Valentine’s Day. Another artifice which amounts to another day that falls prey to our manipulative wiles based on your expectations. Those expectations raised by a society that expects conformity to these commercial festivals yet does nothing when those same festivals contribute to your pain and misery. Much like Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, Mother’s Day and so on, society has deigned for you to behave in a certain way and for you to expect certain behaviours on those particular days. Who are we to disappoint when such a gift horse is dropped into our lap?
Should you be fortunate enough to be firmly ensconced in the seductive golden period when Valentine’s Day arrives then you can expect a day beyond all days. In keeping with our penchant for the grand gesture a large bouquet of beautiful white roses will arrive. Preferably the day falls on a week day so that the arrival of this extravagant display of flora will be at your place of work. Let the world of your office see how marvellous I am to you. Let them gather around you and coo and bleat about what a massive bouquet that is and he must really love you. The flora bomb is merely the start. More gifts will arrive during the day, from jewellery, to confectionary, through to sleek glossy technological items and clothing. All of it is done to draw a reaction of admiration and envy from those around you and to reinforce to you just how fortunate you are to be with me. Valentine’s Day merely provides me with a stage by which I am able to demonstrate how truly wonderful I am and how lucky you are to be with me. My façade of affection and love is reinforced by those observing these multiple gestures. I will take you away for the weekend and ensure that everyone knows what I am doing by insisting you tell all your friends and by repeated postings and photographs on social media. If a weekend away is not practical then it will be a favourite show of yours and dinner at a prestigious restaurant and again I will ensure that this news is broadcast far. Through out the day I will send you thoughtful and delightful messages, whispered voicemail messages and texts declaring my love for you. I shall borrow repeatedly of the choicest phrases from the romantic masters as I maintain this maelstrom of desire on this most special day. My efforts will dwarf yours but that does not matter because today is all about you (so it becomes all about me) and the admiring and loving fuel you yield is delicious and edifying. I will have swept you off your feet during my seduction of you but Valentine’s Day enables me to open up a complete new front of romance, love and seduction.
You should only ever expect one wonderful Valentine’s Day with me and in some instances, dependent on when our relationship has stared, you may not even get that. You can of course be assured to receive at least one day of misery when this supposedly special day becomes just another tool by which I will devalue you. You of course will comply with the obligation to be romantic and do your best to fuss over me, handing me a carefully chosen gift and card which I will barely look at at best and will criticise as being wrong and not something I wanted at worst. Your heightened expectations will be the catalyst for me rolling our malice and disappointment throughout the day. You expect a card. No card will be provided. You will look hopefully each time someone comes to the door hoping it to be a delivery from the florist only for you to feel crestfallen as nobody appears. I may even arrange for a lieutenant to appear with a bouquet in his hands only to have got the wrong house and ask for someone else when you answer the door. The brave face you attempt to maintain despite your obvious misery is a joy to behold. Society has caused you to believe that you should receive special treatment today and of course you will, but not of the variety that you will expect. Do not blame me. Blame yourself and society for causing you to think that on this random day you should be loved, venerated and idealised. I know you expect me to comply with these pre-conceived notions and towards the end of the day, after the lack of gifts, the absence of doing anything special and the third argument of the day, your sobbing in the bedroom provides me with the fuel that I always know I can obtain on this day. I know there are some cynics who do not hold with Valentine’s Day. Like many festivals, they baulk at the crass commercialisation that has taken a grip on what is meant to be a day of romance and love. I am a big believer in Valentine’s Day and U do so from the stance of a traditionalist. Early Christian martyrs in Rome were often called Valentine and thus the day became synonymous with the concept of sacrifice and martyrdom. I am a firm advocate of continuing that tradition as you martyr yourself at the altar of me. Happy Valentine’s Day!