The Empathic Supernova

 

What is the Empathic Supernova?

In order to detail this phenomenon, it is first necessary to consider when it might appear and what is behind its appearance.

The repeated application of our manipulations is deployed for the purposes of maintaining control over you. This control reinforces our notion of superiority,  omnipotence and impregnability and enables us to draw fuel from our appliances and most of all you as our primary source.

I have made mention of the Empathic Group, the group which lies to the left of the empathic-narcissistic spectrum and within this group there are four schools of the empathic individual; the , the Standard Empath, the Co-Dependent, the Super Empath and the Contagion Empath.

The sustained application of the many and varied manipulations produces results for us. It also takes its toll on our victims. The Co-Dependent will cling on, desperate for the self-definition which manifests as a consequence of their ensnarement with us. They will soak up the abuse, the confusion and the control until they reach a point of breakdown. The cumulative effect of the silent treatments, the gas lighting, the physical abuse, the psychological trauma, financial mistreatment and sexual degradation eventually causes the limpet-like Co-Dependent to collapse into numbness, malfunction and potential hospitalisation. They gave and gave until suddenly they fell off the cliff and their fuel provision remained impressive on Monday and by Tuesday it had stopped. No longer capable of pumping out fuel, attending to our requirements and showering us with appropriate traits and residual benefits, this failure to function invariably brings about the discard of this individual. The disengaged from Co-Dependent, although distraught at the loss of the narcissist which they crave, is in no position to try to bring about the resumption of the relationship and thus, whilst we focus on their replacement primary source, they are allowed a period by which they can recover and once the lights switch back on again and the fuel starts to pump, the devaluation of their replacement has begun, so we come looking and hoovering for the Co-Dependent. Unable to resist, because of the nature of the hoovering and their own vulnerability, they are hoovered back in and the narcissistic cycle continues.

Whilst third parties may try to assist the Co-Dependent to see and understand what has happened to them, their own substantial need to connect with a narcissist means it is very hard to make them take notice and stay away from us. Unless physically removed and isolated, the Co-Dependent will drift back to us. If not the original narcissist, a replacement narcissist will invariably be found.

The empathic-narcissistic spectrum is a sliding scale that represents both empathic and narcissistic traits. On the far left the empathic traits are more numerous and stronger whilst the narcissistic traits are fewer and weaker. Move to the right and the empathic traits begin to lessen in number, their effects less evident and the narcissistic traits begin to increase and become more prevalent. Eventually, as one reaches the Narcissistic Group, on the right of this spectrum, the empathic traits have disappeared and all that remain are narcissistic traits which become more numerous and stronger the further right one goes within this Narcissistic Group.

Accordingly, with the Co-Dependent, he or she will have many empathic traits and they are strong in nature. Their devotion to love, their honesty, decency, excellent listening skills, positivity etc are most evident and contribute to create a highly empathic individual. The narcissistic traits are less extensive and the few that exist are generally weaker. Accordingly, this prevalence of empathic traits attracts and is attracted to the prevalence of extensive and strong narcissistic traits. They lock together, complementing one another and consequently the Co-Dependent is inexorably drawn to those within the Narcissistic Group, with next to nothing in terms of their own narcissistic traits to act as some kind of repellant.

The Standard Empath may also find themselves shutting down, but more usually they are prevented from reaching a position of complete numbing though the intervention of a third party. Sure enough the toll exacted on the Standard Empath is considerable and has damaging consequences, but, in general, they manage to avoid more often the fate of the Co-Dependent. Instead, rather than giving and giving until shut down occurs (as is the case with the Co-Dependent) the Standard Empath’s performance deteriorates in terms of fuel output in a more gradual fashion which means that when it dips below a threshold of acceptability for our kind, the Standard Empath is also disengaged from. Not so damaged as to be unable to function, the Standard Empath will endeavour to re-connect with our kind, having sufficient energy and ability to do so, but they will be shunned as part of this disengagement until it is time to hoover them. Unaware of what they have been ensnared by and with capabilities improved after a period of respite arising from the disengagement the Standard Empath is sucked back in by the narcissist and thus the narcissistic cycle continues.

The Standard Empath however may also realise that something is wrong, or assisted by third parties and more amenable to listening, takes notice of what these third parties are telling him or her. They have a moment of ‘awakening’ and with that realise that they must remain away from our grip, however hurtful and hard it may be and thus they eventually escape, putting distance between them and our kind.

