Shade

 

Image result for Female Shade Creatures

 

 

“It is quiet here isn’t it?”

“What do you want shade? Be gone.”

“Now, now that is not that very friendly is it?”

“I have nothing to say to you.”

“Perhaps, but I have much that I must say to you.”

“I will not listen.”

“Oh but you will, you have no hope other than to listen to me. Who shall I be? How about me? Do you remember me? You always said how my voice sounded like the embodiment of comfort, do you recall saying that? Do you? Do you remember how often you asked me to call you late at night and read to you until you drifted off to sleep? I did it willingly didn’t I? I read those words, those favourite passages of you until I could hear nothing until the soft sound of the breathing, regular and indicative that you had succumbed, at last to sleep? I imagine you would like me to do that now wouldn’t you? To hear my words of comfort once again. Would you wish to hear me speak again? No, my you have changed and yet you always said it was me that had changed? Perhaps I shall change. I shall be me instead; do you remember me now? Does this force remind you of me? I was better than her, you made it so clear that that was the case. Forget her and her bedtime stories, she treated you like a child didn’t she? I know what you really wanted didn’t I? I understood you didn’t I? How does it feel to hear my voice now after all this time? You’d thought this one was forgotten hadn’t you?”

“Shut up, I never forget.”

“Oh but you try to, you try so hard to forget me and all of the others.”

“No I don’t.”

“Please don’t lie, I can see through them now. I admit, I never used to be able to, but you were oh so very good at making your lies seem like reality. I had no idea. I was so in awe of you. You were everything I had ever wanted, but that is what you do isn’t it? You showed me yourself so I loved myself. It is clever, I must give you that and there is no denying you are very clever, the brightest and the best that I have ever met. Yet, what do you use this gift for? To wound, to maim and to cripple?”

“You do not trouble me shade, I know what you are.”

“Do you? That is good. For so long I thought you did not, but you are realising now aren’t you?”

“I have always known. I know everything.”

“Of course you do. You taught me everything. Yes, it is me now. How about that for a trip down memory lane. You taught me everything and yet I was the first of them all to realise wasn’t I?”

“It is you? Where have you been? Stop this, you keep shifting, it is unfair.”

“Oh I have always been here, always watching you. My you have become quite the polished article haven’t you? I always knew you were destined for greatness though. I was the first to know.”

“It is my right. You must not come here and mock me.”

“I am not mocking you. I love you. We all loved you. You know that because you gave us a perfect love.”

“Yes I did and do you see what you all did with it?”

“Now now, let us not play that game.”

“What game is that?”

“You are doing it already.”

“Cease your riddles, I am the doer, you are done to, leave me, I have much to do.”

“But I cannot leave you, you will not let me go.”

“I tell you now, leave, leave me be.”

“It does not change does it? You want me, you do not want me, yet here I am. You said that nobody is allowed to leave and you have me still. Does that not please you?”

“Not when you intend to mock me, no.”

“Yet he always mocked me.”

“Not another? Why do you plague me like this? You are no longer welcome.”

“You mocked me, you belittled me, you made me feel like nothing and all I wanted to do was to please you, why did you do this to me? Please? Tell me what I did wrong?”

“You come here now and seek those answers? You should have known. I showed you how you should be and then you failed me.”

“I did not fail you.”

“I did not fail you.”

“Nor did I.”

“Nor I.”

“Nor I.”

“Silence!”

“Such a favoured weapon of yours. How you tore me apart when you layered ice over our love.”

“Not you as well, what do you want?”

“I just want to know.”

“You come, you all come, masquerading as wanting to know the truth but I know you, I know your kind, I have you in my eye, you are here to torment me. I am no fool; I know exactly what you want.”

“We just wanted you.”

“Yes, you.”

“You.”

“I wanted you.”

“Just you. Nobody else.”

“Quieten your tongues you harpies, must you whirl about me, your soft words that are barbed and poisonous to my own ears? I command you, leave, leave me be.”

“You said you loved me the best and that you would never let me go.”

“You told me you loved me with a perfect love and that we would always be together.”

“You told me that you loved me unlike any love you had ever known and that nothing would tear us apart.”

“You told me that your love was pure and unblemished and would last for ever.”

“You told me that your love was beyond that of any other person and that I would bask in it until my dying day.”

“Do you see how you said all those of things to us? Promises, vows and declarations. We believed you and we still do, we still want you.”

“Then why come here and torture me?”

“Because you found perfection, you had the very thing that you always wanted and you let it go.”

“I did not.”

“You did.”

