When You Met Yourself
“Hello ladies, so good of you to join me, I know you have been looking forward to this for some time, well perhaps it would be more accurate if I was to say that one of you has been looking forward to this meeting and the other has been somewhat apprehensive about doing so. Anyway, let me effect the introductions. Miss Victoria Tim please meet Miss Prudence Spect. Miss Spect this is Miss Tim. I of course need no introduction. Excellent, well now we are all acquainted why don’t we sit down. Are you all right Miss Tim, you seemed to wince when you sat down?”
“There was something sharp on this wooden bench,” Miss Tim explains, ” It is a tack,” she holds up the offending item.
“Oh dear, who could have left that there?”
“You most likely, it is just the type of thing you would do to try and unsettle me, you nasty bastard.”
“Now, now Miss Tim, please, there need not be any need for such language, let us be civil, after all I have always been civil with you have I not?” I declare pleasantly.
“My backside you have been civil you piece of poison. You are the nastiest piece of work I have ever had the misfortune to meet, I hate you.”
“Please Miss Tim, there is no need and I can see you are unnerving Miss Spect here.”
“How come she gets the large comfortable seat and I am perched on this wooden bench thing which is too low down, I am having to crane my neck to speak to you both.”
“Oh I don’t know, I would offer you my seat but it is bolted to the floor as is Miss Spect’s.”
“Well you and I can swap seats then?” Miss Tim suggests to me.
“I cannot do that, I must sit in the middle here and ensure that the conversation is kept civil and polite, I cannot be seen to sit closer to one party than the other.”
“Ever the considerate one aren’t you?” sneers Miss Tim sarcastically.
“But of course dearest Vicky, the voice of reason as you well know.”
Miss Tim screws her face up at my comment and then turns to look across the table at Miss Spect who has sat saying nothing, her face showing a degree of concern at the hostility exhibited by Miss Tim towards me.
“You’ve not said much?” remarks Miss Tim.
“Well no, I haven’t been able to have I. Look Saul I don’t think there is any point in this continuing, you warned me about what she would be like and she has behaved just as you described. Now wonder you left her.”
“It is unfortunate, I thought after all the good times we had together we could at least move on, but it seems that the vitriol she subjected me to when things turned sour, I still do not understand why they did, continues to flow.” I comment.
“Ha, have you heard yourself? My vitriol? My vitriol? You were the one who abused me and called me names, you locked me out of the house and used to take my car keys from me so I could not go anywhere and that is just the tip of the iceberg.”
I shake my head and make tutting noises.
“But Saul just mentioned you had good times together, I know we do, we have wonderful time when we get together, he is so attentive and loving. So generous too, do you like my bracelet?” asks Miss Spect as she thrusts her wrist forward showing off a delicate Tiffany bracelet.
“I had one just like it my dear, he is not one for originality,” mutters Miss Tim.
“Where is it then?” I ask.
Miss Tim hesitates.
“I sold it.”
“Oh how convenient,” I mock giving her a knowing look.
“I did, I did not want any reminder of your hand about me any longer.”
“If he did give you such a bracelet surely you would have kept it, it is so pretty,” smiles Miss Spect presently.
“Not a chance. All the things he gave me I either burned or sold, even though it pains me to admit it that I got rid of some good stuff.”
“It is true dear Pru that I did buy her some gifts, of course nothing as expensive or beautiful as I bought you, a few trinkets and such like but it shows the measure of her nastiness that she would hawk around and destroy my gifts, I know you would never do anything like that would you?”
“Oh goodness no, why would I ever want to get rid of all the wonderful things you have bought for me, you are so kind and thoughtful,” trills Miss Spect.
“Enjoy it while it lasts my dear, it won’t. You know, he had me thinking the same way as the one before me, made her out to be some kind of lunatic alcoholic but I doubt she is, not when I realised how many lies this one tells,” she remarks jabbing a finger towards me.
