HG, in cross examination analysis, you talk about assertion of control by agreement. That was a light bulb moment for me — that’s why my husband would agree with me at times, although something about that agreement felt like a manipulation (and that was before I learned about narcissism). Do you by any chance have a video or article on assertion of control by agreement?
I do not, but there are times where it suits the narcissist to seek something which also aligns with what you want and thus there is an assertion of control by agreement. From our perspective, you are actually according with what we want, not the other way around. This is why sometimes you will get what you want from the narcissist but understand that it is comparatively rare, not to be relied on and the various downsides of seeking it far outweigh the slim likelihood of getting what you want. Instead you operate GOSO and where applicable the use of the law to achieve an outcome, e.h. repayment of money, spousal support, child custody, return of property, restraining order etc.
I was rewatching this one.
Whenever I see Amber Heard turn her head, to direct her answers to the jury, I can’t help but view this as asserting control in the moment. Specifically, like a mini present silent treatment towards JD’s lawyer (I know it reads as a sign of disrespect as well) and even AH’s hairstyle seems to aid this. Like, ‘my hair hides you’ and, what I can’t see, can’t hurt me.
I find it all so comical.
Also, in watching JD’s legal team, they do not withhold their glee at certain admissions of Amber’s. It’s interesting. Even I know to withhold my reactions in court – even the positive ones – as did my lawyer.
You don’t celebrate until you’ve left the courthouse.
(Even in Zoom court, when my ex’s lawyer said he was motioning to be taken off record, I knew to keep a straight face and play it cool – until I was off camera and despite, internally, feeling completely thrilled.)
But what do I know? They seem very lax in US court (or is just because it’s celebrities? Or a long trial?). Here, you’re not even to chew gum (I recall a security guard literally running after a support person of mine, with a garbage can, as we made to enter the court room. She was chewing gum (the middle Mid-ranger type-A) and he needed her to dispose of it before entering the room!
And during the JD/AH trial, they are all drinking what looks like juice…soda? And chewing candies! Haha. It’s certainly different.
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HG, in cross examination analysis, you talk about assertion of control by agreement. That was a light bulb moment for me — that’s why my husband would agree with me at times, although something about that agreement felt like a manipulation (and that was before I learned about narcissism). Do you by any chance have a video or article on assertion of control by agreement?
I do not, but there are times where it suits the narcissist to seek something which also aligns with what you want and thus there is an assertion of control by agreement. From our perspective, you are actually according with what we want, not the other way around. This is why sometimes you will get what you want from the narcissist but understand that it is comparatively rare, not to be relied on and the various downsides of seeking it far outweigh the slim likelihood of getting what you want. Instead you operate GOSO and where applicable the use of the law to achieve an outcome, e.h. repayment of money, spousal support, child custody, return of property, restraining order etc.
HG,
I was rewatching this one.
Whenever I see Amber Heard turn her head, to direct her answers to the jury, I can’t help but view this as asserting control in the moment. Specifically, like a mini present silent treatment towards JD’s lawyer (I know it reads as a sign of disrespect as well) and even AH’s hairstyle seems to aid this. Like, ‘my hair hides you’ and, what I can’t see, can’t hurt me.
I find it all so comical.
Also, in watching JD’s legal team, they do not withhold their glee at certain admissions of Amber’s. It’s interesting. Even I know to withhold my reactions in court – even the positive ones – as did my lawyer.
You don’t celebrate until you’ve left the courthouse.
(Even in Zoom court, when my ex’s lawyer said he was motioning to be taken off record, I knew to keep a straight face and play it cool – until I was off camera and despite, internally, feeling completely thrilled.)
But what do I know? They seem very lax in US court (or is just because it’s celebrities? Or a long trial?). Here, you’re not even to chew gum (I recall a security guard literally running after a support person of mine, with a garbage can, as we made to enter the court room. She was chewing gum (the middle Mid-ranger type-A) and he needed her to dispose of it before entering the room!
And during the JD/AH trial, they are all drinking what looks like juice…soda? And chewing candies! Haha. It’s certainly different.
This was the best.
This was VERY good, HG, thank you 🙂