You may not realise this but my kind and me are always prepared. We carry with us at all times a toolkit which is stocked with many useful tools and instruments to assist us in our day-to-day machinations. These tools enable us to carry out our quest to obtain fuel. Sometimes you may not realise that we are actually using these tools and on other occasions you cannot help but notice. Every one of our kind comes equipped with this toolkit. Not all of the tools are used by every member of our brethren and we are always on the lookout for additions that can be made to it. It can be tiring lugging it around with us but it is a necessary burden if we are to achieve our aims. Luckily for you,I am going to provide you with an insight into what lies inside the Devil’s Toolkit.
Saw of Interruption – this is regularly used to cut you off when you are speaking.
Chisel of Misery – a very handy instrument which is used on a frequent basis to chip away at your self-esteem
Hammer of Intimidation – a blunt instrument that is used to bludgeon you into submission
Screwdrivers of Diversion – this flexible tool comes with two adjustable ends. The Denial and the Blame-Shift. Either of these ends can be fitted to twist the truth
Pliers of Manipulation – these are used to push and pull, turn and wrench until we get what we want.
Unlimited Tape Measure – this is used to see if you come up to standard but unsurprisingly you never measure up
Stanley Knife – a diverse blade which is used for figuratively making small yet painful cuts or if need be slicing you open
Spanner of Disruption – I have plenty of these in the toolkit and use them to throw into the works on a repeated basis to mess things up for you and others
Fuse Wire – I know you keep blowing yours so this is often used
Insulation Tape – for keeping you insulated from everyone else. It is a large roll and never runs out
Torch of Illumination – this does not work as there are never any batteries in them. Well they are fuel aren’t they?
Power Drill of Inferiority – this is used to drill into you over and over again how useless and pathetic you are
Charming Sander – very handy for smoothing everything over in an instant
Snare – always handy for trapping the unwary empath
Immobility Clamps– used for keeping you right where I want you
Blowtorch of Rage – I may need to take this back to Lucifer since it seems to blow hot and cold
Goggles of Reflection – I don’t want to get anyone,I mean anything, in my eyes do I?
Sugarcoated Knuckleduster of Attrition – wears you down but you don’t realise it
Laser Tape Measure – projects brilliantly
Ear Defenders – always necessary when doling out the silent treatment
Scissors of Snipping – all purpose tool for cutting through any barriers or boundaries
Gas Lamp – prone to going on and off without rhyme or reason
Circular Conversation Saw – I think this one is faulty as well as it goes round and round but never actually does anything
Pot of Fairy Dust – we sprinkle this liberally and everything sparkles and shines. Shame they could not make some that lasted longer though.
Quite the collection isn’t it and I am sure you will recognise some personal favourites of the narcissist in your life.