Mr. Tudor, I truly admire your discipline and will power. We know what you are capable of, what you have and continue to do, molding and manipulating your targets’ minds like putty – turning their lives upside down inside out. Yet on this blog, you display the utmost control and decorum. How do you do it? And why? This forum could be a fuel frenzy for you. Yet you abstain.
Thank you Love. I have considerable control available to me. I regard the value which this blog and the interactions provide as something I wish to preserve rather than tarnish by turning it into a fuel frenzy. I also have the considerable benefit of doing as I please outside of this arena, which in turn means that I can exercise restraint and comply with the five rules here and ultimately reap the benefits of doing so. You might liken it somebody who is able to box in a ring to let out his aggression without the need to assault strangers, save my situation is reversed if you will.
And the goal of this is to provoke a response right? Good or bad. It makes you feel omnipotent over us vulnerable weaklings. In your world view. I still struggle with this because for the longest time that I would try to reason and be accommodating and fair in listening to their side, I view as one of my strengths in being loyal. You think you’re winning something over us and you’re winning at creating chaos and misery, yet feeling powerful. So many times these types of conversations would follow a nice time or pleasant exchange and clueless that i must have “wounded” in an instant the biting iciness would return.
Speaking personally, I felt some symptoms that are associated with BPD (though I am not diagnosed with BPD) when I was in the relationship with my ex who has undiagnosed NPD. This was my first tip off, actually. This is when I sought help and started researching more…I had a gut feeling at this point what was going on, though needed confirmation, as I doubted my instincts.
HG, are you still accepting scripts of personal accounts of how we discovered what was going on? This just kind of brought that back and I have more time this weekend to ponder this. Just curious or if you already have all the scripts you need. Either way, it will be therapeutic for me.
Which post is it that has where we send it? I feel like you write so prolifically that it may be miles back in the blog. Promise to keep my submission pithy 🙂
Yes, crazy making. It was too much for me too, snow. I had to leave or my mind would leave me.
It is hard to put myself in the shoes of someone that is would experience this as the goal, that this is a way to up the emotional turmoil to get more intense fuel. And that is the case. I am reminded of those kids that crave any attention, negative or positive, because true deep attention is not given to the child when young, anything is considered better than nothing to the child…it reminds me of this.
Thank goodness you left Indy. And your cat thanks you. Lol…
What’s bad is that I had NO idea that was all happening to me. I can’t imagine what I would be like now if I would have stayed. My PTSD is bad enough now.
HG just explained in another post about Anchors and the woman my ex married is that and I feel so bad for her. She will never leave her and her identity has been completely taken over. It makes me sooo sad. That could have been me too.
I see that in kids every day too. There is a little boy I had last year and I think about him constantly. He stands out having many narcissist traits. All so heartbreaking because I see the tragedy in both sides. They will take whatever attention they can get is precisely right Indy. ❤️🍎❤️
In what context Alexis? Do you mean for instance my behaviour as an adult towards an adult IP? If so, I do not think so. If you mean as an adult towards a child, then yes I believe it could result in that happening.
But you will agree that many victims of narcissist have PTSD if they do not escape soon enough.
I realized what my problem could be from, I didn’t wear my helmet when they used me as a test dummy.
Just that was too much for me!!! I don’t know how I dealt with all of it without breaking. Total confusion and chaos from all the rules changing minute by minute.
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*closes eyes and covers ears…*
Mr. Tudor, I truly admire your discipline and will power. We know what you are capable of, what you have and continue to do, molding and manipulating your targets’ minds like putty – turning their lives upside down inside out. Yet on this blog, you display the utmost control and decorum. How do you do it? And why? This forum could be a fuel frenzy for you. Yet you abstain.
Thank you Love. I have considerable control available to me. I regard the value which this blog and the interactions provide as something I wish to preserve rather than tarnish by turning it into a fuel frenzy. I also have the considerable benefit of doing as I please outside of this arena, which in turn means that I can exercise restraint and comply with the five rules here and ultimately reap the benefits of doing so. You might liken it somebody who is able to box in a ring to let out his aggression without the need to assault strangers, save my situation is reversed if you will.
Thank you. And to this day, do you remain the heavyweight champion?
But of course.
And the goal of this is to provoke a response right? Good or bad. It makes you feel omnipotent over us vulnerable weaklings. In your world view. I still struggle with this because for the longest time that I would try to reason and be accommodating and fair in listening to their side, I view as one of my strengths in being loyal. You think you’re winning something over us and you’re winning at creating chaos and misery, yet feeling powerful. So many times these types of conversations would follow a nice time or pleasant exchange and clueless that i must have “wounded” in an instant the biting iciness would return.
Correct Clarece.
HG can you clarify the differences between boarderline and narcissit please?
I am familar with one not the other
Look out for an article on this DFA.
Speaking personally, I felt some symptoms that are associated with BPD (though I am not diagnosed with BPD) when I was in the relationship with my ex who has undiagnosed NPD. This was my first tip off, actually. This is when I sought help and started researching more…I had a gut feeling at this point what was going on, though needed confirmation, as I doubted my instincts.
HG, are you still accepting scripts of personal accounts of how we discovered what was going on? This just kind of brought that back and I have more time this weekend to ponder this. Just curious or if you already have all the scripts you need. Either way, it will be therapeutic for me.
Hi Indy, I have a lot of submissions but I have not closed the window yet so feel free to submit yours, I will doubtless find it most interesting.
Which post is it that has where we send it? I feel like you write so prolifically that it may be miles back in the blog. Promise to keep my submission pithy 🙂
Do send it to awakened1909@gmail.com
Yes, crazy making. It was too much for me too, snow. I had to leave or my mind would leave me.
It is hard to put myself in the shoes of someone that is would experience this as the goal, that this is a way to up the emotional turmoil to get more intense fuel. And that is the case. I am reminded of those kids that crave any attention, negative or positive, because true deep attention is not given to the child when young, anything is considered better than nothing to the child…it reminds me of this.
Thank goodness you left Indy. And your cat thanks you. Lol…
What’s bad is that I had NO idea that was all happening to me. I can’t imagine what I would be like now if I would have stayed. My PTSD is bad enough now.
HG just explained in another post about Anchors and the woman my ex married is that and I feel so bad for her. She will never leave her and her identity has been completely taken over. It makes me sooo sad. That could have been me too.
I see that in kids every day too. There is a little boy I had last year and I think about him constantly. He stands out having many narcissist traits. All so heartbreaking because I see the tragedy in both sides. They will take whatever attention they can get is precisely right Indy. ❤️🍎❤️
HG do you think it’s possible for your behaviours to turn someone into a borderline ?
In what context Alexis? Do you mean for instance my behaviour as an adult towards an adult IP? If so, I do not think so. If you mean as an adult towards a child, then yes I believe it could result in that happening.
But you will agree that many victims of narcissist have PTSD if they do not escape soon enough.
I realized what my problem could be from, I didn’t wear my helmet when they used me as a test dummy.
Absolutely Ah Oh, it is a not uncommon outcome for victims of our kind.
Agreed Oh Ah. PTSD for sure.
NO
Powerful word, AH OH.
Just that was too much for me!!! I don’t know how I dealt with all of it without breaking. Total confusion and chaos from all the rules changing minute by minute.