Nobody Will Listen To You

Go on then, tell them all what has happened to you? Go on, here, take my phone and ring my parents, my family and my friends. Ring my colleagues too. Telephone the golf club in fact why don’t you take out an advertisement in a local, no, make it a nationalnewspaper and tell everybody about how badly you have been treated? Climb on the roof and shout it to the neighbourhood, tell everyone who calls at our door and bellow it to strangers as they walk past. Do it, go on, tell them about. Announce it, broadcast it, transmit it, send it out by mail, e-mail ,message and radio signal. Have it blaring from the radio, repeatedly playing on television, hell I will even let you strap a message to a flock of pigeons and you can let them deliver the news that way. Scrawl how badly you have been treated by me on a piece of paper and wrap it around a brick and hurl it through the window at the police station. Scream it long and loud until you are hoarse. Go on, tell them, tell them all.

Tell my parents about their successful son who has studied hard, achieved brilliant results and now excels at work about what I do? Why don’t you gather all my friends around here and announce to them what a bastard I am? I am sure they will be intrigued to listen to you saying that about their loyal and dependable friend who always makes time for them and has helped them out in repeated ways through his largesse and influence. Pop next door and bang on their front door, explain to them with your wild eyes and even wilder hair what has really been happening? After all, I only every show them friendship and politeness don’t I? I don’t think they have heard me shouting at you (I wait until they are away before I raise my voice) but I know they have heard you ranting and bawling. Go to the local shopping parade and mention to the pleasant lady at the bakery what I really get up to behind closed doors. I am sure she will love to hear you tell her all about the charming man who is her best customer and has arranged for her to supply the restaurant of two of my friends. Call my brother and give him chapter and verse. Oh you can’t because he won’t answer the ‘phone to you anymore will he? I know, head down to the gym and see if you can interest any of the regulars with a hysterical rant about the chap who they all say hello to and who works out quietly and regularly. Type out a memo for my colleagues and circulate it to them. I am sure they will be interested to read all about their boss who holds the keys to their future. Declare it to the group I attend football with, they will want to know all about what I do won’t they? What’s that? These are all my people. At last you have recognised the truth of the matter in between your vile outbursts and hateful comments. I know then, ring up your sister and see what she has to say, mind you, I daresay you won’t want to give her the satisfaction after the way she came on to me would you? Tell your friends all about it. Oh wait, they are now my friends and all they have ever seen is how happy I have made you, the gifts, the trips, the presents and the love. What about the vicar? He will listen to you I am sure. It is what he does after all although what he will make of such slander against a regular attendee at his sermons and generous charity donor remains to be seen.

Do it, grab a loudspeaker, create a banner, haul a message behind an aeroplane and write it in the sand on the beach. Do it in this frenzied manner with words spilling from your twisted mouth, a word salad which makes no sense. I am sure the staccato way you spit out your accusations will be well-received. Make sure they look deep into your crazy eyes when you are talking to them, I want them to see who they are really dealing with. Tell your father will you? Ha, he has put up with this for years and was glad to see you leave home, he told me himself. He knows what a drama queen you are and as for your mother well she hates confrontation and she adores me since she knows just how much I have done for you.

Go on, beat your tiny fists about that façade, see if you can punch some holes in it although I know you will not be able to. Shout and stamp and holler all you like. I will enjoy watching you do that and there will be no favourable outcome for you. You are the crazy one and you are trying to unseat the stable, rational, dependable and ultimately far more likeable me. But you keep trying, it amuses and fuels me as your bloodied hands slap against the façade with no effect and your voice becomes no more than a rasp. I will watch as the hope fades in your eyes to be replaced by fear and incomprehension. Keep trying though, keep going and reinforce what I have already indoctrinated them to believe. They believe me. They won’t believe you.

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44 thoughts on “Nobody Will Listen To You”

  1. I suspect that by now his few family members who knows about us are convinced that i am the insane one .And his friends?
    You will not believe it but even after 10 years i do not know who they are.
    We live in diffetent towns.
    We have friends in common who were my friends before .. and some others through Facebook.. but in his life over where he lives???Dunno.
    And he was and is the one who always
    comes to my town…
    Very convinient, never introduced me to ” his friends”.. or invited me over his side of the world..
    HG
    what are your thoughts about this?

