The False Exaggeration of the Victim
We would struggle without those twin helpers of exaggeration and embellishment as we make our mediocre achievements impressive and our decent accomplishments spectacular. Good for all occasions, a healthy and liberal sprinkling of exaggeration makes us far more appealing and alluring. Embellishing what I have done ensures I look far better than you and means that I remain the superior individual. Like salt and pepper at meal times, exaggeration and embellishment are never far from our kind. We make everything bigger, better, bolder, brighter and more brilliant. We love to magnify and multiply in order to convey just how great we are, yet, generous souls that our kind are it would not be fair if we did not allow you an opportunity to be seen to exaggerate and embellish, to make a mountain out of a mole hill and blow things out of proportion. Of course, when we provide this opportunity to you, it has none of the self-aggrandizing effects of our behaviour for ourselves but it used as an opportunity to make you seem hysterical, unreliable and someone who is trying to pin the blame on us unfairly. We use exaggeration to inflate what we are but also as a means of attacking you. Here are twenty examples of using exaggeration and embellishment to undermine you.
- You are always hypersensitive
- You always over think what has happened
- You always read too much into what I say
- You are always paranoid
- You always see things which are not there
- You always make things up up
- You always have to be melodramatic don’t you?
- You always make out your are iller than you are
- You always over react
- You always make a fuss over nothing.
- You always lose your sense of perspective.
- You always take things too far at times
- You always go over the top with things
- You always press the panic button too soon
- You always make something out of nothing
- You always respond in a disproportionate manner
- You always get over excited about things
- You always lose your sense of proportion
- You always put two and two together and making eight
- You always jump to conclusions
When you hear these comments being made by us, you should become aware that we are using such a comment to deflect what you are saying by trying to trivialise it by suggesting you are exaggerating its effect or importance. The use of phrases such as these are stock tells by us that you have landed a blow against us and we need to reduce its impact promptly. The easiest way to do this is to not only diminish the import of what you have said but then to make you question your own behaviour by making the conversation about you, rather than us. This will also provoke you by frustrating you. You are being denied the opportunity to advance your agenda and this will increase your emotional response. This not only gives us fuel, it also means that you lose sight of your point as you are derailed by conducting the discussion in a logical fashion as you are pushed by us into the territory of emotion. Once emotion has taken hold of your thinking we are far abler to exploit this to our advantage. Recognise these comments and understand their significance when you are engaging with our kind so you are able to withdraw from or neutralise their effect.
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My mother, who I think was a LMRVICTIM narcissist and my current MLSOMATIC I’m dealing with, both have said I’m overly sensitive, take things to heart too much, overthink too much, I’m overly paranoid, scared of everything, too quiet, too loud, too talkative, too this, too that…it’s a wonder I’m not licking windows and singing nursery rhymes…I used to get hurt by what my mother said to me, as a child. When I was a teen, I would backtalk her and get slapped across the face, or punished with a belt, or fist. She lost her control over me, when I was about 20. She tried guilt and triangulation to gain control of me , when I was an adult. Crying to my dad about how she misses me and I won’t come around to look through photo albums with her. I felt bad, when my dad would tell me this, but I knew she would just use time with me to hurt my feelings and fight with me verbally. Dad didn’t understand that, he didn’t see her manipulative side.
The MLSOMATIC, I deal with his attempts at manipulating me by verbally fighting with him. I know now, from HG, that it’s still playing into what he wants, fuel. I have a hard time not fighting back with him. He just pisses me off so much that my emotions flare up and explode….the lovely Geyser emotions I have…joy, happy, happy, joy….I’m so used to fighting that it didn’t occurred to me that life doesn’t have to be like that. I’m glad I’m 50% Savior, HG. I think being that much Savior has allowed me to stand up and fight my whole life so far and I’m not afraid to throw punches and this mouth… 😄 I got slapped alot for my mouth growing up. I don’t mean to laugh about that, but my stubbornness and sarcastic humour has made me one pain in the ass to fight with….just ask the MLSOMATIC I’m dealing with. He tells me I’m a pain in his ass because I won’t listen to him, or do what he says. I tell him, No, I’m not doing that because it doesn’t feel right and we argue about it. I get pissed off and he gets negative fuel from me and then he walks away. I see it so clearly now, HG, after reading your book, FUEL. I see a lot so clearly now….even the LMRSOMATIC from last year. Thanks HG for opening my eyes more. Xx I appreciate your work and how you’re helping me.xx
I can’t stress enough how important I find this information, HG.
Very validating.
Having grown up with a Type B Middle Mid mother, they are experts at this, they do lots of eyerolling to accompany the “Ah, you always say that!”. Can be rather damaging for children. Often one can’t tell whether they are being ironic or not, at a given moment. When I was small she only did it to my dad and my grandma, later she did it to me as well.
Thanks for your honesty and insight…. it’s curious that you want to shield empaths.
Tom,
Go to HG’s video, WHY IM DOING THIS? The answer is there.
Yemen