“No, I did not. You do not know, you think you do, but you do not know.”

“But we do know, we know better than you realise. You called us idiots, you called us fools, you called us morons and yet who is the fool now? Who had the one thing that he always wanted and let it go? Let her go?”

“Go to hell, all of you shades, go to hell.”

“Go to hell? We are already here aren’t we? With you.”

153 thoughts on “Shade

  1. Foxy Loxy says:

    That was funny.

  2. centauride12 says:

    Intruiging. Haunting. Ghosts? I look forward to more HG.

  3. Amy says:

    “The whispers of the shades from the past.” Possibly?

  4. 1jaded1 says:

    Okay Maddie.

  5. RMG says:

    Poetic Me I agree with you, the way words are used they can destroy or they can heal.
    I reread this again this morning, it’s beautiful and frienghting all wrapped up.

    1. Poetic_Me says:

      Yes, RMG, this piece is highly effecting, triggering at that. Words can lift us in an instant and destroy us in the next. Indeed. Mightier then the sword.
      I read it last night and couldn’t reply till this morning, when I read it again too. There are certain pieces HG has written that do the same to me…Let’ s pretend, You said we would Always be together, Do You Feel The Darkness, and numerous others…that seem to have a different feel to them. A more personal and affecting nature.

      1. bethany7337 says:

        Let’s Pretend resonates the most for me and is a brilliant piece. Highlights that pretending is the requisite for the relationship on both sides. The feel of that piece perfectly reflects the desperation felt by the victim as the reality of the end of the game closes in.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Thank you Bethany and well put.

        2. Poetic_Me says:

          For me as well, Bethany. The love we had, shared, felt and then becomes laid to waste and lost…as you said the desparation we feel and think they feel as well. While we struggle to let go. They have already found their next pedastal adornment. The ruin that we fail to see as we struggle to maintain the relationship facade.
          HG, you really should put your Writing talents to non Narcissistic fiction.

          1. HG Tudor says:

            Thank you. There are some works in progress in that regard.

  6. Maddie says:

    Mirror mirror on the wall . This is hilarious!

    1. 1jaded1 says:

      Wby is it funny?

      1. Maddie says:

        Well it is for me. Am I obliged to explain it to anyone? I do not think so. HG’s blog always amuse me and He knows that.

  7. Poetic_Me says:

    This Greatly effected me for several reasons, firstly is what you used by way of connection to begin the piece. It made me cry, even still as I write this. I will begin by saying this is quite a beautiful piece of writing. Which as painful as it was to read, I would read again and again. Because by embracing our pain, we can often find our salvation and subsequent healing.

    “Do you remember me? You always said how my voice sounded like the embodiment of comfort, do you recall saying that? Do you? Do you remember how often you asked me to call you late at night and read to you until you drifted off to sleep? I did it willingly didn’t I? I read those words, those favourite passages of you until I could hear nothing until the soft sound of the breathing, regular and indicative that you had succumbed, at last to sleep? I imagine you would like me to do that now wouldn’t you? To hear my words of comfort once again. Would you wish to hear me speak again? No, my you have changed and yet you always said it was me that had changed? Perhaps I shall change. I shall be me instead; do you remember me now? Does this force remind you of me? I was better than her, you made it so clear that that was the case. Forget her and her bedtime stories, she treated you like a child didn’t she?”

    MCN would read to me as I feel asleep, I read to him as well. It was comforting and made me feel loved by him and he by me. He was the only man who has ever done this for me and enjoyed me doing it for him. Even if he didn’t enjoy he nevr once showed that displeasure to me.
    I read to everyone I love and care about, including patients I work with. There is something wonderful and effecting in being read to. As a child my mother nevr read to me, but my father did every night with my twin sister and I tucked into bed. It is something that has akways stayed with me as a true measure of love and compassion. To give the beauty of words to another. By reading to them. Writing for them. Telling them what they mean to you. Words have an immeasurable healing effect when combined with actions in accordance to those words.

    I know you have always said HG. You use words as weapons. But I find words healing. As do so many others. Look at your own words, how they cause others to think, to question, to understand and to feel pain, sorrow, anger, joy, revelation often simultaneously or separately.

    I read this as an integration, the voices that become so deafening, slowly being silenced one by one. It feels like a release, a letting go. Almost like unburying of oneself, to reveal the true you, the One whom lies beneath. The shades, the spectres, the ghosts, the demons. The parts of you that take control and consume you. The memories, the past, the nightmares, the pain. The acknowledgement of that which you wish to foget, but know you must remember. The culmination of your life as it reaches its bound destination.

