The Tide Turns
Dr E was asking me about my relationships and how they always fall. Within this discussion, he wanted to know what happened when I decided that I was no longer interested in somebody. Through our frequent discussions, it is fair to state that there comes a point in all of my relationships (be they lovers, friends, colleagues and so on) that something happens where I lose interest and instead feel an overriding need to demean and belittle. Dr E wanted me to identify what it was that brought about this volte face.
I actually gave this quite a bit of consideration. I was thinking for so long that the silence clearly got to Dr E as he started to question me. Is it because I am no longer getting attention from that particular person? No. Often they are showing me the usual levels of adoration and attention. Moreover they will increase that once they sense I am losing interest. Try all they might they cannot rekindle my enthusiasm. Perhaps it is because they do or say something that you dislike? No. They often do this but this tends to happen after I have lost the passion for them, it is not the cause. Dr E groped around. Maybe then that it is because something more interesting comes along (notice how he said something rather than someone – he is starting to learn my vocabulary now). Again, no. Admittedly this often happens but it is not the cause. Dr E tapped his notebook with his pen.
“Do you know what it is then or perhaps you just don’t?” he asked.
I don’t like him suggesting I don’t know. I know everything.
“I do know,” I replied.
He waited.
“It is because I can.”
Because you can? You always can. What is the spark? You also cannot. You are also able to not. Why do you? I’m still confused. I apologize if that annoys you but I struggle to keep up when it’s not spelled out.
i think you missed your own reasons here, you do it because all these nice people start to annoy you due to their own stupidity and naivety. even intellectually smart people walk over themselves when emotions take over. and how can you be nice to a stupid, inferior person when superiority is all you ever appreciate
I think narcissist are heartless. I think they were abused as kids and they take it out on other people. Kind of sad.
wrong, they don’t need to be abused in order to behave like this. on contrary, i think they were never punished for their horrible behaviour, but instead admired
You are just like s robot. I am glad I stumbled upon you as it makes me realise just what boring creatures you are
Hello Toria, thank you for your post and my apologies for delay in replaying. A pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am not boring, I can light up any dinner party believe me. I am not a robot either, I am as human as you.
She said “like a robot”, not “you are a robot”. But why do you defend yourself here – are you actually afraid that you might not be truly “human”?
Besides, a robot could easily light up a dinner party;-)
Oh, and…
http://youtu.be/SgOhq2jYRdM
Weil ich’s kann = it’s because I can
my ex narc adored the movie “Blade runner” probably because he thought he is a replicant