Why the Narcissist Downgrades



“HG, I am decent-looking, have a good job, I am intelligent, caring, fun and interesting, I dress well, I am a dab hand at cooking and nobody has ever complained about my bedroom skills and he has left me for THAT! Why?!”

It is a refrain I have often heard.

Why, when the narcissist could have you, did he go and choose somebody who is clearly inferior to you in so many different ways?

What is so good about her or him?

Where have you gone wrong?

Why on earth has he chosen her over you?

Why has the narcissist downgraded?

This gives you the answer and it will not only help you understand, it will make you feel a whole lot better too.

Gain some relief for just US $ 4.99

50 thoughts on “Why the Narcissist Downgrades

  1. Lucycita says:

    Lol credits to whoever conceived the idea and created the image above 😂

    1. HG Tudor says:

      That will be me.

      1. Lucycita says:

        I believed that you would be the recipient and I was right.

    2. njfilly says:

      That’s actually matrinarc on Christmas morning.

      1. Truthseeker6157 says:

        She reminds me of a Bet Lynch / Hilda Ogden hybrid.

        That reminds me, there was a scene in Coronation Street where Stan fell through the ceiling and was completely white from plaster dust, just his blinking eyes in a chalk white face. Terrified me as a little kid. I had Stan nightmares for months after. Maybe years after actually, haha!

        I’ve always been a bit weird I think.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Only a bit?!

          1. Truthseeker6157 says:

            “ Only a bit?!”

            Haha, yeah, a bit!


        2. njfilly says:

          Oh? I don’t know those people or that show. Sorry you had nightmares, though.

          Are you weird? I think I am too, but I’m not sure.

          1. Truthseeker6157 says:

            Do you talk to your horses NJ Filly?
            Do they answer back?

            All I’m going to say. Haha.

          2. njfilly says:

            Oh no. This may be a bit awkward. I know you are only kidding.

            I was one of those children that rarely spoke. Even if I were in pain, danger, or had needs, I would not and could not speak. It caused many problems. Yet I spoke to my animals regularly, and I had full conversations with them. At the time I believed them to be full conversations, and I still remember them as full conversations. Nobody will be able to convince me otherwise. There were no horses involved at that time. I still speak to animals, but they no longer answer back in the same way. Although I do believe there is an unspoken, mental communication between us.

            At the age of approx. 12 I began to speak sporadically. As a teenager I had friends I could speak to, but I was usually silent. As I grew into an adult I began speaking more, and I had to speak to be employed. Now, there are occasions where I can be very vocal and animated in conversations, but for the most part I am quiet. There are also occasions where I go for extended periods without speaking, even if I am with people. The last 3 years I have experienced the most change in this area. The virtues of keeping your mouth shut is a virtue I have been blessed with.

            I understand you would never know this since we are on a blog and I don’t have to speak, I can write. I enjoy writing very much, and I believe I write very well.

            Thank you for your question, even in jest, as it gave me the opportunity to reveal something about myself and I believe this helps me.

          3. Truthseeker6157 says:

            NJ Filly,

            Thank you for sharing that with me. I was joking, but as an animal lover I also suspected that you would talk to them.

            Me too. I have only ever had dogs, but I have always spoken to them from being a kid through to this moment! If I meet a dog out walking, I’ll always speak to the owner but also speak to the dog. Animals know, they just do, they sense an emotion and respond to it.

            Now the weird bit. This started with my dad when I was young. He gave our dog a voice, always this same voice, so my mum might ask the dog to sit, my dad would answer in the dog’s voice “ Only if you give me a treat.” That kind of thing. I continued the tradition with my kids, they talk, the dog interjects or answers. Haha! Sometimes they have full conversations with him. I have said on here before I live in a mad house!

            Joking aside, animals can provide a lot of comfort, and a lot of love and most noticeably when we feel confused or a little lost or lonely. I still talk to Ralph (my dog), every single day. I’ll always talk to him, and like you, in his own way I believe he answers back. I’ll love on him, cuddle him, stroke his fur, but when I do I also consciously send my love out to him. It’s this that he responds to, the emotion, this is the communication part I think.

