Knowing the Narcissist : Letter to the Narcissist No. 24
Dear Narc,
No It isn’t a typo! It is the name I call you now! Please don’t try to understand it, you never will ! Even if you do know what a narcissist is, you would never believe you are one!
This letter is very difficult for me to write, not because I still have feelings for you! Actually it is the opposite, I feel nothing for you!! I have to admit you did a number on me! You hurt me both mentally and physically! You took the little bit of confidence I had in myself and destroyed it and if that wasn’t enough, you smeared my name, you used the pictures that you and I had taken in private and showed it to people convincing them that I was stalking you, that I was crazy!
You made me feel so ashamed and embarrassed! I couldn’t hold my head up any more!! You destroyed and broke me!! Knowing that should make you feel quite powerful indeed! To me you are pathetic!
Why did you do it?! Don’t answer that! I know why you did it! You were afraid that I would tell people what you were hiding inside of you all your life! You were afraid that your family would be ashamed of you, that your new women wouldn’t want anything to do with you!
You did what you thought you had to do to protect yourself! But you see I would have never hurt you in that way! That is not what I do to people who I care about! I used the word care because I did care about you! What I realize now is that I never loved you! I liked the attention you gave me, I even thought it was love at one time, not anymore!
It took me hitting rock bottom and actually wanting to take my own life to find the help, knowledge, and support that I needed! No I didn’t end up at a shrink’s office! I found a man and a group of people that got me through it! He is an amazing man and a wonderful writer and teacher!
The group is just like me! They are wonderful,compassionate, loving people who were hurt by people just like you! Shake your head and call me crazy all you want! The truth is you are a narcissist! Actually a mid range narcissist! Lol that should hurt! You are not even the best narc you can be! There is a group above you! But again you will never believe or understand this!
You have a pattern that I have figured out! You will marry this woman and she will have your child, just like your other two wives did! And just like your other two wives did, she will wait until you are away and she will leave you!!
Once again you will ( in your eyes ) be the victim! Poor you who has done so much for her! Once again you will be on the hunt! Warning to you! Do not try to contact me ever again! I am done with you! I have found myself again and nobody will ever hurt me again! I have seized the power that you so desperately crave! Ironic isn’t it?! I think it’s hilarious! LMFAO!
Good bye!
16 thoughts on “Knowing the Narcissist : Letter to the Narcissist No. 24”
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Narcissists are not worthy of heartfelt letters, not even when you don’t feel anything anymore for them. However, writing is therapeutic, and I say if it helps you to write a letter to the narcissist , then by all means proceed for your own good.
Strongly worded letter. It’s so good that you found HG’s work, FM1T 🙂
Love this FoolMeOneTime! Especially the part about being only mid range, I’ve thought this also about mine. Nice to see it in writing!
AV and ASP Emp
Every time I see that letter I cringe at the thought of how angry and hurt I was. My famous exclamation marks throughout most of my correspondence on here. I’m not angry anymore or hurt, in fact I’m happy it ended the way it did and that I was blessed to find HG. By finding H G I was not only able to learn about narcissists, I was given the opportunity to learn about myself as well. I was told by someone once that I should stop my consults with H G, I was also told that he was manipulating me and that I made him my narcissist, because I was of course a codependent. I ignored that comment just as I have learned to ignore a lot of things in my life. When I first found H G I never dreamed that finding him would help not only then but also prepare for now! I’m the last 7 months I have been living alone for the first time in my life. If it wouldn’t be for H G and his help and knowledge I would not be getting through this as well as I am. This is where learning about myself was even more important then learning about the narcissist. I will never leave H G or stop spreading his knowledge to others. I also will never leave this blog. I especially love reading about the strength and knowledge each of you gain by being here. Xxx
Hello FM1T :-). I understand what you mean by how you feel / think when you re-read what you wrote in your original letter, you wrote how you felt / thought back then. I did not ‘cringe’ when I re-read my letter, I laughed at something I said and did feel sadness at recalling my experiences but felt relief because of the understanding about narcissism & my past (and, as you say, learning to understand myself). Part of the sadness was how my father was treated. Within around half an hour, I had “processed” that ‘trigger’ and gone past it.