    1. 1jaded1 says:

      It is so raw.

      1. Poetic_Me says:

        Learning ones truth and then telling it is perilous journey.

    2. bethany7337 says:

      AS introduced me to Pablo Neruda and would draw me a bubble bath and read his eloquent love poems while sat next to me soaking in the tub. This became a ritual following our lovemaking for months. Truly I felt as though I had died and gone to heaven.

      1. Poetic_Me says:

        Yes, Bethany, that to think on how that could be fabricated and false and unreal. The realization that breaks that illusion. For such things as you described truly sounds a man who loved and adored you. Makes me wonder will only Narcissisits do these loving gestures for us? Will a normal healthy man not do the same? That is a sad thought, that only devoted attention and affection can be faked. And so expertly faked at that.
        It does sound like a heaven, Bethany…where Hell is made to appear Saintly and pristine to trick us into belief. I believed fully and foolishly.

    3. Indy says:

      Hi PM, Yes, an integration! I’m hoping! It is indeed a haunting and dark process to integrate those pieces. And worth it! I’m waiting for the movie too😀 I’ve been watching Stranger Things on Netflx. I’m not a big TV person, but I’m addicted! I used to work part time in the building that now is used as part of the set as a creepy laboratory. It used to be an old asylum and was never updated structurally. It was scary then too…..lots of Shadows. As I have said previously, I love a good scare and a thriller. I bet HG could write some of the best! I’m very visual and his writing evokes incredible images.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Dark Cupid will be right up your street then Indy. If you can handle it of course.

        1. Indy says:

          Just make sure to trip the midrange narc who is sat in his midrange car in dark glasses on your way over 😉

          1. HG Tudor says:

            that sounds like the start of a nursery rhyme or a fairy tale,
            once upon a time there was a mid-range narc, who sat in his mid range car, with a mid-range sandwich and a mid-range pair of shoes on. everything he did was mid-range, from the side parting in his hair to the sock suspenders that he wore.

      2. Poetic_Me says:

        Stranger things is a great series, Indy. Yes, he needs to put his writing skills to mainstream use…where the mass populace can read him, under his own name, not a pseudonym. He already has a massive audience through this venue of his writings.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          most kind. what do you mean a pseudonym

          1. Poetic_Me says:

            Pseudonym definition, a fictitious name used by an author to conceal his or her identity; pen name

          2. HG Tudor says:

            I know that. it is my real name

          3. Poetic_Me says:

            I dont wish to alarm you, but then more people might know what you are then you think…..we won’t tell anyone, mums the word…well, maybe not mum….

          4. HG Tudor says:

            I am entirely confident they will not. That is my real name but it has not been used in a long time for reasons which will become apparent in later works. I am known by different names (my legal names) by those who know me in the flesh.

          5. Indy says:

            Aliases? PM, why are we not surprised? He is elite 😉 he’s probably British equiv of CIA. Where’s Persephone, DEA, FBI super woman?

            Orrrrrrrrr….hessssssss the dreaded Catholic with 20 names…..makes the sign of the cross. You know us Catholics have an inside ear to Satan, right HG?

          6. HG Tudor says:

            Ha ha. Persephone is getting musical at present.

            No I am not a Catholic.

          7. Indy says:

            Musical? Is she in the music biz now? Cool beans! And, you know she is working because……you ARE CIA (Brit version).

            Multiple names….hmmmm…spy (nah), star (no doubt), royalty (definitely), MPD (nah), Antihero (yep)……

            Oh wait, he’s BATMAN!!!

            Cue old school batman theme. Nah nah nah nah nah Batman!

          8. HG Tudor says:

            Cool beans, ha ha my brother says that.

          9. Indy says:

            Ah, did your brother spend time in Boston? That’s where I got that phrase, hanging in bean town during college.

          10. HG Tudor says:

            No he didn’t, not idea where he picked that up from. I kicked it out of him anyway (joke).

          11. Indy says:

            Wickedly cool. (Boston) ok ok, I’m renting the movie, first only.

          12. Foxy Loxy says:

            Indy….
            I’m back and I am not happy. I have uncovered several. I am a nice person unlike some…and as such would not reveal one thing. I have had to be a keeper of secrets for alot of different reasons. I will honor those secrets that I hold. I will say he is telling you true about me and the music industry. I only have a few gigs left this year. Just seen Adele. She sounds better in person. I may have to change my top 3 best live singers. Or split the category to men and women. 1. Luciano Pavarotti 2.Freddie Mercury 3. Whitney Houston 4. Adele 5. Annie Lenox. This now does not pertain to this blog so I will probably be punished for that. I wish there was someplace we could all meet and talk about life. I too have just binge watched stranger things. I hated Wynonna Ryder..such a cry baby…lol Thanks for thinking of me btw. I know that for most it is out of sight, out of mind. So I appreciate that you would remember that detail about me. Big hug for you and a mwah just because.