            If this makes us weird, then bring on the weird NJ Filly, that’s what I say. Long live weird!

            I would never suspect that you aren’t a big talker. Writing here, with the anonymity aspect and the acceptance of others on the blog, is something I find very therapeutic, I imagine you are similar and you do write very well.

            Thank you again for sharing your thoughts.


          4. njfilly says:

            I’m sure Ralph is adorable.

          5. Truthseeker6157 says:

            NJ Filly,

            Ralph is a schnauzer border collie mix we think. We rescued him from a kill shelter in TN. He is the scruffiest most loyal dog you could ever hope to meet. Even when I do his hair he messes it up straight after with his paws haha!

            I’m glad you found a way to have a conversation with your animals even if you decided for your own reasons that you couldn’t converse with humans. You must have needed them very much and they you.


          6. njfilly says:

            Wow, a schnauzer border collie mix. That’s an interesting combination!

            Thank you for your positive words.

          7. NarcAngel says:

            TS and NJ

            I’m amused at the irony of you two mulling over possibly be viewed as weird while in the company of many and finding clarity on a site run by a narcissistic psychopath.

            We’re not weird. They (outside the blog) are weird.

            Those women who write to prisoners and marry them are weird.

            It’s all about perception haha.

          8. HG Tudor says:

            I am not weird. I am effective.

          9. Sweetest Perfection says:

            You’re rare, not weird.

          10. HG Tudor says:

            Ultra rare.

          11. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Par excellence

          12. Sweetest Perfection says:

            NA, hahaha those hybristophiliac women! I may understand the attraction to the bad guy type, but, poor and incarcerated? Come on!

          13. njfilly says:

            Ha ha! True. Even if I am thought of as weird, oh well. I’m not going to do anything about it!

            I do wonder though, about a woman who would write to a man whom she has never met, claim her love for him, and want to marry him. Particularly if she knows he may have a questionable character. Is this a sign of mental illness, addiction to narcissists, or both?

          14. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Hi Njfilly! It’s been a while, I’m glad to see you back! Speaking of those women NA referred to… have you guys heard about the case of Jeremy Meeks? He was in prison for some criminal activity as a gang member. He became super popular thanks to his sexy mugshot which was posted publicly. After he was released he became a fashion model. Maybe those women write with that aspiration in mind?

          15. njfilly says:

            Hi Sweetpea! I hope you are well.

            I can’t believe this, but I think I have heard of Jeremy Meeks. Wasn’t he the black man with those gorgeous blue sexy eyes? Yes, he was very sexy. Hopefully he has a career now that will keep him out of trouble!

            I wonder, do they know what the inmate looks like when they are writing to him? If they are hoping for a Jeremy Meeks that is not likely. Wishful thinking I suppose.

            I think I prefer my men un-incarcerated. No, I know that I do.

          16. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Yes, that’s him. I don’t know if those women write to specific inmates having seen them previously. But if this is so, I think the tattooed tear under his eye would be enough to deter me from communicating with him.

          17. Alexissmith2016 says:

            I often tell my husband people think I’m weird, his response, “well you are weird, so don’t worry about it”. Hahhaha probably!

          18. njfilly says:

            Well, join the club!

          19. NarcAngel says:


            You are indeed most effective. I was referring to the perception of those unenlightened and outside of the blog viewing those of us here learning from, and grateful to the supposed “enemy”.

          20. Violetta says:

            Animals have been socializing me for years. They did a better job than most of the humans I encountered. Whether it’s weird or not, I consider it damned lucky.

          21. njfilly says:


            I agree. I am thankful to the animals that saved my sanity. Well, I think they did. This is what I am trying to determine. Not only did they socialize me but sadly, they were cleaner than the humans I was raised by.

            My father gave me a small violet in a cute tin pot for Valentine’s Day today. Unfortunately, he must have left it in his car overnight and it froze, so it was dead when he gave it to me. He is a middle lesser and I don’t think he is calculating enough to have done that on purpose. It’s just funny.

          22. Truthseeker6157 says:

            I think I might be both weird AND effective actually. (haha!)

            NA, you might want to check and confirm that next week though. This week is a particularly good week.

