Found in Translation

 

Image result for picture of man speaking nonsense

The way that our kind speaks is a language all of its own. Narcspeak appears at first to be a normal way of speaking, with the inferences, interpretations and connotations that one would ordinarily expect when hearing phrases such as ‘I love you’ and ‘I am sorry’. You will not grasp that there is a different meaning to much of what we say to you, at least not until it is too late. Once you have mastered Narcspeak however it becomes readily apparent what is actually being conveyed to you. Understand this form of double speak from us is a useful skill to achieve. Not only will it bring clarity to what has been said to you in the past and what was really meant, it will assist in understanding how to deal with the narcissist in your life going forward, if you have occasion to interact with him or her again.

Narcspeak arises because we operate in a different reality to you. We perceive the facts differently and therefore there will be an alternative interpretation attached to what we say. We know the context of what we are saying, so that it apparently fits with the situation and the discussion, but that is purely as a consequence of our ability to mimic and to convey what should be said. We know what we actually mean when we say these things. We mean something else.

This allows us to evade any culpability at a later juncture if you try to tell us that we said something. We may deny that we said it and if we do admit it, our admission is only ever in the context of what we intend it to mean. We use these words and phrases as a cloak to what we are actually saying to you and the sooner you begin to understand what we are really telling you, the sooner you will achieve a clarity of understanding which will remove the fog of confusion and enable you to decide how best to respond.

By way of example here are a number of phrases which you will always hear with our kind and beneath is what is really being said to you.

 

I don’t think that it suits you

You look absolutely ridiculous

 

I didn’t look at anyone else the whole time I was out.

I kissed several people. I have no idea who they were.

 

You must believe me.

I am telling you a lie.

 

What are you thinking?

I am not going to tell you anything until I have worked you out first so I know what will be the right things to say to you.

 

Don’t you trust me?

I find your insecurities both irritating and wonderful. I am annoyed that you think you can exert control over me. I am pleased that you are anxious and I make you that way.

 

I promise.

I’m just going to tell you what you want to hear.

 

We will always be together.

You belong to me. I will pick you up and put you down as I see fit.

 

I cannot stop thinking about you.

You and her. Oh and her. Her as well.

 

You don’t understand me.

Everything I have told you is a lie so it is little wonder that you do not.

 

I like you.

You do what I want.

 

I need some time to myself.

I am spending the night with your best friend.

 

We are just friends.

We have slept together and we will again.

 

I am so confused.

I want someone else now.

 

 

We have nothing in common.

We never had, I just made it look that way.

 

You will always be special to me, no matter what happens.

Your fuel is well worth coming back for and that is why I have come back.

 

It was nothing serious.

Yes, we had sex.

 

I didn’t do it.

Oh yes I did.

 

I’d like to see you again.

You have more fuel to give me.

 

Let’s stay friends.

I want to establish a reason that seems credible to you for returning and hurting you.

 

I don’t really remember.

I know only too well, not that I am going to admit it to you.

 

 

I am broken.

I know saying this will sound good and I am feeling somewhat desperate at the moment to keep hold of you.

 

She meant nothing to me.

Her fuel meant everything to me. More than what yours means to me.

 

I must have been drunk.

I was drunk. I often am. I know what I did though because I wanted it to happen.

 

I am just speaking my mind.

You had better fucking listen to me.

 

I am not starting an argument here.

It’s fuel time

 

I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better.

I haven’t a clue and I don’t care.

 

I will change.

You are a fool.

 

I want to be a better person.

You are a bigger fool than I first thought.

 

You always make it all about you.

It should be all about me.

 

I’ve no idea who she is.

I have slept with at least a half a dozen times.

 

I don’t recognise that number.

I do. Why is she calling me when I told her not to?

 

I’m not with anybody.

I am but that is not standing in the way tonight.

 

It is all rather complicated.

It is bullshit.

 

I didn’t mean for that to happen.

Oh yes I did and I will do it again.

 

 

You made me do it.

I am too weak to accept responsibility.

 

You don’t have to if you don’t want to.

Goodbye.

 

I don’t know who I am sometimes.

That sounds deep. She will love that.

 

I love you.

I expect you to do what I want.

I love your fuel.

 

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68 thoughts on “Found in Translation”

  1. Oh here we are again with sweetly incognito words…

    Really HG, you are too nice. I can only read a few of these and relate, the others he just straight out said to me… but mind you, he would always say that I wouldn’t know the difference between a lie and the truth with him… he would always say that there is truth in the lies he told whether he was joking around or not.