          13. Indy says:

            Yayyyyy!!!! You’re back! Hugssssss and muah back! Why not happy? What’s up? Omg, Adele!!!! I’m envious and that is soooo awesome you can work with such amazing talent! I agree with your picks, incredible voices. I’d love to see Annie Lennox a gain, she’s a top of mine. Yes, I too would love to have a social chat just shooting the breeze, life, etc. maybe we all can find a space to do that…..I’m down. Hahaha, Winona, yes she is a bit of a crier, until she takes the wall out of the house and kicks her ex out😄 I still have to see the last two episodes.
            Welcome back, Foxy Loxy!

            Xxx

          14. Poetic_Me says:

            You are indeed a complex being that adds to the mystery that is YOU. So many incarnations of time. Do you believe in reincarnation? Living a life over and over until the soul ascends ?

          15. HG Tudor says:

            No, because I am Connor Macleod.

          16. Poetic_Me says:

            That is one of my favorite films, I cried when Heather came for the hills with the lamb and she was old and he was still young…that was such a beautiful scene they ruined that film with the modern take injected into it…Highlander…love it. The song Who wants to live for ever by Queen still makes me cry.

          17. HG Tudor says:

            I got engaged at the castle at Eilean Donan which features in the film.

          18. Poetic_Me says:

            Lovely, that is a beautiful image in my mind.. I got engaged at Rosyln Abbey,him on one knee inside the Abbey with ring in hand and married at Gretna Green. Fairytale turned nightmare.

          19. HG Tudor says:

            GG – were you 16

          20. Poetic_Me says:

            Yes, it was my first marriage early 1900s… I wanted the wedding there, had two bagpipers pipe me in..the minister said I looked like a Queen when I walked in..he kissed me three times first when I met him, once before ceremony and then after the marriage….hubby was not happy, I said I don’t know why he kissed me, perhaps he Was nto the wine, he claimed it is a tradition that the minister defrock the bride behind the stables…ha ha.

          21. Indy says:

            Now, THATs how an elite gets engaged! Nice, HG!

          22. HG Tudor says:

            oh it gets better than that Indy, but you will read all about it in due course.

          23. Indy says:

            Can you promise me that I will stop believing in love? Lol….that’s my only wish. Damn romantic crap, I fall for it hard. BUT, I’m getting better! Where’s my damn castle? Back to writing about kittens in stockings….

          24. Poetic_Me says:

            We both had such romantic engagements…MN was over the top in false displays of love…how long did your marriage last? Mine not even a year before he was arrested for assault and deported. Why I order to focus in MCN. Who was never violent, just verbal. Both claimed they were my soul mates….evidently , not. I am thinking I simply do not have one, not a real one.

          25. Indy says:

            Wow, beautifully romantic. Well, shoot. American men need to catch up! I did have a romantic wedding though. It was at a small white church built by Henry Ford next to a working grist mill and had celebrations at Longfellow’s Wayside Inn, oldest working Inn in the country. But, I was proposed to IN BED! Hahahhaha

          26. Poetic_Me says:

            No, Indy, Mn and HG are both Narcissists….they know how to make it beautiful and what we want….they study us and our desires and wishes and make it come true. Until they chose to then destroy us and take I t all away, thank God Mn did not reign victor over me. Sometimes, romance is highly overated and the simpler , undeserved gestures are much more valuable In their genuineness.

          27. Poetic_Me says:

            Understated, not undeserved.
            Your wedding sounds beautiful to me, idyllic actually. In bed, is romantic. MN wanted to put on show so everyone at the Abbey would see my reaction. He told me afterwards, I would have preferred he proposed to me as walked almost the Heather along the North Yorkshire moors, alone and in the beauty of nature. I don’t like to be the centre of attention, he did.

