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The issue of our kind impregnating a victim is yet another tool that exists within our manipulative toolkit to enable us to achieve our aims. I daresay some of you may find it abhorrent and reprehensible that such an act as conception and the bringing forth of new life should also fall within our repertoire of machinations. Others of you will not be surprised, long-used to the notion that nothing is off limits to us. Everything is in play. As ever,the issue of impregnation and the forthcoming birth is very much something that is relevant to our kind and as ever, I provide you with the truth of how it is regarded by our kind, no matter how unpalatable it may be.

There are several ways in which the act of conception, pregnancy and the issue of children are used to further our dark agendas.

  1. The Promise

The promise to give you children at the early stage of the relationship is always done with a view to ensuring that you succumb to our seduction. See how committed we are to you? We want to have children with you. You. Nobody else. What other commitment underlines and reinforces the strength of our desire to you? The joining of two people in love and creating new life together is the epitome of commitment. How your eyes fill with joyous tears and that look of spreading delight crosses your face when you realise that this wonderful, brilliant and magnificent person wants to have children with you. Whether it is impregnating you or us bearing your child, this promise is readily wheeled out in order to clinch the deal. What you should also have regard to that expressing a desire to make you pregnant/become pregnant by you is actually all about reinforcing our dominance over you. From the male narcissistic perspective, the act of having you take our seed deep inside of you, subjugated to our desire to create new life underlines our power. You are not only allowing us to enter your most private of places but you are allowing us to deposit our very essence there as well. To us this is the ultimate act of conquest. We have vanquished all resistance and there, deep in your sacred and intimate place we have placed ourselves. From the female perspective, the act of becoming pregnant by you underlines how we have subsumed you into us. We have engulfed you and drawn that which defines you into our very deepest of places. We have similarly conquered you.

Not only is this promise made early in the seduction, it will be made irrespective of existing children we may have and that you may have. In our minds they are all just tests demonstrating our fertility for this most supreme of acts, the union of you and I. If we are considerably younger than you and you are female, aware of the ticking of the biological clock this promise of wanting to impregnate you will be used as a golden carrot to dangle in front of you. You are on the cusp of being barren, sterile years may well beckon and here we are, youthful, virile, fertile ready to not only give you our perfect love but to offer that perfect love by way of impregnating you. It is a powerful and irresistible promise which many find exhilarating and captivating. Add to this mix any existing issues in terms of trying to conceive or give birth and this vulnerability will be exploited even further. We want to give you what you want, only because it will give us what we want.

This promise will be launched at you from early on and will initially seem like a loving and romantic comment to make, but it is one that is borne out of the need to dominate and conquer and is a promise that will be made good for the second reason.


  1. Binding

There is no better way to bind you to us than the issue of children. The creation of children means that you are far less likely (and indeed in many cases unable) to escape us. You want the perfect image of a family and with someone who has arrived with such a glorious love for you, who better than us to have children with? We know that because as an empathic person you will dedicate yourself to their upbringing and therefore allow us reduce our own involvement save when it suits us. As you know, when you need support we are invariably found to be lacking. We choose having children as a means of tying you tight to us, ensuring you will provide plenty of fuel for us and have a huge obstacle in your way when it comes to trying to escape us. We have no desire to have children with you because of anything to do with you. We are using you as an incubator. We are like the insect which arrives and lays its eggs in another host causing them to do all the hard work. Once those eggs hatch you will be consumed, cast aside, just as that insect would with the empty husk of the carrier whose role has been completed. You are an appliance that supplies fuel. You are an appliance which is there to carry our offspring leaving us free to cultivate other fuel sources. You will receive little or no help from us, or be doted on, dependent on whether the pregnancy remains in the golden period. Whichever it is we expect you to bring forth our issue without complication or problem because these children are required for the third and fourth reasons.


  1. Pawns

What better device to use as a means of triangulation than one’s own children? These pawns are used in the ongoing competition with you.

“I love you more than mummy, you know that don’t you?”

“I’m your favourite aren’t I?”

“Let’s not tell daddy about this.”

“Mummy doesn’t really love you, but I do.”

