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19 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truth No. 16”
HG, since being discarded 8 months ago, I’m in a much better place and extremely thankful I haven’t been hoovered. I know you say it will happen if the conditions are right, but is it also possible that he just moved on and will never come back. I guess the only thing that bothers me the most now is feeling like I’m always looking over my shoulder and wondering about the “what ifs”. I just want to move on, but can’t seem to get past this part.
it is entirely understandable that after 8 months you will still have the ‘what ifs’ going through your mind, they take time to eradicate. Read Exorcism if you have not already done so. He has moved on to another source and will only return if there is a Hoover Trigger and the Hoover Execution Criteria are met. minimise the risk of the trigger and raise the bar on the HEC and the prospect of being hovered will be vastly reduced.
Thank you! I have read Exorcism and it was valuable information to read. As I said, this is the one part that seems to be my biggest struggle. There are no Hoover triggers; however, I do concern myself with the 6th sphere, which is out of my control. As far as the HEC is concerned, I can be easily located, however I am also very F.R.E.E. With that said, the ex-Narc is a Cerebral/Elite (not quite sure which one yet), Ping Pong, Greater and I just don’t trust what he’s capable of anymore, but not in a harmful way. In the last couple of weeks, I’ve experienced a really strong gut feeling twice (at home) that tells me he’s lurking around, but I’m not sure if I’m just being paranoid or if it’s the same gut feeling that tried to warn me of danger when I was entrapped by him in the first place.
Would you say the entire narc relationship with you is you being placed on a mat then having it ripped out from underneath repeatedly? Is that the extent of what you feel?
Also, what can you tell us about merging identities? I think this is the mot damaging thing and what I’m battling now.
The combining of traits. It is why I am absolutely f**** and dependent on them. Over time, most I don’t care later on, but one or two I still feel I want them here to be able to function as I did. His fearlessness, my creativity. Etc.
Could you expand more on what you mean by the combining of traits Violet?
Creative. I will never do that for you..or anyone. No apologies.
Let me just put that fuel out…..
She has some interesting self-photos. Talented.
What if you only give them positive fuel and ignore them when they pull the silent treatment? Or am I supposed to chase him, begging and pleading?
I guess I’m not that much fun, because I will never chase after a man, regardless of how badly I want him.
If you ignore us when you receive a silent treatment nothing will happen immediately as we will be gaining Thought Fuel from your perceived response to the silence. This evaporates over a short period of time and if we do not observe attempts by you to contact us and thus give us fuel we will either focus on a different source – silent treatments of length are usually used to seduce somebody else – or we will return to you with a different form of manipulation to get the fuel from you.
Fuel can either come as PROXIMATE fuel where we witness your reaction – in person is best, then say through skype, the phone, then a voicemessage, then a text, or as THOUGHT fuel where we do not witness your reaction but we know how you are likely to react to what we have done and that provides us with fuel. That is why we lob hand grenades from afar because we know you and therefore think about your response to our act – be it a good or bad response – and this gives us thought fuel.
Makes perfect sense. This explains why a few days before going silent, he really lays it on. More impact.
Mr. Tudor, do you prefer blondes?
Well I am a gentleman.
Actually, I prefer whatever your hair colour is Love.
Really!? I’m honored! I can change it to whatever color you prefer.
I think Azure for tonight.