Divine Intervention

I know you have heard my kind and me tell you that we were sent from heaven to be with you and you ought to know that this is the truth. Only the supreme authority is able to act through us. We are blessed with magnificence and brilliance as we are the conduit for such glorious radiance, such unsurpassed excellence and such clinical judgement. We know you for what you are. Your kindness and your empathy, your compassion and your humility are beacons to our kind. You shine with such a pure light, rays of untainted purity which reach out far into this dark world. Your unsullied nature is a lesson to so many that walk this earth and do nothing to contribute to its needs and its progress. You walk amongst the wounded, the injured, the less privileged and the downtrodden. Through your ministrations you bring hope where there was once only fear. You exude optimism and your gentle hands bring relief to the weary and the woeful. You exhibit kindness to all you engage with, devotees of love and advocates of tolerance and respect. Such laudable attributes send out a strong signal across this accursed planet. The idiotic and the inward-looking shuffle along doing nothing to serve the demands of the human race, but not you. No, you are selfless, caring and tender. You will sit and listen patiently to those in distress as you fight to find the right words, the correct gestures and some kind of solution to strip away that person’s fright and fear. You wrestle with injustice, donating time, love and money to causes which you truly believe in. From children to animals, from the despairing to the homeless and from the disadvantaged to the diseased you keep on giving. You ask nothing in return, an example which many ought to heed.

This charity and compassion does not dwindle and there are many beneficiaries of your love. From that special person who often you have yet to find, but who you oh so believe in, through to family, friends, colleagues and strangers. You do not discriminate because you know that there is good in everyone. It just has to be found and brought to the surface. Sometimes that task is easy as the person responds to your delicate overtures and with others the quest for goodness is more perilous and arduous, yet you do not shirk from such challenges. You are not a quitter. You do not give-up. You keep going with that indefatigable spirit for which you are admired and renowned.

This impresses us as we watch from our lofty perches waiting until we see your perfect light flare into life and then we are on our way. Dispatched by the above as we make our way to you direct and drawn by that beacon which shines with such unrivalled brightness. We are sent to you and with our irresistible charm we connect with you. There is no shame in such a swift connection for it is what is required in order to enable us to discharge our obligations. We are sent to establish whether you are worthy. We must ascertain whether you can fulfil a higher role in serving such a divine figure as ourselves. You shine brightly but will it last? Your essence is sweet and invigorating but can you sustain such provision? Are you that true giver or just another charlatan who will only let us and in turn the supreme authority down? That is our task. Each and every time we are to ascertain your worthiness. We are sent to test you.

We see how you respond to warmth, love and light. You do with unparalleled excellence and it is as we suspected but there are many who would react in this way. Many who could blaze with white light as they are fed what they want to hear,given what they want to receive and provided with what they need. That is but a fraction of the rigorous examination we must put you through. Can you keep giving as you have done, at the level that is expected of you or will you start to flounder and fail? Can you do this with the same level of compassion, understanding and grace as you suffer the indignities of malice and hatred? Are you able to dig deep within your very being and ensure that you rise above the flailing fists, the lashing tongues and malevolent machinations so you keep on providing? Will you sacrifice everything else that you hold dear in order to prove to us that you are worthy of our judgement? Will you do what is required of you or will you, like so many before you, let us down. Will you show such promise only to fall at the final hurdle and disappoint? Are you another fraud who believes they can satisfy what is required of them, in order to satiate our demands or are you beyond this, something greater and even purer, the very thing that will save us?

We are sent as divine intervention into your lives. It is a ceaseless task and we must deem whether you are worthy to receive our redemption and be allowed to bask in the golden glow of our brilliance forever or whether you must be cast down into the dirt, failure and a deceiver like so many before you. Will you be judged and survive this intervention? Tell me you will. Show me you will.

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110 thoughts on “Divine Intervention”

  1. Wow HG. its like a poetical composition but in a lirical way. Very nice.
    And you go way deep into the middle point of a relationship inbetween an empath an a narcissist.
    The empath has the same questions. Its the same insecurties in our heads.
    Will I be able to adore this person through troubled waters when I am left alone to fight the current?
    How will I fight the need to run away during those times when the hurt child is on command and the good part of his soul is not showing?
    How can I continue loving when all hurts?
    Love , love, love, laughter, caring, kissing, … When will this not be enough and what can I give then to make it enough again??
    Should we stop this dance when he doesnt bring anymore the euphoria of the beggining but just steps on my feet, pulls instead of guiding and everything is now just plain boring?