The person who “advised” you to stop consulting with HG obviously does not understand, may not have experienced what you did in your past life. HG has made it very clear that he does not manipulate anybody who uses his work ie on KTN site.
Like narcissists, their schools & cadres do not ‘change’ during their life-times, similarly for empaths (their schools / cadres). The difference is, that empaths can learn to manage their ET / LT and that is what you have done / are doing.
Well done, FM1T, on achieving something that maybe many people do not achieve – that is to live alone. In my view, it is a key thing to do this because there is the choice to “remove” distractions within your own environment (unless one has the misfortune to have narcissist neighbours! The ones I had have long gone 🙂 ). You say it so clearly “This is where learning about myself was even more important then learning about the narcissist”, so you do understand why I found it easier to progress with my own journey.
Good to read that you are still around and thank you for an update 🙂 xx
Hi FM1T
“I especially love reading about the strength and knowledge each of you gain by being here”.
Same. Especially happy to read that you are well, and that you continue to exercise that strength and knowledge for yourself and be it for others.
NA
Hi NA
I always look forward to reading your comments on the blog. I’m happy you are still here to offer your advice and perspective. Yes, HG is the star of the show, but without people like you on here it wouldn’t be the same.
Thanks for staying NA!
😘xxx ( haha, I had too. I know how how much you love being mushy! )
“I’m the last 7 months I have been living alone for the first time in my life. If it wouldn’t be for H G and his help and knowledge I would not be getting through this as well as I am. This is where learning about myself was even more important then learning about the narcissist.”
Good for you FM1T!
Hello WhoCares. ❤️
Hello FoolMe1Time. 💚
Hi FM1T, I am often embarrassed when I read something I’ve written some time before, my thoughts, emotions, understanding etc change so much with certain topics. But your letter here, though you’ve grown since, is still a wonderful marker for those of us less far along in the process. Thank you for allowing it to be published.
If someone told me to stop consulting with HG I would probably stop consulting with that person! He has helped me beyond any one else I’ve known in my life! Literally. To figure out who I am is a huge piece of what he’s done for me also and I too am eternally grateful to him for that. I have been on a pause in consulting while dealing with some personal things but I will be getting back to them ASAP, and can’t wait!
It is so encouraging to hear about your success, thank you for sharing that. I don’t know if I will like to live alone, I never have. But I look forward to finding out! And I agree, reading about other’s growth is so encouraging and knowing that we’re not alone in our work to become better is such great support, I’ll likely never leave the blog either.
A Victor
Thank you for the kind comments. As far as the person who told me I should stop consulting with HG, I know longer speak to that person. I have so many things to still work on, HG has always said I am a work in progress! I honestly think the hard work has just begun for me. I can tell you one thing though, there’s no looking back. In for a Penny, in for a pound. Xx
Hi FM1T, you’re welcome. I am surprised that your hard work is just beginning but also glad to hear you’re ready for it. You will do well, especially with HG by your side. Keep us posted, if you have time and inclination, on how it is going. My thoughts are with you!
A Victor
When I say my hard work is just beginning I don’t mean the first part was easy, not all. Now I am strictly dealing with myself, I’m a codependent and attracted ( addicted ) to narcissists, I also was in a trauma bond relationship. It’s tough understanding all of that and figuring out how or why I ended up like this in the first place?! I’m not sure how much HG can help or direct me anymore, he has done so much already and with his knowledge has provided me with the tools I need to go forward on my own. I also know if I need him he is only a consult away. Do you know the roller coaster that a lot of us go on with the narcissist? Well I’m on a roller coaster right now with myself, all of the ups and downs, but I know the ride will end and I will get off perhaps with wobbly legs, but I will get off. Take care of yourself A V! Xx
Oh FM1T, I see. You will be in my thoughts, I have been on that personal roller coaster for 2 years, it is something for sure. I have all confidence that you will do well. I am thankful you have been here through my process, if there is anything I can do as you go through yours, I am here. Stay strong, stay out of the emotional sea. You’ve got this! 💕
Thank you very much A Victor! 💞