The Seven Sails of the FB Ghost Ship

 

the-seven-sails-of-the-fb-ghostship

Of all the various social media platforms that are available, Facebook remains a clear favourite with our kind. Its titanic status and near ubiquitous nature appeal as does the fact that it remains the demographic social media home of the majority of our victims. Facebook is used extensively but there is an occurrence whereby it appears that our once vibrant Facebook page has fallen into disuse. The profile picture never alters whereas it once changed several times a day to allow us to show off the latest snapshot of our brilliance. The timeline remains mournfully empty. There are not posts about our latest achievements and accomplishments. There is no sharing of the latest video we have uploaded or the link to YouTube for the same purpose. The only things that can be seen are the annual birthday well wishes from those reminded by the automated feature on the platform. There are never any replies to these salutations. There are postings from years ago but everything appears to be silent. Your friend request may have been accepted but nothing more has happened and now our profile drifts silently through cyberspace like some ghost ship. Why do we let this happen?

  1. Bring out the spyglass

Just because there is not anything happening on our profile it does not mean that there is nothing happening. We are using this profile to spy on you and others. We utilise it for the gathering of information prior to the seduction, we use it to keep an eye on what you are doing on your profile page during the devaluation and we utilise it to keep tabs on you in readiness for that hoover. Silent and looming we use the profile to watch you, waiting and calculating our next move. As you churn out the comments, posts and likes, we are watching, that small smile playing across our lips, forked tongue brushing those sharp teeth as we lie in wait.

  1. Triangulation

“Yes I am on Facebook, you can send me a friend request if you wish, but I never use it. I haven’t in years. I am too busy you see; I prefer to do my living in the real world. It is being with people that matters to me. I don’t need to herald what I achieve on an electronic platform, I let my actions in real life speak for themselves. That is what matter to me. I prefer to be face to face with people, seeing them hearing them speak and watching them.”

An earnest speech designed to impress you and con you into thinking that there is nothing to be wary about with regards to our Facebook profile. We triangulate you with a supposedly dead Facebook profile in order to cause you to admire us for being so “real”. Of the irony. All of it is tripe. Made-up for the purposes of making us sound good. Apart from the last sentence. That one is true though not for the reasons most people would expect. That personal interaction is required because that is where the best fuel is.

  1. Deterrent

You are less likely to block us if you think we never use our Facebook page which comes in useful for keeping an eye on you post discard for the purposes of organising a hoover. If we are unlikely to use our profile or even read it then you are dissuaded from posting anything there which might upset our carefully crafted façade. Why bother when nobody reads it? By conning you that this profile is never visited you will similarly keep away from it and thus we reduce your chances of interference and also those of your supporters. This means fewer people to tackle online when the smear campaign is rolled out.

  1. Ever Presence

If there was no Facebook page, then you could obviously never look at it could you? By keeping it and not blocking you, you will keep returning to it post escape and post discard because you cannot help but want to know what we are doing, whether we are saying anything about you. You may not be minded to post anything in accordance with the point above (you do not of course want us to know that you are sneaking these looks) but you will look nevertheless. You always do. You keep returning to it in the hope of some posting, some development and some news. This keeps you linked to us and keeps us in your mind as each day you conduct your obligatory tour of our social media platforms.

  1. Cover Story

The lack of activity on our Facebook profile allows us to maintain plausible deniability. How can be engaging in flirting online if we never go on Facebook? Look, nothing is happening. Here, check the messages. See there is nothing there and hasn’t been for months. I hate you being so controlling like this; why do you treat me this way? We use it to assume the moral high ground and provoke you into responding to our jibes.

  1. The Action is Elsewhere

You cannot seriously expect us to lose one of our main weapons in our game playing can you? Whilst our “real” profile may be dormant, the real action is taking place using a fake profile where we are gathering legions of prospective targets, engaging in flattery, flirtation and fabrication as we suck fuel from these individuals and look to identify potential targets for a closer approach to them. Do not think that the fact we use a fabricated profile will stand in our way to converting the seduction to a real-life interaction. We have a thousand lies to legitimately explain away why we did this and the intrigue will make you want us all the more.

