The Narcissistic Truths No. 13



39 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths No. 13”

  1. A Lot of ppl havepain in the world, and more will, since deprivation and cruelty increase in abundance. Just think of the children in |Africa and the traficqued girls. Of course, they may not have the emotional sophistication and intelligence to realize that one day in Geneve ppl signed the rights of the children and these include protection from all kinds of abuse. But were saved, comparatively and randomly, surely. We could have been one of those children soldiers or prostitutes. It’ so hard not to think of one, but there s got to be a way not to whine so much and do something to practice empathy, even if its fake. The lack of empathy is abenefit that went awry. Anyway good luck to everyone in this journey to become whole before the end. No, I don’t like monsters. I was dark phobic as a child.

  2. That picture is how I see children now. The never ending need. Clutching and grabbing at me, but I have no idea how to quell them. My mother was consumed with the needs of her N ( my stepfather from age 5), so I stood in her place for the orher children. I provided necessities in their care ( feeding, clothing), but recall no real affection or emotion except that I must keep them safe and protect them. I made sure i would have no children of my own. I don’t regret it. Even now around children I see them as in that picture-wanting whatever is left of me. To consume me. I remember thinking at a very young age: you see what hes like. Stop having his babies you stupid cow! I hated him but I saw his power. It was hard to ignore. Thus the years of confusion to follow. I have some empathy but it is often interrupted by thoughts of: people can only treat you bad if you allow. I choose when I allow it.

    1. Children are innocent and are the only good thing in this planet, along with nature, wild nature. But I decided not to have them myself. I have taught first grade and it was the best time of my life, but I cant give a child an unfair childhood, as I was given.

  3. I see an overwhelming feeling of longing and the unmet human need of true connection. As children, our tender little nervous systems are programmed to receive empathic attunement and when not met with the eyes and ears of a healthy parent, our psyche is brilliant in its protection.

    Very few people seem to discover that it’s the thought of doing the work to free oneself, rather than the actual work, that is terrifying. As new neural pathways are forged while we attune to our own unmet needs and the rage and despair are allowed, we learn to live with our demons while acting from our Higher knowing. The esteem one experiences while finding such courage and bravery is the anecdote to shattering the false illusions of anything less than our greatness at simply being alive. Our broken parent was a victim too. Transcending enables forgiveness which becomes surprisingly easy once you see them through conscience eyes. Very few people were adequately loved as children. It is the human condition and perhaps our reason for being here is to discover that love is already within. Once that is, you discover you are completely OK without “the other”.

    1. Homo sapies is a piece of s…t. We certainly don’t love when we send our own flesh to be killed in foreign lands, after all the drama of the delivery, etc. Narcissism will be necessary, as long as we continue creating suffering for the sake of greed. It is a phenomenon which probably has paleo origins. I cant wait until the earth is free of us and starts recovery, by us I mean ppl. I am going to read your beginning. But remember that we have only one illness, lack of love. From there our brains starting having to save us and created symptoms that we call illnesses. It’s just atteps to regulate ourselves, but it may not happen before you die. But I want to know what happened to my mom that turned into a narc. I want to love her for her lack in childhood, but she discarded me. Oh well.

  4. I remember before my relationship began with the ex-N, he said, “I see dead people”. We were just goofing around as friends do and I asked him if he really did. I told him I’d understand if so and that I wouldn’t judge. He just laughed and never said anything about it again. I know he never really saw dead people in the sense that we think about, but this pic is an illustration of what I believe he has seen in his life and still sees today at 54 years of age. It’s a picture of complete sorrow and emptiness to me.

  5. HG. I truly hope you heal. As you might be able to tell, this is haunting. Does this come up in your therapy sessions? How do the doctors address it?

  6. Like many others here, I hope you are able to recover from having your safety and original spirit stolen. Indeed, it was wrongfully taken, though not completely and not obliterated. Yes, you survived and found a highly effective coping mechanism, a tribute to the human capacity to survive, at the expense of certain things, as you well know. I’m glad you survived and now is the time to collect your rightful belongings and “come home” (your original spirit). Home exists in the heart, not a person or place and you can find this, I have faith. Not common, no. Not easy. And doable. I believe, if you wish it. Only then.

      1. Hi Jaded1, Thank you for your sweet words. I love it when you post in depth responses. It shows your deeper understanding and strong empathy. ❤️

  7. HG. Few things creep me out. This picture does. Did you see/feel this when you were little? Has it changed since? I just want to protect you from that, even though you will run away. Possibly more to come. I just want you to know these thoughts for now. Thank you for sharing what must be an uncomfortable share.

    1. When you look at this picture do you see the sense of despair, that sensation of feeling lost, the overwhelming desperation? That is how it was and I found a way to alleviate all of that. I found my way.

      1. I see all of those things HG! I went a different way then you however. But it seems we still end up lonely and lost!!! Xxx

      2. Oh yeah, the sense of feeling lost, overwhelming desperation. That’s how it is growing up with a mother who’s a Narcissistic Borderline Personality. You never know what will set her off/trigger her rage.

      3. My nurturing instincts come out when I hear such things Mr. Tudor. But I have to accept that no matter what I do, I can never alleviate the pain of your past… Just the same as you cannot, nor will you ever try to alleviate mine.

