Viral Infection

 

Our kind are like a virus. We attach to those where we know we can infect them. Those who might be immune to us are not selected. The risk is too great and therefore we seek out another host that is far easier to overrun and provides the ideal environment for us to flourish. Your kind are unable to defend yourselves against our viral methodology and it is far too late before you realise that not only has the infection taken a hold and spread, but you also lack the means by which to eradicate it. Yes, you may well be able to reduce its effect and fight back to some degree but just like a virus, we are never completely wiped out and instead we remain dormant, waiting to be activated once more and the nefarious effects of our presence begin to be felt once again. There are six ways in which we infest your life.

  1. We fill up your inboxes

The joy of technology once again serves our kind well. We are able to bombard your inboxes with our words which come so easy to us. Whether it is your text inbox, messaging applications on social media or e-mail inbox, all of these soon become full of us. The inbox becomes burgeoned with our words. The beautiful seductive messages, the declarations of love and desire, the sexual temptations, the downright filthy yet tempting, the romantic and delicate, so many letters and words which have winged their way across the airwaves to nestle in your inbox. They sit there ready to be opened by you, thousands of little gifts awaiting opening as you thrill and delight as you open each one. We dominate your phone with insults, threats and demands, blitzing you with our hatred during devaluation, the incessant ping and buzz generating a sense of fear and dread in you as another malicious missive lands. You wince as you see another insult and swiftly delete it and then when the loving text finally comes, the relief you experience is overwhelming. Even when have vanished you still scroll through those wonderful and uplifting messages that you cannot bring yourself to delete. You read those beautiful words, yearning for the sender to return and issue them again, carefully crafted passionate announcements, tender statements of intent and romantic overtures. You do not want to eradicate these memories and you allow them to remain in those inboxes. They eventually may not be as full as they once were, but their presence remains.

  1. We invade your relationships

It seems such a delightful way to be when we first arrive and we want to know everybody who is involved in your life. We go out of our way to be charming and accommodating to your friends, your family, your neighbours and colleagues. You are thrilled at their plaudits as we happily accompany you to dinner with friends, how wonderful to have such a delightful person on your arm at last. Family events become far more fun with us in attendance. Everybody loves us and you love us all the more for it. We touch each and every person who has some connection to you, making them delight in us. We push away those that do not dance to our tunes, like white blood cells eradicating the enemy, we sweep through your connections and remove those who stand in our way. Everyone else becomes a recruit to our cause as we bolster our coterie and our lieutenants. You will come to regret the access you gave us to everybody that you know.

  1. We sequestrate your resources

Yours is ours. A simple mantra and one we wholeheartedly subscribe to as we avail ourselves of all your resources. We become a fixture in your home, we eat your food, consume your drinks and spend your money. Your utilities become used by us, we camp on to your Wi-Fi and revel in taking anything that belongs to you for our use. You want to go out but you cannot as we have taken the car. You are looking forward to that delicious ham for a sandwich but we have eaten it. The issue of domestic theft does not concern us as like an invading army we march across your territory slashing and burning as we voraciously consume until when we depart, like a departing plague of locusts you are left with nothing.

  1. We pollute your emotions

Your emotions belong to us. They must always be for us to consume as our fuel. They must always be directed towards us. We establish a lien over them, our option is first to take hold of those emotions. At the outset we want your love, your praise, your passion and adoration. Nobody else is allowed to have these things. They must be poured over us. We commandeer them and ensure that we are the recipient of delight, joy, happiness and admiration. We take hold of your emotional construction and then we twist, stretch and warp your emotions so that you find all of the good feelings have been turned into darker emotions. We demand those too, not only have we polluted the way that you feel, we take hold and seize the anger, the fear and the upset which now pours from you. Our manipulations and machinations are designed to turn your joyful heart black with dread and anxiety. Our polluting madness sweeps across you, unchecked and unhindered.

  1. We infect your heart and soul

Steadily, gradually and insidiously we plant ourselves deep inside your heart. We coil our toxic tendrils around your soul as we leech from it, both taking and infecting it with our presence. Through the creation of ever presence we ensure that when we call your heart thumps with excitement and your stomach becomes filed with butterflies. Seeing us walk towards you, smile plastered across our faces causes delight to soar as your soul is uplifted by our presence. Those once feelings of elation become dark and blackened but the totality of the effect remains indisputable. We are with you all the time. You see us in different places even when we are not there, you hear our voice when certain phrases are said by others. Music, oh the music, how it returns you to those tender and intimate moments in an instant, tugging on your heart and coursing through your soul. The smells, the sensations and the sounds all combine to pulsate through your heart and soul, a permanent reminder of us. These reminders bring the tears, they bring the joy, they bring hope, they bring anxiety but they always remain.

  1. We tarnish your trust

The extent of our infection is such that even when you have might have sought to banish us, relegate us to the back of your mind and try to drive us from your life, we still linger, the effects of our tortuous torment of you still very much real and alive. Your ability to trust has become tainted. You dare not trust again for fear of lightning strike twice. You find yourself hypervigilant, second-guessing, assessing and scrutinising and through this heightened state of awareness we remain inside you. Each action or word of another, whether friend of someone potentially eve more special awakens the memory of what we once said and did to you. The eradication of your trust has succumbed to the disease of our presence and thus this works to hinder and prevent your recovery.