          23. Witch says:

            @ njfilly
            I strongly suspect those women are also narcissists

          24. njfilly says:

            Interesting, Witch. I never considered that. I guess those man are easy prey.

          25. Truthseeker6157 says:

            SP NJ Filly,

            I used to think the same about women writing to prison inmates then marrying them. “What the hell is going through their minds?” Post ensnarement with the online narc, I have to admit, I can kind of see what happens. Not that I would start writing to convicts, the narc found me online, but I imagine the dynamic works similarly.

            When I look back at myself at that point in time, I was lonely, away from family and friends, not fitting in to the manicured burb life in SC, isolated and going through a tough personal situation. The narc offered a form of escape. I closed my door at the end of each day, and this was who I talked to. Someone who seemed to understand me, someone who always answered when I called. So, I can see the similarities with these women. They’re lonely, looking for someone to listen and I think that’s the in for the interaction to take a hold of them. It’s circumstance and timing as much as vulnerability to a narc or psychopath influence.

            I’m now less scathing in my view of what on the surface looks like sheer idiocy. Sharing thoughts, hopes, dreams and escaping with someone through the written word can be highly addictive. It sounds nuts until you experience similar.

            I know the comment was made in jest, I don’t mean to lecture at all, it just happens to be something that I think I have a partial explanation for.

            Plus, there is the orange jumpsuit to consider. All men look good in orange. Haha!


          26. njfilly says:


            The worst decisions are made when acting on fear and loneliness.

            You made some valid points and I don’t feel lectured to. I must admit that in the past I also have been very judgmental toward women and men who would believe themselves to be in love with somebody whom they have not met in person, and only interacted with through messages. I am less judgmental now, and I understand it more, too, but some people do need to use their common sense. I try not to judge but I believe it’s a human reaction. We can keep the judgment to ourselves and use it to analyze the situation so we know both sides and don’t become victims ourselves.

            Although with convicts, that is a step beyond what you experienced. You already know that person is not law abiding, and there is no real hope for a future. Perhaps the women like that idea in particular. They will get all the attention since the convict cannot interact with the opposite sex much in prison. I don’t know, but I don’t think I would ever fall into that trap myself (knock on wood).

          27. Violetta says:


            “hybristophiliac.” Now, how can I leave narcsite when it educates me on so many things, as well as narcissism itself?

          28. Truthseeker6157 says:

            You’re welcome NJ Filly 😊

          29. Joa says:

            I am suprised, why are you surprised that you are weird? 🙂

            It’s perfectly normal in my real world. Perhaps because, as I wrote before, I live only in the empath-narc environment. We talk a lot with each other, learn from each other, attract and fight, we are fascinated with ourselves and we hate each other, we change fronts and directions, we are together and against each other. Independent and dependent.

            I have no “normal” friends, they are only distant acquaintances. Nice and at a distance. We have no common topics. They do not interest me as a personality, nor do they challenge me. That’s the truth. I have the feeling that they live in a different, limited world and cannot see anything that is happening and rolling right in front of their noses.

            Even now, when it is so hot, they cannot see the fighting and the storms going on that will affect their lives as well. Indifferent.

            As for the animals. Conversations with them, substitucing voices – that’s the most normal thing in the world. They have always been and will be a link between people. In my home, dogs are a platform for understanding and communication, the most effective even in severe cases. They fill needs and gaps (need for protection and care). They create a friendly, stabilizing atmosphere – even when dealing with empaths and narcissists.

            They need us and we need them.

            I must add that one of my dogs has a character like a crystal, steadfast, faithful, devoted, serious. And the other is corrupt, mean, jealous, cowardly but incredibly cheerful. I love them both amazingly!

          30. njfilly says:

            Hi Joa,

            I’m not sure if you are questioning me or Truthseeker.

            I like your comment, though. Particularly about needing interesting and challenging friends. I have no interest in people who live only on the surface. “Surface dwellers” I call them. I need to dive deep and see the unseen, and know the unknown, otherwise, what is the point? For me, there would be none. Just to live a comfortable, and content existence is truly not enough for me.