    When this questions are hidden the answers will never come on either side.
    Maybe a yes is the answer to dancepartners who are aware of how bad of a dancer the other can be and the erratic steps dont take them by surprise…
    Its just a thought of mine but at the end… Nobody knows and nobody has an answer.
    Have a good day☀️. This morning I had already thought about how very good excellent writer you are.
    Thanks for giving me this pleasure of starting my day with a good read. Is something I love. To read.

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    1. Your writing was very poetic to me as well , Nikita, I felt it as I read your words too. This post, more then any other struck a vibrational chord within me. It made me sad, yet hopeful. It made me cry, and smile. Like a whirlwind of emotion. This dance is almost eternal.

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  2. I suppose that when, I know why you do the things you do and you know why I do the things I do. The dance survives. Happily survives 🙂

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    1. It continues, if we hold out our hand….and take his In ours. If we tire of the music and the motion, it must stop. He will stop it. That is his job. There is no balance. He has absconded with the right. But, we know when the dance must end, the flickering lights, the din, no longer melodical, the dizziness which makes us sit this out.

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  3. This makes me deeply saddened inside. But it is, as always most beautiful and thought rendering writing HG. This speaks to what I believe is the ultimate Union. The twin flame Union, a divine Union bewteen two individuals Sharing one soul. Differing from the soul mate, as they are literally the other half of our soul. It is a spiritual belief that that we were one in the beginning and then were split into two beings. The purpose of the twin flame, is to experience differing lives throughout time, with the goal to Come Back together as one when the time is predestined. Once we have recognized and understood our lesson in our lifetimes, we will rejoin our other half.

    This usually occurs in our last lifetime on earth, so that both souls may join together as one again and ascend together. This Union is set with many obstacles to test the individuals, one half is often the runner, they cannot cope with the emotional attachment and overwhelming almost consuming power of the Union. So there is a constant push and pull between the two. One is the constant , the one who despite pain, hurt and betrayal, vows to remain true to their other half. To stay with them and ensure the Union does not fail. The goal of such a Union, which many believe is romantic and can be, is not it is to come tougher again as one to exact a change in the world to effect the lives of others to make a differnce. To then realize their purpose in this life. Once enlightenment is achieved through acceptance of their flaws and failings, they may ascend to a higher level together. It is when they become whole again they ascend To the spiritual realm once more. It is a purposeful union of two, who came from one. In joining together again, there is power to exact change in the world. Both individuals though different, have instrinsic Power to heal, to make a differnce in the lives of others in some way. Most often in a differing manner, but the end result is similar.
    I relate this to the empath and narcisist Union…..the empath is the constant, the narcissist is the runner, hence the silent treatments, escapes, inability to maintain relationship, the anger, the way in which criticism or challenge impacts the. Relationship, the obstacles between both indiicualals are meant to test each one. To remain together. This is a test that many fail. I do not equate this tthe narcissists who are physical violent and destructive in a most negative manner.

    I believe and I will not be swayed to abandon. Why I allowed him his time….silent treatments, why I forgave him when I found things out that hurt me, why I defend him and supported him and loved him, even when I didn’t feel loved back. Why when I know now what he is, I will still hold him in my heart and Remain strong through all tests set against me. If I appear weak, I am strong in my resolve. I will not be brought down. This will be my last lifetime. The lessons are almost learned. When it is complete the Ascension will be mine. If he was merely the precursor to the meeting of my actual twin, then his lesson has brought me closer to that Union and the finality of my lesson.

    YouTube has many videos on this concept if anyone is interetsed in learning of the twin flame Union.

    I apologize to the readers and you HG for my emotionalness on this topic, although your article had a varying approach, it said to me the same thing. I refuse to give up. I will be aware, I will be knowledgeable and I will learn and my lesson shall be completed. I will never stop believing in love and the power it has to heal and to be set free.

    I wrote this after reading you article. It may sound cynical , but it is just a release of emotions, questions and a need to understand whether to continue or begin again. It is the despair we are forced to feel and reconcile against. I do it through writing, communicating, non harmful avenues to others. I purge in the best way for myself. Through words.

    I wish I could see the demons in my head…

    They dance their little maniacal dance…

    Painting pictures of how my sense has fled…

    They jump from scene to scene

    Caught in some flickering self abusive trance…

    I wish I could face them and really understand..

