I Saw Something In Your Eyes

Do you remember the evening that we first met? Of course you do. Everybody always remembers the first time they met me. Whether you became my intimate partner after my carefully executed seduction, whether I admitted you to my outer circle or whether you were there to serve me a drink, everyone always remembers the first time they encountered me. It is invariably the beginning of something memorable. But, let’s not be concerned about my coterie, the minions and the strangers, this is all about me. And you. Do you remember on that first meeting what I told you. Yes, I appreciate that I told you many things. Plenty about me, naturally but I also told you many things about you. Yes, you remember don’t you, I can tell. I told you how magnetic your eyes were. You blushed when I mentioned this but I could tell by your reaction that someone else had said something similar to you before. You looked down, those long lashes, defined by the mascara that you applied so carefully a couple of hours earlier. I knew you enjoyed that compliment and I knew that you did think you had attractive eyes. Nobody had called them magnetic before, that much was evident, but you had been told you had beautiful eyes, stunning eyes and such like. Of course I exceeded those standard and quite frankly trite observations with my reference to how “your optimistic eyes held paradise”, “your eyes possessed all manner of desire including the wanton” and “your eyes shone with the inner brightness that so many of us find so delightful.” Great descriptions and they always have the desired effect of prompting a pleased response and a compliment in return. One always looks to give to receive. There is no other way.

I always harked back to your eyes didn’t I? Referring to them in complimentary terms and then as I held you I looked deep into your eyes, holding your gaze, allowing the silent to speak for itself as your body tingled with the heightened anticipation of such a passionate gesture. You never wanted to break that gaze, your almond-shaped eyes, possessing that scintillating emerald colour, that sea-like sapphire hue, that forlorn yet enchanting grey, that dark brown that simmered with sensuality, remain transfixed by my own stare. Nothing was said. Nothing needed to be said as our eyes remained locked together and the emotion poured from those eyes. Such expression resided inside your eyes and on so many occasions I drank deep of the fuel that sprang, well-like, from your gaze. I would enter a room and the delight you sent my way as your eyes widened was edifying. Such expression. From the narrowing in frustration, the wild-eyed grip of anger, the rounded surprised joy, the burning passion, the simmering elation, the eye-rolling orgasmic and the pain-filled tears. Your eyes had it all. I spent so long in your eyes. I often needed no more than you to look my way. It was unnecessary for you to speak, to gesture or to come closer. The emotion which you managed to gather in your expressive eyes was quite something to behold. Of course, I was always the catalyst. Without me you would have no need to provide such a range of heightened emotions. Without me you would not have been able to experience that wide range of emotions and allow them to form and flow from your eyes. As ever, I taught you and I guided you, ensuring that you did as was required. Expert that I am, I noticed your eyes from the first time that I ever placed my own and you. I knew from that moment that I needed to possess those eyes,make them my own, capture them so that they only ever looked my way. Your gaze was never meant for others. They were beneath you and clearly far beneath me. They were never meant to be the beneficiaries of such magnificence from your eyes. It was not for them to experience the prime fuel you generated. Only I was entitled to this. Only I was to receive such a reward and it was right and proper, for I invested much of my time in ensuring that the looks you gave me covered every emotion and providing that high-grade fuel. I encouraged and guided that use of your eyes, like a conductor with his orchestra. I told you when to emphasise them with mascara, eye liner and eye shadow. I dictated when they should be bare and look up on me in naked innocence. I instructed when you should wear spectacles and when you should not. I forbade excessive drinking for those eyes should never be bloodshot from alcohol, although that condition was permissible as a consequence of your upset.

So yes, back when we first met, it was your eyes that gained my rapt attention, my compliments and my flattery as I sought to possess them. I was most attentive and recognised what I stood to gain from your impressive eyes. I looked upon them and I looked into them and that is where I saw something. I saw something in your eyes which mattered more than anything else in the world. What I saw in your eyes was the very thing that made me know that you were the one who had to be chosen. That something which I saw convinced me to ensure I bound you to me. I looked into your eyes and I saw something. I saw myself.

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150 thoughts on “I Saw Something In Your Eyes”

  1. The soul, fortunately, has an interpreter – often an unconscious but still a faithful interpreter – in the eye.”
    ― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

    Oddly enough, most men I have dated have had blue yes, like myself. Maybe I also want to see something of myself In the eyes of the man I adore.
    I recall as a child, I would receive many compliments from Strangers even, like “your eyes are as big as saucers” In clubs, men would comment on how deep and pretty my eyes were.. Or comments on how the color of my eyes changed with mood, from a Caribbean ocean of blue when in bliss to darkened ebony night when angered.