            I’m not really very interested in people. I don’t have many friends-by choice, only acquaintances, and I have to meet them up on the surface. I don’t like to be up there. It’s not real. It is a delusion. It is a play with characters, performed for our entertainment and distraction from reality. It is not for our benefit.

            I also have had experience with at least one dog that was mean and jealous, so possibly corrupt. Not cowardly, though, as she was by my side always and wanted to protect me from everybody and everything. I don’t understand why she was like that. I often wondered what may have happened to her as a puppy.

            I believe we are all connected. Everyone and everything that is alive on this earth and even the earth itself. We cannot separate, so what happens to one effects us all in many ways, some of which we may not be aware. I don’t understand why everybody can’t see this.

          31. Truthseeker6157 says:

            Joa, sorry for the late response to your comment.

            I love the way you cut to the core of things. It’s interesting the things that we discuss here and so openly, and you’re right, many of our empath quirks aren’t seen as weird or strange by our fellow empaths. Me giving my dog his own voice for example! I think it’s because we see why it’s done, see the thinking and benefit behind something like that. A normal wouldn’t. They’d just think it was weird that I was pretending to be the dog or, that I would never take to the stage as a ventriloquist!

            I’m the opposite to you. I’m pretty much surrounded by normals. They often don’t get the thinking behind behaviours. They take everything on surface value as you say. They don’t think behind a behaviour as we do. Maybe we had to do this when we were younger so it has become an automatic part of who we are. The normals likely didn’t so aren’t primed to look for the whys and the motivations behind things. Not their fault and not ours but I do very often feel like the weird one in the group! Like I’m operating on a different frequency.

            Weird doesn’t bother me. I’m comfortable in my own skin, it just frustrates me when other people don’t get it. If I explained they still wouldn’t get it, so I might as well bark at the moon! I won’t though. That would be weird.

            I have however found two new friends who I believe are empaths. They definitely understand me, one especially so. I’m loving the conversations I have with them and feel much stronger once I have seen them. It’s a first for me actually.

            It sounds to me like you have one empath dog and one narc dog. Trust you Joa! Haha!


          32. Truthseeker6157 says:

            NJ Filly,

            Thank you for your kind comment.

            Yes, me too, before the online narc I would have said “No not me, that would never happen to me.” Then, it happened to me!
            Agree, it is different to writing to a convict though. The red flag doesn’t really come much brighter, even if you don’t really know what a red flag is. Common sense should dictate that it’s a bad idea. In principle, the dynamic, how these women feel as they are drawn in, that I think I can relate to.

            Your comment about how we are all connected, I hold similar beliefs, I’ve commented on here before that I’m not religious but I am kind of spiritual. I describe it as believing in the balance of things. I have various beliefs about life and death, why we are all here and what happens after we die, but amongst those beliefs, I do think that we are all connected with nature and animals as a whole. Sadly I think humans got so busy and the world has become so noisy through technology that many have just lost the ability to connect. There’s a reason we empaths gain strength from being out in nature I think. We’re tuning in and grounding ourselves within life as a whole.

            Do you have Contagion within your school NJ Filly? I don’t often ask people about school or cadre, so please don’t answer if you aren’t comfortable with the question.

          33. NarcAngel says:

            Speaking of women writing to men in prison…..

            I have often thought it would be interesting. Nothing to do with romantic notions (no love devotee here), just to see what they would say. I won’t pursue it though. I don’t think. Well … not today haha.

            Seriously though, the case of Jason Moss (Movie: Dear Mr Gacy) should be deterrent enough. He started writing to serial killers for his thesis and got closest to John Wayne Gacy. Gacy got in his head and the correspondence progressed to weekly phone calls and to actually going to meet him. Gacy became more demanding and threatening along the way and Moss said he felt overpowered and psychologically manipulated into answering to him. He complied long past where he was comfortable but continued on as his initial curiosity and interest had turned to fear despite there being no real or intimate “relationship. Moss wrote a book and later committed suicide.

            Dangerous game.

          34. njfilly says:

            Interesting story about Moss. I have never heard of him.

            I still can’t understand it completely. I don’t believe I would ever fall victim to this, but I can’t say with certainty. I am not a love devotee either. Maybe that is what would save me.

