is meant to love and cherish you, somebody who once said the most wonderful things to you (and will do so again in about a week as the rollercoaster ride gets into its stride). These comments are designed to deliver maximum hurt, total upset and have that negative fuel pouring from you. They may leave you stunned, sickened, frightened and anxious, they will chill you to the core but our kind will always deliver them because words are our weapons. Here are thirty icy shards which are driven through your hearts.
  1. I will always be in your head and your heart. You will never ever escape me.
  2. I will not stop. Ever.
  3. You know, I thought about your funeral before and it troubled me. It troubled me because I would no longer be able to punish you.
  4. Nobody likes you, that is why your dad left you, you know. Nobody else will say it but I will.
  5. I hope it takes years of therapy to sort you out.
  6. You think this is bad? This is nothing. I am just getting started.
  7. I always know where you are.
  8. You are my puppet and I will never cut the strings.
  9. I know everything about you. Remember that.
  10. It’s strange what can happen when you are asleep.
  11. No matter how far you go I will always find you, because I own you.
  12. I only chose you because I felt sorry for you.
  13. You have no idea what is going through my mind right now have you? But I know exactly what you are thinking.
  14. Go on scream, nobody is listening.
  15. You are not a person to me.
  16. I’ve caressed you. Now I am going to crush you.
  17. Just think, you have already had the happiest moment in your life.
  18. You have told me all your secrets. Remember that.
  19. I’m diseased and I’ve infected every part of you.
  20. Nobody will ever believe what you say.
  21. I’m the permanent reminder of all the things you want to forget.
  22. I will teach our children to hate you.
  23. I’m going to show you what loneliness really is.
  24. This is happening because you are a bad person.
  25. I need to cleanse you and I will not stop until it is done.
  26. When you close your eyes you will only ever see my face.
  27. I will never let you go.
  28. I will never put you out of your misery.
  29. I hate her because she reminds me too much of you.
  30. This is what will happen for the rest of your life.

There are many more, but what have you been told which has stopped you in your tracks and sent a chill through you?

36 thoughts on “30 Shards of Ice

  1. Jasmin says:

    “Do you think that they are going to support you? The only thing they want is to see you destroyed.”

  2. A says:

    Yes, i remember some.

    No.4 nobody likes you, that’s why your father abused you. Nobody else will say it, but i will.

    No.5 something about therapy, when i suggested to attend therapy, because he always ranted about everything that was wrong with me.
    Big mistake, his fury ignited and he punched me all over the place and shouted, iam your therapist, iam all you need to get better.

    No.6 you think this is bad? This is nothing. I am just getting started. He was right.

    No.7 i always know where you are. Yes because i was always home, taking care of the children and keeping everything together, and he planted audio and video recorders al over the house. And he called or texted almost every 15, 30 minuten.

    No.10 it’s strange what can happen when you are asleep. I was so afraid of him, when he said that and exhousted, and I’ve never seen him sleep, always awake, watching me, creepy.

    No.11 no matter how far you go i will always find you. I took this one very serously when i fled from him to a secret place. He didn’t find me and the children.

    No.12 i only chose you because i felt sorry for you. You should be happy that someone like me want you. You must feel honored to be with me.

    No.23 i’m going to show you what loneliness really is. He said this when i told him i like some me, alone time, that i need to be alone from time to time. I should not have said that.

    No.24 this is happening because you are a bad person.

    Now i understand more about the mindset of the Narcissist, but at the time i believed all these Shard of Ice. And they keeped me hooked.


    1. WhoCares says:

      Auti – 💜

      1. Auti says:

        Thank you 💚

    2. Joa says:

      Auti, when I read this, I have the feeling, that my “adventure” was just a gentle ride. I feel very sorry for you and I am glad that it is already behind you and your children.

      Apart from the open intimidation and bullying, the most hurtful texts are about the father’s abuse (I have terrible epithets on the tongue !!!) and that he feels sorry for you (insolent boor!). My blood boils as I read this. You must have been very subordinate to him. I can’t even imagine it.

