The Sex Hex

 

I was in session with Dr E.

“So,” I asked, “what is today’s topic for discussion?”

“Sex,” he replied.

“Do I have to talk about this with you?”

He pushed his spectacles back.

“You do not have to talk about anything, but I would hope you would discuss this with me.”

“Can’t I talk to Dr O about sex?”

“Why? Are you uncomfortable discussing sex with another man?” he asked. I could see he had his pen poised ready to make a note.

“Not at all. Sorry, doctor but there is no homophobia about me.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well you were about to suggest that my reluctance to discuss matters of sex with you denotes a homophobic trait on my part.”

“Not at all, that would be prejudging you and an unsafe basis for analysis.”

“I don’t believe you,” I replied.

“Why would you rather discuss sex with Dr O?” he asked. He showed no sign of irritation or disappointment at my preference.

“I would be interested to learn her views about sex. She is so pristine and clinical when I see her, I want to know what goes on under the bonnet.”

“These sessions are about you not us,” said Dr E.

“Don’t worry Dr E I have no interest in whether you apply nettles to your scrotum or whatever it is you do to excite yourself.”

“Is that something you have done?” he asked.

“No but I have used them on someone else.”

“Male or female?”

“Female.”

“Why?”

“The stinging sensation across the nipples or the inner thighs of course hurts but then that gives way to a delicious flood of pleasure when combined with the application of my tongue.”

Dr E was scribbling.

“I see, so you enjoy the fact it hurts the other person and then becomes pleasurable for her?”

“No.”

“Please do expand.”

“Will I get to talk about sex with Dr O?” I asked, shifting topic.

“On some aspects of sex, yes,” replied Dr E. I smiled.

“Good. Very well since that is going to happen and I will hold you to that promise Dr E, I will expand on my point.”

“I do it because the issue of that person’s pain and then pleasure is entirely at my gift. I control it and that appeals to me considerably.”

“So control in an sexual encounter is important to you?” asked Dr E.

“Control is the sexual encounter for me. I have little interest in my own sexual gratification, yes it feels pleasant when I orgasm but ultimately I can do that myself and invariably with more intense results. I have even less interest in the sexual gratification of another person. Denying them that sexual gratification? Now that is far more enjoyable than granting them their release. Sex is all about control. I am highly skilled in between the sheets.”

“Is that your conclusion or of others?”

“Both. You see I know how people think, I know how they react and I have had many sexual encounters with many different people. There are vast numbers of different permutations when it comes to what satisfies a person and no two people are the same.  I am like a super computer. I can rattle through the various combinations until I hit the right approach which will send my bedroom companion into orbit. I am willing to apply every part of my body, every facet of my sexual knowledge in order to make that person feel utterly orgasmic. That gives me huge control over them and makes me very powerful. I know what turns them on, what makes them moan and scream and shudder in orgasmic bliss. I use this massively powerful ability of mine to bring them under my spell. Once that is done I will grant it and deny it as and when I see fit. I will purposefully do the things that does not arouse them in order to make them react. I will caress a partner in a public place and whisper in their ear that if they show any kind of reaction to what I am doing I will stop and deny them any sexual congress for an indefinite period. This gives them an earth shattering orgasm and underlines my control over them. I will interrupt a row with a girlfriend by taking her against the kitchen workbench. She soon forgets what the argument was about as I have her moaning in delight before I just walk off before she climaxes. Imagine how she follows me about the house begging for me to “finish her off”? Think of the promises she makes just to feel me inside her again? That is control. That is power. I work out a person’s sexual key code and deliver heaven. They find that addictive and want it so much. I find the power attached to this ability addictive. When you go to bed with me you are getting the best. Nobody afterwards will come close to what I give you.”

There was a long pause as Dr E jotted down my words. He looked a little flustered to me. I wished it was Dr O sat there instead.

“Do you think a sexual encounter should be about something other than control?”