          35. Truthseeker6157 says:


            I did chuckle there, I think it’s your avi that added to my image of you sitting at your desk writing to convicts. Haha!

            No, I hadn’t heard about Gacy, but that’s a very sobering tale. I can understand how that came about, the thesis idea and the quest for more knowledge from a seemingly amenable individual. I think the focus would be so much on your physical safety, that you wouldn’t realise it was your mental safety that was at so much risk. I’ll look it up, thanks for the suggestion.

          36. Joa says:

            TS, as you write – dynamics works similarly.

            Note, that we are doing exactly the same here, although neither of us know HG (he can be anyone!).

            Everything you wrote – about loneliness, about the form of escape, about talking to someone who understands, about sharing hopes and dreams. Same, right?

            These women work on the same principle. Add to that the willingness to fix, understand, unhealthy excitement, and you have the answer.

            Therefore, it is not worth separating yourself from these women with a thick line, as if we were better.

            We’re very close.

            And you have to be aware of this in order not to go too far.

          37. Joa says:

            Njfilly, I questioned both of you, talking to animals 🙂

            I even talk to the birds in the park – my daughter then rolls her eyes with embarrassment 🙂 Pffff! 🙂

            Today, with a colleague from work, we watched the jays and listened for cormorants, we watched the cloud – all during a 10-minute break from work, when we left the building. It charged us with energy for hours. We continued to smile as we said goodbye in the afternoon, and he and I continued to smile.

            Yes, I perfectly understand, what you mean by deep diving. A comfortable and contented existence is also not for me. I am constantly heading towards what is “difficult”.

            I like people and I don’t like 🙂

            I like to sensitize them. I like to show them the world from a different side. I like, when they stop for a moment and establish a thread of understanding. I like, when they relax around me and open up. I like, when they milden…

            I like, when they show me their perspective. I like, when we reach this state, where we understand each other only by looking into each other’s eyes. I like, when two short smiles work wonders and brighten my and someone day.

            This is true for me. It is the essence of life and the goal. I have such people around.

            I definitely agree with your last paragraph, that we are all connected. Yes, people, animals, trees, even stones. Once I wrote about it with TS. I see it as a shared energy, that constantly mixes, overflows and fills over time.

            I can see it too. My sister looks at the world in the same way.

            The things you write about are beautiful. It is worth for others to notice them as well, so you need to “infect” them 🙂

          38. Joa says:

            TS, please don’t apologize to me! My remorse grows even more, because I know, that I still haven’t responded to at least 10 of your comments 🙂

            I read all the comments in the threads, where I write (notifications) and most of your comments on other threads.
            I don’t always have time to write back immediately. And when I do it, it takes longer due to the unfamiliarity with the English language. First, I write in my mother tongue. Then I pass the text through the automatic translator. Then the other way round. Most often it turns out, that the translation is not adequate to what I wrote. So, I am looking for single words in your language, that would fit best. And when I can’t get the effect I want, I change my sentence. And all this is completely “in the dark”, because I don’t know English, heh 🙂
            I’m glad you can understand me somehow, but it all takes a certain amount of time.

            On the other hand, there would be too much of me here, if I could write in my own language. I have to shorten a lot – and that’s good 🙂

            I have no inhibitions in front of people. I know, that they initially perceive me as a little bit detached from reality. Most are surprised how, being so “naive” (they are wrong) I can occupy such a position professionally. I feel this surprise at first. But I’m not letting go. I do not hide and do not change (slightly). It is people that change. I like, when they start seeing me 🙂

            But there are other reactions as well. Some people are… afraid of me (?). These are the ones, who don’t believe I have no veils. They think it’s a cunning trick.

            Sometimes (rarely) there are people, who at the mere sight of me (without a word between us) burst with aggression and hatred. It is sad. It always touches me in some sad way…

            Recently, the HR representative at work asked me, what happened that I was late. I replied, that lying in the bathtub, I thought about the condition of this world 🙂 First she did not understand, then she looked into my eyes and started laughing at my “joke” 🙂 I smiled at her. I did not want to explain, that I ONLY told the truth 🙂

            TS, I am glad, that you are opening up to friendship. And that they are probably empaths. Great.