 

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22 thoughts on “Viral Infection”

  1. Ah, yes HG we do get hit hard but we Thrivers develop antibodies in the form of self love, self compassion, honesty and determination and eventually throw off those nasty symptoms. And let’s not forget about that potent Vaccine, HG Tudor. A series of shots laden with his potent serum is clearly cutting edge medicine!

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  2. Sad but true… I have pages and pages of blocked phoney Facebook acct. from my exN, my office voicemail is full, and I dare not erase any, or he will fill it back up. Messages have been sent to family, friends and coworkers. For months, my post office box was full of junk mail; solicited by him (I still receive occasional travel offers through the mail). I’m still recovering financially. I trust no one, and I can barely listen to music anymore. It’s been 18 months since I’ve seen him, yet he continues to hoover. No contact is amazing…but exhausting.

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  3. I read this like the virus of the internet. We carry our phones everywhere we go. They help develop trust issues. create narcissus in people, and acts a way to destroy our way of communicating. I could also relate this to what anxiety to a person. Either way, I am highly pleased with what this has to say. I enjoyed reading it.

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  4. After a while of thinking all I can say : You are right as usually sweet G. The problem is I am mutated into someone who needs who You are. And being “infected” by You doesn’t and won’t make me “ill”. It will make me complete. Perhaps I’ve been abducted by some narcissistic aliens? (I’m not sure if my first comment went through so apologies for a second one)

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  5. 3. We sequestrate your resources
    Does this stem from feeling owed by the other person for being her ideal projection or…? Any insight on the logic behind the mantra is appreciated…

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  6. I Just realized last night that my high school sweetheart, the one I thought was the love of my life and best friend was in fact the first narcissist that crossed my path.. I always thought that he left me quietly because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings, but now I know everything was deliberate and after 20 years of thinking about him and knowing that almost every damn song I like is because either he liked it or he would approve of me liking it. I always thought he was the perfect love and of course blamed myself for him getting too stressed out and breaking up with me after months of coldness and indifference. I’m finally free, I could care less if he lives or dies. he controlled me but somehow being able to see it helps me detach from it. It’s a weird feeling, I’m not sad, actually I’m relieved to know that there’s nothing wrong with me. That he was just, well, a person with no soul.

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  7. I have a song I like to dedicate to my ex Ns when I’m done. Metallica “King Nothing”.

    The funny part about this is the ex Husband told me about the song during a discussion about his Dad once.

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  8. Pingback: Psychopathy Today
  9. If only we had known this all at the start … We could have protected ourselves … The trouble is we believe and trust a person who is displaying feelings has a soul and isn’t mimicking love.

    I’m finding this site so interesting HG
    ..Have you done any articles on , or any thoughts on the following ?

    How to spot a narcassist early on ?
    Ways to test if a person is narcassist .. Questions to ask ?

    Narcissists and children ( I’ve heard they don’t like children, but at the same time they love the fuel they provide and, as children themselves can be quite on a level playing field with a child) I’ve seen very worrying behaviour too , that I feel could be seen as grooming behaviour … Any thoughts ?

    Thanks

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    1. Hello NA, I am pleased you find the site so interesting.
      With regard to your questions.
      1. Re spotting a narcissist early on I suggest you read
      https://narcsite.wordpress.com/2016/07/30/exposed-part-one-5-tips-to-expose-danger/
      https://narcsite.wordpress.com/2016/08/03/exposed-part-2-5-early-warnings/
      2. Children
      https://narcsite.wordpress.com/2016/07/05/offspring/

      There will be more concerning children in forthcoming books as this is a subject which I have not explored extensively yet through the blog.

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  10. I remember this. Phones have off buttons. Viruses are tricky. People get flu vaccines (I don’t) and still get the flu. That is bc viruses mutate. They do become dormant. Dormant like the herp…yes…that is a virus too…just saying for the comparison…You are not the herp so why would you call youself a virus? No, I don’t have that.

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  11. I don’t understand and this last part you mean physically present or present I life as I’m your life as part of your life? Because there are things that remind me of him or pictures and my mood comes completely down immediately completely but not necessarily sadly every time it when is stronger in my heart just by the repulse of simply seeing a picture of him is what it causes to repulse it him or not . Sometimes I feel good sometimes i feel bad is a mix of emotions sometimes I’m happy to see him sometimes I’m not and I rejoice in his beauty every time I see his pictures I fall over in love with him again because of his height so beauty I must confess when I look at him full body I burst he’s exactly my prototype In height, look, hair , eyes, not just his color but his expression he looks deeply into my eyes he has a deep look in his eyes which enchant me without pulling me to the wrong place I melt at that color of his skin and face, mouth his lips his smile e writhing that has to do with his mouth in general , everything about him makes me fall in love with him all over again and again and again but is his personality new I hate his personality new one the most and everything he did to me but he is my perfect match, other than him being a narc a crazy narc he’s well put, his height he is six feet two inches And a half tall that’s my Perfect size for men that I like is what pulls me down to him every time and his smile, his eyes, and his muscles but most of all his baby face and tender look in his eyes and paced clean face when he smiles . Now when I’m around that completely changes he’s face goes from up to down. He even has other psychopath looks in his face I don’t know if he does that to scare me? cause he’s s cleckly, boy do I miss him and his visits I sure miss his presence , hugging him was everything to me it even helped my health that’s how good it was. You want to know how wiling I was to love this man I was willing to give my life for him that’s how much I loved him. It wasn’t Infatuous it was true love he deserves to be punished in hell .

    This is my letter of embarrassment

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