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    1. Wait, wut…? Is HG holding out on me? Lol

      Here’s a special text apology I received a year ago following a month long silent treatment that HG helped me decipher.

      “I woke up feeling in a good mood and didn’t want you to go about your day without knowing how sorry I am about our last conversation.”

      HG’s translation: Look how magnanimous and special I am to talk to you. Surely you’ll respond given this grand gesture by me.

      Good times…

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      1. He sure is Clarece. I’m sure I can find a way to make him post my reply to you though….. if I just do the right thing….I just need to work out what it is he wants from me this time.

        Joking aside though. Yup he is.

        Love HG’s comments on your ‘N’s text. That’s really funny !! I think it really helps to see it as it is.

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  2. Mr. Tudor, wishing you a great weekend and thank you for being our Narc translator! You should create an app for it. How do I say in Narc language, ‘I want to see you on your knees when you beg?’. 😉

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      1. Okay HG…..
        I’m on a new level right now, I know again, it’s friday! And I read that line …”show me you love me” …..Uh, brought me to the next level and I gotta find that sadistic…..well u guys know.

        @Love….Thx for encouraging him. But remember he is going to start charging for everything if you keep suggesting it, right now its why buy the cow?

        Someday soon we will lose our direct connection with him. He will be rocketed to stardom and in NYC I can see the street vendors now….
        HG Ringtone, HG literal Narc Refrigerator magnet. Evil t-shirt with H. G. Tudor name on it…..keychain, snowglobe, ear buds, ear muffs, narc necklace, narc socks, panties with HG Tudor across the butt. Collage of book covers pajama pants. I ♡ H.G. Tudor everything, *sigh* I wish we could all be together forever in Narc City.

        Gotta go think about the whole on my knees show me you love me thing?…hot in here right? If only I could hear you actually say that. I’m a sucker for pain.

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      2. Anna you are hilarious! Where can I buy the ‘I ❤ HG’ panties????
        Btw, I must have misunderstood because I thought I am the one who tells the big bad narc to ‘show me you love me’. The narc would then immediately fall to his knees, because he thinks that makes his hoovering theatrics more believeable.
        I don’t see the point of the narc saying it to me. I remained on my knees for the entirety of the relationship.

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  3. Betcha thought I was gonna say yep again? Nope.

    The term silence translates to silence…how refreshing to mean what one says…or in this case, what one doesn’t say?

    That said, it is always fun to learn a new language, so thank you!

    The phrase that sticks out is I like you. Hmmm. I mean it when I say it…but…there’s that word..so very informative is the translation when your kind says it…I won’t be bamboozled by that one again.

    Another one is “you made me do it”…I’m surprised you admitted the translation to this one, but not really bc you can release yourself on your blog…good.

    Anyway. Thank you for the narcspeak dictionary.

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  4. ” I don’t know why I’m drinking so much” ” I want you right now” ” my head is just fucked up” ” your crazy I’m not with her!”
    What does that all mean? I found out My narc was with someone and I questioned him about her .. that is what he said.

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    1. This is the post I was hoping to have answered. Again I may be doing something wrong, I am really enjoying this blog….

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      1. ” I don’t know why I’m drinking so much” – wants you to try and provide an answer and is an oblique way of suggesting that you are the cause, thus provoking you to react and then he can deny that he suggested you were the cause, but you are crazy and read things into things which are not there
        ” I want you right now” – give me your fuel
        ” my head is just fucked up” and it is your fault
        ” your crazy I’m not with her!” – yes I am but I need to keep you confused

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      2. I absolutely can not believe I fell for any of his shit.🙄🤔23 years of marriage …and I knew something was wrong always..sad part is my beautiful children are suffering, he stopped talking to them all together. He has 5 brothers and they all are the same, not one of them talk to their kids or grandchildren..the mother is the Queen of Narcs…and protects them at all costs…I most certinanly knew better. You are 💯 % correct on all accounts… thank you for having this blog…

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  5. I can’t find my comment so I’ll post it again hoping you’ll find a minute to translate… when narcissist under alcohol influence yells “I want You dead!” What’s that mean ?

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      1. Thank You. That’s what I thought : you aren’t providing me with fuel in other words.
        Thank You dear.xx

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  6. On behalf of Forgotten I write the following:

    You INSATIABLE…little bundle of joy, you!!! HATE?!! Hate. OK, that’s cool. Actually, no, it’s not!!! Wanting SOMEONE dead – well, that’s not SOOO bad, but HATE?!