    Why they plague me so.. so many

    Fears in silent movies flow as hour’s sand…

    Doubts as deep as any ocean..

    Rends my heart with legion’s thorns…so many..

    So many.. dreams…wishes…hopes…desires..

    Too easily invested… too carelessly given away?

    What should I think? Maybe just disappear…

    From a world that admonishes hopes

    Exacting payment for dreams carelessly displayed..

    So tell me why.. tell me why I should remain..

    In this strange and hostile atmosphere

    I’ll have to close my eyes, my heart and brain..

    Become some unfeeling automaton

    Like all the rest, just numbly standing here.

    I give up.. I don’t care.. Just take what you will

    I’ll not resist.. placid as a slaughtered sheep

    Just tell me where to go and what to feel

    I’ll march to whatever tune you play.

    I have nothing left to want or keep

    Why must we keep starting over……..

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    1. Karaa the poem is really touching ❤️.
      i loved the part below
      Tell me why , tell me why I shouldremain in this strange and hostile atmosphere
      And its sad that this is the question that all in a relationship with a narcissist pose themselves every day..
      Its sad because as you say the empath and the narcisist union is the twin flame that feels like sharing one soul. It could be the perfect love, but not in the sense of the lovebombing but in the sense of giving mutual spiritual care and like you say to make a difference in each others life.
      I have read once that the beauty of love is how it changes life and the empath and codependant union would have that power to change life and feel love in a higher dimension…. But for some reason it does fail.
      Thanks for sharing ❤️❤️

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      1. Thank you Nikita, I rushed off my feelings after reading the article and espousing my twin flame ideas. My ex won’t seek therapy for the guilt and shame and childhood issues, for any thing really. So, it was doomed, in that we must amend our past ourselves to learn such lessons. Yes, the love bombing is artificial and fabricated to gain the trust and love of another. But, mine continued for the entire three years on and off, he never once made me feel unintelligent or not beautiful or not a good person. He lashed out out of his own insecurities, which I loved him all the more for. It is a struggle as it takes two to make something work and last.
        Thank you for your thoughts and generous words xx

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  4. This is my favorite poem on this sad story of codependant love for a narcissist.

    Fused at the Wound

    is it love or is it addiction
    why not both
    she knows tears + I know anger
    together we almost made a whole person for a while
    fused at the wound.
    but our little house of lies isn’t big enough to hold us now
    she won’t stand up for herself + I can’t stand up
    for both of us at the same time anymore
    so we ride the broken lover’s seesaw of staying + leaving
    one foot in + one foot out
    we dance in the kitchen like unloved children + wait
    for fulfillment of old pain’s expectations.
    so anxious to leave so anxious to be left
    so anxious to be right so anxious to be hurt
    so anxious to be disappointed
    so anxious to be alone again.
    when this whole thing started
    I wanted us to be immersed in each other
    I wanted us to fix each other
    I thought that was what people were supposed to do
    I don’t want that anymore
    I don’t need that anymore
    but I still don’t know
    how to love someone I don’t want to fix.

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  5. Omg, Nikita that is so wonderful to read, I didnt even know you wrote poetry as well. Thank you for Sharing your own beautiful words with us ❤️❤️

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    1. Karaa, mine always made me feel beautiful and intelligent… He is extremely proud of my business and my daughter, and even in the midst of his violent anger, he still was singing my praises… More manipulation? Was this just to confuse me? His anger and rage were from his jealousy , all in his mind I must add…. He created these elaborate scenarios of me talking to other men, picking up on them, choosing others before himself… All stories which he embellished,liberally…. I’m sure he really believed his words…. He also did apologize for his rage and profanity… More lies? Manipulation? He told me he wanted to be a better man.” Staggering! He cares for his 84 year old mother, is generous with my daughter, and is loving with his own daughters… Bullshit or his reality? Is he conscience of any of this? Did he love me in his way and I let him down? I can sit and ponder this for hours but it becomes debilitating…

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      1. Yes, sari, it is manipulation, but I so much want to know that some aspects of our relationship were not faked. Their is no conscience I their behaviour, it is all about them and what we do for them. Not what they can do for us. If we are sad. Or sick or lonely , it doesn’t matter, that is about us, not them. The only want to be adored , they will happily lap up fake adoration then genuine love and care and affection.