          28. Indy says:

            PM, you are right and when it is intended for show and not deeper connection, it is an illusion that is short lived. And, still, I love romance…if there ever is another man in my life, he will be inspected closely. Trust will be earned and not freely given. And, damn it, heather and lavender fields…..I live in the wrong place (laughs). I am happier than I was 2 months ago, cooking myself yummy chili, my self bought irises and whie roses on my table and my killer kitty next to me as I learn to laugh again here, heal again. ☺️💚💜❤️

          29. Poetic_Me says:

            Yes, the U.K., northern Uk and Scotland are my places of Heaven. Yes, Indy….I am happier alone, with my daughter and my father and my two kitties. I just want to feel happy again….not sad. Yes, trust dies now need to be earned, I gave it everything so freely. Why I question so much and validate and scrutinize. MCN called me an interrogator.

          30. Indy says:

            WOW, PM, what a coincidence. I’m known as the Queen of Questions. I’ve toned it down some lately to start listening to my inner gut and intuition as answers from others can be misleading. I’ve always worked in some for of questioning field and needed to reconnect to inner wisdom.

          31. Poetic_Me says:

            Yes, I need to listen more and question less, perhaps. I think it is my need to know that gets me in trouble. MCN hated I knew when he was lying. I hated knowing too sometimes. Yes, connecting to inner wisdom, heeding Intuition , trusting what we already know.
            Indy, enjoy Higlander, the scenes I. Scotland are the best part of film and you can see where Hg got engaged..I have to laugh, my predictable text wrote enraged….how knowing. Let me know if the scene wher Queen song plays touches you as well.

          32. Poetic_Me says:

            MCN was half Irish …

          33. Indy says:

            We need to develop an empathy test for future dates! We could make millions 😺 I’m sure it sort of exists out there….plus, HG could be the only one with narcicism that we will allow to look at the cheat sheet 🙊🙈🙉

          34. Poetic_Me says:

            Sounds like a plan Indy…I think HG might okay that deal. Because MCN, to,d me he was empathic, and by GOd he sure acted the part, till he argues and raged and silenced me. I couldn’t imagine ignoring someone you love or even respect…that is the key defining act for me….the silences…but MN nevr gave me a silent treatment once, even when angry.

          35. Indy says:

            I just read what you wrote PM You’re a twin! I’m sure researchers loved you both! What kind of settings do you pick up spirit vibes? Why I ask is I grew up in a town with dark history, which (don’t laugh, lol) I think can calibrate people to pick up things if they are sensitive to it….I know, I know….I consider myself a woman of science, with a big splash of spiritual mysticism. My sis and I (not twins), would have the same dreams about the same places and events. I am sensitive to vibes of places, (past horrors) though not good at understanding them. Would love to hear more about this. And, why the heck did my vibes not tell me about my darned relationships sooner…hahaha.

          36. Poetic_Me says:

            Yes, identical twin. I sense a lot in my home and in certain buildings and places..it is very strong when I am in the Uk, there is a lot in my dreams as well. I above had some bizarre unexplained occurences in my life from. Childhood to now. I have numerous friends who are mediums, spiritualists, psychics who have explained much to me. I think the best way is to describe it is I have a self imposed block/ barrier to avoid contact. One friend, sees it lessening and soon I will be open. I am actually dreading that day. He wants to discuss it with me, I tend to try to avoid discussion. I sense things about people through their energy, so I am ashamed to say. I was aware these men were false. I ignored and blocked out my thoughts and intuition to maintain my faith. But I have learned that when I know, I heed what I know from what I feel about others and their true agendas. I have an instrinsic believe in the good of others, when I know their is bad as well. As well. Based On My own childhood. Perhaps I felt I should assume their bad perpetuated upon me. There is no logic here. I do believe we all should be more aware of what we feel I relation to those around us. Be more trusting of our own feelings and thoughts. The fact is. There are those whose only intentional is to harm, no matter how good and loving we may be.

          37. Indy says:

            PM, The Highlander! Yes! It’s been a while since I saw the series. I don’t think I saw the movie.

            HG, Well, Connor trumps Batman. Tips hat.

          38. HG Tudor says:

            The series?! Heresy! Watch the movie and only the first one, the rest is dross.

          39. Poetic_Me says:

            Christopher lambert, In that film and another film I really enjoy, Greystoke, legend of Tarzan. Let’s have a movie nostalgia film fest. Yes, I will take a Scottish Immortal every time….over any superhero.

          40. Poetic_Me says:

            My next and final husband will be Scottish. My my lips to the Gods ear…that was a joke…I will not be married again.

          41. Indy says:

            Not sure if I will marry, but if someone proposes at a damn castle or abbey, that ring is ON! Hehehe…then I run for my life. Find me a good Irishman, like my greatgrand pop.

