Will I Ever Be Left Alone?

This is a frequent and plaintive cry from those who have been caught in my web. There are those that never realise what they have become involved in when they are targeted by my kind. They never leave and we never leave you alone. You are always there and available for us to extract some fuel from. We of course discard you but it is never a true parting of the ways. We only cast you aside in order to bring you back again. We do not really want to get rid of you. It is purely a device to ensure that we put you through the ringer again and extract some extra droplets of fuel from your battered and withered self. If you make no attempt to leave we will attach that metaphoric piece of elastic and bounce you back and forth. How long will that pushing and pulling go on for? Until you die. You will always serve some function to me. You will hang around and be used and abused until either you expire or I do and I never contemplate the latter for long.

What if you try to escape me? Well, the lesser narcissist also known as the oxymoronic benign narcissist will try to rope you back in but if you demonstrate sufficient resolve he or she will seek out a far easier target. The reality is there are so many people walking around oozing empathy, that they may as well have a target painted on their backs. We always find fresh fuel and without too much effort. Sometimes I do think that we attract you without having to anything. I know how we are able to sniff you lovely empaths out, but I have started to wonder whether the super empaths that exist have some function for finding us. Their desire to fix and repair enabling them to home in our broken and warped ways and inadvertently they are drawn into our sights. The lesser narcissist will try to hook you back in, but eventually he or she will leave you alone. It may take a few months but you can avoid their clutches. Beware however, should you fly too close in the future we will shoot out a tendril and ensnare you again. Do not make the mistake of thinking that we ever forget how useful you are to us. We do not forget and should you attend an event where we are or decide out of some misguided sympathy to send a text asking how we are, we will come straight back after you.

That is the approach of the lesser narcissist but what of my breed, the malign narcissist. Will we ever leave you alone?

Never.

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11 thoughts on “Will I Ever Be Left Alone?”

  1. Hello!
    This post resonated, as you know my narc will be on a trip into my town at the end of the month and I’m trying to go no contact as of only two weeks so far.
    Have you ever had a former love / victim leave you and get into a healthy relationship following yours? Do you ever feel jealousy or a loss when you see that? Does it make you try to “win” them back just to feel superior and see if you can get them to break up with the new person?
    When you say you never forget about any of your victims, what do you remember about them the most? Does it vary from person to person? Is it their reaction to you when they’re trying to help you, plead with you, beg you to be with them? Is it how they submit to you sexually or emotionally? Or, is it how they responded to you in the “golden period”?
    I’m just curious what exactly is the “fuel”?

    Clarece

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    1. Hello Clarece, yes I have had people I have discarded go on into other relationships. I do not try to win them back as invariably I have found someone else to occupy my attention and feed me admiration. I do not feel a loss. They do not leave me. I cast them aside. Many try to come back and some mope around for quite a long time with a few moving on. I do like to toy with them in their new relationship in order to get them to send attention my way. It always works. The reason for this is that they are compelled to act by their new partner (who does not understand what I am) so they expect their new girlfriend to fight back and if they do not, they accuse them of having a soft spot for me. It is such a win – win. They are encouraged to react so I get the fuel and if they try not to, it causes rift between the two of them which entertains me.
      What do I remember most about my victims. Their hair colour. I have a special place for redheads.
      In terms of the fuel, it separates into two parts. The first is their utter admiration of me when I am seducing them. They are so blown away they lavish me with attention and affection. When that becomes stale I need to rejuvenate the fuel and this is done through the manipulative techniques I deploy in the devaluation stage.

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  2. Hello!
    Have you ever had a former love / victim, move on from you into a healthy relationship and how did that affect you? Do you get jealous and try to “win” them back to feel superior? Do you feel a loss? You say you will never leave someone alone, but it seems like you have had to with people like Karen and Caroline. Why is that?

    You say you never forget about your victims. What is it you remember most? Things about them from the “golden period” that drew you to them initially, or what kind of “fuel” they give you when your mind games begin?

    Define fuel for me please. Is it simply our attention and energy all on you, all consuming?

    Clarece

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    1. I’m not a Narc, so can’t speak with authority to this. I wanted to share a relevant story, though. My ex discarded me. She was just fine hooking up with whomever she wanted (during and after the relationship). When I met someone the very first time we went out my ex called with an emergency, and had me take her to the ER. I spent the next weeks taking care of her for a physical issue that actually can’t be seen/verified by the naked eye. During that time she absolutely pulled me back in, and I stopped Persuing the other person. Then, of course, she was done with me again. My experience says yes, they will do that. I’ll be interested to see responses to your question…

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      1. @Carol
        Yes, my Narc continually hooked up with others during our time together. Last year, I started seeing someone for about 2 months. Although it never got too serious, I was definitely enjoying consistent attention from someone new. My vibe towards my Narc must have been dismissive. He came at me the hardest with the love bombing. I too, thought it was a sign he “cared” after all. I ended it with new person. As soon as my Narc caught on I freed myself for him he discarded me in a whole new way…. me not being open to a 3-some for him… Nice! Obviously that pushed me away only to hear from him a month later and not pushing that angle.

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  3. Mine discarded me over 3 years ago, yet I’ve been contacted by her as recently as last month. So, I absolutely believe you when you say it will go on forever. She is in a new relationship too, so even that hasn’t been enough to stop her. I have blocked her ability to contact me through phone, social media, email, etc. I have moved and not told her my address. The only way she is going to access me is if I run into her, so now I live in fear of that. The sad part, well, one of them, is the fact that in spite of how horrendously shitty she has been to me, I still was so convinced all the contact the last few years was because she cared about me. Ha!

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  4. “Should you fly too close in the future, we will shoot out a tendril and ensnare you again”. This has played in my head since reading it and waiting to see if you would reply to my recent comments. It made me want to test your theory. I reached out to the Narc this afternoon, due to a ” Bluetooth mistake”. Pesky technology. Time will tell if he responds… According to you, it’s bound to sooner or later.

    Clarece

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  5. This is why going ‘NO CONTACT’ for good is so important.
    Eurgh! I feel gross at the thought of ever crossing paths with narcopath ever again.

    It’s so great having the freedom of NC.
    It’s only been 8weeks and I feel nothing for narcopath.
    Went from 100 -0 in a matter of days.

    I do love that narc was banking on keeping me as a primary source of supply and never saw any strength in me previously
    (I kept it hidden away from narc) very successfully gone NC and loving it.

    Now im focused on Me. Learned a lot.
    Thanks Narc. X

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