I laughed at this comment,

“Heavens no, that is its only function. It is an instrument, like so many other things, to bring you under my spell, but I must admit, it is probably one of the most potent and effective instruments. Sex is actually rather boring but controlling the reaction and emotions of another person, well, now that is far more interesting.”

“Have you ever wondered what it would be like to give up that control and allow yourself to be enveloped in the ‘moment’ with the other person?” asked Dr E.

“No I cannot give up control. You see, I know there are those that engage in being tied up and punished, you know smacked with an open hand or a cane. They may get a sexual reaction from being treated like this but the real reason they do it is that they are giving up control. I had a girlfriend who was very submissive and allowed me to do…well I will let you use your imagination there doctor, but she wanted zero control. She was high up in a bank and responsible for millions of pounds and hundreds of employees and she wanted to be divested of that responsibility and give up her control if only for an hour or two. I found her explanation interesting but I could not understand it. Why give up control? Why surrender something you have worked hard to achieve? Control is the ultimate aim of taking someone to bed. I control them in that bed and the spell I put on them means that control extends far beyond the bedroom, such is its power.”

Dr E nodded and continued writing.

“What if you lost your sexual potency? What if you became impotent?” he asked.

“Why would that happen?”

“Plenty of reasons. Alcohol abuse, substance abuse, diabetes, age, anxiety. There are many reasons why this could happen.”

I shook my head.

“People like me don’t suffer that. God gave me the gift of sexual brilliance to further my purposes, He would not take it away from me.”

“But if it did happen, what would you do? How would you manage with such a loss of this marvellous instrument of control?”

“Are you taking the piss now doctor?” I snapped.

“Not at all. Just posing a relevant question aligned to your desire for control.”

“Listen doctor, don’t project your problems in that department onto me, okay?”

Dr E remained silent. I copied him and just sat in silence glaring at him. How dare he suggest I would lose my potency? What an idiot. He ought to know better than that by now. I kept staring at him waiting for his next clever remark but he just stared back. This stand-off went on for a few minutes but I knew he would look away first. I maintained my baleful gaze as the fury at his impertinence coursed through me and then he lowered his eyes to his black and red notepad and made some more notes. I had won.

“Not so cocky now are we doctor?” I muttered under my breath.

Learn more about the narcissist’s view of sex in the book Sex and the Narcissist available on Amazon.

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58 thoughts on “The Sex Hex”

  1. Love this! Explains why I have knowingly engaged with such individuals, empathetic men can’t come close to providing this level of sexual pleasure. I relate to the banker, since I also have a lot of control in my day to day life and love to sexually submit. The N’s I’ve been with have gladly let me switch things up by dominating them and they said that they enjoyed being restrained and taken. Maybe you should give it a try HG, you may be pleasantly surprised😊

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      1. Perhaps if we lived closer, you don’t scare me😈 But all jokes aside, you really should at least try relinquishing control during sex. I find it to be quite empowering.

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  2. You can always take *viagra* to get it going again . One blue pill .. or reverse the roles . You can be controlled manipulated tied up spanked etc . Yeah that would be fantastic hg . Seeing you tied up. .

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  3. Sexual Congress…I’ve never ever heard sex described in this term. After reading it from your pen now several times, it makes me belt out in laughter. It looms large in your toolbox HG. No pun intended.

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    1. Well, you have now. Pleased it amuses you. Here’s another euphemism for engaging in sex,”discussing Ugandan affairs” – affairs as in business, not extra-marital sexual congresses. There are plenty of things which loom large in my toolbox.

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      1. There is a satirical magazine in the UK called Private Eye. They used to refer a situation where somebody was having an affair and engaging in sexual congress as “discussing Ugandan affairs” as in “you wont be able to see the Spanish ambassador as she is discussing Ugandan Affairs with the Minister for the Interior.”

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  4. You said god gave you this gift as you called it .. god can take it away. Just reminding you that hg .

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      1. it can be all gone when you wake up one morning..then what are you going to do. everything gone.. i mean every thing.. your hair your looks.for starters..