Such utterances are issued in order to ensure that the children understand who is their master and commander. They will be used to provide us with fuel as they find themselves to our manipulations also but more than anything else they are a necessary and brilliant device that is used to triangulate with you.

“I will let you but daddy won’t.”

“Isn’t Mummy grumpy today?”

“Here, take this money but don’t tell your mother.”

“Aren’t you happy you look just like me?”

Your parenting of these children will be questioned. What you once did so well, will become the subject of scrutiny and criticism. Any perceived failure on the part of the advancement of these children – in education, popularity, sport and social competence – will be laid at your door. You have failed them. This heartless and savage criticism, attacking your competency as a parent is a fantastic method of causing you to spill fuel. All the while to the outside world we will appear the doting dad, the marvellous mother, the perfect parent. Little does the façade reveal of the tyrannical reign that emerges behind that closed door. The tears and sobbing never cross the threshold.


  1. Legacy

We wish to live forever. Someone as brilliant as ourselves deserves this and children provide the ideal conduit for securing that legacy. Our magnificence lives on through the accomplishments and achievements of children.

“He gets his brains from me.”

“Yes I was a champion sprinter as well.”

“He has inherited my artistic side.”

“I always knew he would follow me into the profession.”

“It is in the good genes I gave her; I always knew she would be a brilliant swimmer.”

The child never achieves anything. We caused those achievements. The credit will always be hoovered up by us. Sucking the admiration and fuel from onlookers as we grasp the glory and seize it for ourselves. We never give credit to anybody else and we make no adjustment to this selfishness with our children. They are just a further extension of ourselves. We attached you to us as an extension but we actually created these extensions, that is how powerful we consider ourselves to be.

We believe that children are the future. Our future.



  1. Thanks K, I also forgot to add “even if you didn’t confront him about it, the fact he knew you would be hurt = thought fuel.” And also that the other woman might have been the IPPS so he allowed her to keep the pregnancy.
    I find it much easier to comment on other people’s situation.
    In the back of my mind I still question things like “why was my mum nice to me at this point or that point?” And I have to remind myself that narcs can be nice when they feel like it

    1. You are welcome Witch
      Very good! Thought fuel, many people don’t know about that. It’s all about an individual’s placement in the fuel matrix and whether they are painted black or white.

      Correct, the narcissist’s mindset is different.
      Mom was nice; you were painted white (benign parental hoover). Mom was not nice; you were painted black (malign parental hoover).

      Keep up the good work!

  2. Witch
    Excellent answer. The age of the comment doesn’t matter; practicing what you learned matters most and I am very impressed with your answer.

      1. HG
        It’s the best place to do it and it’s safe because you don’t have to interact with Narcissists in real life.

  3. Why would a narc turn the children of a relationship against the mother? What would be the purpose of a narc in introducing said children to the newest woman in his life? How should I respond?

  4. How would a narc react if he impregnated a woman, in an attempt to bind her as you stated, but then the child was put on him to raise?

    1. It depends on the school of narcissist.

      1. Lesser would desert the child.
      2. Mid-Range would do it for a period of time but decry being left to do it and seek to cause others to assist with the burden.
      3. Highly unlikely a Greater would be in such a position, but if so, would hire a nanny to assist.

  5. This is exactly why in a couple months when I give birth – his name will not even make it on the birth certificate. He will not get a glimpse of the innocence that he would surely corrupt. As for me, I have blocked every strand of communication he can possibly use to hoover. The abuse sky rocketed when I became pregnant. I see that as a blessing, finally rid of him.

  6. If you had chosen abortion and gone NC, why ex narc gives you silent/ghost calls using no id caller/ private numbers late at night? It seems like hoovering attempt?

  7. Hg I once heard that fleas will instinctively only live in one ear of a host not both so that the host has a way to still hear and be safe. Reminds me of how narcs always seem to know just how far to take it.

  8. So HG is it a certain type of empath or a certain profile of woman that gets impregnated since I was instructed to have an abortion but another one was allowed to keep the baby round about the same time

    1. Damn I wish HG would have elaborated more on your question.Really good question..All he could say is “No”..Damn Narc🤣

    2. @KT
      HG has said that narcs do what is necessary to maintain control. So requesting that you have an abortion was what he felt was necessary to maintain control over you and not requesting that of the other woman have an abortion, was him doing what he felt was necessary to maintain control over her.
      Also by treating you both differently would have provoked you, thus providing fuel and it is also a form of triangulation as he knows that you will be comparing yourself to her and might confront him about this, thus providing fuel.