    UHHHHHH…..I have been under DURESS from GOD KNOWS WHO THAT I KNOW YOU HAD AUTHORITY TO DICTATE- I have been COMPLETELY MISTREATED TO A LEVEL THAT IS RIDICULOUS IN A QUEST TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM DEALING WITH and you literally come out and WRITE THAT like it’s H-A-T-R-E-D? ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I HAVE BEEN A FREAKING SAINT! No it’s BEYOND SAINT – IT’S DOORMAT IN AN ATTEMPT TO ALLIGN SOME PEACEFUL NEGOTIATIONS WITH YOU BUT NOOOOOOOOO, “We don’t do neutral – we don’t do grey.” That’s awesome. I think in the future, you should say you don’t do any color…at all…it’s more like, “Here is your usual manual – oh no wait – there is no user manual. Please read my mind for the unwritten rules of how you are to act and if you fail, well, I hate you.” I MEAN REALLY?!

    Well, if I was FORGOTTEN, you would absolutely INFURIATE me, for the following:

    1. No recognition that a malfunctioning appliance = a human being – but it’s cool – YOU don’t act like an appliance – YOU get to feel what YOU want to feel when YOU want to feel it devoid of all the emotions YOU feel are UNWORTHY of displaying. Ok, I fully UNDERSTAND that all others are “inferior” but that does not eradicate how one FEELS or how one expresses how one FEELS and can say that all commenters fully await the release of the HG Tudor BOOK “FUNCTIONING APPLIANCE” but till then, HOW could I even FIGURE OUT how to FUNCTION – not that I would anyways, but you seem to expect that people are telepathic and have the sixth sense to be able to UNDERSTAND what that even means?!

    2. I am NOT supposed to be responding to this blog or even READING it, but nooooo, you HAD to go there – yes other commenter and users who push for my escape and who pound their head with utter: “WHAT?!” You are absolutely correct – not even trying to take away from your good advice and duly noted efforts but HE KNEW this would do it – he used 1) Guilt; 2) Unemotional anger and 3) his adorable bratty ridiculous verbiage and HE KNEW!!! I still take the blame, but I am just VALIDATING MY POSITION before it starts because we all know, HG thrives on RAW EMOTION and it would almost be UNFAIR to hold this in…I think…maybe this will make the process go quicker. Settlement of debt.

    3. HG – you are being INORDINATELY ridiculous – but no, it’s cool, let me make up for how YOU feel – AFTER ALL – IT’S MERELY YOUR WORLD AND EVERY APPLIANCE JUST LIVES IN IT.

    So at this point, YOU OFFICIALLY WIN.

    So please, use these words to become your normal CHIPPER self and find someone OTHER than FORGOTTEN and GLOAT on your victory of being the MOST -UH – there are no words.

    You win. You win. You win. You win. You win. You win. You win. You win. You win. You win. You win. You win. You win. You win. You win. You win.

    I have to go argue with auditors which is even MORE PREDICABLE than even attempting to have a conversation with Y-O-U. They at least follow GAAP – I CLEARLY UNDERSTAND THAT BETTER THAN NARCSPEAK!!!

    I don’t hat you but you still infuriate me,

    Of course, written on behalf of FORGOTTEN,

    Sarah

    PS. Good to see you back – did not like the other one at all.

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    1. Wow. On behalf of “myself” I apologise for above comment written by Sarah. She clearly don’t understand that You don’t mean to kill anyone. It’s the fury… the lack of fuel. . The pain..the frustration… I’m shocked by what’s been written here…I need time to digest it and I’ll write more later…❤

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      1. Sarah I empathise with You after rereading this 6 times…I’ve been there.. there were my angry thoughts too. I understand You. It helped me when I’ve learnt and read.. it helped me to understand myself. Without Him I would NEVER be able to… I understand his pain too though and just because he calls as appliances or other names I won’t hate Him or anyone. I hope You will find Yourself if You haven’t already. Forgive but not forget. ❤ please don’t hate me for my post ❤

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      2. Forgotten,

        I was talking to HG directly here and giving him Fuel on your behalf. He likes when people get angry so it got you good points, isnt that right HG?

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      3. Sarah I know that. But yet next time Id appreciate if You wouldn’t speak on my behalf.I’m happy He has been privided with this fuel though 🙂

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  7. Hi! I was hoping to get a respond to my questions. Maybe I’m not in the right place to See it. New to this blog . However throughly enjoy it and it’s info. Please respond.