      “My N” used different things to inflict suffering. He took out everything he could, and when he couldn’t anymore, he attacked through those I love: “It looks like your daughter is just as plastic as you.” But he never took advantage of the fact, that I was raped – and he could be a great swimmer in that respect, his style would be, for example: “I’m sure, even that guy who fucked you first, wasn’t good for him” or “Did you groan more, when he shoved it into your mouth or your ass?”. Would it hurt? Yes, of course. I wonder, why he never took the easy opportunity to inflict wounds, even when he was paranoid and cruelly taking advantage of the sex between us. I’ve thought about it many times. I know he didn’t do it out of the goodness of his heart over me. In fact, he didn’t care. I think, I know why he never took advantage of this fact.

      Auti, I hope you are now leading a reasonably calm and stable life and that you often see the smile on your children’s faces. And then there will also be time for your smile. I wish this for you.

      1. Auti says:


        Nobody’s adventure with a N. is a gentle ride.

        We are all different and the N. uses our vulnerabilities against us.
        He needed to say that to control me.

        Thank you for your sympathy, iam also glad it is behind us.
        I can never forget, that’s oke.

        He was/is (i don’t know if he is still alive, iam far away from him)a piece of shite indeed. But that’s what they do. The things they do for the prime aims.

        “Your N.” also sounds like a piece of shite.
        Terrible to mourn your daughter.
        Iam sorry that happened to you.
        Also the rape, al least he didn’t use it against you.

        My son is a Normal, i had him analized by HG, because at first i thought he was a Narcissist.
        Because of my background and upbringing, i didn’t know what normal behaviour is.
        We are very close now. He is doing well in his life.
        My daughter, i don’t know yet, she could be Narcisstic and not a Narcissist.
        Iam not ready to know for sure yet. I want to wait until she is a bit older.

        Thank you for your wishes, i wish the same for you.
        Iam leading a calm and stable life now.
        I feel thankful everyday that my children and i made it, we are alive.a

        1. Joa says:

          You’re right, Auti. Each of us has a lot of scars.

          Thats good! I also have a relatively quiet and safe life. And most importantly, this is the life of my daughter.

          I also watch her to see if she is a narcissist. Lots of symptoms, but she’s in adolescence right now. I remember, that was the most narcissistic period in my life. I am waiting for a beautiful empath to emerge from this mess 🙂 It will turn out in some time. She is very wise “psychologically” – communication without words. Conscious. “Normal” rather not.

          Grrrr, when you called “my N” piece of shite, my defense system was instantly triggered. I can’t think of him that way. But yes, you are right, that’s what he is.

          Take it easy, I was in a different situation. When we were together, it wasn’t that aggressive, he was just “screwing the screws.” The attack took place many years later and at a distance. And to be honest, his words gave me unearthly delight. Because I knew, why he was saying them. At the same time, he was feeding my inner masochist and sadist (in that exact order, mental pain and mental orgasm at the same time, heh). It was incredibly… disgusting and beautiful.
          But I had to end it. We both had to.

          Unfortunately, he got closer. He went even deeper…

          Sounds narcissistic, I know.

          Yes, my daughter appeared in this relationship like an Angel. She protected me, because I had to protect her.

          I apologize for these considerations. They probably reminded you of what you don’t want to remember. I am just forgetting and I have to “beat myself up” a little more. To definitely go on and stop turning back at last.

          I wish you a Merry Christmas and all the best for you and your children 😊

          1. Auti says:


            That’s good to know, about you and your daughter.

            Iam happy you ended it with the N.

            No need to apologize, i don’t forget anyway, iam over it.
            I post sometimes about my experiences to maybe help other people reconize and that you can get over shite like that and heal.

            I wish you and your daughter also the best and a Merry Christmas.

  3. positivefuel8 says:

    Dear HG,
    Thank-you for sharing of yourself and your teachings.