            Remember, what you wrote yourself – that you feel good in your own skin. It is very important and allows to survive the most difficult moments, even if sometimes something goes wrong 🙂

            Joking around:
            Yes, I also suspect the my younger dog is Narc. 1. He can’t stay alone (separation anxiety) 2. He is 9 years old and still behaves like a puppy 🙂

          39. Truthseeker6157 says:

            Hey Joa x

            Never feel under pressure to answer my comments to you. I know that you will read them and consider them and honestly, that’s enough for me. I don’t always expect a response to my comments, sometimes my thoughts might not resonate at the time, but they might resonate weeks or months later. That’s the beauty of the blog I think. Thoughts are laid down for others to read and consider, even others who arrive here after we’ve gone. I like the idea of that a lot. Not in HG’s legacy way, just in the way that what we talk about here today, might help people later, or make them smile, or simply help them to feel less alone.

            I didn’t realise the process that you go through before posting your comments, the effort that that must take. Your inner perfectionist showing through because you want to ensure that your thoughts are understood. It’s working, your thoughts are understood and your personality, the essence of you comes through very strongly and consistently. If I read you on a different blog, under a different name, at a different time, I’d still know it was you!

            You’re right, I have thought the same thing, we aren’t too dissimilar to women writing to psychopaths in prison. We write to a narcissistic psychopath here on the blog. Not directly as such, half directly, we know HG is reading and we acknowledge that he does so, whilst continuing our unfiltered conversations with each other, occasionally with HG himself. The key difference is motivation. We gain knowledge through being on the blog.

            It is interesting though, the blog dynamic itself is interesting. Overall, there is safety in numbers. There are so many comments, I doubt HG bothers to formulate a clear profile of each character. There’s no direct gain to be had from him doing so. The anonymity aspect that we all share provides a buffer also, there’s a natural distance. That said, I do think HG gets a general feel for his readers. I know for a fact he can spot a comment that’s out of character for a commenter, he can spot elevated ET, so he can place the comments in context of the personality of the writer. Going beyond that I’d have to question what that would provide in terms of the Prime Aims, when energy could be better spent securing higher potency fuel from people in his personal life.

            From the empath perspective, I think we add form and depth to the various voices we read here and I think we get a very distinct image of people in our minds. That’s just because we are genuinely interested, there’s no gain as such, we just do it automatically.

            I know what you mean with the quick smile or a shared look that contains a complete conversation. I even know what you mean by some seeing you as scary. It’s the honesty, and it’s also because some people recognise that you ‘see’ them. To the less honest in the world, that can be very scary indeed!


          40. Joa says:

            TS, I also like this idea of ​​leaving thoughts here 😊

            Yes, many people tell me, that they immediately recognize me by my style – although I speak professionally on completely different topics – but I often smuggle in “my” content 😊

            I appreciate this blog, the opportunity to communicate with You and of course the beautiful, disgusting, sad, terrible, wonderful, wise, hopeless, realistic, unrealistic, irritating, reassuring, metaphorical, interesting HG texts and stories. The whole range of emotions, we like it after all 😊

            I took, that HG is telling the truth (although I assume, that for various reasons not necessarily, but I like the plot 😊). I assume, that it is fairly anonymous here. I assume, that it is relatively safe here – when it comes to unwanted contact from the other side of the laptop or smartphone screen. However, I see another danger, that is associated with me. I do not want to and cannot very much enter this world. I do not want and cannot accept everything indiscriminately. I do not want and cannot allow anyone to control my mind too much (which we sometimes do). That’s what HG teaches us, right?
            Although it is a bit of a paradox, because the very statement “teaches”, implies some form of indoctrination 😊 Let’s say, that I allow the part of indoctrination, that suits me and does not threaten my comfort (or so I think!).
            The shortest thing – I have to keep myself! 😊

            Oh yes, everyone here has their own taste, smell and character. Although this is only part of the data, but it allows you to think 😊

            Yes, every human wears masks, lots of different masks. I try to download them often, as much as life allows me. And sometimes it happens, that people panic, when they see… an ordinary face.

