Obsessed

 

Image result for picture of obsession

 

I want you to be happy. I am so in love with you. You are everything that I have ever wanted, you are like a dream come true, my soul mate, my other half, you complete me. You have no idea just what you do to me. I just want to love you like nobody else ever has. Yes, I am obsessed with you. I want to merge with you and become one. I am not just obsessed with you but with everything about you and most of all your happiness. I just want to ensure that someone as brilliant as you, someone as wonderful as you, someone as marvellous as you is made to feel special. You deserve that. I know. I know something, or rather somebody has hurt you before. I know you do not want to talk about it. That is absolutely fine. You do not have to talk about it with me. You see, I can tell. I have a sixth sense if you will for knowing about these things. It is just the way I am and let me tell you that you should feel no shame for that. You should not be upset that you have been hurt because I am going to put an end to the hurt. I am always going to look after you, help you, hold you and comfort you. No matter what the world throws at us, throws at you, I will be by your side. I want to keep all the malice and bad things in this world away from someone as special and as perfect as you. I regard that as my calling. I was sent to look after you. It is true. It was not just chance that brought you and me together, not at all. I was sent to make you happy. It has been decided that what happened in the past will stay in the past and instead I have come to bring you happiness, great glorious golden happiness. I will not rest in my desire to see you happy at all times. When you are happy, I am happy. My happiness is conditional on yours, that is just the way I am. No matter what happens, I will not give up on you. I will ensure that everything is great again. I give you my word. I am totally committed to achieving your happiness. I will do anything in the world to see you smile, to see your eyes light up and to know that you feel wonderful. You are an amazing person and you, more than anyone else in the world, deserves happiness. I know how to provide it you and if that means that you think that I am obsessed with achieving it then so be it, but it is a noble aim. It is a good and laudable endeavour to ensure your happiness. I will aim each and every day, without hesitation, without reluctance and without restraint to deliver this for you. I want to do this for you, I want to do this for us. You are the most important person in the world to me. You have made me feel so special being with me and I always want that feeling to continue, now and forever. I want to give that to you in return for all the scintillating things you give to me. I am truly blessed to have coupled with you and no matter how difficult things might become, no matter how hard others may make it I will not shirk from achieving your complete and utter happiness. I was born to do this. I am utterly beholden to you and your happiness. This is my obsession. You are my obsession. I am obsessed with you.

 

A period of time passes.

 

You want me to be happy. You are so in love with me. I am everything that you have ever wanted, I am like a dream come true, your soul mate, your other half, I complete you. I have every idea just what I do to you. You just want to love me like nobody else ever has. Yes, you are obsessed with me. You want to merge with me and become one. You are not just obsessed with me but with everything about me and most of all my happiness. You just want to ensure that someone as brilliant as me, someone as wonderful as me, someone as marvellous as me, is made to feel special. I deserve that. You know. You know something, or rather somebody has hurt me before. You know I do not want to talk about it. That is absolutely fine. I will not have to talk about it with you. You can tell. You have a sixth sense if you will for knowing about these things. It is just the way you are and you tell me that I should feel no shame for that. I should not be upset that I have been hurt because you are going to put an end to the hurt. You will always look after me, help me, hold me and comfort me. No matter what the world throws at us, throws at me, you will be by my side. You want to keep all the malice and bad things in this world away from someone as special and as perfect as me. You regard that as your calling. You were sent to look after me. It is true. It was not just chance that brought you and me together, not at all. You were sent to make me happy. It has been decided that what happened in the past will stay in the past and instead you have come to bring me happiness, great glorious golden happiness. You will not rest in your desire to see me happy at all times. When I am happy, you are happy. Your happiness is conditional on mine, that is just the way you are. No matter what happens, you will not give up on me. You will ensure that everything is great again. You give me your word. You are  totally committed to achieving my happiness. You will do anything in the world to see me smile, to see my eyes light up and to know that I feel wonderful. I am an amazing person and I, more than anyone else in the world, deserves happiness. You know how to provide it me and if that means that I think that you are obsessed with achieving it then so be it, but it is a noble aim. It is a good and laudable endeavour to ensure my happiness. You will aim each and every day, without hesitation, without reluctance and without restraint to deliver this for me. You want to do this for me, you want to do this for us. I am the most important person in the world to you. I have made you feel so special being with you and you always want that feeling to continue, now and forever. You want to give that to me in return for all the scintillating things I give to me. You are truly blessed to have coupled with me and no matter how difficult things might become, no matter how hard others may make it you will not shirk from achieving my complete and utter happiness. You were born to do this. You are utterly beholden to me and my happiness. This is your obsession. I am your obsession. You are obsessed with me.

 

Think I am the only one who engages in mirroring?

 

Think again.

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16 thoughts on “Obsessed”

  1. Mine never mirrored this much. He simply wanted a mommy to kiss the booboos. Like the time he called crying because his boss told him he smelled. Tubby retorted a genital infection causing the smell, and this was considered a “disabling condition” under the law.

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      1. No, this actually happened. I don’t embellish any of it. He is that low functioning. I was THAT codependent *smacks head* (….oh, he does that too).

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  2. Mine never mirrored this much. He simply wanted a mommy to kiss the booboos. Like the time he called crying because his boss told him he smelled. Tubby retorted that a genital infection was the culprit, and this was considered a “disabling condition” under the law.

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  3. You were absolutely right on this one HG! But I do not think I was mirroring! I believe this is what I wanted but was afraid at first to trust him or his words and the more he charmed the more I believed him and trusted him until I fell in to deep to crawl back out again.

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  4. Nice HG. It is the combination of mirrors and codependency In both. I do like your argument that both sides may be codependent. Your line that struck me on that point was “my happiness is conditional upon yours” That is a classic 12-step definition of codependency. Very cool, I’m learning every day more and more how narcissists in their partners both so show codependency and a merging of emotions as one rather than separate beings. Nice. And it’s very important for all of us to understand this deeply our own role in codependency and enabling one another in our relationships and to identify these behaviors within ourselves and correct them.

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  5. A healthy relationship is a multiplication, not an addition. Therefore, 2 halves don’t make a whole. If one is only half a person, to find the “other half” will eventually lead to becoming a quarter of a person.

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  6. So I am reading more of your book Exorcism tonight and am laughing as I read your answers to the questions we have rolling around in our heads like ” does he miss me?” and so on. Seems to be a whole lot of hoovering to come for us. Eventually the hoover maneuvers have got to stop? You can’t possibly be hoovering all of them for years and years on end can you (they)?

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    1. The hoovers will happen Mary if circumstances allow. This is a combination of whether you enter a sphere of influence, the type of narcissist you are dealing with and the potential fuel on offer.

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  7. Unfortunately it isn’t mirroring…it is the grand facade that you have given us that makes us head over heels…we hold on to the love that you have poured into us so abundantly that every time you beat us down we stand up, dust off and remember that this love is worth fighting for. There is no obsession because even you forget that eventually you break us down so much that our love starts to crumble. In the end, ultimately, you are the one who failed…you failed to hold up your end and thus we walk away…or you discard us. I’ve never been discarded… But I know the pain of loving a man whose heart isn’t really there and I am willing to walk away even if mine is still in it.

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