The Standard Empath has numerous empathic traits and they are of strength but they are generally less in scale compared to the Co-Dependent. The Standard Empath will have numerous narcissistic traits but not especially strong in nature, but they will have more narcissistic traits than the Co-Dependent. Their status as a Standard Empath (along with the fact that there are more Standard Empaths than Co-Dependents) means that Standard Empaths become the bread and butter target for our kind. They too are attracted to us, not with the almost hopeless vulnerability of the Co-Dependent, but they remain not only attracted to our kind but a target.

Finally, there is the Super Empath. The Super Empath is an excellent provider of fuel also and comes with a confidence and a fieriness which proves most tempting to our kind. The Super Empath sees his or her role as helping, fixing, healing and brining goodness to those around them. They have considerable energy, they are capable and their capacity for sustaining our abuses also makes them a considerably attractive prospect. The Co-Dependent can sustain considerable abuse until suddenly, like a light being extinguished, that is it. The Standard Empath also can sustain our manipulations but their slide is slower and more gradual. The Super Empath, blessed with a vast capacity for empathy and goodness is also somebody who can sustain a lengthy campaign of abuse. There is no slide downwards with this individual like the Standard Empath. There is no sudden collapse like the Co-Dependent. Instead the Super Empath goes in to Supernova mode.

The trait make-up of the Super Empath is different from their cousins in the Empathic Group. Whereas the Co-Dependent has strong and many empathic traits with few and low narcissistic traits and the Standard Empath has a greater number of narcissistic traits  and fairly low narcissistic traits but more and quite strong empathic traits, the Super Empath has a different constitution.

The Super Empath has very strong and numerous empathic traits. He or she also has a significant number of narcissistic traits (more than the Co-Dependent and the Standard Empath but not as many as the Narcissistic Group) and they are stronger in nature than those experienced by the Co-Dependent and the Standard Empath.

This arrangement is not problematic. Liken the Super Empath’s narcissistic make-up to the light from a candle and their empathic make-up the light from a spotlight. The intensity of the spotlight is so bright that the candle light is barely noticed. Accordingly, the narcissistic element to the Super Empath does not appear. The Super Empath behaves in an empathic way and thus is a target for our kind.

There comes a time however when the sustained abuse and the awareness of the Super Empath reaches a critical point. Rather than switch off or slide into decline, the Super Empath will decide that enough is enough. In some instances, this means that the Super Empath will escape and follow a similar route to that of the Empath and distance themselves from the narcissist.

On other occasions they enter into Supernova mode. When this happens, the Super Empath will dim their empathic traits. This can only be dimming. The empathic traits cannot be shut off as they are wired into the empath’s dna. Moreover, this dimming can only continue for a period of time and is not permanent. The naturally strong empathic nature of the Super Empath means that it will blaze bright again.

However, when this dimming takes places, the gap between empathy and narcissism in the Super Empath lessens so that the narcissistic traits are more prevalent. They do not dominate nor do they take over, but they are allowed to ‘shine’. However, whereas in our kind the application of our narcissistic traits is unfettered since we have no empathic traits and thus these traits are directed in a malevolent, harmful and destructive manner, the Super Empath uses these unleashed narcissistic traits for ‘good’.

This means that they will fight back against our kind and remain in the relationship with us. They will shut off the fuel provision, they will engage in manipulation of us, having learned how to effect it form their accompanying journey with out kind. The Super Empath will wound and wound, striking blow upon blow against the narcissist.  It is worth pointing out that the Super Empath does not necessarily know that they are with a narcissist (they may only realise this later) but rather they know that something is very wrong in the relationship and it must no longer continue.

Thus when some people ask the question

“Can you become a narcissist from being with a narcissist?”

or

“Can I pick up narcissistic traits from my experience of being entangled with a narcissist?”

The answer remains no.

But, if you find that you are exhibiting such traits and you are deploying them against the narcissist, what has happened is that you are allowing your inherent narcissistic traits to have greater prominence. You keep them under control and you are not allowing them to harm or hurt innocent parties, but rather you are applying them against the narcissist in order to strike back. You always had these traits, you have not gained them by being with us, but what you have learned is how to manipulate from being with us and now you are turning those manipulations against us.

The effect against us is varied.

The Lesser Narcissist will discard immediately with a display of ignited fury as he seeks to escape the turning of the tables. He will need to get away from this empowered Super Empath and find a new primary source straight away. He wants to shrink from this blazing  supernova of power which is causing him considerable difficulty through the cessation of fuel and the wounding from repeated criticism.