“Take no notice Pru, Stephanie, my girlfriend before Vicky here was a lovely lady. Unfortunately she had to move away owing to work commitments. I was a little down afterwards but then Vicky arrived very quickly. I was not looking of course, I still had Stephanie very much in my thoughts.”
“Utter nonsense, you came after me. He flattered and chased and promised me all sorts, they do that you see, his kind. He told me Stephanie used to attack him and cut up all his clothes.”
“More lies, when will you ever stop? Spoken to Stephanie have we?” I ask knowing that Miss Tim cannot do so.
“Well no, but the way you went on about here she sounded like she should have been locked up.”
“I never said anything of the sort. You want to think ill of her in order to stop me thinking about her because you wanted me. I fell for you, I will admit that, sorry Pru, but the point of us meeting is to be honest. You asked about Vicky and I know she was very keen to meet you after I sent her some pictures of you and I together. I had to you see. After the awful way I was treated by her, I wanted her to see that she had not destroyed me and that I had found someone who understood me and cared for me, someone who got me, a soulmate if you will.”
“Of course Saul, I understand. I know from what you have told me that you were hurt and vulnerable after what happened. I can see you told me the truth as, well I am sorry to be blunt Miss Tim, but you clearly have issues. I am with Saul now and you may not like that but that is the way it is. You cannot expect to have him back after what you did to him. It was not right to treat someone that way.”
“I don’t know what treacle he has poured in your ears, well actually I do Prudence dear because he did exactly the same to me. Made Stephanie sound a right harpy and then drew me in. Everything was sweetness and light but you will see, it will all turn to shit, he will manipulate you and have you swearing black was white. He is a clever sod I will give him that,” spits Miss Tim.
“I see nothing of what you describe save a kind and loving man who has been badly hurt and I intend to keep him. He loves me and I love him and it is a perfect love, isn’t that the case Saul?”
“Of course my darling Vic, I mean Pru, we have a perfect love and it shall remain ever so.”
“Mark my words missy, he will lift you up so high you cannot see the ground and then he will smash you into the ground and smear you with dirt, he will break you, wound you and strip everything away from you before throwing you to one side,” hisses Miss Tim her eyes blazing with fury.
“Can we go Saul, I have had enough, I said I would meet her and I have and I don’t like her. You don’t need to be around someone so….so toxic.” Miss Spect rises from her seat.
“Ladies please, can we not keep matters calm and have a mature discussion? I have tried to broker a sensible discussion between you both,” I protest raising my hands.
“No I want to go Saul, I don’t like her,” declares Miss Spect.
“That’s right you run away dear and put your head in the sand,” adds Miss Tim. Miss Spect makes for the door.
“I will wait outside Saul, are you coming?”
“Well if you feel this meeting is of no longer any use then of course, feel free to leave, I shall be with you shortly,” I smile pleasantly.
“Go on, run away, you will be sat here in a year’s time Prudence, oh yes you will. You are meeting yourself here you know, meeting yourself,” cries Miss Tim. Miss Spect leaves the room and closes the door.
“Got her brainwashed as well haven’t you, you evil creature,” sneers Miss Tim.
“I have no idea what you are talking about,” I continue to smile as I lean in close. The smile never leaves my face as I speak slowly into Miss Tim’s ear.
“I have you in my eye you crone and if you ever contact her again I will crush you little lady. I know where you have moved to. That red front door has just been painted hasn’t it?”
I step back and look into Miss Tim’s eyes. The flames have been extinguished and that familiar look of fear has returned, the one I know so well. I walk around the table and leave Miss Tim sat completely still, her eyes staring ahead as I know every memory of her torment is now playing through her mind.
“Such a pleasure to see you again, I am sure it won’t be too long before it happens again,” I cry cheerfully and then exit through the door.
Another successful meeting.
38 thoughts on “When You Met Yourself”
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Is THIS why my ex used to be so keen for me to meet his ex girlfriends “asking about me”? I could never figure it out how he was still friends with them if they treated him as bad as he said.