    It is very true that when we gaze into the eyes of another we do see ourselves: knowing that person, understanding that person and loving that person. Through the vision they reflect back to us. We see, hopefulness, desire, sadness, rage, excitement and so much more expression. There is only life in what we see.

    But, after we have looked into the eye of an N for years, we see a vacant deadness, no longer a mirror reflection, but more a void and emptiness and stillness.. Not unlike an empty house, abandoned for years, waiting for its family to return. The shutters all now closed, as it cannot bare to see the outside world as it used to be. Moss and vines crawling upwardly on its very body, covering it from the shame it continues to feel. Shingles and siding in ill repair. From neglect from those who once paid so much attention in how it looked. The grass around its foundation grown so tall that it waves in wind for anyone to come near. Yet, no one does. So, there we sit, alone, in wait. A silent despair. While somewhere far, or not far away, his eyes glimmer and sparkle with the dust of the blue fairy. Upon her.
    Hopeful, in conquest and adventure. We feel his eyes upon another.
    As theirs open widely to false promise. Ours close tightly to forget memory.

    One sees clearly only with the heart, anything that is essential is invisible to the eye.”- The Little Prince”
    ― Antoine De saint exupery

    HG, what color eyes do you have and be most descriptive?and when you look into the mirror, what do your eyes tell of you?

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    1. I’ve already said what colour eyes I have in a posting some moons ago so I shall leave you to see if you can find it. When I look in the mirror what do my eyes tell of me? They tell a tale of the hundreds of people that have been caught in that gaze and consumed.

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      1. Tell me again then please, seeing I do not know the color. Like a vision from Dantes Inferno, you see the devastation and devouring and clamouring as they are consumed in the passionate fire of your masterful hold?

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      1. Well, I am easily read, my eyes are my yell. I cannot look at someone when arguing, if I see their eyes, I am subdued. Luckily, I do not have much argumentative engagements. Thank you Nikita, do you have blue eyes too❤️

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      1. You know you are my priority and my nimber one and even more when its about your eyes.., but a non stop meeting day ties my hands behind my back.

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      1. If his eyes are that blue, he must wear contacts…my eyes fluctuate in blues…not grey blue, more deep blue to dark maybe.

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      1. Souls are maintained when looking in my eyes…..if you get lost, you can easily find your way out. Some men really do have pretty eyes, one of my exes had the longest eyelashes I ever saw in men, just lovely.

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      2. Yes that it exactly, but my melt he means more like the medusa turn to stone effect. I am currently being used as one the grand columns in his home, I insisted in southern exposure …my punishment for insubordination I assume😀

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  2. Interesting blogs I yet to buy your books I just been observing at present and taking it all in what you write about. At times you hit a light 💡 effect to my life the men I have incounterd. Two said I was like drug they would call to say they needed my fix. I use to laugh and say careful u don’t over dose yourself. So found ur blogs intriguing. it don’t just stop at men though I found it in family old friends etc. As I got older I learnt to walk way more ignore. So aready taken steps. Much to dispointment of them. Drama 🎩 bores me. a friend past ur information on. I bet u get lot fuel from this alone and all the comments. So win win thing here.

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    1. Hello Sweetsthing2 and thanks for posting. Yes our kind is everywhere and I am pleased you have found the blog interesting. How many of our kind have you been in a relationship with? Do you think you can spot our kind or do you just walk away once the drama starts?

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      1. Hi, I learning everyday I can say two that show traits since reading post though I knew they had controlling ways. Only say I becoming enlightening due to ur blogs. First was very much in the drama. As I grown and learn of my awareness I become more speaking as I find the last thought I was pussy cat he found out. That I have value within. Relize he would not get his what u call fuel from me. So I say less drama last few years. And people free do as they choose and act how they wish. I choose mine. He did confuse me and upset me. at time. But time healer and I am in much healthier place than I have been for years. I guess when u say fuel I think we all try find top up of that empty feeling. So maybe we all got bit within us. But choice which one we are willing to feed the most.