  9. Do some narcs intentionally get their partners pregnant as a way of isolating the partner? A bunch of my friends who have kids said that at the beginning they lost most of their friends because they didn’t have time for a social life any more and all they had time for was the kid and the spouse (and in some cases they barely seem to have time for the spouse).

    1. Yes. Isolation is a key aim. You are removed from influences which might keep you away from us or dilute or influence and your reliance on us is heightened so you cling on for longer.

      1. Is this a similar aim in cases where the impregnating happens in the teen/young adult years? It seems to be the norm that more family would be around to assist the younger mother.

        1. It remains about securing control: You are correct to point out that with regard to a young mother family may be around, but they also may not and/or the narcissist will isolate the young mother from family during the seduction.

  10. Mine frames the discard silence (he moved away but there was no closure) as – i failed to get pregnant: “What a disappointment that you failed to get pregnant”. It devolved from “you’d make a good mother” and “let’s get you pregnant” to me being a (dumb) recepticle for his “seed”. Now i get intermittent, minimalist messages that call me “birth chamber” and “you can never pretend to know the true suffering of being an efficient birth chamber”.

    So i really got that one, no ambiguity there.

  11. The moment you become their baby momma or dadda, the intensity of devaluation and discard happens, with brief moments of golden period. They keep you close to learn how to emotionally react and care for their own off spring. Your child looks just like the narc monster, except it is perfect, it smiles authentically, the baby is full of life and possibilities, it doesn’t have a black hole of depression weaved through its energy. Suddenly you are taKen with anxiety, that everything beautiful about your child, and anything wonderful that is in front of you , can disappear at any moment when the narc feels like playing the take away game

  12. Hi HG,

    Thank you for your response.

    I would like a private consultation but I do not have PayPal. I am in the UK. Please advice asap.

  13. Hi HG.

    Thank you for your post. I am seeking advice as I have a long and complicated break up with my narc ex. Here are the main points:

    1. I have an 8 week old with him.

    2. He found out that I cheated on him before i got pregnant and upon finding out was physically abusive. He also stole from me and put a brick through my car window (which he flat out denied.)

    3. He has not declared the relationship to be over but has said he does not want to see me again.

    4. He has a smear campaign going and has the support of his mother especially… I am the useless, lazy and troublesome whore.

    At the moment i have a restraining order against him for a period of 6 months. Even though he has demanded a DNA test because​ he is ‘unsure’ (a lie) i know he will try to fight me in regards to the child.

    I know your not him but do you think you could predict his next steps?? He is currently trying to appeal against the restraining order.

    1. Hello Samantha, yes I can but to do so effectively for you this should be done through the auspices of a private consultation details of which you can find in the menu bar.

  14. Hello HG, great post.
    Could you elaborate on what his intentions are after impregnating and leaving his primary. At time of conception he denied that he had deposited any seed and assured me not to worry. After the news of a pregnancy he pressured to abort and left when he was not obliged. Pregnancy was not desirable or intentional by either of us yet he clearly mislead me to believe I didn’t need a morning after pill. I am not putting the blame on him, I should have protected myself. I am just perplexed, why get me pregnant just to leave me? He has never denied the child is his but he apparently can not be around me any longer. That’s fine. He uses every opportunity to inform me in detail of his new relationship and of the old he has resumed. He claims he can’t be around me yet chooses to “drop by” to make child support payments.
    I need clarificarion.

  15. Hi HG! Thanks for this post.

    I shared this twice over the past few weeks with my former narc’s new victim, who has gotten pregnant by him (she friend requested me on Facebook on January 3rd).

    She sent me a message today:

    “Chris has changed so much in the last couple of weeks. We keeping the baby and we moving in together.. He has made it very clear to everyone he has a girl and we having a baby.. He not doing all the stuff he was doing he came clean about everything.. So things are good He don’t want me talking to you anymore.. I’m sorry.” She then blocked me from messaging her, but didn’t block me from Facebook (presumably so that I can be kept up to date with their (un)happy home life).