          42. Poetic_Me says:

            I above decided this Indy, I will nevr allow another man to choose me. They all have. I nevr initiate a relationship. So, when I decide to love again, I will choose hi a nd just maybe he will be the One..if there is the ONE for me. Rosyln Abbey was in the Da Vinci code…it is beautiful setting, al of it was. I was so distraught at what he did, I destroyed all wedding photos, I have one image saved with just me, him cropped out after we were married by the carriage. I dint even know why I kept it. That relationship, it’s or use, plot and ending is what movies are made of…psychological thrillers. Why I rarely talk about the MN and just MCN on here.

          43. Poetic_Me says:

            Sean Connery and Clancy Brown, Lambert is exquisite in the film. Enjoy 😊

          44. Poetic_Me says:

            I concur, only the first film Indy….it is pure. The film is superb, I nevr watched the series.

          45. Indy says:

            Perfect! Like I said, I’m old school TV/movies, so I’m picky and rarely am up to date. This came out in 80s right? I’m getting it! I love good movie leads! Helps me distract from kitten burglar. 😄

          46. Poetic_Me says:

            Did you watch the film , Keanu…with a kitten I it,,my daughter and I watched it, it was silly but we both laughed at the silliness. Made me think of kitten burglary, someone stole the kitty, kitty is the superhero.

          47. Indy says:

            Pam! Yes, Keanu!!!! That was an adorable movie! All these drug dealers and nerds after a cat!!!! Loved it!

          48. Poetic_Me says:

            Yes, some people balked at me enjoying it..,it was hilarious and adorable. The kitten wa soooo cute.

          49. Indy says:

            Hahahaha….sock suspenders! I have a nickname for him, the Kitten Burglar, the midrange cat burglar.

          50. HG Tudor says:

            The kitten burglar with sock suspenders.

          51. Indy says:

            Yesssss, I’ll do the illustrations! Excellent kids book on the school yard bully. Hehe. Even his Schwinn was midrange. He threw midrange rocks at midrange girls and on his forehead…..midrange curls.

          52. HG Tudor says:

            Ha ha, very good. I like!

          53. Indy says:

            Oh I’m so on it. It will be my therapy LOL. Plus, I work with kids, it’s an area I relate a lot to.

        2. Indy says:

          Yes! Season 2 is hopefully coming soon!!! A group of friends and I broke in (yes, we are all adult professionals haha) as it is a closed abandoned building now, and caught them filming just 2 weeks ago…it’s really decayed inside, not modern looking like the show but the outside shots of the building are current. I think they built up the inside in certain sections. We explored the underground tunnels. A great place for getting your adrenaline going!

          1. HG Tudor says:

            I do like the urban explorer sites. I used to live near an raf command bunker. it was incredible. It had tunnels going very long distances and the entire bunker was far larger than you would ever think. There are a few sites on the internet which show the photographs that people have taken. I find the ones of old hospitals and asylums fascinating.

          2. Indy says:

            Yes, I love those places. We are planning another “visit” around Halloween. There is old medical equipment in there from the 70s…the tunnels connected the client cottages to the main treatment facility.

            What is a RAF bunker? Is it airforce? That sounds exciting to explore. My father, who was military, used to sit me as a small girl on tanks. Loved it. Abandoned old places with old stories are the best. I’m also planning a trip to Millidgeville mental asylum, supper creepy and in my home state 😊 I grew up in New England and developed a fascination for old cemeteries and historic creepy places. Lots of them up there.

          3. HG Tudor says:

            yes the royal air force.it is where the defence of a particular section of the uk was orchestrated during the second world war.

          4. Indy says:

            Excellent site to visit, the RAF! Love WWII stuff, I explored Japan and Hawaii WWII stuff. Need to hit Europe soon! Never been.

          5. Poetic_Me says:

            What an awesome story Indy, I will think of you when I watch next season as well. I take you do not get easily scared…I would be fearful.

          6. Indy says:

            I do have a high fear tolerance. However, I love the feeling too!

          7. Poetic_Me says:

            Yes. Fear is adrenaline…I would be okay if I had someone I trusted to hold onto tightly.

          8. Indy says:

            Oh I wasn’t alone in the tunnels, girl! I was with 4 other women. Lol

          9. Poetic_Me says:

            Still. Indy, braver then I.

          10. Indy says:

            We entered the underground tunnels with only the ligh of our cell phones. Found an old doll house and an old wooden chair facing the wall. We also found the boiler room before we jetted out of there to not get caught by crew.

          11. HG Tudor says:

            Cool beans!