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      2. It is all faked because it is not about doing anything or feeling anything for you, it is all about doing and saying in order to get your fuel.

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      3. It is all faked for you, personally, but can you really speak for anyone else….including another narc? What if there were components not faked, sure it was for fuel, but what if he really had affection and care for me…..what if he rally found me witty, or creative or attractive….three is so much that compromises a relationship to deem it all fake, is there not?

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      4. He has managed to create in you a desperation for something of it to be real. You are convinced this is the case and rather than accept that it is not, you keep seeking confirmation that it must have been genuine. He got you good.

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      5. Has he? Or maybe I just love him genuinely, despite his flaws. He is good, I agree I that point. He is different from me, I can accept different, he cannot accept himself.

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  6. When I first met him my overriding thought was he was a Divine Gift.

    I still believe this to be true, but for an entirely different reason.

    I wrote this a while back while still reeling from my awakening to the Truth:

    When the truth of you imploded
    Even the angels looked away
    From my haunted, lifeless form
    Raining their tears
    Frantically blowing their angel breath
    To save my bled out soul

    It came in one terrible instant
    The knowing “we” were nothing
    False promises and deceptive professions
    I laid there like ashes left from a smoldering fire
    A fire that went cold

    I won’t die…I won’t let you win…
    My heart won’t choke me
    Though it settles up in my throat
    Laden with tiny daggers floating
    About in wailing mucosa

    Volcanic anger
    Spewing sorrow and grief
    My mending heart pulsing with
    Images and memories
    Of once
    Believed
    Stories…
    Of soulmates and destiny
    Turned to
    Blood and endless tears

    A fate sealed nemesis disguised
    As a lover
    Always against me
    Never with me
    Your mask fell and what I saw was
    Predation
    Fabrication
    Deception
    Adulation
    Fornication
    Desperation
    Separation
    Eviseration

    Twelve seasons
    In a dream
    Awakened by
    Cold, hard
    Realization as I
    Free fall from your
    Grip…

    Crashing on the forest floor
    Naked, crazy, confused
    Entrails splayed out
    Choking through shame and
    Horror of my beloved’s betrayal
    Replaced by self loathing at my own…

    The cool earth
    Melts my fever
    The song of Angels tears
    Revive my pulse
    As the passage of time delivers
    The promise of fading memories
    Acceptance replaces hope

    Over eight seasons
    I didn’t die
    In His Grace and Mercy
    The angels brought me
    Home to the sanctuary of
    My own Heart…

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    1. Wow, Bethany so beautiful and soul baring. Writing poetry is very cathartic, for my last N I have written so many poems that range in every possible emotion. It helps to express feelings this way.
      I know HG isn’t keen on poetry, from my previous renderings, but, words come to us in the manner they are meant to.
      I apologize again, as I have unwittingly turned this into a poetry post. I however, most ardently adore poetry. So I am in bliss by you ladies ❤️

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      1. Maybe the only way that the empath and the narcisist union works out is when the two people are aware of their conditions.
        HG lets open a dating site for those aware of who they are.
        A question for you. If we take a sample of 100 people all narcissists, how many ( men and women) do you think are aware of their condition? How many of those who are aware would be willing to learn and modify their behaviour?

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      2. I would suggest around ten percent. I would suggest in answer your second question, zero per cent. Based on anecdotal experience and obviously my own.

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      1. Thank you Nikita. You too. ❤️. Recovery is an interesting journey. I see them Narc now as a rather significant event in my life. No longer classified as a relationship. It happened. It was a terrible lesson. Still piecing it all together but through the worst of it.

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    2. This is painful to read… But oh so accurate… I am somewhat removed from that kind of pain, but I can recall, resting in my bed at night and every breath was painful, and I was shaking with every exhale…. It’s hard to imagine now, but it was truly agonizing…. A terrible fate, in my mind, to be able to inflict this level of pain onto another….

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      1. Hmmmm okay HG. No mine is not about you. Its anyway a copy from codepedant school. Its Mainly about your kind but not about you. For you I would have something else… 💌
        But writting poetry was never my cup of tea. I rather adore reading it.

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  7. HG told me when I first found this site, Nikita that it would never work with my N, with me knowing what he is and still accepting him, as I then become a less desirable appliance to him 😞

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      1. I don’t even know that Nikita, HG never explained it to me, he just told me that. I tried to figure out why too, I assume that once we know that the rule isn’t as effective for them. That the fuel is best when the victim is unaware and believing they are loved.