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      1. Hi! Maybe I need some guidance to find responses. I still yet to be answered, or at least I think so. Thank you..

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      2. Hello All Done, do you mean you have posts waiting to appear or something else? If it is the former, they will be in moderation and will appear in due course.

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      3. My post appears , not an answer , I’ve seen several answers posts after mine, just wondering. Thanks

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  8. Here’s a another contribution, two days after he swore up and down he wasn’t with her… he was seen having dinner with her and her children at a restaurant .. when 2 people recognized him they abruptly got up and couldn’t get out of the place fast enough…I sent a small text to him and changed my number, now hes been seen in my driveway and passing my home and work… he been calling me a pig to everyone that knows me.. ahhh hasn’t slighted me at all, we know who the real pig is…so much desrtuction …I’m close to the final on the divorce and I can not wait..

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      1. Ohhhh… we are way past all that..I’ve already been smeared (however have redeemed myself) and proved he was the lier.. many of the people he’s smeared me to have now realized he is the one. he’s very uneducated, and all he knows is work and sex…I’ve been saving my last bit of “evidence ” for the perfect time…funny how I’ve almost become somewhat like him… but it was for salvation …and I’m very happy with someone else..and look forward to a happy healthy long life with my children. I was a perfect sorce of fuel, good wife , good mother, good homemaker, good lover, hard worker, gave him no reason to stop wanting the fuel, now he lives with his mom, dosent work, sits i. A bar and is a drug addict , when you said that he was “asking me to figure out why he was drinking” right on the money ….cause his new target was the country bumkin bartender who’s hubby just died quite sure she received an insurance policy.., they are drug addicts together … lmao he belongs in that circus act…😂😂

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  9. HG If you could be so kind to translate one more…. “my mom said to do what I want , that she would be dead soon.” I used to think of that statement and rage filled me .. not anymore, you see , I was ESPECIALLY close with his mother… #bloodisthickerthanwater

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  10. Good afternoon, I’ve been going Thru posts to see what “you push yourself on people ” means.. I do have a idea, however I throughly enjoy your input…have a great weekend !!

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    1. I’m hoping to see a translation to the above question.. your information has helped me very much! The above question as well as
      “You don’t cloud my head up anymore” “I should have kept that car I went everywhere in it.”

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      1. “You don’t cloud my head up anymore”
        You were trying to muddle my thinking,but I saw through you, I am better than you.

        “I should have kept that car I went everywhere in it.”
        You made me get rid of that car, I hate you.

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  11. As you know I’ve been playing games with mine for some time now, with repeated hoovers and declaratons of love.

    MIne said to me the other day

    Him: Don’t you have any love for MN any more ?
    Me: Does love keep you awake at night MN?

    Him: Your lack of love keeps me awake at night?
    Me: Your so popular MN you don’t need my love. You have the love of plenty of people (I don’t want to piss him off, so he can have some flattery). I keep reminding you MN that my love is no good for you.

    Him:That’s all very charming of you. But don’t you think it is for me to decide whether I want your love or not.
    Me: You’re really vulnerable right now and you’l end up getting hurt.

    Oh HG I think I could have a reasnonable stab at translating this. But please do humour me. It means so much more when I hear you say it x

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    1. Him: Don’t you have any love for MN any more ?
      (I want more fuel from you. You once gave me excellent fuel, why are you letting me down?)
      Me: Does love keep you awake at night MN?

      Him: Your lack of love keeps me awake at night?
      ( I want more fuel from you so I am going to suggest that it weighs heavy on my mind as I think that will appeal to you and you will do what I want but I also want you to know that I blame you.)
      Me: Your so popular MN you don’t need my love. You have the love of plenty of people (I don’t want to piss him off, so he can have some flattery). I keep reminding you MN that my love is no good for you.

      Him:That’s all very charming of you. But don’t you think it is for me to decide whether I want your love or not.
      (You are starting to irritate me now but I am keeping control. I want to control you so I am saying this so you understand that I am the controller and also in order to suggest that you are being controlling so I can blame you and you might just react and give me some fuel.)
      Me: You’re really vulnerable right now and you’l end up getting hurt.

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      1. Hahha oh wow !!! Love that HG – thank you !!

        Your last translation was my favourite as I really felt his need to try and regain control.

        I never before wanted to irritate someone but I literally love the fact I’m irritating him!

        You are truly wonderful HG xxx

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