Indeed and note how you did not act on that Red Flag, Miss Empath, just like hundreds of millions of others.
Hi HG,
An off question, but why did you have a different name or even name yourself in this story?
Never mind finally got it. Really dislike everything that name/word means.
That must have amused You dear G…
The key to winning is to not enter the theatre, let alone get on the stage. For me the new victim ( along with his Ashley Madison profile activities and his out-of-town married trysts) kept him entertained while I behind the scenes planned and executed our escape. The new victim is now his first lieutenant, manipulated to try to break through our “no contact”. Our children had wanted to warn her but it would only endanger them. The key to our survival depends on him keeping her as his fuel supply. The inner conflict for us is our knowledge that our assets were used for him to love bomb her.
It sounds to me that your children have taken after you rather than him with that desire to warn the new victim.
HG, what happens when my ex N tries to triangulate me (or whatever random manipulative tactic of the day it may be) and Ive called him out on his next moves, sometimes down to the smallest detail when I’m on my A game 😉 but just letting him know that I am aware of his manipulation and what he’s up to? He’s not used to me pushing back on him like this or telling him what he’s doing before he even does it (thanks to your books and other forms of research for the past year). As I do this, I laugh at any response he gives. he seems to get upset at something I say in those moments that I “check” him and at his attempts to put me down, cuss at me and call me names but never getting explosive mad like I used to and firing back, but coming back at him giggling or with calm responses that divert from his various manipulative verbal attacks that used to work for him but now it doesn’t. If I even choose to respond, I already know what he’s doing as soon as he completes a sentence so now I’m very different with him as in I don’t react to anything he tries and I call him on his games and the plans that he has with them. (Thank you again HG!) I guess my question is, what is this doing to him or is he even picking up on the change in me towards him? Or is this where he would take it as I’m not giving him the fuel he needs as the ex intimate partner so he will not think on it at all and just leave me alone?
You have seized the power. You are denying him fuel and in your anticipation of his manipulative tactics is negating his power which in turn becomes an inherent criticism of him. His fury will be ignited and he needs to find fuel to repair the damage you are causing to him through this criticism. He needs fuel and you are not giving it to him. He will either withdraw or shield himself and seek fuel elsewhere. If you have not read Fury yet I suggest you do as this will tell you all about what is happening to him. He will leave you alone as he seeks fuel elsewhere. He will make further attempts at a Follow-up Hoover (either malign or benign) in the future as the lure of Hoover fuel is too great (this is detailed in Black Hole – which is out next week) but you are doing a good job of sending him packing, even if for a while whilst he licks his wounds and fuels elsewhere.
I think fury might be the only one I had not read yet! no wonder I still had a question that I hadn’t got an answer to yet from your books or blogs lol makes sense now. I’ll definitely read fury this week and good to know that Black Hole is coming out too that will help me when he comes back with the follow up Hoover! Yessssss!! Thanks for the heads up and for confirming that I’m not giving him the fuel he needs from me 🙂 hugs! (Not your fave thing I know haha)
Ha ha well remembered, you are welcome.
Although I do not see it like a succesful meeting but I do agree that a man or women defends his or her right to have a new relationship in peace
I think my ex narc overestimated his control over me post breakup. I admit, I did fall apart with the silent treatment after the text breakup. However, once I cornered him and got answers….I left him alone. He then started mini Hoovers and phone games. I then told him if he was determined to make the breakup stick..then a friendship wouldn’t be possible for a while. He refused to talk about so I went on with my life…I only contacted him after that because my dad and stepmom died…..
What a huge mistake that was! He then discarded me when I was at my lowest…..
He tried to triangulate me by reactivating his dating profile on the same dating site we met on. He knew I still got emails notifying me of mutual matches (although I had a hidden profile during our relationship and post breakup). He knew I’d see it. That was the last straw. I have been no contact since January 6, 2016. He didn’t think I would be able to stay away this long. He has since tried to hack my facebook and gmail. He has also created fake facebook pages and tried to add me as a friend.
