Knowing the Narcissist : Perpetual Emotion
Everything that we do is geared around emotion. On the one hand, this may seem somewhat odd, someone like us who does not operate with the full range of emotions that other people do and certainly nowhere near the heightened emotions that the empathic individual is capable of. It is however entirely logical that we are fixated with the notion of emotion.
At its most obvious, we want your emotional output in order to make good that hole which exists inside of us. Stripped of certain emotions we are left with an emptiness which we want to fill. This emptiness is dangerous because something else will want to fill it. As you know, nature abhors a vacuum and this maxim is no different when it comes to us. If the emptiness is not filled with your emotional responses, our fuel, then something far worse will want to break free from its prison and flood into the hole, occupying it and filling it, overcoming us with the very creature that we repeatedly seek to keep under lock and key, silence and forgotten about.
Your emotional responses provide us with fuel. We relish drawing them from you. All and any emotions are wanted by us as fuel. The positive emotions that you provide – joy, happiness, compassion, sympathy, delight and ecstasy are those which are denied to us. We know what they look like because we mimic them in order to further our own survival but we do not know what they feel like. The fact that we are able to cause those positive emotions, when we do not possess them ourselves, makes us feel powerful. We can make you smile with happiness, skip with joy, hug with compassion, kiss with passion and a whole range of others. Our might is underlined by being able to cause this outpouring of emotion and this fuels us, filling the emptiness. Even better are those negative emotions. Whilst we experience many (but not all) of these negative emotions, we still want yours. This is because even more than positive emotions, our ability to cause you to be frightened, angry, upset, sorry and frustrated evidences just how powerful we are. You are geared towards acting with positive intent by reason of your empathic nature and for us to cause negative emotions to spoor from you, like blood from a gaping wound, underlines the power that we wield. Once again those emotions allow us to fill up the hole within. Accordingly, the issue of your provision of emotions is utterly central to our existence.
Yet, the matter of emotion goes beyond this. We not only want you in a perpetual emotional state for fuel, we want it because it affords us control. Decisions made on an emotional basis are often poor decisions. It is those decisions which are made from an objective standpoint, where cool rationale is at the forefront. We operate from a position of logic. Admittedly, few comprehend our logic because it is different from yours because of our different perspectives and viewpoints, but irrespective of that, we apply ourselves in a calculating manner. The lesser of our kind respond through instinct, not through emotion. The greater of our kind respond through cold and detached calculation. Plotting, scheming and planning. Most people allow their decisions to be based on emotion. Those decisions will be bad decisions. Take these for example: –
- Lending someone money because you feel sorry for their impecunious state even though you know they are unlikely to repay you;
- Purchasing a new pair of shoes because it feels good to buy something new and pretty, even though you cannot afford them and you will miss your rent payment this month;
- Allowing a friend on a night out who becomes abusive when drunk, because you feel bad if they are not invited along;
- Keeping an incompetent employee in position because you’ve known them a long time and know they will struggle if they were fired;
- Recruiting somebody because they are attractive and flirt with you, rather than a superior candidate who you don’t find attractive;
- Calling us to find out how we are, even though you know we will try to hoover you, because you worry about how we cope on our own;
- Spending the night with us because the sex is so amazing even though you know what is coming later;
- Letting us come and see you to talk things through because it feels right and fair, even though you know we are likely to worm our way back into your life once again.
All poor decisions. All made because emotion was allowed to interfere.
It is, in a way, natural and a situation we wholeheartedly encourage and endorse. We want you full of emotion. We want you blindly thrashing around, failing to apply critical thinking, allowing yourself to be swept along by emotion. Emotions stop you seeing clearly. They stop you making the right decisions. Emotions keep you fixed in one place, paralysed and unable to move forward which is exactly what we want. We do not want you applying reason and intellect to the situation. We want you confused, bewildered, overwrought and overwhelmed with emotive considerations. This is what keeps you in situ and so much easier to control. So long as you allow emotions to rule you will not escape us and all our manipulations are designed to keep you emotional. We draw the fuel and we keep you from realising what is really happening. We want to pull those heartstrings, we want to blackmail you through using your emotions, we want to appeal to your heart. The more emotional you are the better it is for us. More fuel and more control. This is why you were chosen by us. Your propensity to allow emotion to cloud your thinking, your inability to allow cold logic to govern your decision making and the heightened emotional output which provides us with such delicious fuel were all reasons why we targeted you in the beginning. Those with a muted range of emotional responses are no good for us. This is why we often target ‘damaged’ people because they are always shipping emotional content from them. People with Borderline Personality Disorder prove particularly juicy prey for some of our kind since those people have the emotional hide of a tissue and the slightest provocation has emotion fountaining from them.
You cannot ever shut off those emotions, not unless you cease to function by reason of becoming so ill that those functions shut down (hence why you are discarded when this happens) but in order to tackle us you need to take hold of those emotions, turn off the tap when dealing with just us and regulate your emotions in a more appropriate manner until such time as you can make your escape from us. In the meanwhile, we want you gushing with fuel paralysed and giving us perpetual emotion