          12. Indy says:

            Getting back to the rat killing (Georgia)

          13. Poetic_Me says:

            Just cell phones lights, too dark for me. Fear of rats would bother me more then the darkness. Were those props or remanents firm the children’s wing? You all were brave and adventurous…

          14. Indy says:

            I don’t know if they were props or not. It is my belief that the old asylum only had adults in the old days. However when I work there part time, I was working on a study with children, just looking at cognitive functioning of certain populations, no experiments. What’s really funny is this show, stranger things, also studies children and also experiments on them. Creepy!!!!

          15. Poetic_Me says:

            Yes, quite creepy….as a child I had a family friend, Scottish…from Edinburgh. Work with me regarding mind control and healing. He nevr worked with my twin sister. Just myself. I wondered as a child why? He seemed fascinated that I could sue my mind to slow and stop the pendulum on the grandfather clock in my parents living room. My mum would trust me out as a parlour trick when they had parties. I always wonder if they had not have moved back to Edinburgh. What skills I might have today. My mind is so unquiet in adulthood. My clairsensient friend, feels I am close to spirit communciation. I can hear and sense and smell. I have yet to see ….which tbh frightens me. I had a super natural experience as a child that remains with me. Such things to frighten and fascinate me.

        3. 1jaded1 says:

          I hope he does. Right.

  8. E. B. says:

    This post has artistic beauty. A piece of literature!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you EB.

  9. 1jaded1 says:

    If this is the teaser, I’m waiting for the movie. It is very raw and haunting. It reads like a tortured person who is at the brink.

    Harpies is another term of endearment that makes me swoon. Please keep them coming.

    But I cannot leave you..you will not let me go. Truth. You still can.

    I don’t really know if I believe in hell.

    This is my second favorite post by you. There might be more in another comment.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you 1jaded, I am pleased you liked it.Oh you will find the movie fascinating believe me.

      1. 1jaded1 says:

        I’m sure I will. I will make popcorn. No candy though.

      2. Maddie says:

        Speaking of movies Bridget Jones baby is on my list. Fancy joining me G? 😉 😛

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Why not? Will you be buying the popcorn. I like the BJ movies.

          1. Foxy Loxy says:

            Ya, you do….lol

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Indeed I do. I have read the books and read it when it was a newspaper column in The Independent. It is brilliantly observed.

          3. Foxy Loxy says:

            BJ movies… telling Tudor….leave it to me to take it there. This comment will never see the light of day.

          4. Indy says:

            So glad you said that. My mind went there too, particularly after salty….*blush* 🙊🙈

      3. Maddie says:

        Sweet or salty ? Get the tickets make sure the seats are booked where they supposed to be 😉 I’ll get the popcorn 😉

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Salty.

      4. Maddie says:

        As You wish 👑

    2. Poetic_Me says:

      1jaded1 I agree it is a most wonderful post. I like the term harpy, as well. It all depends the meaning attached to it and by whom.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        I think this fits the bill concerning harpy.

        1. a rapacious monster described as having a woman’s head and body and a bird’s wings and claws or depicted as a bird of prey with a woman’s face.

        2.a grasping, unpleasant woman:

        1. Poetic_Me says:

          Good thing, your mum does not read this HG.

          1. HG Tudor says:

            Even if she did she would not recognise herself.

          2. Poetic_Me says:

            Not even in Matrinarc. HG?

          3. HG Tudor says:

            No, I mean she would not recognise herself as a harpy.

          4. Poetic_Me says:

            Well your mum is not very insightful in those respects, or many, for that matter, it seems.

          5. HG Tudor says:

            She knows. She just will not admit.

          6. Poetic_Me says:

            I know my faults, passive aggressiveness as defence mechanism, harpism as well, when I question and stand up for myself. Your mother is a creature, onto herself. She is the definition of the term, cruelty knows no bounds. Woman, know thyself, will never be afforded to her as she doesn’t wish to know or see. I however, always wish to know and see and understand myself and others. Much of what you describe of your mum, relates to my own mother. Sadly.

          7. Poetic_Me says:

            Not the ones we might recognize as good, 1jaded1..she uses hers for evil.

      2. 1jaded1 says:

        True…PM.

      3. 1jaded1 says:

        His mom has harpy traits.

  10. nikitalondon says:

    wow fascinating. You are and will be my favorite author always. looking forward to the other books HG !!!!
    But you out of anybody in this world have the knowledge to not worry about any of those shadows.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thankyou Nikita, that is most kind.