    She will be his 5th baby momma (this will be his 7th child) and he will be her 3rd baby daddy (this will be her 6th child). She’s a waitress in a diner who can’t afford antibiotics for the cellulitis in her leg, so she waited until it had to be drained and went to the ER to have that done instead. He works as an (unlicensed) barber and oftentimes is unable to scrape up the $500/month chair rental. They smoke cigarettes, drink cheap liquor and get high on coke together, while she’s pregnant.

    He’s so typical. I remember she told me, “he goes missing every holiday” (Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years).

    What a train wreck!

    Glad it’s not me…he tried to get me pregnant too (he may have succeeded, because my period was 16 days late once when I was with him and when I finally got it, there was an abnormal amount of blood and clots, so it may have ended up as a spontaneous abortion). THANK GOD!!

      1. Omg, anna…over and over and over again. Every time, she says, “this is it, I’m done. For real this time. I’m not going back”, she goes back. Their baby is about a month old now and she went back for 2 nights last week and the 2nd night he never came home, was with another woman. She hasn’t heard from him since except to say the baby isn’t his. She lost everything due to that man. Her job, her home, her family, her car got repossessed, he got her hooked on drugs while pregnant, she attempted suicide while pregnant, the list goes on and on. She’s sleeping on the sofa of her ex husband’s house, who’s raising their 4 kids and he accepted sniffer man’s baby into his home. The situation is ridiculous.

  16. Oh HG Thank you so much for this, I knew it, I could see it in his eyes that he was trying to get me pregnant even though we had discussed that I didn’t want any more kids since I have two and he has three… I always knew there was something wrong but you just put it in words for me. I’m glad he’s out of my life for good. 😡

  17. This is crazy now I understand why we’re both crazy I was raised by Ive if your kind so was he

    1. I think what HG meant by insurance is that when he had the vasectomy, the hospital or doctor performing the procedure may have offered a written guaranteed that the vasectomy was 100% successful and no sperm will potentially impregnate anybody. In the event that a woman gets pregnant by HG, the doctor would be liable and may have to pay for the birth and rising of the child and his/her education to a certain age via compensation. Or HG took independent vasectomy insurance for accidentally impregnating a woman. Not sure if such insurance exists but I would imgine if it did the intent behind it would be preserving his right for a future claim for damages for a failed medical procedure.

  18. This is a straight up post. Sometimes the truth may hurt but it needs to be said. I didn’t allow him to conquer me in that way, not even with protection. If he got it that way elsewhere, I guess good for him. Out of curiosity, what was the insurance to the snip? Maybe I dont want to know.

      1. Wait…what?? There was an angle to the “insurance” remark? I literally thought you were cracking a joke that you got your insurance to pay for it what with things in the US a kluster with ObamaCare. Lol

  19. Thor will do just fine for fuel that is on both sides I take it and it seems he can provide as much . If it’s the same Thor we are talking about. Afterall, he would only be an appliance as a Narcissist would say in the arena.

  20. Well now you mention it HG . Narc desperately wanted children of his own , but hated other kids inc his own nieces & nephews which always confused me .
    Happy to say that I made sure that I never ever fell pregnant to him even to the point of taking the morning after pill not that he was aware of it . Oh nooo never, ever, was I going to tie myself to an abuser & at the same time bring innocent children into his twisted world.
    So I denied him it .
    He’s moved on to his new target now a much older victim too old to have children for him so it’s not looking promising :)

    On a lighter note , just wondering what your thoughts are on the speedy relationship between Tom Hiddleston & Taylor Swift ? Narcissism at work here ? or am I just over thinking .
    Thank you as always .
    So Sad .

    1. Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift? Well of course we do not truly know the full extent of the relationship between these two people, it may have been going on longer than admitted. Is it narcissism at work? There is a decent possibility since our kind are over-represented amongst entertainers but one would need more information about the two to make any kind of informed judgement. You have evidently given it some thought, but who do you think is love-bombing who?

      1. Thank you for replying HG .

        If there is narcissism at work I think it’s Swift doing the love bombing . For example she’s gone straight from her relationship with Harris into this one (no gap) in between , looking at the press photo’s they both appear to be very smitten with each other ..