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      2. No way will I be a baldy. Not a chance. My looks will just become distinguished with age. My intellect remains sharp and undimmed. So on and so forth.

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  5. I just cant imagine having such a conversation with somebody LOL….😂
    So its all about controlling emotions…
    I read the Sex book twice and perfectly understood. Its s masterpiece! Really a must have as part of the understanding,
    Have a nice busy day ☀️☀️😘

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  6. Nicely written, gotta say I was turned on by the public seduction yet having to maintain a poker face. I love when the bedroom sexcapades spills over into daily life.
    What surprised me was how DENYING sex is where you get your kicks? In the last few months of my relationship w my ex he continually seduced me to be with him then when I finally caved in he would do something incredibly f***** up so that we couldn’t. Our sex was off the charts amazing. He wound up going to jail for violation of RO and carrying a gun. Sentenced to 16m and got out in 8m which was only 2 wks ago. He’s non stop emailing me and all he talks about is how amazing our sex is. I refuse to cave although my body is going bonkers!! I’m soooo scared if I ever did he’d pull the rug out from under me again amongst other things. Your comment was very helpful in helping me keep away!

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    1. If something you want,something you know you love and desire is denied to you, how much more do you want it? How much further will you go to get it? How marvellous does it feel when you finally get it? The power to deny and then grant something you want so much show how much power we wield and the fuel provision is sensational.

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      1. But to keep it sensational, you better get your timing down. My Narc definitely got off on dangling and withdrawing and now it’s become a blurry memory if it was that good to begin with. Not worth the energy to try to fight to get it back. I imagine it’ll sink in he lost major power points with his last Hoover when I didn’t fall at his feet. He waited much tooooo long. Him and his ridiculous silent treatments. All that sensational sex he could have been having in the mean time.

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      2. Yes i had not thought about but true sex you get everywhere… Of course there are special chemestries that make sex great but at the end sex is sex…

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      3. Probably so. But I must have been pretty sensational too if he’s choosing me to triangulate with someone. I know him though. He can’t stand if someone isn’t remembering him positively. Or, that I’m not pining anymore.

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      4. You are triangulated when you are good, you are triangulated when you are bad. He may say you are the best as he denigrates someone else or he may be saying they are the best and how terrible you were. Works both ways so long as fuel is supplied.

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  7. reversing the roles hg is sounding much better and better.. that would be soo much fun spanking you hg.. lets have some fun hg.. on your king size bed..

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      1. I have always believed the connection with the Narc and the Empath serves a Divine purpose in the growth of both of their souls. You will account to your choices, perhaps if not in this lifetime, than the next.

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      2. I had an especially hard day, and that is a very nice concept and thought to think for some good to transcend out of such a Klusterf*ck!

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      3. I believe this wholeheartedly MLA. Of course, there are days when being in the thick of the haze of painful emotions that seeing Greatest Good is a stretch. But the truth has been for me that this pain was a badly needed lesson in self love and honoring inner wisdom and intuition. I was only able to let go of the Narcissist when I asked for Divine help. The essence of the Divine and the Narcissist are polar opposites. My soul’s pull toward the Narcissist was so strong, so crippling, so drugging to my senses that only God could save me…but I had to ask. And when I asked, I had to mean that I was ready to accept all the pain and devastation that would come as a result of pulling g the covers off the relationship. I will never forget being on my knees and pleading to God to get him away from me and ti show me the truth of who the Narcissist was. God delivered. And He kept his promise to protect me- the Narcissist is out of my life and I have discovered the most important thing that was missing before – my value.

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      4. I appreciated this very heartfelt response very much. I haven’t messaged back yet because there is a lot to process with this particular message which I’m sorting my own thought and feelings on. Thank you for looking out for me!!!!

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  8. Sexual congress…makes me think some Kentucky-fried congressman is going to fuck somebody on the senate floor.

    But you’re into S & M then, you like being in control of the pleasure (and pains) of another.