  1. Resurrection

At some point we will crank the profile back into life and the proliferation of likes, postings and comments will begin again. We operate through contrast and this difference between dormancy and vibrancy will be used to our advantage and to your disadvantage. You can rest assured of that. We will suddenly engage with people and allow you to see it, but not engage with you, in order to continue our devaluation of you. We may spring into life and seduce you through the profile proclaiming that you are so special we wanted to tell the world all about you and use our Facebook profile (free from being cluttered with less worthy individuals) about it.

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13 thoughts on “The Seven Sails of the FB Ghost Ship”

  1. I cannot tell you how many disagreements we had over social media, just a different platform than Facebook. At times he would stop engaging for days and I, and everyone who loved him there, would ask for him. He’d return saying he was “working”(–a job he didn’t have). (More likely with another woman or just sitting back, watching everyone yearn for him.)

    Either he would interact with me constantly in public there for all to see, or he would not at all, ignoring public and private messages, to my dismay.

    My questions for you:

    1. He was generally obsessed with us interacting there publicly. Was it to keep an eye on me? Or triangulate with some unknown woman?

    2. If you’re trying to stay NC, does blocking help or do you remain staying away from that sphere altogether?

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    1. 1. He was parading you in order to triangulate you with another woman and also to draw admiring responses from others as well.

      2. Removing yourself from social media is the most effective tool, but not always something that is practical or something that an individual feels they want to do and therefore blocking and avoiding spying on the narc’s social media must be applied.

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  2. Somehow I sense all this is true. He did not unfriend me, which I’ve found quite interesting. But I’ve unfriended him the moment I’ve realized I’ve been fooled, so he can not triangulate me and hurt me any longer. Yes, sometimes I get curious how he is doing, who he is with, but being no longer FB friends means neither I have info about him, nor he has info about me. However, I was not blocked by him, which I find even more interesting.

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  3. What’s worse than seeing your exs Facebook is having his password and looking at the messages and girls he was talking to along with the girl he cheated on me with …… and or having sex with . That brings the word pain to a whole new level. What is even more strange is his brother would message him and ask how he was doing and try to make conversation and my ex had one word answers like a robot then his brother told him he loved him over messenger and my ex did not reply back . Any happy birthdays he received he did not like or comment back to . I also looked at his blocked list which held a lot of people including his dad that he recently blocked. There is definitely family tension and something isn’t right with his dad and him I never did figure out what that was .

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  4. I thought I posted something here but maybe it didn’t go through. If I’m implementing NC, do you recommend blocking on social media or remaining off altogether? He is extremely active on social media.

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      1. Thank you, HG. I will remain off for awhile. One last question: He was obsessed with interacting on this particular social media platform (not FB) publicly. Often I would praise his work; he would even praise mine. If we got in a spat and I blocked he would beg me to reinstate & return to normal. Why? Was he using me to triangulate? To this day, I’m still one of the few women he interacted with on this social media application. (Don’t worry, I know there were others, just not there.)

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      2. Hello Sail Away. Could other people see what you were saying about him on this particular application? If so, it was for fuel from you, fuel from them and triangulation as you have identified.

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  5. Haha FB was the only thing he could “crank to back into life” !!

    Nice little dig there for a Saturday morning . 🙂

    For anyone new here & wondering what I mean with my comment , it’s a well known fact that ex N couldn’t rise to the challenge . No siree… !
    He could bash it till his**** exploded **** & not even a twitch lol .

    Thanks HG . 🙂

    Inappropriate reply to a fascinating article but I couldn’t resist 🙂
    Enjoy your weekend . x

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  6. Hi again H G, I have mentioned before that I have not heard from my ex nut bar since he tried to hoover me last March. After reading this article I have to wonder if he has a fake FB account. After he attempted to hoover me he deactivated his FB account and has not been back on since. He has chin lady now and a friend of mine said he is not going to advertise her. Do you think most narcs have fake accounts? Also, do you think your kind show off the seriously less attractive primary source or are they embarrassed to some degree?

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    1. Yes the fake accounts are a useful tool for the gathering of intelligence and fuel. With regard to the less attractive primary source read Have You Seen Who He Is With?

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      1. Yes I have read that but he is certainly hiding his source. I think he is paranoid someone will tell her what and who he is. Plus the fact that he is gay.

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