      4. I FELT all of that from this picture. I can finally put a face (shiver) to what happens in my thoughts of darkness, too. I could never do that before, so thank you.

        You found a way. This may make you angry but here goes anyway. It reminds me of The Green Mile when the one they call JC spews the ick out, particularly when he transferred it to the prison guard. It feels like you are cupping your mouth against ours and transferring these things. Probably not a good analogy but that’s what comes to mind. The scene from the movie Ghost kind of comes to mind as well, though for some reason I found that hokey.

        I hope you find another path, a true healing path…along with peace.

      5. It has to be excruciating for a child, as young as 8 and under to process understanding experiencing terror and panic (and pain) at the hands of one of your parents.
        It makes a powerless child comply with whatever is asked in order to survive. Therein lies what became encoded in the emotional side of your brain. It’s really a matter if you’re open, at this stage in your adulthood, now that you yourself protected little HG inside of you so young by shutting off “feeling”, if now, you choose for yourself to experience real intimacy and what paths that can open for you as a new positive experience.

        Truth, like love and sleep, resents
        Approaches that are too intense.
        W.H. Auden, poet

        I’m guessing the method of coping and surviving modified your young brain into accepting an existence with the conflicts your mother presented as completely normal. Your brain wants to return to what it knows after you’ve been in a relationship for awhile. Probably causes the boredom and restlessness to kick in.

      6. H.G. you made me laugh when you said ” When you look at this picture do you see the sense of despair, that sensation of feeling lost, the overwhelming desperation?”
        H.G. it is quite apparent that you are on the prowl and trying to reel more victims in with another one of your pity plays by shifting the blame to your childhood.
        With my extensive background and training in child psychology and working with delinquents, I have seen this evil side emerge from the moment your type are born. You are dark entities, constantly seeking attention, and needling and manipulating everyone you encounter. Most of your type are just born that way! Yes, some are certainly shaped for better or worse by childhood experiences. James Fallon is a classic example.
        This site just enables you to troll for empath victims on the site. Tell me are you serving time in prison or have you ever served time?

      7. Hello Rosemary, no I have never been incarcerated and I am not currently incarcerated. Stupid, guilty people and some stupid innocent people go to prison. I am neither stupid nor guilty, since there is always the presumption of innocence and there has been no proof to the contrary, thus this presumption is the golden thread which weaves through criminal justice systems around the world.

      8. Wow Rosemary. Im a bitch but I maintain that Im not mean. Did your childhood shape you to be rude and dismissive of things that you may study yet never fully understand?

  8. Today is very hot and beach weather and since the narcissist? sociopath? psychopath has been on a three day mission to devalue and destroy the victim, his frustration and threats are becoming laughable. We have everything in the past three days of his mania that if were not delivered so seriously and with such vengeance could feature in a comedy!

    Without going into much detail, this mornings into this afternoons threats have come from left, right and midfield. His matey mate (not that matey mate ever invites him around) has a new job in the hospital removing body parts, yes body parts and even heads included according to the ? narcissist or whatever he is. Wow, like I really believe that a hospital provides employment for eight hours per day @ five days per week for an employee to remove the parts of people of what he believes to be true, does. Furthermore let’s be realistic here: Preservation of life is key to medicine although yeah, there are exceptions. Preservation of limbs or those extremities dependent on for activities of daily living surely are not expended so thoughtlessly. When calculating the hours x days that is a hell of a lot of body parts and enough to warrant further investigation or a royal commission! Wow, as for removal of heads in theatre I guess Mr.? was stumped (lol) when I quickly replied with a quirky: What kind of surgery involves removal of someone’s head! Oh dear the lack of self-awareness is chronic around here, I mean can you imagine all of these heads being discarded in yellow plastic bags for removal as realistic? I sure as hell don’t think so!

    Unleashed fury came at me like a nail gun fully loaded for my apparent stupidity, lack of intelligence and to verify the claims I was told in such profanity how if I don’t believe him, then his mate can prove it! I politely said, “Well he is a bigger bulls**t artist than you!” He is not about to let this one drop so has turned purple with inner rage, spilled it out including removing the television where he broke the aerial (lol) as punishment is the call of the day for my stupidity! I am not to eat anything, then further to back up his fury and deliver more punishment he has announced that his matey mate will give him what he needs from the body parts and that I best be careful if I eat anything in the house because I won’t know what is being placed or ground up into my food (lmao).

    He has stuffed himself over again, as I have recorded his outbursts and will make a note of calling environmental services dept of the hospital to inform of the way that body parts are being used and offered around according to him and I dare say that there are many limitations as to what can be disposed of and unless there is an underground belly of black market frankensteinian body services operating I fear he has completely lost his head (oops, lol). I told him his story will make heads roll (lol) and oh boy looks like I am in the bad books for the rest of the weekend!

  9. “Thanks for the crumbs from your table, Mrs. Dives.”
    Margaret Mitchell, GWTW

    “Never love anyone who treats you as ordinary.”
    Oscar Wilde

    Now that we know…we can make it all so much better ♡

      1. If it was there before it can be brought back . What age do you believe it became a fog?

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