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      2. Yes, I loved him regardless, my love was nevr contingent on his love of me, I don’t love that way, so if his love was false narcissistic mirroring then….so be it, mine was still real, but , I will admit he did instill addiction into the veins of my love for him.

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      3. There is no doubt your love was real, it always is with our victims and it is evident from your posts here Kara you are a particularly emotive person and a love devotee, which proves a significant attraction to you. You are correct that he instilled addiction, it was what we do.

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      4. My love is and was real. Sometimes I wonder why a narc would encourage women/ victims to seek no contact and revenge on his own kind, then I recall the reason why and smile 😊

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      5. Ok i get it. I read too fast this morning.
        Yes it makes sense what you say that they feel more powerful if the victim feel really loved… But again. Down to such a detail I think it depends ON the N

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      6. Yes, I agree too, I really don’t think, as much as they all do such similar tactics. They all think the same….Hg maybe could elaborate for us on this, to help us better understand.

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      7. It has been so long since asking , I almost forget it…why are we seen as less desirable appliances when we become aware he is a N? If we continue to feed him fuel, in the same manner as before.

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      8. It is pure in my heart still……if he listens to me and what I tell him, he would know this, i he did not allow shame to muddle his thinking.

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    1. There is no way to win. If we love them, the relationship is damned. If we leave them, it’s damned. If we are honest and accepting, it’s damned. If we try to play along, it’s damned. There is no way to make it work…not for the long term.

      The relationship is the ultimate Rubik’s cube.

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      1. Know, they want us to believe there might be a way, but that is only to Mantain the fuel, not us…the fuel is the precious thing.

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  8. Really zero percent? Probably they cant right… Rather than not wanting??
    Well I guess like karaa says excluding physical violance which is 100% unacceptable, i think being able to tell the partner you are acting like this because of your narcissism and understanding the why of this behaviour, is probably a whole different story and relationship.
    And also knowing all this fuel story… Knowing you have to provide fuel and what type of fuel…

    Now all the readers will be thinking about answering yes to your question above 😂😂😂

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    1. Yes, Nikita, if he was honest with me and told me he was a narcissist and that he loved me Still loved me. But in The way he was able to and meaningful to him. That he did the things he did because of a need and means of self survival, that it isn’t personal. Then if he asked if I could still love him the same, my answer would be yes?..as to be honest, Narcissism wouldn’t have been the worst thing he had told me about his behaviour. I gave him so many opportunity to tell when I presented facts to him. He knew he could have told me, unless he didn’t know himself why he does what he does. It is so complicated. More then it truly needs to be.

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      1. Karaa Thanks for your message. Well yes now that you mention my X , I was pretty sure he knew what he was, because he did not tell me directly I am a narcissist but he was clarifiying to me alot of the narcissistic interactions he had with me. Like how he loved, that he was a very dominant person and how I should tell him when I felt that, that he will stir always the conversation to his side, that he is an asshole on how direct he was, how he liked everything well done (perfectly done)… . He also told me that by looking at me he would know exactly what I liked, what I would not like, that he always made situations specially and specially beautiful but that at the same time being with him was extremely difficult as he overanalyzed everything and went to the core but in an objective and very factual way.
        From reading HG i learned this was his way of getting fuel from devaluation.
        Never with insults or screams. He hated that. I guess this is why he found in my the perfect partner.
        Ah and of course the flirting. Which he did overtly gather fuel but always kept distance. He had to his side being extremely extremely handsome. Women just drifted to him but he had a strict scale on how he would place woman in this scale.
        I probably missed that he confessed more on what I knew about narcissism and I was full of fear, waiting for the garden to turn into the nightmare HG describes.
        What can I tell you… The last part of the relationship was ok…
        At least you could talk with him that he would not feel critisized and that was an advantage.
        I guess when you love somebody there are many flaws you can take from this person as long as you can discuss them.
        Personally degrading critics, insults, screams and violence I would not take. Neither that my deepest vulnerabilities and emotional weakest points are hmered on.
        They are all so different… All so complex and misterious.
        Nice day ☀️☀️ For you

        I

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  9. Ah forgot to tell you I never received silent treatment of days… Dont know what I would do there. I guess normal try to find out what happened and if it does not work then I guess wait ….