        She’s flying him backwards & forwards across the globe in her private jet , last seen in Rome” the city of lovers ” .
        He’s introduced her to his mum .. so soon .. ?
        I may be completely wrong but if I understand your blog as much as I hope I do , that’s who my money would be on .

          1. Ah yes Calvin Harris. Dumped by text, a signature move. Now, what about Phil Collins who was at the forefront of the tatty bye by technology move?

          2. Yes well so typical of a nac :) I’m just reading & he says .. She’s found a ” found a shiny new object” to play with ”
            Perhaps I’m right after all . Whohooh .

      2. So Sad – I was going to bring up Calvin Harris as well. In fact he recently said that after dating her, he wants a normal girl! LOL!!!

        She hasn’t exactly been treated all that well by a lot of the men she`s dated and it`s made me wonder if she has perhaps developed some narcissistic traits in order to deal with past hurts, etc?

        I don`t know all that much about Tom Hiddleston, but I`ve always said Taylor Swift isn`t as sweet as she seems. I think it`s her – all her.

    2. So Taylor Swift is dating Loki. Maybe he`ll give her a run for her money…..

      I`ve read a lot of articles that suggest Taylor Swift is a hyper-narcissist, but then again, who isn`t in the celebrity world (Kardashians,anyone?)

      She`s never alone for long, jumping from one relationship to the next, and really, how can you fault her? She is worshipped and adored the world over; she received accolades for everything she does in spades; she`s young and beautiful and has an infinite supply of wealth.

      Just as you can point to different things HG has shared with us here and say, “Oh, I am beginning to understand why he is the way he is” it is possible to do the same thing with Taylor Swift and others in her position.

      Maybe she would be a totally different person if she’d never become famous. But since turning back the hands of time is impossible, I suppose we’ll never know.

        1. So is Thor. Look at me and my hammer, watch me take down the ice giants on my own, hi earth girl want a piece of me? Please daddy say I am the best.

  21. About the insect laying it’s eggs in the host
    This is the best metaphor, narcissists are a very authentic part of this predatory Nature/reality. Great job, thank u

  22. Beautifully written and deeply disturbing at the same time. Do you have children, HG? If so, what is your reason for having them? Can a narcissist love their children for themselves ever, not for what they give the narcissist?

    1. No I do not.
      Thank you for the compliment or was it a back-handed provocation?
      With regard to your final question, from what I have witnessed, the answer is no.

  23. HG, I know you have said you do not want children. (I also do not doubt that you happily use #1 when it serves your purpose.) Remind us why again? Have you ever “tried” with one of your sources, and even gone so far to see a doctor to find out why it wasn’t working? The doctor would be one of your lieutenants, naturally, and would know better than to tell the poor girl that you can’t get pregnant if your man had a vasectomy! She would therefore believe it was her fault and oh boy the fun you must have with that.

    1. I have taken a decision not to have children and it is one that I stand by so far. Oh yes, #1 has been used. Keep your eyes peeled for an article about that down the line.

      1. I can’t decide which is a more cruel exercise in mind f*ckery. Silent treatments or leading someone to believe you want to create a life with them out if the “love” you feel for them.

          1. I will make it my life mission to hunt you down and harpoon you with a VERY sharp stick. ;-)

  24. I do understand why you have chosen to not procreate from previous Q & A’s in other areas. I’m curious though if you have had any close calls with a pregnancy scare? Maybe a GF or even your wife, desperately wanting your child and maybe claiming to be on birth control but not really? Have you run into that? It could work both ways in that they would know that would bind you to them but also retain or bring back the golden period.

      1. Hi Hg! I thought of this and always wanted to ask you. I completely understand why you chose to never have kids and made the decision to have the procedure done when you were much younger.
        At this point in your life now, with all the awareness you’ve gained about yourself through therapy and your life experiences, would it ever appeal to you (had you not had the surgery) to be a donor? You would not ever be an active parent. I was just curious if it would appeal to you though that there could be a little human made with half of you that could have a shot at the childhood you never got to have and that your blood line would continue (appealing to your superiority)?