    I am learning much about how to treat people, especially the ones who have treated me so cruelly, unfairly behind my back with slanders and lies ..

    This has gone on all my life.. I used to feel sorry for these pathetic individuals but now my tolerance has grown thin.
    Women, jealous and insecure backstabbing bitches used to hurt but not no more!
    It’s time for me to step up to the plate and be the person I was created to be…

    I am not an empathic individual, if anything I lean more to the normal exhibiting Narcissist traits especially when provoked.

    Knowing how words can cut like a knife; I can and will put this skill into action…

    From this point onward when shitty people cross my path with their false masks and fake smiles; I guarantee will receive a new reality; a stronger more colder version of me.

    The Ice Queen….in control of her emotions…

    Being tall and athletic (Nordic/German ancestory with striking blue eyes) I wear it well so to speak.

    Once friendly and kind is now… Cold as Ice….

    Friendly and kind is reserved for only the few I consider worthy of my time…

    1. Asp Emp says:

      positivefuel8, wow, I mean, seriously, wow. That is one hell of a comment. Brilliant to read. Practice makes perfect? Thank you for sharing your comment. I think this is one worthy of my making a note of and re-reading from time to time…..as a reminder.

      1. Wendy says:

        Totally agree with you Asp Emp!

      2. positivefuel8 says:

        Hi Wendy, this is positivefuel8,, just wanted to say thanks for your kind words. Its nice to receive such positive feedback..
        Warm regards…

        1. Asp Emp says:

          Krystle, I agree with you 🙂

        2. Wendy says:

          PF8, you are very welcome. We all need the positive feedback! It’s great coming here to get affirmation about what each of us has gone thru with the narcissist. It’s my therapy and I feel a comraderie with the others on this blog.

          It’s healing!

          Hugs 🤗

    2. Wendy says:

      Positivefuel8, I can relate to you so much on this!

      There are so many fake ass negative people in this world that when you walk into a room with them you can literally feel it!

      I certainly can, and I’m at a point as you are that I’m not wasting any more time trying to placate and be “nice” to those people who will smile in your face and be talking shit about you the minute you turn your back.

      I have a few of those people where I work. It’s sickening! 🤮 Also, brown nosers, I can’t stand brown nosers! Lol
      I do not like confrontation but the older I get the more I realize I just don’t give a f**k!

      Im glad you have gotten to the point you aren’t willing to accept the negativity from shitty humans! Good for you!! 👏💪

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Wendy, laughing at your words “but the older I get the more I realize I just don’t give a f**k!” – I can assure you, I can totally ‘relate’ to that 😉 Just like my shopping experiences when people are ‘faffing around’ and blocking the aisle. I absolutely hate the ‘last minute’ buyers so I tend to shop the week before Xmas day, thank fk it’s done (today)……

        1. Wendy says:

          Asp Emp, lol. Omg, I get so annoyed going into stores in general anymore much less at Christmas!

          “ faffing around” 😂😂

          1. Asp Emp says:

            Wendy, ‘faffing around’ was quite a common ‘statement’ from sister…..when we shopped together years ago…..the ‘ditherers’ in the wrong place at the wrong time (LOL).

  4. Wendy says:

    Well, this is unrelated to this post but I’ll be damned if I did not just get a text from the devil himself! How the hell I don’t know, but it happened. I’m literally shaking right now!

    1. A Victor says:

      Oh no Wendy, I am so sorry! Have you changed your number?

      1. Wendy says:

        Hi AV, no but I guess I will have to now!

    2. Leigh says:

      How are you doing? Did you respond? That’s why its so important to block them. They slither back in unexpectedly. I hope you’re ok.

      1. Wendy says:

        Hi Leigh, I have him blocked from his old number. But, he texted from a new one. I deleted and blocked. I’m ok now. Thanks!

