Falling into Place

I have learned from Dr E and Dr O that I do not feel the range of emotions that you do. I do not feel joy,I do not feel sadness, I do not become upset and I do not feel empathy. I am fully familiar with anger, rage, envy, hatred, jealousy, despair and most of all the feeling of power. Some of these feelings I had to explain and Dr O provided me with the appropriate label. This is because I began the first session on discussing feelings by explaining I knew only three ; power, anger and power again (actually the third was a terrible sense of dread but that is weak and I was not admitting that to the delicious Dr O). I found these sessions largely uncomfortable as I prefer to use my intelligence to interact with others rather than rely on the often uncontrollable sense of emotion. I do this because I am an expert in studying and reading people. Accordingly, I have learned which emotion to use to enable me to better negotiate my way to getting what I want. For instance, I have learned that when someone crows about a promotion to me, I am to smile and congratulate them. It takes a microsecond as I process what mask I need to reach for, but I a proficient at it now. Of course, behind that mask I am plotting how to criticise their good news as I can feel the envy rising inside of me, but that comes later. For now, I must smile, look happy, shake their hand and wish them well. Thus I appear the decent and pleasant man all know and admire me for.

Conversely, if someone is crying it usually means that they have had some bad news. In those instances I use a concerned face (I copied my secretary’s expressions as she is really good at looking after people) and know that I must utter useless platitudes such as “It will be alright I am sure” or “these things takes time but it will get better” or ” I am sorry for your loss” and pat them on the shoulder. I won’t hug them though. That is going too far.

It was as I began to build up my repertoire of staged responses that I hit on an excellent idea. I needed to find the experts at showing these emotions, study them and then I can replicate them brilliantly so that everyone regards me as someone who is in tune with human emotions and they will admire me for that. Thus, I went to a hospital and watched the nurses as they cared for people. I studied police officers on television when they had to impart bad news to people. I went to see a comedian at a local venue and watched the audience respond to her jokes. I attended a football match and observed the crowd (that was a very good source of a range of reactions – most instructive). But best of all, I happened on an amateur dramatics group and I volunteered to help with the lighting so I could watch the actors and listen to what the director told them. It was a goldmine. After that, it all fell into place as to how I should behave in certain situations. I observe and now know which mask I need to let fall into place.

11 thoughts on “Falling into Place

  1. Leigh says:

    Mr. Tudor, in this article you mention feeling a sense of dread. Do all narcissists feel a sense of dread? Is that the Creature? Is that part of the paranoia that all narcissists feel?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      A sense of dread manifests when full levels are low and falling further. It is not the paranoia.

      1. Leigh says:

        Thank you for your response, Mr. Tudor. You say a sense a dread manifests when fuel levels are low and falling further. You, as The Ultra, know that the sense of dread is from low fuel levels. What does it feel like to the unaware Lesser or Mid Range narcissist? How does it manifest in the conscious mind?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          See “The Fuel Crisis”

  2. A Victor says:

    This article is interesting, my dad was involved in theater in college and I have wondered if that helped him with his faked empathy.

  3. WokeAF says:

    The mid rangers – do the same but instinctively ? (And less effectively )

  4. myriflemyponynme says:

    Witnessed the microsecond gap so Often…

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Mind the gap.

  5. Jasmine says:

    Riveting. So calculating

  6. Maddie says:

    You don’t need this mask…You know it β™₯

    1. nikitalondon says:

      No mask 😍😍

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