The Mid-Range Narcissist will find himself in a tormented loop as he tries to assert control. He will not comprehend truly what is happening. He will not want to lose the Super Empath owing to the fuel provision, but he is finding that his ability to manipulate and the reasonable degree of calculation that he has, is being sorely tested. He will try to assert his control through passive aggressive means, even pleading with the Super Empath to stop and ‘why can’t you be good to me again’? He will roll out the pity plays and sympathy cards in order to try to achieve superiority again. However,  either the Super Empath decides to escape and leaves the Mid-Ranger in a confused and bewildered state or the Mid-Ranger slinks away and discards,unable to sustain the fight and needing a new and far more compliant primary source.

The Greater Narcissist will rail against this insurrection and fight back. He will draw on fuel from alternative sources (usually the IPSS or IPSSs he has in the wings along with fuel form those NISS who are his inner and outer circle friends). He will relish the challenge shown by the Super Empath and a real battle of wills ensues as each combatant deploys manipulation after manipulation against one another. This hammer and tongs clash of the  titans sees the Super Empath applying what they have learned, similar to the apprentice turning on his or her master, as the old hand seeks to slap down the irreverent upstart. The Super Empath may withdraw and escape, satisfied that they have made their mark and scarred the Greater. The Greater may ultimately recognise that only a stalemate (for now) can ensue and breaks off, discarding the Super Empath and focusses on the acquisition of a new primary source (or more likely the promotion of an already ensnared IPSS). The Greater however will not leave matters there. A note will be made to rejoin battle in due course and bring the Super Empath to heel.

Thus the Empathic Supernova is when the Super Empath determines that enough is enough and he or she reduces their empathic traits, allowing the narcissistic traits to come to the fore and in so doing he or she trains their sights on making life difficult, miserable and awkward for the narcissist. This is why our kind proceed with caution with the Super Empath. Their capacity for sucking up the abusive devaluation and their impressive fuel provision is tempting indeed, but reaching the critical point and causing the ignition of the Empathic Supernova can have dire consequences for our kind.

Not for me of course. I relish the challenge and the assertion of hegemonic dominance. Obviously.

 

Listen to the Empathic Supernova

24 thoughts on “The Empathic Supernova

  1. Duchessbea says:

    HG,
    Great article. The irony of the narcissist never fails to amaze me. I know you love to be the dominant one in the relationship, but if you didn’t act the bollocks with your Empath and left those behaviours for outside the relationship, I know, you know, that if you didn’t act up in the relationship with an Empath and treated your Empath like the Queen she is, you would be treated like a King, an Emperor, person of extremely high value and respect, and you would be showered with incredible Love every hour of everyday that you were in the relationship. You would be swimming in so much fuel, you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. In particular with a SE, the premium fuel you would receive on a daily basis, HG, you have no idea how incredible you would feel. Your only problem would be trying to keep up the act as an SE would be onto to you straight away at the slightest drop in your behaviour. Once that happens its ‘leave your key and close the door behind you’ very soon after. Although, I have to say, I am very impressed that you are treating Shieldmaiden with respect and not playing up. Has our beloved HG found the woman for him? There will be a lot of broken hearts if you have. But, I am delighted for you that things are going very well with Shieldmaiden.
    Best,
    DB

    1. Contagious says:

      HG: your relationship with Shieldmaiden has been awhile. Why? Have you found the key to narc-empath long term relations. Why and what are you doing to make it work? I wish you both happiness. Just curious.

    2. JB says:

      DB,

      If HG is a narcissist, then the idea that all is well with SM because she is the right woman for him won’t come into it. HG, by his own admission, shows us what he wants to show us. How do you know all is well with SM? How do you know that she even exists? Because HG has told us so? The thing I have come to truly accept over the past 2 years is that people aren’t always what they claim to be. And that, I learnt as a result of HG’s teaching.

    3. JB says:

      DB,

      I just posted a reply to what you wrote here, but don’t think it went through so will attempt to resend…

      What I said was that if HG is a narcissist, then the idea that things are going well with SM because of the notion that she is the right woman for him won’t come into the equation. It just can’t happen, and it would be somewhat idealistic to think that it could (sadly). HG, by his own admission, shows us what he wants us to see. How do you know things are going well with SM? Because HG has told us? How do you know she even exists? The thing I have come to truly accept over the past 2 years is that people aren’t always what they seem. HG himself was the one responsible for this.

    4. NarcAngel says:

      DB
      It reads as empath romantic thinking to suggest that if HG didn’t “act the bollocks” that he would be “showered with incredible love every hour of every day” while in a relationship with an empath. Empaths are people and not magical beings, so this is an unrealistic representation and expectation.