  2. Tried to explain ex’s behavior to one of his colleagues and he
    looked at me like I was mad. All those times, when he left the
    house in a rage to go to work (he seemed to need to do this
    every am, which I did my best to ignore). he was playing the
    kind mentor and obsequious colleague at work. I had foolishly
    thought he had been behaving the same way with some of his
    colleagues or at the very least been grumpy. What a rude
    wakeup I had!!! He had played the gallant to everyone
    he could, taking time with people even outside his department.
    Of course he barely spoke to his family and when he did it was
    almost always toxic.

    I must say this post perfectly expresses the horrible double bind
    we find ourselves in when people ask us what’s wrong and we
    foolishly attempt to explain. Only people who have experienced
    someone of this ilk and to the same degree will understand.
    Even DV advisors don’t really get it, unless they’re survivors
    themselves.

  3. I have been going through this for several years now.
    It is painful for me to realize how credulous people can be, to believe all those lies when they are supposed to know me better than the people smearing me.

    All those useful idiots doing (directly or indirectly) the dirty work irritate me more than the narcissists who started the smear campaigns. In my experience, most people have no compassion at all. If they had SOME empathy or compassion, they would not believe the bullies’ lies and harass and isolate someone, who has never done anything badly to them.

    HG, do you and narcissists in general have any kind of respect for your lieutenants and minions who believe everything you tell them about your victims and cannot think for themselves?

  4. Im reading the fabulous “Smeared” right now. You’re the most helpful masked MN in the World.. Brilliant (but you knew that). You deserve to be adored. How will that impact you? I dread the discard.

  5. Unfortunately for the narc he isn’t in suck good control of himself so I have plenty of his raging, malicious, delusional emails as evidence that I can show people. There’s a particular one which is particularly insane.

    Seems odd to me that he committed it to email as he’s a barrister.

    He doesn’t have a good reputation anyway so I don’t have trouble convincing anyone. I think he is a very un-self aware narc, because he has been clumsy and not very clever about it.

  6. Dear G. Judging by time on Your comments… Did You sleep last night at all or coud not without me? 😉 oh forgot You’ve been busy with so many new appliances here 😉 Good morning babe x

  7. Your words ring so very true HG there is nothing one can say and not appear to have lost one’s senses. Yet silence cuts very deep when used correctly.
    People will believe what they want, So the choice is yours be what is said or be who you are.

    1. Wow….this is truly hard to read. I remember being called crazy and pathetic by his harem members. Such a very lonely and sad place to be. His ex gf wrote an email to his parents explaining who he was and he was quite pissed about it. Now I see why she did that……she was trying desperately to get someone to understand what he was doing. Thank goodness he lived out of town and didn’t get his hooks in my friends.

  8. This is so sad and so very true. Any friends and even my family that he wasn’t able to recruit were run off. Usually by his rage. Anyone new only last a few months if they don’t adore him. This is isolation at its worse because from the outside looking in you have friends and are social but in reality you are all alone because even if you try to speak up no one will listen or they will ask what you did to make him do that. It’s horrible.

  9. My narcissist is a Ceo of a hospital. Her reputation is everything to her at all costs… She brags about her integrity! Acts like a respected community leader. Is a member of the bishops charitable fund. Is she a Saint? No the Devil doesn’t come to you with a red face, and horns. The Devil comes to you with everything you’ve ever dreamed of….
    She lives in one home during the week for work, and cheating. And goes home on the weekends to pretend to be a wife. (Image) She begged me to take the photos down I posted on Facebook. ( image ) She is the sole provider of her family. (control ) I wouldn’t get her fired. But I could.. I’m not that mean. Just mean enough to have her family, and friends, know she’s a far cry from her ( image ) She still thinks she’s untouchable, however I have given the people in her life somthing to think about haven’t I ? I won’t be the favor of the month to anyone….
    You are the best author of narcissism I have ever read. You are the professor, and I am your straight A student. I can’t wait for the next lecture professor….