He thought me knowing he was dating again would have destroyed me. It didn’t. I am not sure what he has planned for me next….I wish he’d just move on. He wants to be able to “upgrade” me and throw it my face….he hasn’t been able to…and I think that makes him angry,
Keeping the no contact rule up has given me my strength back!
Thanks, HG!
You are welcome T.
What an unconfortable situation in between two people who have to face the painful end of a relationshio and onother one who is just at the start of something and has to go through harassment from the ex. Probably all men like to have women confronted and fighting for them ( N2 told me all the time. I want a woman that fights for me against another woman and makes me the center of her life-that rang no bells 9 years ago-). If this situation comes when the new ex is the root cause and reason for the separation, then I guess it will get difficult and she probably will have to face more harassments from the betrayed person. If the new one is not the cause then the situation is unfair because at the end everybody is free to go and remake their lives. Unless the man is playing with both…..
HG did this happen in your life??? Baby you must be the catch of the life!!! 😘
Ha ha it was drawn from various instances and a hypothetical scenario using these various instances was created.
Your such a genious to write !!! Are you not going to write a long book or a novel or something? I will be the first buyer.
By the way for target I think I made it to the first also 😀
Thank you as ever Nikita.I have a few works up my sleeve so you shall have to wait and see!
Well done ladies, that you did not fall for such entrapments. We were all duped by master manipulators and deceitful Devils. But, The power remains within us not to turn on each other. That is an immense strength to refuse to harm another at the say or demand of another, a man, a lover.
Mind you I was On the receiving of such trickery by those who blindly followed and believed him, though. It hurts to know you stand in truth and be painted the wrong doer, by people you either do not know or barely know. Worse by those you trust and have attended to.
Hi janaa , i was triangulated with a willing female – disgrace to our gender . I never blame the other women , its him who should respect us . The mind gsmes and lies are overwelming . And now cos of his smear campaign , im seen as the mad one ?
And well meaning people say pull yourself together etc – they dont even try to understand . One day my heart and brain will align
I am sorry Christine xx no people do not understand or listen when they are warned. I tried to warn someone in the past. I hope that alignment occurs soon for you.
This is one scenario you would never catch me in… I let him do his own damage and destruction all by himself and hope that the truth comes out that way… My narc only mentioned past relationships in passing… I think he tried to show me a pic of one of them when he was raging at me, I declined the offer… I am sure there are others that know the truth about him, he can’t possibly be civil for very long… I know my worth and my truth… It’s enough.
HG, this a very, very clever and well constructed post. Thank you
Thank you Alexis. Tell your friends !
I already have HG. 🙂
Just a thought though & another question .
I’ve noticed how fast your replies are & that’s very much appreciated .
I wonder though if by posting we are drip feeding you fuel , not that I mind . Just an observation . Of course we must be .
Do you have a little ringtone set up or does it ” ping ” onto your PC?
How does you explain this to your new target ? The more users your blog gets , the more fuel right ?
You are welcome. I have confirmed that I am getting fuel from the interactions but it is of a low variety owing to the fact that I do not know anybody who posts here and it is a remote method of interaction. I have the blog set-up on various devices and when I go to it there is a notifier advises me of likes, follows and moreover comments. I am of course about other things at times and therefore there is sometimes a delay in posting and responding but you have caught me before I head out. How do I explain it to my new target? I am not giving away all my secrets but rest assured they have no idea what I am doing. As for more users, well, the joy and delight I have in spreading the news to so many delightful people is its own reward!!
Thanks HG for you’re detailed replies . 🙂
Make sure you have your mobile phone with you ..
But you already have , haven’t you 🙂
Beep . A new comment . 🙂
I’m so glad I sat on my hands at narcs ” attempts ” to triangulate me.