          41. Truthseeker6157 says:


            You raise some really interesting thoughts here about how you view the blog and the various parts of the blog.

            Firstly you mention the whole range of emotions that HG’s writing brings out in us, I totally agree. His writing is hugely effective in drawing out emotion. I think the one piece that encapsulates that for me is the video ‘Can you feel me?’ It’s a very dark piece, and my emotions shift and move throughout. Even the accompanying image appeals to my sense of fantasy that is romantic but dark at the same time. I’m not a fluffy romantic person, but I do have an element of a different kind of romance in me.


            I see the blog in very distinct parts. We have this side of the blog. The teaching side, primarily focussed on ensuring accurate information is disseminated about all aspects of NPD. Here, I trust HG entirely. He is teaching and it is of the utmost importance to him that there is accuracy at all times. We can have differing interpretations of the articles and what they mean to us personally, but the information is the information. It’s logic all the way, like it or lump it. YouTube is similar. The dissemination of accurate information about narcissism, whether that be through the avenue of humour, current affairs, character analysis, or straight NPD explanation.

            Throughout all of this we can be certain HG is telling the truth. I don’t see this as indoctrination because really, the facts of narcissism are the facts. We do have a choice as to whether we apply the information or we don’t. That is individual choice and I have never had the impression that HG pressurises readers to apply the information. I think I would consider that as indoctrination, rather than “This is the accurate information. Apply it, don’t apply it, my role is to ensure accuracy.”

            Then we have the Knowing HG side. Discussed primarily on a separate part of the blog, with snippets communicated here also. This is where I switch and am far less trusting. As soon as we move away from the theory, the accuracy of teaching about NPD and we move to a personal account of HG’s personal life, this allows artistic licence. The account is given from only HG’s perspective, a perspective of a narcissist and psychopath, who readily admits to lying for his own entertainment and manipulating in every interaction within his private life. You said “I cannot accept everything indiscriminately.” I agree, me either. I’m naturally not a trusting person, I think perhaps you are more trusting but either way, I think it wise to exercise caution when looking at HG’s personal life and history.

            We are taught to think independently, use logic, look for evidence. When examining HG as an individual, when looking at his backstory, I cannot imagine that he would take this cold hard logic approach personally. He advocates that approach.

            “I cannot allow anyone to control my mind too much.” “I don’t want to, and cannot enter this world.”

            I understand what you mean here. HG told me once, “My role is not a paternal one.” I agree, it isn’t. HG’s teaching and the provision of this blog as a space to discuss what we are learning about narcissism, is conceivably also a place to practice that learning and to practice the application of that logic. The narcissist and psychopath trades off our first response to their story. The first response is an emotional one. We are encouraged to call on a logical response.

            Every person but especially the empath will bond better through a narrative than a list of logical points. When providing his story, HG provides a narrative designed to evoke an emotional response in the reader. Logic comes in a poor second for us in this scenario. The narrative might very well be true. Personally I see large parts as being true. I am however aware of the dangers associated with storytelling. There’s a reason why Budweiser uses their 30 second adds to tell a story. We buy in.

            Similarly, HG’s world view is through the lenses of his narcissism and psychopathy. Even if HG is telling the truth, I think we have to consider also, that it is the truth as he sees it through his own filters. Those filters also need to be considered when reading his story.

            Lastly and more personally, I am highly susceptible to online ensnarement. For me, it is sensible to dip in and dip out of HG’s personal story. To go into his world too far does elicit deep emotions in me and, it’s my responsibility to exercise caution with that. It isn’t HG’s responsibility to warn me.

            I think your approach is sensible Joa. I don’t see your approach or mine as anything other than representative of the understanding we have gained through HG’s work. I have the utmost respect for the way the blog is constructed to facilitate discussion and exploration of narcissism but also of the personality that is HG himself. HG is a truly fascinating character. It’s unlikely I will ever tire of trying to understand him better.

            I’m just glad he isn’t in prison and I’m not writing a thesis! 😂

  2. Louisa says:

    Downgrades, upgrades in my humble opinion it’s to have an impact on the previous supply, it’s so hurtful and degrading and intentional in a really nasty back hand stroke manner. Damn Narcissist s

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