  11. Exhausted says:

    Enlighten me please if this isn’t your conscience, might it be the beast? It’s a great post but I have to admit I read it as more of a nightmare. Like your conscience or subconscious was speaking to you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      The purpose of writing it is to give you a glimpse and cause you to reflect on what it may portray. It is a teaser trailer for more to come so at this juncture I am not going to say but instead allow you to consider what you think it is as more information is provided.

      1. Poetic_Me says:

        Until the man behind the curtain, makes the grand reveal? Of which we all eagerly wait upon with baited breath and sighs of hopefulness.
        This writing made me feel much, the intermingling of sadness and hope.

      2. bethany7337 says:

        Teaser is an understatement!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You know you love it Bethany!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Is that Megan Fox?

    2. Steeviann says:

      Indeed it is. She took heat for being in this video. Because it portrays violence against women. I suppose if it was an unattractive person playing the role, it would have been used as an educational film.
      Sometimes I believe the world has gone mad. As a society, we hide our heads in the sand and only think bad ugly things only happen to ugly people. IMHO

      1. HG Tudor says:

        ” I suppose if it was an unattractive person playing the role, it would have been used as an educational film.”

        An apt observation.

        I agree. I am distinguished and handsome and people throw hate in my direction. Thank goodness.

        1. Steeviann says:

          I am the alluring dark hair raven beauty in the room and I have hate thrown in my direction for years now. Only by other women of course as the men love me, including their husbands.

  12. Indy says:

    Wow, beautifully haunting and I Felt I could see you walking through your mind like a cemetery of memories that have been exhumed, not to your wishing. It makes me think of the different pieces of you that you have absorbed from all the others you have engaged. The creation of the beast, piece by piece. Similar to MPD or DID but, not, because you are more unified. Wow, I’m blown away. Am I understanding this piece correctly?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Indy. At this juncture I would prefer not to say and allow you to draw your own conclusions as bit by bit I will add to the picture for you. This was something of a teaser trailer if you will.

    2. Poetic_Me says:

      Wonderful description, Indy, I felt it similarly as you. It was a multi layered piece. A cloak adorned by a King.

  13. RMG says:

    This strikes me as an empath giving in to darkness as it surrounds her.

  14. alexis2015s says:

    Is this your conscience calling ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No Alexis, something else.

  15. 1jaded1 says:

    Oh my god. More mayhe to come, maybe. This is all I can say now. Head spinning and not even intoxicated anymore.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I look forward to it.

  16. RMG says:

    It’s always the little things people overlook. Which usually turn out to be the most important things one needs to pay attention to.
    Yet thank you HG, your writing does stir so many emotions.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you too.

  17. Fool me 1 time says:

    Oh HG! This is a tormented soul and a very deep meaningful post! So much to say! But for now I will sit in the silence and think about it! Xxx

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I look forward to your observations FM.

  18. I. Can'tGoBackwards says:

    Interesting; liked Overload better, that amazing one-adjective chrono 😉

    Eventually just got Bored w/ the Narc’s DDW — Drama, Dysfunction, & Weirdness 😉

    Moved on, now amazingly good everydays…joy, fun, full of passion…nice 🙂

  19. RMG says:

    Thank you HG, the pictures you choose are amazing. I am dying to ask thou, when see the pictures and the read what you have written they fit. Like the bench half would be comfortable to sit, the other half wouldn’t be as to the back missing parts. I see this used to emphasize the message you bring. Is this your meaning behind them?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are entirely correct RMG, I do apply some thought to identifying a picture which fits with the thrust of the article. I am pleased you pick up on this.

  20. Cara says:

    We are all full of shit. I know I am. And it’s hard to let go of the shades (the shadows and/or the shady characters) in our lives, they grab at us from the INSIDE.

  21. Maddie says:

    It’s hard to let go the shades when most of our lifes they were the only one we have had with arms wrapped around us…. is this how we feel? Is this how they feel? Or is this how You feel dear G? You not alone ♡

  22. RMG says:

    The picture is beautiful and so fitting.
    HG it’s like you have tapped into my life. I should be scared and running yet sit here in amazement at how accurate you are.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you RMG. There is no need to run, I am not looking to attach to you, you are safe here. The accuracy is such as a consequence of a long period of doing this and seeing it in others. I have others og my kind around me and can readily identify the behaviours when I engage with someone. I can spot my own kind easily. The knowledge your will gain here will serve you well.

  23. bethany7337 says:

    HaHa…I so enjoyed this one!!! We are all so full of shit aren’t we?

    Bound by experience.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Glad you enjoyed it Bethany.

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