          1. Um, well science says it is not an option, if you are “shooting blanks” so to speak. lol But if it could be an option, would that appeal to you now at all? If the conditions are you know there will be a part of you living on and hopefully in a well loved, well-adjusted environment that you did not have, but you do not have to be involved in the care of the child? Would you be curious to see what traits physically and otherwise carryover in your own offspring?

          2. Well then is it an option for you to reverse your procedure to find out? Hmmmm? lol Find out if Little HG Junior would have those dashing blue eyes, athletic ability and gift of ever so articulate and effective communication? Plus always sneak into the kitchen in the middle of the night and steal all the freshly baked cookies?

          3. Ha ha your recollection always please me Clarece. One has that curiosity, yes. Whether it overrides the “braking” factors remains to be seen.

          4. I’m glad I snuck in a “what if” moment for you before the logical “braking” took hold!

      2. Great question Clarice!

        Vasectomy Reversal or Sperm Retrieval with In Vitro Fertilization could produce offspring.

        1. Yes, that could happen Kimi! But I don’t think HG is that ambitious in making anyone in particular the mother of his child. Lol

          1. I agree Clarece, however it could be a win-win situation for HG and an appropriate woman looking for superior DNA in order to independently experience pregnancy and raise her own child!

          2. Agreed Kimi! Which is along the lines of my thinking that prompted the question. The superior DNA is appealing (minus the malice)!

      3. H G Tudor may have had his sperm frozen via cryopreservation in a cryobank before the vasectomy. Hence, reversal of the procedure is unnecessary to produce a child and preserve his lineage. Perhaps that is the ‘option’ he wished to subtly reference without doing so. His consent to use his semen, a willing woman and the process of IVF is all that is needed. Although I have heard that vasectomies can be reversed and that maybe another ‘option’ if the traditional impregnating way is chosen.

    1. Clarece, are you fessing up to playing the “oops” game here? (You don’t have to answer that… Don’t for a minute think many of us haven’t at least contemplated doing it ourselves!)
      The more I learn on this blog, though, the more I would think the “oops” baby plan would backfire because a narc’s gonna do what a narc’s gonna do and ain’t no one gonna “shame” him into marrying the mother of his child. An elite especially would have no trouble painting her out to be crazy psycho who tricked him (and to be fair the tricking part would be one of the few times he wasn’t lying), and even if a court forced him to pay child support, he could easily (I say easily assuming the narc is elite and has money and connections on his side) disown both the woman and the child. HG, care to weigh in? What would you have done in such a situation- had you not been snipped? :)

      1. “She trapped me”, “You will have an abortion”, “Don’t expect me to pay for something I didn’t want”, “I doubt it is even mine since I hardly ever sleep with you because you are such a slut who has no doubt been putting it around elsewhere” , “I wouldn’t put it past you to have your brother impregnate you because you are so desperate to hang onto me”, “pursue me for maintenance and watch what happens with all those pictures I have of you” , “That could be anybody’s the amount of time you have your legs apart” , “Everybody knows you are a gold digger andyou have tricked me so don’t expect anybody to wish you well”,
        “No doubt it will take after you and be a miserable parasite too”, “Sorry, do I know you?”
        I think that gives you the appropriate picture Cody.

        1. Evil and revolting. That heartbeat created at 8 weeks is 1/2 yours.
          I guess to one of those kind of remarks, my reply would be, ” I will love this child enough for the both of us. You’ll never be missed.”

      2. No, I did not try to pull an “oops”. I argued with him frequently about not saying things in the heat of the moment that is such a sacred thing between 2 people if it is disingenuous. But in addressing it to HG, I was thinking back to one of my favorite movies, “Officer & a Gentleman” with someone pulling a “Lynette” move. Those women are out there.

    2. No child can bind a woman to a man or vs when there is not the will to stay. I saw this one after the other at home town and continue seeing it here.. Less but not because of the culture but the age range.
      N3 had a daughter with someone and he could not see this woman in any corner.

  25. About the insect laying it’s eggs in the host-

    I threw up in my mouth a little.

    I always love your choice of rich metaphors but that one made me squirm. And not in a good way.

  26. The photo, is that from Children of the Corn, looks like I could have been in that ensemble as a child, blonde, fair and blue eyed, which occasionally glowed red. The latter was an embellishment btw.