10/10 for trying . Top of the class . !00%.. & a MASSIVE computer says noooo from yours truly ..
Makes me all warm & fussy inside knowing how much fuel he put into it it & he didn’t get a single drop in return. I love it .:)
Same 🙂 feels good doesn’t it 🙂
🙂 Alexis . The best feeling in the world because he tried for 10 months solid . Imagine .
The hours, weeks & days he wasted trolling & stalking me trying soooo hard to provoke a reaction for nothing . The more he tried the more amusing for me it became . In the end I was always going to win , his arrogance was his downfall .
When he hacked my FB page I’d already set up a new one . When he posted libelous comments on a forum I used regularly the police were informed & he was visited . . When he was drunk he’d post on Google chat then delete the comments because he knows that this is one battle he can never win 🙂 The coward in him knows that if he ever oversteps the mark the authorities will be informed .
So yes It feels amazing . Thank you x
HG . Can I ask a question please ? How does it feel when you try triangulation & don’t get the desired response ?
And yes I agree with Alexis a very well constructed post as always . Thank you .
You showed you are quite the opponent there So Sad. How does it feel when my triangulation does not work? I don’t know is the straight answer. You see the advantage about triangulation is that it gives me two bites of the cherry in order to obtain fuel. Taking our players from the article I am looking for negative fuel from Vicky by parading my new love Pru in front of her and showing her off. I am also telling Pru to watch out for the mad and dangerous Vicky but not to worry as all is well between Pru and I and I shall protect her from the machinations of Vicky. If Vicky bites and gets angry and upset at news of Pru there is my negative fuel. If Pru thanks me for warning her about Vicky and feels threatened by her she admires me all the more – there is the positive fuel. If Vicky does not bite at my goading then Pru may still respond and give me the positive fuel based on the perceived threat of another trying to harm me (or win me back dependent on how I play it). Similarly, if Pru is relaxed about the competition but Vicky still gets wound up then I get the negative fuel. I often get both but not always,but usually get one or the other. Remember I choose people who I know have the traits that will cause them to relax. If somehow both targets have become wise to my writings and neither responds then I would look to find fuel by using a different manipulative technique from my toolkit, seek out a new primary source if the current one was faltering and/or turn to my supplementary sources. I would feel unsettled by the failure to obtain the fuel from V or P and therefore would need to alter that situation.
The entirety of shame is that men know that they can put women against each other in competition for their attention and affection. Why triangulation is so successful. The greatest shame to me is In the women who blindly. Follow and Believe the man. That women have been so conditioned through time and by men, to view one another as rivals in the arena of affection or advancement or attraction.
That they without question turn upon each other to maintain a hold and ensure their successfulness….while the man stands back and enjoys the production he is directing.
I say, let the play be cancelled for lack of suitable players. The world is not but a stage, it is a reality and people can become hurt and harmed and damaged for a long time through the careless actions of others.
If ye have no conscience, then play on.
No man is worth forfeiting my conscience or my compassion. We need to listen to what others tell us and not just be blinded by the Gilded glare of false love and promises.
Indeed although there will always be sufficient players to take to this stage and there is nothing careless about it, it is all by design.
I forsee many death scenes in these incumbent Tragedies…death by love, by sorrow, by trust. By remorse, by jealousy and an endless so forth…
Reminds me of the line in the Fleetwood Mac song….” Players only love you, when they’re playing”
Dreams. A song which also contains the lyric, “It’s only right that you should play the way you feel it.” so I do.
I used to play that song on repeat after the MN. It just kept the reality of it real for me.
His illness was the trump card, Its the only way he made me play !
Hello Janna .:)
I have so much respect for you & how you’ve managed to understand what’s happened in such a short space of time .
Be kind to yourself .
Accept there will be good days , bad days & I don’t want to live anymore because of the emotional pain days .
Time does heal . Much love & you’re in my thoughts
So Sad xx