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  3. Indeed those eyes… I remember all the compliments and exclamations over the variations of colouring in my eyes from the last N. Royal blue, ice blue, stormy grey and the hints of green… my eyes fascinated him as they changed colours. His eyes when I looked at them sent shivers down my spine… there was nothing there, a deadness on the occasions I caught him in the seconds between switching to what he perceived he should be projecting from them. This is the image I keep at the ready in my own mind, the deadness and lack of emotion when there is nothing to mirror to emulate feeling. I remember it to guard myself against him as I can’t accomplish complete escape. He caught me off guard the other night and approached me on a break at work. We talked amicably, I hold no malice towards him and there’s no need to make a scene at work. I should have seen it coming and I think I knew it would… not being at work yesterday for him to attempt a hoover, he made contact by text message. Something he hasn’t done since New Year’s day.
    I remember those dead, soul-less eyes.

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      1. I was more then metaphorically cornered. I was sitting in my vehicle, lost in thought, when the passenger door opened and he sat himself beside me.

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      2. No, none at all. He shouldn’t have even been away from his machine. It wasn’t his break time, but at 1:30 in the morning there’s no bosses at work to worry about such things as that. Oh well.. at least our shifts don’t overlap for the next week… hopefully longer.

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      1. It startled me, but my body language is heavily guarded, conditioned to the environment of what I used to do. We spoke for a few minutes, but then I made the excuse of needing to get back to work and had him out of the car which I quickly locked and left him standing there as I made my way back into the building.

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      2. He left me alone for the rest of the shift.. 7 am came and I was out the door and away faster then he was. As I mentioned above though, he texted me the next day, the first one since the short ‘Happy New Year’ he sent me last.

        And to HG, I’ll be checking it over, as I have before 😉

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      3. It must be stressful to still work I the same place , you are made of strong and brave stuff, Sheila, I would be a mess, well even more then mess I already am. Hugs xx

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      4. The stress of working with him is small compared to other issues ongoing and past in my life. When I’m focused and clear headed and away from abuse my will is stronger then any iron known to man. I’ve beaten the odds when my body was mangled and I was told I’d never walk again. When I remind myself of the courage and determination it took to force my body to accommodate and re-learn, I know I’m stronger then anything an N can throw at me.

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      5. omg yes, coming through all you have and rehabilitation you are practically invincible , especially against him now, I relation to all else xxx

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  4. Well this started my day in a sad way. Yes the day I met my Narc, as I’ve said before when we locked eyes, it was like the earth stopped on its axis and the rest of the world melted away into silence. It was cosmic. He kept flirting at a University Homecoming game commenting on my eyes, how beautiful they were. They are as “blue as the galaxy”. Having his friends comment if they had ever seen such blue eyes before… You just re-created that damn ever presence! Feeling melancholy now. Thanks! How are you going to make this up to me H.G.? Lol

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  5. “Can I take your eyes with me?” Before leaving

    “I can see you looking up at me with those eyes”. Trying to Hoover me back

    “I see the pain in your beautiful eyes”. I’m sure he meant he saw the beautiful pain in my eyes.

    “Your eyes are like the sea, if I cast my nets wide enough, will I capture everything inside of you?”
    His eyes were so black I could not see his pupils. I tried so hard to see inside his soul but they were like falling into black holes. Empty, infinite void. Sonetines, I swear, I saw them turn red.

    Just like the picture with this post.

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      1. Bald is very attractive still, so is closely shaven hair…..some men just look good regardless…a I don’t like long hair on men though..no man buns for me 😉

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      2. I don’t mind facial hair on mine, several day growth is super sexy, but yes none of those types of moustache for me either 😊

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  6. N1 had the most gorgeous green eyes…only expressive when caught in my gaze..like a mirror….when I caught him off guard…his eyes were just dead.
    N2 had huge black eyes…they were probably brown….but very dark. They were always dead…I’m sure he was a sociopath…
    N3…the last one….had hazel eyes….they were expressive in the beginning…..but after the golden period…they were just beady and dead…his whole countenance changed….

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  7. HG what does it mean you saw yourself in your girlfriend eyes? Is she also a narcissist? Were they void of herself that you saw yourself?? Or rather you saw all you wanted to be and desired in her eyes?

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      1. HG is funny you mention this because as I am fully into this self love stuff I had the same thought, that the theory of loving yourself more is learning from the narcissist also.
        I also follow this group broken in facebook and they are really into it and they say you should tell yourself every morning all these sentences… For example.
        You ( I mean ME and not you HG 😂😂) is the best that can happen today.
        Embrace yourself and put yourself first
        You are your priority ( here I need to learn more as you are my priority right now😂)
        You are the most valuable being
        You are the most beautiful because you are you.
        Love yourself above others
        Remember you and your needs come first.
        Shine over the others, you have been given this light.
        You deserve to be the first one ( dont worry you are still my first one)
        Sounds like a narcissist doesnt it??? 😂😂😂.

