Knowing the Narcissist : The Narcissist´s Conditional Asterisk
Ordinarily, all you would see above, would be the words ‘I love you’. You would always fail to notice the huge asterisk next to those words.
This is the Narcissist’s Conditional Asterisk.
Everything the narcissist says or does has this asterisk next to it. Except you never see it.
If the words or actions of the narcissist appeared on a piece of paper, the Narcissist’s Conditional Asterisk, would always accompany those words on that piece of paper.
You see, if you turned this piece of paper over, you would discover the footnote to the Narcissist’s Conditional Asterisk.
You never knew about the existence of this footnote. This footnote is why you could not understand why the narcissist said what he said and did what he did.
Fortunately for you, you are now being given access to what this footnote states.
If you turned over the piece of paper to find this footnote, this is what it states every single time :-
“The words or actions described overleaf are subject to the following. They can ( and invariably will) be revoked at any time, for any reason (and/or without reason) howsoever I choose and without communication of the revocation to you, although I did communicate them to you (even if I did not) if such maintenance of communication is necessary.
The words and actions mean precisely what I mean and not what you think they mean, but they might mean ‘a’ but if I want them to mean ‘b’ then they will mean ‘b’ (save where they need to mean ‘a’ or ‘c’ or possible ‘a’ and ‘c’ ) and they never mean what you think they mean, but I will not tell you that and of course I do not have to tell you that.
If the words and/or actions refer to a future event, then there is no guarantee or even likelihood that this future event will happen, in fact there is no future event (unless I decide there is a future event) and if you make reference to this future event I am able to deny it without any liability consequence or accountability and you are quite simply deranged and deluded for referring to it. The future event may come to pass if I deem it necessary, but it most likely will not.
The words and actions are completely true (from my perspective, not yours) as of the moment of issuing them but will disappear into the ether approximately one second thereafter and if I wish to resurrect them I shall do so, but on such terms and conditions as I see fit, without prejudice to my rights and entitlements and with extreme prejudice and (if necessary) malice aforethought with regard to you. You have no rights, I am under no obligation and you have no right of action based on these words and actions (which of course were never said or done, unless I decide they were said or were done), there is no right of appeal and no basis for you relying on these words and actions although I expect you to rely on them in order to ensure your comply with your obligations towards me with regard to the fulfilment of The Prime Aims.
Should you endeavour to make reference to these words and actions in circumstances which do not accord with my need for control and the provision of the Prime Aims, then such words and actions never existed and you are quite simply crazy to ever suggest that they existed. No, this is not gas lighting, you have been reading too much into the situation and picking up terms you do not understand, so you should not worry your pretty little head about such matters and sit down and shut up. NOW.
Any attempt to rely on the words and actions for any purpose which I deem contrary to my interests is an act or treason, sedition and absolute disloyalty on your part and you will be immediately tried, judged and sentenced by me in the High Court of My Rules and subjected to an appropriate response in order to ensure that your sedition is both punished and quashed. Any attempt to relay these words and actions to a third party for the purposes of support or contradiction of my Absolute Rule is a further act of treason, sedition and absolute disloyalty and will be met by a further immediate trial, judgement and sentence by me in the Even Higher Court of My Rules and will result in your punishment and smearing to said third party. I reserve the right to try, judge and sentence the third party on whatever grounds I deem fit in order to maintain control over you, the third party and him over there as well.
You can absolutely rely on what I have said, have done, or will do because I need you to be conned into such reliance, but I immediately withdraw the words and actions (without prejudice to my right to immediately reinstate them and maintain that they were never withdrawn in the first place) whenever it is necessary and appropriate for me to do so. As always you have no recourse against me for such withdrawal (although there was never any actual withdrawal, don’t you remember? You don’t, I told you that you were losing your mind, you need to get some help and see somebody).
The moment the need for control has been established by the saying of the words and/or the doing of the deeds/actions overleaf then the words will no longer be acted on and will melt into nothingness and the deeds/actions will no longer be maintained and will similarly vanish into the ether.