    For me, neither men wanted children, they had children from previous relationships and had a sense of been there done that following, I have a child from my non narcissist ex husband. No comment. She is beautiful, funny, clever and creative. As far as I am concerned I didn’t fair better with a non Narcsisistic father to my child. But that is another story. So there was no Impregantiion or binding that occurred with those relationships.

    The concept of pawn, I can relate to my own childhood. My Narcsisistic mother, pegged me the Golden child, I was the one who was expected to excel and succeed, all expectation was placed upon me. None upon my twin sister. This lasted till my mums death In 2012. She also used other children as a means to motivate my performance. I enjoyed school, so I did well regardless. She just needed to wield control in all areas of everyone’s life. Including my co dependent fathers. My sister, was oblivious to these inner workings. I sadly, was quite aware.

    Another magnicificent rendering HG. It makes me think more about my childhood. I know you prefer not think on yours, even though forced to through therapy. Whereas, I often reside In the past and strive to determine how and why it effects me in the present, I am a work in perpetual progress. Ever changing, ever growing.

    1. No it’s not. It is from the Midwich Cuckoos (or Village of the Damned) the film derived from the excellent novel by John Wyndham who also wrote Day of the Triffids.

      1. Yes,of course Village of the Damned. A while back a friend of a friend friended me in fb and he referred to a photo of my daughter and I as the Midwich Cuckoos. MY ex N lambasted him publicIy for that comment and for insulting my daughter and I. Chivalry isn’t dead….we all have redeeming qualities. It was a lovely photo of us. We both do have striking eyes, so I am sure that was what he was referencing. Good memories.

  27. Oh H.G., it is devastating to see this so sterilely written in black and white as No. 1 caused some of the most damage and trauma bonding with J.N. That is all for now.

  28. Precisely. Then the children grow up as adults having to relearn self development on the core and essence of who they truly are, a perfect being whether or not one is an appliance or a narcissist.

  29. Oh yes, the use of the children (the playing of favorites, playing of each against the other), the repeated statements of “I gave my life to my children on a silver platter” (it’s bullshit, but she still says it). People ask me why I don’t have children, why I never had children, & I can’t even begin to explain to them…they didn’t grow up with what I grew up with.

  30. Ex narc pulled no. 1 on me for several years. However, seems he never could move forward to actually making good on all the (fake) promises.. he used it as a dangling carrot often though, whenever he needed to. But I tgink he was still too busy cultivating many other fuel sources. A child would be a nuisance.
    These “fake promises” was the cruelest part of all his behaviors, cause it wasted precious years, for me. What I found most disturbing, was that even in the end of our relationship, he was fully convinced that he should be the father of my future potential child.

    He repeated many times, that even if I didn’t want to be with him anymore, he should be and wanted to be, the one to impregnate me… I found that so strange, but he explained it with saying he didn’t want anyone else to be the father of my child… see, it was all about him, in what I gathered was typical narc fashion… thanks for sharing this, great post. Hugs from Survived ⚘🌸 (new record: resisting 9 hoover attempts!).

      1. Thanks! It’s 10 hoovers now, over 2 weeks or so. Well he does like his texts (lazy communication ftw?), so only texts so far..

        Funny thing is, he knows he is blocked, so that I can not read them, I only see “One new blocked text”, in my list, when he texts. I will have to see if he fades away now, or escalates by letters or personal visits, (as he’s done in the past). This really starts to feel like an onslaught, this time… I wonder why.😉

          1. Yes.. since I was careless and gave him sporadic fuel on and off through spring, from my knowledge he didn’t really bother getting a new primary source, but instead kept on with multiple girls online mostly and occasional casual sex.. But, I hope now that he sees how empty this “gas station” (me) is, that he will quickly latch on to one of those many girls online! 😉 Be well HG thanks for input! You are the nicest narcissist I know! 🌷

  31. Wow, HG. Where were you when G was pulling a #1 on me?! :)
    Even and especially if the narc is older, he can easily exploit the biological clock fears of his target, who knows if she doesn’t behave (or if she God forbid does in fact have fertility issues) he can always trade up for a younger model and give HER the family he promised US.

Vent Your Spleen!

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