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      2. I was wondering where your post was going when you referred to being “fully into this self love stuff” !!
        I am going to have to have a word with this FB group as they have pinched what is written next to my mirror. It would not be written on my mirror of course. Do not want to obscure my view of myself do we?

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  8. To all of you, wonderful ladies, Happy Women’s Day! Freedom isnt free. Thrive, figh, keep the something in your eyes, get it back. You are powerful, and weak, and strong and exousted. But you have something no narc will ever have, the diversity of feelings. Use them, enjoy them and be happy. And to you, HG, thank you for helping us. You may end up feeling real love for us:) Cheers

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      1. Reading? I am obssesed with your books and arricles. Havent put them down in an year(what a distance mind control, ha) You have played the important part in getting my life back and proving what a pare of ovaries are capable of. Thus, a big hug for you:)

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      1. 💗 There were those who fought for women’s right to vote. Then those who fought for women’s right to work in professions “male only”. Then those who fight for equal pay, and us, who fight to end abuse. And HG telling us how:) History in making

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  9. That made me smile Nikita, I knew it wasn’t for me, number two is perfect, HG has need to win, I do not, number seven would be acceptable as well ❤️ hugs xxx

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      1. Not even opposed to last place….I am not competitive person. When a bf couldn’t decide between me and an ex, I decided for him, said chose her.

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  10. Nikita, upon closer observation my eyes do appear more black of the blue persuasion, HG you haven’t infiltrated a demon into me have you whilst I sleep and it is manifesting through my eyes now……must wear sunglasses to hide it. Funny, I guess I see myself in mirror, but I don’t really look. I look more to others then myself. My eyes definitely appear darker then months ago.maybe sadness darkens the mirror to the soul…any thoughts?

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    1. Nikola Tesla explained why he had light-coloured eyes when he was of Slav descent. He explained that it was because he used his brain so much that his eyes had become progressively lighter.

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      1. You will burn in hell for that insult btw..oops too late that fate is destined already 😏 anyways it was false alarm, was just dilated pupils ha ha

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      2. Such as….enlighten me please….meaning I am of low intellect and am subservient and you wager another possibility including those two 😏

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    2. Karaa yes sadness does make the eyes darker. I can sort of see sadness in the eyes of the people. I hope you recover the light again. You have it in your soul 😃

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      1. No worries it is a personal attraction based on what I feel, so it will be different from another. Age is no consequence to me in attracting, well as long as older then. My dad was 17 years older then my mum ❤️

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      2. My dad too 14. and I had an ex 15 years older than me, but the actor must be like 65 and that is more than 20 years. Too much…
        Your long post I printed out and am about to read 😃

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  11. I like men with blue eyes although my last narc had grey/ blue eyes and my previous husband narc had dark brown.
    When I’m happy my eyes are a green/ brown but when I’m sad they are darker brown like chocolate. My last ex always wanted to look in to my eyes he said he could see the passion in my eyes and it excited him. I’m always complement on my eyes and long dark eyelashes.
    But I do like a man with dark hair and blue eyes although at my age they normally have disguising grey running through their hair.

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      1. Ha ha it should have said distinguishing but my phone decided another word was more apt. Even my phone knows you’re kind 😆😆

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  12. I was transfixed by his gaze…It locked me in and I could not turn away! Your description is scarily similar.

    I don’t understand why his comments affected me so much…he’d comment on my eye colour… but in such a way I became enchanted…he’d watch me…His eyes on me like a tracker beam…and he could read me…tell me how I felt, was thinking by looking at me and my response in looking back.

    He violated my every sense of being…just with a look…

    What is it that makes you so powerful? What is it about your gaze that is so spellbinding?

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    1. We are designed and created to gather fuel and thus this gives us a considerable edge over other people in the way we are able to read people. Remember, we spend a lot of time doing it and this practice makes us experts. What is it about our gaze that is so spellbinding? It is our ability to reflect and show you what you want to see that transfixes you.

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  13. I am both intrigued and repelled by you write and the honesty that you share.

    I’m so grateful that I’ve not been in your tracker beam gaze…I think you’d be hard to resist!

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    1. That is the unrivalled advantage of interacting with me here Castiel and being able to read what I write and share your own observations and experiences.

      I do not take any issue with your second sentence!

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