      1. HG you are a bright person. I saw KR website. I believe she is mentally ill. I hope she doesn’t kill someone and say you told her to

      2. I put the pictures up because my partner told me she loved me. Because I found out she is bisexual. That She’s been married to a man for 35 years. That she Has 4 grown children that I didn’t know about. Lying, and deceiving me will not tolerated. I wanted To show proof to her husband, friends, and children, what a devil in Prada she really is… Some may already know. I find it hard to believe you can manipulate everyone, all of the time ? The halo she seems to wear has been tarnished. Maybe not in her eyes, but for the many who call her mom, wife, and friend…

    1. She met me on match . Com pretended she was a lesbian. Never mentioned she was bisexual, married for 35 years, and had 4 grown children. I dated her for a year. I caught her lying to me all the time. I always brushed it off. When I couldn’t make our next date . I had to go into the hospital. I guess that wasn’t a good enough answer for her. She was used to being the rule maker. Usually I was the one to do anything, and everything, for her. She wasn’t accustomed to hearing the word no from me, And ended our relationship in an e mail. ( very classy by the way )
      Then proceeded to tell me she had Been married to her husband for 35 years. Take care. That It enraged me! She knew I would be devastated. by being discarded without another thought. A sizable amount of fuel for narcissist I would say. It was easy to find out who her husband, family, and friends were. The people I sent pictures and e mails to. It Is a small glimpse of a tarnished halo the narcissist is now wearing. Image is everything to a narcissist. I’m sure it was tarnished long before I met her. She’s probably gotten caught cheating more than once. But it made me feel good to expose her. She fractured my life. I just armed the people closest to her with proof of her flawed character. I too have been making changes to my life. I have to work on not being co dependent. Being more aware of Cinderella when she appears before me. She may be the wicked witch of the west in disguise…

    2. It seems you are full of rage. This site is about understanding yourself or others. Why be vengeful? I just lost someone close to me..don’t you know that blackness in your heart can kill. Grow up!

    3. Kathleen this site is about understanding yourself or others and how to move on. Your words are vengeful. You are scary. You are going after the persons family???? Unacceptable…move on

      1. Dear Braxton, this site is for learning about our narcissist, and processing our feelings about our narcissist. I exposed my narcissist because of her lies, cheating, and intolerable behavior. I would want to know, wouldn’t you? I have articulate my feelings with photos publicly. My narcissist family have already been hurt by her behavior long before I met her. I think it’s refreshing that the truth is finally told. Everything about the narcissist is a secret, lie, or a manipulation. That’s the point! to expose the narcissist . By exposing the narcissist, it has helped me heal to some degree. Mr. Tudor, and other individuals on this site have helped me learn about narcissism. And their pattern of behavior. Im not vengeful, but honest.. We all cope in different ways. I’m sorry my comments upset you, and that you lost someone close to you. I exposed to educate those closest to my narcissist. That their life with her is a lie. Kathleen

  10. Oh HG…I can’t tell you how this post of yours rings so true for me. More so back then than now. I learned my lesson the last time to not seek out his minions and devotees. It was so bad the first go around that I wrote a poem about it back then. But since this is your realm, I won’t post the whole poem. Just a snippet for you to see….

    “He arms himself with the weak better than
    She arms herself with the weak
    In this darkness”

  11. Why? Do you really want to behave in this manner? Do you really like it? One day you might have someone snap on you. I asked the Narc what would he think if he pushed someone to the breaking point and they took their own life. He only said “oh, that would be bad.”

      1. We know already they lash out with you, you get fuel this way. I do hope you have evolved from the savage beast to a kinder Narc. (lots of sarcasm)
        You know go postal. It seems people are more apt to do it these days. 20 years ago, I would have destroyed the Narc I know.

      2. Yes I thought you might mean postal. Some are hysterical but in terms of doing anything violent towards me, no. Naturally I am The Refined Narc.

      3. Yes, I am sure you are very refined. I am talking pushing someone too far. All refinement goes out the window. You have heard of well-educated people doing things that totally is out of character.
        But I am sure you calculate your exact behaviour to make sure you push but not so far that it is dangerous.
        My Narc said I scared him. I just have the crazed look I suppose. I promised I would never touch him and I would not. I have too much to loose. It is MY crazy he had a glimpse of.

      4. One pushes within parameters but admittedly one can never be certain where a breaking point is and then somebody is tipped over the edge.

  12. How quickly the wheels turn. Lol… Great job HG!! That is so accurate. I went from an honest, caring, non jugdemental, kind, always happy, trusting, loving, always positive and and extremely patient human being to a liar, crazy, mean, two faced, hypocrite, and a cold hearted bitch in one day. I wanted to warn others but I knew it would do no good. I remember how others told me she had an agenda but there was no way I would listen to anyone either.

  13. So we are absolutely fighting a losing battle then . Gutted! It’s so hard to convince anyone that prick is a pyscopath . He’s So charming!….not!

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