    3. Bubbles says:

      Dearest Wendy,
      Delete then block
      They constantly test you ….he’s not worth shaking over
      You’ve got this 💪
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      1. Wendy says:

        Hi Bubbles, I was pretty shaken to see he found a way to reach me. I guess it’s pretty easy to buy a cheap phone and call from a different number. I deleted and blocked it but it seems I’m going to have just change my number. Thanks for the encouragement! 😊

        1. Leigh says:

          Hi Wendy, I’m glad you deleted and blocked him and you’re ok now. They don’t need to buy a phone to get another number. They can just download an app and text you from the app with a completely different number.

          1. Wendy says:

            Leigh, thank you. I am technologically impaired I guess. I had no idea you could do that! Thanks for sharing.

        2. Bubbles says:

          Dearest Wendy,
          My pleasure lovely
          I didn’t like the thought of you shaking Wendy (I hope that was only an emotional reaction and not one of fear)
          They’re cunning relentless little buggas, we just have to be one step ahead and have a plan of action
          Mr Bubbles has a different phone to me and he’s always getting ‘suspicious spam alerts’ on his incoming calls, we both just delete n block all unsolicited calls
          On Facebook, I report blokes trying to ‘friend request’ women in the comments section time n time again … talk about harassment ….. obviously narcs !

          It’s a right pain in the butt to change your phone number, butt hopefully, it’s only the once ……image if you had to move 😱
          Thankfully, we’ve heard neither hide nor hair from the looney tune weasel, Mr Bubbles said ‘it’s funny how he’s just vanished into thin air’ …..poof !

          Hopefully yours will too 😊

          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          1. Wendy says:

            Thank you dear Bubbles, you are very kind. It was an emotional shudder. I’m thankful I don’t live in the same state as he does but I’m sure if he wanted to he could reappear at any moment. Praying this is his only attempt at a Hoover and he will disappear!

          2. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Wendy,
            Thank goodness he’s in another state…. another planet would be so much better 🤣😂🤣😂🤣
            Apparently, Mr Bubbles noticed the weasel has another mobile number from the latest email we received from the RSL. It appears he is ‘supposedly’ using it for club purposes only. Yeah right!

            His ex (mother of his child) can’t contact him at all

            I’d better keep an eye out on my phone now 😱
            If he does ring, we will just hang up and block the number
            Thanks for the warning ⚠️ Wendy
            These bloody narcs, always up to no good
            Hugs 🤗
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

    4. Joa says:

      What devil?

      A common malice imp trying to get to you 🙂
      Old gingerbread that gets bored 🙂

      What was your reaction to Wendy?

      1. Wendy says:

        Joa, yes lol. My reaction was shock and a feeling of dread. I deleted and blocked. I honestly didn’t think I would get a call or text from him again. HG knows better! The Hoover is real!

        1. Joa says:

          Wendy, I know this panic. Relax. Breathe 🙂
          He’s just a desperate man.
          Don’t give in to fear, that’s what he wants.

          You blocked. And goodbye, Mr. balloon. BOOM 🙂

          What a beautiful day today and what brisk air 🙂
          I don’t see any artificial balloons or bombing fighters in the sky 🙂 Only fabulously soft clouds, moving slowly and taking the most beautiful shapes 🙂

          Hold on bravely. Hugs 🙂

          1. Wendy says:

            Thank you dear Joa, I am trying. Watching those beautiful fluffy clouds and sinking into them. All is well now my friend.

            Hugs! 🤗

          2. Wendy says:

            Thank you dear Joa. I’m watching and sinking into those lovely soft clouds and all is well at the moment my friend. Feeling quite brave today! Tomorrow is another day.

            Hugs 💕

  5. A Victor says:

    The image for this article is beautiful, reading it is not, it literally sends chills down my back. 6, 13, 14, 25 said explicitly, others were expressed wordlessly, all by TTU. My dad didn’t use words, his silences were chilling, freezing really. And my ex used other means to keep me in line and gather fuel. It is interesting how they are all so different and yet achieved the same 4 prime aims.

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