The Sinner Who’s a Winner

Winning is everything to me. I have to win. This applies to every facet of my life. You will be aware of not only my desire to win but the fact that I always come up smelling of roses. I know you find this particularly unfair as this is something that has been hurled in my direction on several occasions,

“You just walk away from the carnage you create without so much as a scratch.”

“You carry on as if nothing has happened without a care about what you have done.”

“How is it that someone as nasty as you just gets to sail through life untouched?”

“You cause so much misery yet you always land on your feet.”

I am able to fire the useless employee without worrying about how that will impact on his or her life. I do know that this will improve productivity. The weak link has been expunged and the ruthlessness by which it is executed causes those still in employment to work harder. Result? It’s a win. I renege on financial arrangements which leave your position in tatters and mine intact. I use my charm and plethora of excuses to always avoid having to pay for dinner, for an evening out or a holiday. Consequently you carry the burden of our entertainment whilst my bank balance grows. Amazingly, you are aware that I out earn you but the application of my manipulative techniques results in you happily forking out for that weekend away, again. You do it because I have been so loving and charming to you. You do it because I have been so brutal to you yet you still want to please me. Whichever stance I adopt, seduction or devaluation, I secure the desired result. The win.

My lack of conscience and legendary capacity to tell lies sees me grind you into submission during any discussion about financial settlements so that you are left exhausted and just wanting an end to it all. Accordingly, you agree to a far weaker position than that which you might be entitled to. I threaten unfounded complaints to ensure I gain an upgrade, free vouchers or a better outcome for me. I have no qualms about fabricating such a position in order to secure the result I want. It’s another win.

The skill by which I control friendships sees me lob the metaphorical hand grenade into a friendship group and I will stroll away as it detonates behind me causing carnage. I watch from the side lines as friend turns on friend, based on the whispered smear campaign I have created for my own amusement. This is another win as I marvel at my power over people. Nobody has the presence of mind to direct their anger towards me. Oh no, I am too clever to be sucked into that and I can stand and observe the bitter recriminations all stemming from my behaviour. I will always move on to a new relationship without a backwards glance, my smile radiating from every picture and posting that I can muster. I leave you in abject misery as you watch dumbfounded as I find someone new in a matter of days (or more often I already have them lined up). You are staggered as to how I can do this so easily after my proclamations of undying love towards you. How can it be right that you, the one who gave everything and always behaved so properly is left distraught, confused and bereft whilst I waltz around town without a care in the world? Why am I never upset or miserable?  It seems unjust and unfair. Why do I always seem to win? Why do I get the cream, win the main prize and have the golden ticket? It is because of how I am designed. I am designed to win. That is my sole focus. By winning I gain admiration and power which gives me fuel. You know how I need that fuel and therefore to secure it I have to win. Unlike you, I have been created with the skill sets that allow me to behave without integrity, to function without a conscience and to sail through life untouched by moral concerns. Normal people are upset and troubled by my machinations, but I am not hampered by such concerns. They do not affect me. I have been fashioned to always secure the win because without it I cannot survive. That is why I have to win and that is why I always win. There is no hope for any other outcome. By the time you and others have worked out that I have been the architect of the chaos and destruction that surrounds you I am long gone. I have left town and ridden off into the sunset in search of my next victory, having conquered you before any consequences of defeat can come looking for me,

Advertisements

13 thoughts on “The Sinner Who’s a Winner”

  1. Damn right my managing to never pay for a meal is a skill…and not just because I’m a female & will put out in exchange for my dinner (that’s not a free meal but a sort of trade), I don’t just get men to buy me dinner, I somehow get one of the girls from book club to pay for me when we all go to brunch (doesn’t matter which one).

    Like

  2. I want to win!!! Can I trick you into thinking you’re winning? How do I do that?

    Divorce negotiations start tomorrow.

    Lawyer is clued in but I’m nervous she can’t comprehend the depths he will sink to.

    Like

      1. No your not giving up. You won because you are done with him. Look at this as an unresolved opportunity. Continue to fight until your dying breath. *Hug*

        Like

      2. Anna- thanks for the hug. Needed that. I’m so full of rage this week. I have to decide now if I just cut my losses and take whatever measly amount of money he deins to give me (at the moment his offer is less than 10% of what he rightfully owes. It came along with “and I never want to hear about this again). Or! Do I go to trial, depose his gf and get them to admit they’re living together, and have been for months. But this puts some of my assets (retirement) at risk because apparently adulatory is completely irrelevant in court.

        HG-I feel so much hate for him right now. And each day I remember something in light of what I now know and get so mad at myself for being so gullible! He cheated for a year and I had no Idea!!! How could I be so dumb?? And through it all he continued to and still does play the victim. He still insists he doesn’t have a gf and he lives alone. Surely he’s not human?!

        Like

      3. You emotional response MO is not only entirely understandable but it is engineered. We want you to remain emotional for two main reasons
        1. you will not move forward; and
        2. you will provide us with fuel

        You were not dumb. You were targeted and conned. It happens to millions of people and will continue to be the case.

