Those I interact with, mainly those who I have had relationships with, often ask me what it was that first attracted me to them. Dr E has asked me to consider this question as well. He has framed it in two parts however. Firstly, he wanted me to tell him when I first saw somebody what immediately drew them to me. He wanted me to return to that first impression, be it online or in person or from the window of my car. Secondly, he asked me to view it from now. Was the reason for the attraction any different ? This proved to be a long session of extended pauses as I gave this ample consideration. I must admit, this was one of Dr E’s better questions so I felt it merited some application on my part.
Addressing the first part, it can be absolutely anything. The colour of your hair, the slope of your nose, the scent you wear, the piece of work you have completed, your choice of dip for your fries, your voice or the car you drive. That is what I seize on. I use this as the focal point for my sudden and overwhelming desire for you. I look for something, anything that seems worthy of a compliment and when I find it I deploy it immediately and then look for another, then another and another as I fire up my machine gun to blaze compliments towards you.
The second part of the question is what I really find attractive. The initial attraction is just a frenetic, rushed attempt to form a bridge with you and dash across it to be with you. What really attracts me is showing that you are honest and caring. Decent and understanding. That’s what really matters to me. Those attributes mean that you will be hugely susceptible to my compliments and also utterly bewildered when I withdraw them. Ultimately I sniff out that you will give me the admiration and attention I am entitled to.
This led Dr E to ask me how do I know that you are honest, decent and so on. I began to answer but he said he wanted me to think about this for 15 minutes before answering. I knew the answer in under a minute so I compiled a list instead of the methods I am going to use to seduce my neighbour. That was a much more productive use of the time. Once the prescribed time limit had expired, Dr E asked me again how I knew. I said it was simple; I just do.