The Tide Turns

thU0N9FT8PDr E was asking me about my relationships and how they always fall. Within this discussion, he wanted to know what happened when I decided that I was no longer interested in somebody. Through our frequent discussions, it is fair to state that there comes a point in all of my relationships (be they lovers, friends, colleagues and so on) that something happens where I lose interest and instead feel an overriding need to demean and belittle. Dr E wanted me to identify what it was that brought about this volte face.

I actually gave this quite a bit of consideration. I was thinking for so long that the silence clearly got to Dr E as he started to question me. Is it because I am no longer getting attention from that particular person? No. Often they are showing me the usual levels of adoration and attention. Moreover they will increase that once they sense I am losing interest. Try all they might they cannot rekindle my enthusiasm. Perhaps it is because they do or say something that you dislike? No. They often do this but this tends to happen after I have lost the passion for them, it is not the cause. Dr E groped around. Maybe then that it is because something more interesting comes along (notice how he said something rather than someone – he is starting to learn my vocabulary now). Again, no. Admittedly this often happens but it is not the cause. Dr E tapped his notebook with his pen.

“Do you know what it is then or perhaps you just don’t?” he asked.

I don’t like him suggesting I don’t know. I know everything.

“I do know,” I replied.

He waited.

“It is because I can.”

15 thoughts on “The Tide Turns

  1. Asp Emp says:

    ‘The Tide Turns’, I am sure it does, HG. I like the image.

    It was good to have the opportunity to read this article. So, Dr E gets a bit ‘twitchy’ if there is a long silence, HG. I laughed at that bit.

    “It is because I can” – totally understandable. Taking back what was not ‘available’ at some point – the control and asserting it in later years of life. I would also understand should any empaths / victims of narcissism ‘mourn’ for their ‘loss’ of control when on the journey of understanding the addiction / impact of narcissism.

  2. A Victor says:

    Is the “overriding need to demean and belittle” absolute, you cannot not do it once it begins? Or could you resist? But you wouldn’t want to?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Sometimes an alternative option exists, but usually the need is embraced because it is also entertaining to do so.

      1. A Victor says:

        I see, so narcissists live for fun, as anyone can, but it’s at someone else’s expense. Is the entertainment aspect true for the unaware narcissists also? Thank you for the reply.

        1. HG Tudor says:


  3. Hope says:

    Because you can? You always can. What is the spark? You also cannot. You are also able to not. Why do you? I’m still confused. I apologize if that annoys you but I struggle to keep up when it’s not spelled out.

  4. M says:

    i think you missed your own reasons here, you do it because all these nice people start to annoy you due to their own stupidity and naivety. even intellectually smart people walk over themselves when emotions take over. and how can you be nice to a stupid, inferior person when superiority is all you ever appreciate

  5. Lala K says:

    I think narcissist are heartless. I think they were abused as kids and they take it out on other people. Kind of sad.

    1. M says:

      wrong, they don’t need to be abused in order to behave like this. on contrary, i think they were never punished for their horrible behaviour, but instead admired

  6. Toria says:

    You are just like s robot. I am glad I stumbled upon you as it makes me realise just what boring creatures you are

    1. malignnarc says:

      Hello Toria, thank you for your post and my apologies for delay in replaying. A pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am not boring, I can light up any dinner party believe me. I am not a robot either, I am as human as you.

      1. Alice says:

        She said “like a robot”, not “you are a robot”. But why do you defend yourself here – are you actually afraid that you might not be truly “human”?

        Besides, a robot could easily light up a dinner party;-)

      2. Alice says:

        Oh, and…

        Weil ich’s kann = it’s because I can

        1. Violetta says:

          Are Toria and Alice the same person? Not to be confused with Simon/e, who appears to be either ESL or LD. Probably the 2nd, because ESL students tend to have hyper-correct English, but have trouble with idioms.

      3. M says:

        my ex narc adored the movie “Blade runner” probably because he thought he is a replicant

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