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  10. Yes, Nikita, when we scan our memories back through the relationship like slowly rewinding a film…or rereading letters and emails, we can see where they told us aspects of who they really are. I understand why most would not disclose their true nature, but in all his etc, mine knew me and how I am, I know he knew he could tell me anything and still have my devotion or fuel, etc….which makes me think, he didn’t know or was ashamed of what he was. For nine, I wondered maybe the fact I didn’t rage at him, resulted in no negative fuel for him and that crates the longer silent treatments in an effort to draw it out of me. But he conditioned me to those silent treatments and undoing so he also created the response from me. We often create our own beasts in others, by the behaviour we allow them to continue on with.
    Have a fabulous day too xxx

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  11. Thanks Karaa. I understand.
    I did not rage at mine neither. At nobody. I think my last one did look for a reaction but not a raging one. I think that would have been the fastest way to get rid of him by him getting rid of me. He considered those behaviours of raging primitive. He hated it.
    Or maybe he thought if somebody would get to rage, that could only be him. It dont know but I know raging that would have not been allowed at all with him.

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  12. I agree with Karaa on the relationship not being all a fake. Even if it is for fuel it does not mean its fake. It was his reality. As Karaa does not seek fuel then we can say it was a fake for her but in reality it is not all fake.. I think.

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    1. Of course it is fake. You think we exhibited some real love, affection or call it what you will, for you. We did not. We loved the fuel. The reason our hold on you is so effective is because you are a love devotee and cannot stand to think that it was not real at all. This keeps you connected to us. It is by design and it is damn effective.

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      1. HG its fake for me because its you getting fuel and not loving me for what I am. But your fuel is your reality right?
        I need love, you need fuel. But its us. Its just unfortunately different ways of feeling.
        A real fake for me would be for example a woman who fakes love for money, or for status or for whatever objective.

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      2. Yes it is our reality but the motive for our love is no different than that of a gold digger. It is not about you, it is about what you give us.

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      3. Okay okay I see it… Yes this is why you mention that shall the person fail to give you what you want, you will shine your light somewhere else.
        Yes if you look at it like that then yes its not so real.
        But when you look at it one stage before. All the fun and thrill and ” love” that comes from you when you receive good fuel and when me I give it… Doesnt feel very fake.

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      4. Of course it does not feel fake. It would not be any use if it felt fake to you. If it did, you would not be bound to us nor would you provide the flow of positive fuel that we demand. It has to seem real to you in order for it to work. Our fakery is even better than the real thing.

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      5. You seem agitated, is everything okay HG? My point is only that, we loved….sincerely and hold no malice in our hearts. I would think for a narc, that would be your ideal victim. She who forgives and will continue to give what you require. The fact that he has resisted what he needs, tells me he cannot hurt me any longer, that I have effected him. In a relationship we adopt characteristics of each other through time. I cannot dismiss the possibility of regret or remorse, even if you cannot feel it for your victims. Until he tells me otherwise in his own words and fri his own mouth, I will stand by this belief. Hence, the need for closure.

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      6. If I am nothing , I am strong I that I suppose. I am aware of what he is and what he did. But onthe other side of that, I see why he did it as well. How can I hate him for that which he is compelled to do and be?

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      7. I don’t hate him, I don’t need hi. To tell it was real HG, I need the opposite, I need hi to tell me he nevr loved me and I was nothing to him, I need the truth, not a lie from him, I need the cold hard truth to set me free, but it simp,y has to come from. Him, alone.

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      8. But why would he tell you this when he knows he can keep getting so much fuel from you by telling you the very thing you believe in and the very thing he has caused you to think?

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      9. Because e will know I know, but in that knowing , he also knows I know much else of him and his childhood and his past and I have nevr made me him shame or guilt….that is why for me. Then it besides a battle of wills, he knows I won’t release…..so he either stays away so as not to have me inform him of my knowledge or he stays away until he can diffuse my knowledge…

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    2. Exactly, see HG, are we both wrong in your ideology? It was fake from your perspective, not from ours, we do not need fuel, unless you see our need to give and receive love as such? Yes, much was insincere and fuel motivated, we ere viewed the same as other women, but, for me,he said things that showed I was not the same. That he had regret with me and he knew he could hurt me, that he knew he was safe with me and I think that scared him. I think what might become real for him, made me shudder inside.

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      1. And you swallowed those lies so willingly and continue to do so. You regard yourself as an arch-giver of love, bearing no malice or hatred despite how you are treated and consequently he said all the things you would want to hear in order to perpetuate your belief that he showed you some “real” love or that he bore “regret”.