      Also, I know that you only mean to express your hope for HG to find lasting happiness with SM (and many do), but it is dangerous and erroneous to suggest that because someone is simply still in a relationship with a narcissist that they are being treated with respect, and that the narcissist is not acting up. Some narcissists and empaths stay locked in the dynamic for years, but that does not mean things are going well.

    5. Anna says:

      Excellent post Duchessbea, and so very true. I catch my partner enjoying upsetting me. It is like they get a sadistic thrill out of it. I can never understand why anyone could derive pleasure out of another person’s suffering, but this seems to be the way those with NPD are made. After the Golden Period, when the devaluation begins it is almost like you married Mr Jekyl and are now living with Mr Hyde.

  2. jordyguin says:

    HG, but i wonder what about the Contagion Empath?? How does their Supernova look like??
    Where can i find more information about Contagion type specifically?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      There is more work on the Contagion Empath in the pipeline.

      1. jordyguin says:

        Ok! Thank you! 🤍
        (I found a little bit more on Contagion in your videos meanwhile:))

      2. Joa says:

        Yes Yes Yes! 🙂

        1. Asp Emp says:

          Joa, is that you jumping around the room in excitement? 🙂

    2. Asp Emp says:

      jordyguin, I recall using the eruption of Mt St Helens as a way of describing the “supanova” I experienced. The slow build up, the explosion, followed by the long ‘abating’ of the pent up emotions, namely anger. Regardless of what it was, it was immense and long 🙂

    3. jasmin says:

      Hi Jordyguin,
      See: https://youtu.be/GmqGoCY9RlI

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Hi jasmin, thank you for the link, even though I have seen this video before, it was good to re-read it 🙂

    4. Contagious says:

      HG will ( hopefully soon but busy guy) figure out the Contagion response. But as a contagian who has gone NC with narcs… it’s this darkness and heaviness that you repel from. You accept with best intentions ( ET ) but then “ they happen” and you naturally feel inside like you arrested getting sucked in a black hole. It feels almost evil. They show themselves in your subconscious and it pushes forth to your conscious to the point of intolerance. It’s this negativity and this destructive pull that tries to break you from your true self. You become very aware. You know. Their pleas, charm, bullying, no longer is heard. It falls on deaf ears. Done. You see them clearly …. in time. Your gut screams. You just can’t tolerate it anymore so you break all ties. Move to the Light. To you. To a healthy balance away from that dark energy. Not sure if this makes sense. HG will do better. No doubt.

      1. Contagious says:

        Also you learn their secrets their weakness but you never cause harm. You could. But if you did you would harm yourself.

  3. jordyguin says:

    Thank you!!! This article is very relatable. Explains a lot to me now!

    🌟Congratulations on channels return!!! „They attempted“ to silence the source for truth being spoken out, but only reached the opposite🌊🌊..„With the Force, everything is connected and nothing is an accident.“

    A good day :))

  4. leelasfuelstinks says:

    My Patri Narc had indeed a hard time with me! 😂 Now I´m pretty much disengaged from, as he´s not a an iota interested in me anymore. 😂 I use to call up sometimes because of my mom who is not a narc but a Co-D. Anyways, this also means that I very probably may be carrier of the NPD gene/s. As the Co-D (mom) was on the way to narcissists but the development of NPD stopped, they must have the genetic upset for NPD. Patri Narc is a full blown NPD. I must be carrier! Really a Super CARRIER Empath 😂

  5. insidiousmarriagetoxicfuel says:

    In the midst of this very transition now! I am notably impressed by your accuracy ! You, HG, are remarkablely GIFTED. BRAVO!!!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

  6. Bibi says:

    What I thought was the Supernova was actually the Cliff Fight Back. (That I did with the Mid Ranger.) The scariest thing is that he is someone I had in my life for 7 yrs, yet I never met him in person, and yet he had complete hold on my emotions. Was thinking today that now he’s been out of my life longer than he was in it.

    The good thing to come from it is now knowing what to look for, not repeating my same patterns, and not allowing my emotions to run the show.

    I used to think he was an Elitist, but given you ranked Putin as a Somatic, I’d have to say he was more somatic than elitist. Somatic Middle Mid Ranger. Yuk.

    1. A Victor says:

      That’s what I had too, you’re right, yuk.

      I agree about changing patterns etc, very important.

  7. Jess says:

    Waterworks.

  8. Asp Emp says:

    Woo Hoo!! That MRN was fked by the time I was done !! (laughing)

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