It is neither an excuse or reason with any validity whatsoever to claim that you did not know about this footnote and the terms and conditions contained within. You are irrevocably bound by this footnote and the power of my asterix (whereas I am neither bound at any time) and to claim you did not see it, did not know about it and/or did not understand it, is quite simply pathetic and you should be ashamed of yourself. I don’t even see what I see in you to say the words (which I may or may have not said dependent on the needs of The Twin Lines of the Narcissistic Defence) and/or do the deeds/actions (which I may or may not have done dependent again on The Twin Lines of the Narcissistic Defence).
This footnote represent the entirety of the applicable terms save those which I deem necessary to make-up and add as and when is required to further assert or maintain control over you. Those terms remain equally valid and apply retrospectively to a time at my absolute discretion. There are no waivers, exemptions, statutory safeguards or common-law loopholes that apply to this footnote (save those generate by me and for me).
This footnote is to be interpreted in accordance with English, Mandarin, Swahili and/or Narc and/or any other language including Nonsense, Gibberish, Word Salad and Circularity.
This footnote is subject to the jurisdiction of no courts other than those of my invention.
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2 thoughts on “Knowing the Narcissist : The Narcissist´s Conditional Asterisk”
The footnote aspect of this reminds me of a technique a friend encouraged me to try, when she realised that a year on I had kept and was reading the messages from and to the narcissist I was in a relationship with.
The idea of interpreting what the person is actually saying, opposed to the words read on the screen.
She encouraged me to copy a message to a word doc, both the message from him and my reply. Those words stayed in black text, but then I was asked to write in red text underneath each sentence what the narcissist and I may have actually meant, that was not actually said in written/text form.
Example from the early months before we lived together ( golden period – what’s that ..lol )
Message reply from the narcissist 9 hours after I initially messaged in the morning wishing him a good day out with his friends. And reminding him of the lunch date we had arranged for some time together at the weekend. There was even some praise in there, so positive validation galore.
His response –
Hi Evelyn, how are things going? I may have to go out of town for a few days from Friday, so lunch may need to be rescheduled, I will know by Friday.
-red text interpretation- I am trying to exert some more control over you, again by threatening something that you want to do and is of value to you. Putting in some unknown variables to cause uncertainty and upset you. And because I just don’t care!
Narcissist continued message- I wondered if you wanted to go out tomorrow night, to the pub in town if you are free? No problem if not. Xxx
-red text interpretation- I want you to and expect you to do as I ask, as you are a convenience to me, and you will sit and listen to me, and I want to drink, and the football is on ( which means I will essentially ignore you for big chunks of time). I am also testing you to see if you will agree to anything short notice just to see me. I will see it as a criticism if you decline this , because I am god and you need to drop everything to see me. Ps – I put the kisses on the end to copy you, I don’t mean any affection by them in the least !
My reply –
Hi, no problems about lunch, we can reschedule, although I have a few things planned in over the coming weekends, I am sure we can sort something else out.
– red text interpretation – I am not bothered really, your value of me does not effect my value of me.
My reply continued – I am not able to meet up tomorrow night as I have plans for a dinner out with Norah.
-red interpretation text- I am not able to meet, and I am not changing plans in order to see you, I am not prioritising you regardless, if you see this as criticism – I do not give a S**t.
reply continued – I am sure we can have drinks when you are back in town. I hope you have a good time away. Xxx
-red interpretation text – I am not fussed when I see you again, and can totally wait to see you in a few weeks if at all, in other words I don’t really care! Ps – I just write kisses out of habit now for everyone, not just you, so get over yourself.
Now obviously when I was writing my reply’s to him way back when, the red interpretation was not a thing, I meant what I said as I am just high in agreeableness and I am quite easy going.
But I have to say it was fun doing this exercise across the messages, to give myself a bit of confidence back, and more of a sense of self. especially for the time period that I was more sure of myself and he had not quite got his claws in me and gaslighted my heart.
Going through some messages in this way, writing some footnotes of what we were saying without saying it, meant a lot to me, and I reached a stage where I could delete everything, all our messages, emails, everything. Every fake word he said to me, every time he implied that I was important to him, all deleted. Because they meant nothing to him. Like every other narcissist he used instrumental language to get a desired outcome. Doing this exercise helped me a great deal and I Would recommend it to all here on the blog. If you have kept messages / emails from narcissists, or you are still in a situation with contact with a narcissist. It may help 🙂
Brilliantly explained! I was laughing as I read aloud. Only H.G. could translate the asterisk so well.