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      2. I did swallow it out of my belief and trust, yes I admit so. I cannot be forced to hate him, it will nevr ever happen. I forgive him.

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      3. I am Sorry, I am being difficult in this, I don’t mean to agitate you. I guess I am pretty much alone in my thinking, but I find it difficult to back down on what I believe in.

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      4. I am atypical, I have told you, nothing sways but my own resolve….I have red ten of your books, will read many more, I absorb all you state, but my own resolve is almost I moveable, I am stubborn, perhaps….well when you figure it out or me, please inform me,a s well 😏

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      5. Ah by the way I just received the subscription mail from melania tonia which is exactly todays subject. How to continue being an empath but not attract narcissists 😂😂😂😂

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      6. I do!!! I have bought every single book from you except the one of the female narc.
        I just thought it was funny the mail coming. Today.
        HG I am pretty sure you will remain invisible always. You are the king of N’s

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  13. I agree with Nikita,two different realities of one relationship, we are real in it and you are fake. But your fake ness, does not Negate our feelings as being genuine. Or our acceptance of them and working towards moving on and healing, the way that best suits us.

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    1. Your feelings are genuine. You try to convince yourself that what we felt was genuine but it was not. The sooner you grasp that it was not real, it was fake and designed to obtain fuel, the sooner you can move on. Your narcissist knew what you are and how you wish to seek closure, like some benevolent ethereal creature that will not deal in hate but despite all her wounds you will still exhibit love and all you want is confirmation that what he felt was real, so he continued to tap into this belief and perpetuate it because it kept you bound to him and flowing with fuel.

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      1. I cannot change who I am, anymore then he can change himself….so we stand, on opposite sides, but I do not stand in opposition of him.

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  14. I understand you will never see my stance on this, but please do not become angered over it. It is just my lowly opinion. And I am so often wrong.

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      1. So be it, he has those still….he knows me, I know him…he knows what he does and what I think and feel….I am not that naive.

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      2. This is difficult to swallow HG. Is it for all N’s like this ?? But when I deeply think about it then yes. THis would explain what they did with my ex-husband and ExN3. Both did totally different things but exactly what mostly frustrated me. Although ExN3 becuase of his professional background did it so convert that I would have never realized it. He anyway did not bring me to tears or me to express my frustration but he knew the feeling he was causing. :-(.
        With ExN2 it was all very obvious. He would critisize me from morning to dawn.
        And again please repeat it because its just something difficult to enter my head. This tears and frustration for fuel for you to feel powerful and in control over me.
        Well anyway, harsh but thanks for the lesson.

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  15. Well then if you feel any connection to another’s emotional landscape, you must be feeling bliss right now through me. But seeing you do not know me, as he knows me, you could not be able achieve the same power he does from my fuel. As you do not know how I feel fully emotionally, as he did.
    This conversation. Is important to me, so being emotionally upset Is worth it, to get answers. So thank you for indulging these questions.

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  16. Interesting post and more interesting discussion after it.

    The main problem in Narc-Empat relationship is the wrong expectation from both parts. Although, I have to admit that Narcs know what they want better then Empaths in that case.

    Narcs lie and create the false reality to catch empaths, but many empaths lie and create the false reality too! Double lie and wrong expectations!

    If you are an ordinary person (and you know it!) and your partner gives you the ordinary flowers, you feel comfortable with it. That’s what you deserve exactly. You can “pay” him back with bottle of good beer, for example. You can afford it and he knows he deserves it. Both of you are happy.

    But if you an ordinary person (but you don’t know it or don’t want to admit it to yourself!) and your partner gives you the red Ferrari, you can’t pay him back with equal favor. You can’t afford it. But, your partner thinks you can, because you let him think so in the beginning of relationship. And then problems begin. “I gave you everything, you gave me nothing”. Wrong expectations from one or both parts.

    If you know your own “price” and entirely accept it, if you know what you can give back and you can tell this directly to your partner, you’ll escape all disastrous mistakes in your life. Banal phrase “Be yourself” is well known, but often ignored.

    Honesty is a key point to everything. Be yourself and don’t expect more than you deserve. Know your own “price”. Play in your own league. If you think “It is too good to be true”, run away. It is not your league. You can’t afford it.

    Be yourself and everything will be alright.

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