        Like

      4. hi HG and Hello Moving on…you are now well rehearsed in why you are having such difficulty “moving on”. Only you can decide if cutting your losses and excepting the less than 10% will be enough to at least help you to get where you need to go from here which is onward and upward. Without a second glance will be the advice of some. whatever you have gone through up until now, you can only expect to escalate.
        I lasted 24 years before I gave my last ultimatum and tried to walk away expecting my rights to still be intact in the so called real world. Not one lawyer judge, mediator, or friend or family member is well enough rehearsed in this manor or knows what to do and or how best to guide you through such a maze. Please remember this. be prepared to be the leader of your own battle You may not be like me in that there is no greater fury or stamina and survival instinct than there is in this woman scorned. But it comes with a massive price to your health and quicker evolution out and also with your immunity toward others like them as they really are everywhere you turn and this will simply put you within the spheres of their influence too and you will then be balancing many…and you are already devastated by this one. you will continue to be stuck in a different way. I will be separated 5 years this January. Sept 26th should be by rights my 29th anniversary. My gift this year ( lol at least I will get one of sorts) is the over 1,500 miles distance between us again …and after forcing him out of the woodwork literally( master cabinetmaker!) by going around his ST and getting work numbers to his new colleagues by which he then had to speak to me and break his blackmailing attempts was pissed) I get now am getting the usual silent treatment refusal to discuss anything to do with our latest agreement ( firstly because as I said in another post after summer September started all the birthdays and anniversaries in our family and what month is it ?? also its our 5th one written up including our interim that we started with since 2012 at mostly mine and the mediators expense not his) & it’s a good one, I have offered him a lot back .It’s so good that he has already signed and witnessed it and sent back his copies and is anxiously awaiting me to register it for us jointly !! I have conditions though…that a few things are done between us before I will register it. I don’t even have to cooperate with anything with the position I am in now but he needs the variatiation done in court as he is overdue by at least 6 times in 4 years now. “I” have to do everything and he cooperates when he feels like it. When he feels like giving some to get some. In his head it’s a barter…plus he claims he’s too busy and that I am in a better position to do this for us both of course. ya ya, we all know what that really means and its two fold or more. This latest agreement represents only the second one that has got this far out of a total of 5 and that would replace the one and only registered one with the courts since 2012 that he is in contempt of and has almost received jail time over and would most likely have if I stupidly had not intervened to keep him out because I needed him here to help clean up some of the other messes he had us in that would free up some of that money he was holding hostage to me through red tape of other agencies like the tax man and joint RRSP’s on purpose. That was his “get out of jail free card” he has it hidden up his sleeve at all times HG …we grew up playing monopoly here too!! ;)… willing to offer advice to you personally if needed moving on. Hg really has so much good advice here though that could and should help you to maneuver a bit more smoothly and safely if you choose to engage him in this next dance. It is an important one because this one is for your life in a way that all others were not, because this one is for you and you alone. I have had hundreds of light bulb moments in these last years, all great ones, all necessary in my growth. The wires were all still a few sparks short of a full connection though even right up till a few months ago after endless exhaustive years and years and years mind you of research. go ahead and describe the most tired worn out thing you can think of…for me…it is me lol…Please take care and proceed with caution . Hg…I will affectionately now know as “my” so called elusive “missing link”…he has allowed me to see further into these gorilla warfare techniques in a way I had not been rehearsed in before. I could read about it all I wanted to and live through it all I wanted with my to start with Air force mother and Army father then Militia husband and both of his head of communications for the Air force parents…I was only meant to be another necessary casualty and collateral damage if I could not go along to get along. being somewhat of a trophy wife to start, I have survived in ways they never intended. I always combined and represented all the strengths of all of their convictions as a whole though being a people pleaser… I knew them all too well. I am a sponge & they taught me well. I am like evil Roy Slade’s gal Flossie though who said to Roy after she had him thrown in jail …”You taught your pupil’s well…Only…stupid me… I still love him so I keep letting him out to play monopoly with me again. borderline and a super em-path I couldn’t keep my cards close to my chest or hide a card from him if I wanted to…because I didn’t want to.I used to believe that the reward of him in my life was worth everything I could say or do or give to him along with others. My survival technique from growing up how I did. so I gave it and him my all till there was almost nothing left of me to give as my soul was next in line …the spark of life which makes me that “witch” which I am…my true essence is too high a cost to pay. but I will continue to play the game…king to Queens rook 5 HG lol…X’s

        Like

  3. Integrity… When what we think and say and do are all one in the same. 😉 what most N’s think and say and do is all one in the same behavior wise toward most of us…so I guess there must be some kind of warped version of integrity going on there somewhere. I believe at times I saw real integrity though in his actions HG with the things he genuinely loved or liked doing in his line of work, hobbies and even yes with myself at times especially when we were doing any of theses things together without company so to speak. I got to see his more gentle side on many occasion having spent so much time together. I do see a form of it here in your work also. you are driven yes, but a passionate man. it is hard for some to discern passion from anger at times. X’s

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I agree that you are designed to win. I’ve even helped your kind to succeed. Yet, I’ve also been a witness to how karma has intervened and prevented the win. It was not another person, a vigilante, or a anti narc group. I am now a firm believer that if karma doesn’t want it to happen, come hell or high water, it won’t happen. But true to form, your kind just brushes it off and moves on to the next win. We are the ones sitting in the dust, crushed by the defeat.

    Like

  5. I prefer the sinner to the saint because I am one. A sinner that is.

    What I am is very very good at being very very bad. God made me this way – who am I to mess with his fine handiwork.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s