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    1. Laughing my ass off! I actually see a bunch of primates in orgy! That’s the term for a group of gorillas “- “Congress”. Yep, pretty much describes our state of affairs!

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  9. This HG explains everything !! About my MN about other MNs !! Everything !! I’ve known people in the past (people I’ve not had a romantic relationship with). Who seemed to me to non be sexual and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, because they certainly slept with a lot of people. But i picked up on nothing sexual from them at all. I certainly wouldn’t say that’s true of all Ns. My somatic whilst perhaps enjoying the control was also very sexually appealing and that came from within and not his external looks or escapades.

    With my MN, he lovebomb me for about six months, we had a few conversations we probably shouldn’t have done but j made it clear nothing was ever going to happen between us, ever.

    After six months we kissed, the kiss was amazing, out of this world !! he thought he’d sealed the deal and started to change soon after. We kissed again another night, it felt different. Like it didn’t mean anything to him? Nothing further could happen after that because of his illness.

    It never went any further, nothing beyond a kiss. I made it clear, no way was I going to rush into it, even though I knew we would not be able to for some time because of his illness (despite the fact I’m no way vanilla hahah I also wouldn’t sleep with someone too quickly) which he knew from our conversations. And he didn’t try either ? I thought perhaps he was a real gent, perhaps he was enbarressed of his body a number of things crossed my mind.

    Now I understand, it all makes sense because he knew I was a highly sexual person, he withheld this because he was never interested in the sex anyway.

    After I went NC and returned to the watering hole. It was clear he’s smeared my name, told everyone we’d slept together and made up a lot of stories.

    I held my head up high thinking I know the truth and so does he! that’s all you can do. Literally every guy at this watering hole has cracked on to me!! Thinking I’m ‘up for it’.

    Even if you deny it, no one would beleive me, so I’ve not said a thing to anyone.

    I recall telling my husband everything and saying, everyone thinks I’m a slag, his response. ‘Well you are a slag so don’t worry about it’. Made me laugh !! So I just let them think whatever they like !! I now find it quite funny. I’m an outrageous flirt anyway. They all probably belwice the stories and wonder why I haven’t slept with them. So let their male egos keep thinking that.

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  10. HG if that is truly your voice I detect through the posh overtone a familiar twang of an accent that isn’t far enough away geographically from me 😱😱

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  11. I just realized on this post the main message is sex = control for you. That is what the act means to you. Sprinkle in the commentary on your master calculations at sorting how to be the perfect lover with each new conquest. Well, that part would be during the golden period when you’re trying to impress and get admiration.
    We all know Narcs mix with misogynistic views towards women. I read once that if you are engaged with a misogynist, one way to tell is if during sex they avoid making eye contact or maneuver positions where you wouldn’t be facing them. Any truth to that? I realize if control is the main attraction, you would rather withhold and not be put out. But if you had to suck it up and roll between the sheets, how does sex change over time?

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      1. Even if you are in a devalue phase with your intimate partner? I would think if you had to extend the energy you would want to make it feel like a punishment for them even wanting it in the first place?

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  12. HG,

    I’m new here and find those things that I have read so far very interesting. I do have a question I would like to respectfully ask.

    In this post you are speaking with your doctor. When asked to engage in a what-if scenario you refused. Most folks don’t feel threatened by such a proposal, but you could not even embark down that path. Why is that? Does the mere consideration of possibilities equate to acknowledgement of probability?

    I’m really curious why the sudden slamming up of the wall? Such an absolute shut down comes across as defensive to me. An act of protection.

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    1. Hello Nunja, thank you for making yourself known and commenting. My evasiveness in this instance with Dr E was done to draw a response from him so I gained fuel. It was also to enable me to assert control as I felt that I was losing control as a consequence of the way that he commenced his questioning of me. In some instances the raising of the drawbridge may well be a protective gesture. In this case it was done for the purposes of seeking to exert control and garner fuel.

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