Hush

hush

 

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91 thoughts on “Hush”

  1. Oh my goodness! I loved reading this in your book. Now hearing your voice intensifies it so much more! I shouldn’t have done so while at work, now I’m flushed and very distracted.
    Can I book a Skype session with you where you test out my pain tolerance?

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    1. Love, you cheeky thing you.

      Is it “pain” tolerance you want to test or “pleasure” tolerance.
      Keeping in mind one often begets the other.
      At least for me it does.

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      1. Hi B_E. I was worried I was about to get another spanking from you for foolishly playing with fire. I’m still sore from the last one. I just don’t learn πŸ˜‰

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  2. I haven’t even read your post, this is just to say thank you.
    A couple of months ago you gave me the best advice ever, but maybe you are not aware of it.
    I don’t really know who you are, but I want you to know that you really helped me a lot, but that means nothing for someone like you, does it?
    πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

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    1. Hello Marga, thank you for letting me know and actually I do appreciate you telling me this as it provides me with fuel, a low amount admittedly but fuel all the same.

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  3. This would be more effective for me if someone I knew sent this to me in private.
    I am sure the fans will be going crazy about now.

    This would be my empath side I suppose, to want something like this private. Eureka! The intimate lustful empath! This is what I am! I am going to tell the world! Better yet, I will show the world! Again!

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    1. I agree. He’s building his fan base for when his life coaching tutorials and audio books come out…
      Swooners will be hitting click & buy faster than he can put them out!!

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  4. oh dear G! I knew one day my favourite post will be spoken by You πŸ™‚ I have a huge huge smile on my face now ❀ thank You!!!

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  5. I could listen to you read all day, and now off to work with so many thoughts and distractions.
    I do wonder ……

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      1. The smallest perfect number (a positive integer that is equal to the sum of its proper divisors) is 6.

        No wonder you have so many of them in your telephone number, HG.

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  6. Gosh, it could be so different if you just let go of these games… as to her, she should have risen and left.

    Wonderful voice! How about reading ‘Prayer of Saint Francis’ to us… softly, softly, with warmth and sincerity. We could do with an earnest prayer now… πŸ™‚

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  7. I’m a bit confused as to how to undo the damage that has been done. I am hypervigilant, isolated, self-doubting, world-loathing, and I avoid a lot. I avoid things that will bring attention to me which used to be my work. I am not as physically strong because being active brings the release of the chemical bonds that bind me to the narcissist.
    They managed to associate in my memories with every happy, sad and important thing.
    Most of all I am angry at being violated and devalued to the extent they went to and what I have been denied.

    If I had a support network it might be better but I have seen 6 psychologists who were all narcissists. You don’t get anywhere spilling and then during the session become aware you’re being gaslit or put down.

    I know the difference between a normal person and them, but I’m struggling because of the “ever-presence” which wasn’t just a romantic relationship but several of them, my entire upbringing, school, university, career and hobbies. Whenever I work up the courage to go and try something there they are again. NOBODY should be using the Meet Up website. They love that.

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    1. Hi Violet,
      I know you are hesitant to see another therapist, understandably. Not all of us are narcissistic, though. I would recommend, from my personal experience having gone through this too and as a therapist to find a therapist that does trauma work. This may include someone that does DBT, EMDR, or other trauma informed therapies. I can send you a resource on how to locate one if you would like? Insurance is the hard part, I had a hard time finding s good therapist on my insurance too, and I’m a therapist. How crazy is that?
      Anyway, one way to reduce your symptoms of trauma is therapy. Another is support from those that have gone through it, like here. Domestic abuse centers often have therapists and groups that know about this abuse too, and sometimes it is free. I hope this is a helpful start. Let me know if you would like links to sites that can help you locate help.

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  8. I had plans today.

    Then I heard that.
    Now my plans are to put my headphones on and listen to this on repeat.
    All. Day. Long.

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  9. Brotherrrrrrr…………people fall for that. I enjoyed the first few minutes but then I was laying there thinking nice voice and go ahead think what you need to, but when are you going to stop the crazy train and get ME off? Yawn.

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      1. Haha Ah Oh- is that what you call yours? And only 80% ? Your lovers have either been lazy or ahem… huge. Some are all talk……

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      2. And one of the Brits was a woman. Cathy was her name. Wanted me to move to the UK and raise my children with her. I have pictures of her still. Even me as a Pillow Queen, she wanted to keep me.

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      3. NA It is a fact that a woman’s sexual arousal is between her ears. But then again some do not have brains.
        I have had them all, good, bad and everythig in between. I have had a unique life and exposed to many men from all over the world. I even have a notch or two with the British flag.
        In the words of the late great Frank Zappa “when my minds tore up then my body don’t care”.
        It always has started with my brain. Perhaps this is due to the calculating and planning my attack.

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      4. Okay AH OH, I hear what youre saying but i still want 100% of him in my “other” brain. Or alternately, 80% there and 20% of my “other” brain between HIS ears. Cant stop laughing- too funny here today. Wheres DC? Shes missing all this. Thanks for the laugh AH OH. Needed that today.

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      1. Is this good for you or good for us? Can you imagine? You are doing a book signing and what will show up. I think there will be many broken pieces there. I would enlist B_E to stand guard. She could pull from the other Narcs on the blog to hold back the very obsessed fans. You know the ones, they want to claw your eyes out and bite the jugular to bleed you out.
        I am just kidding. I don’t want blood in my mouth, and I just want the book signed. πŸ˜‰

        Ahhhh sweet fuel, so heavy in the air I can smell it.

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      2. It would be my pleasure to keep those who seek to harm HG at bay and trust I would not need any assistance from anyone here or elsewhere to do it. You cannot stop what you cannot see.

        I am thirsty, but it is not cream I desire.

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      3. B_E, serious question: under what criterion do you put yourself 2nd to or defer to HG? Im referring to you saying in a previous post that you may not be as great as HG but you were not much different. Also here that you would guard him from harm. HG has said previous that he feels no responsibilty to protect his brethren. Do you acknowledge a hierarchy amongst even greaters and elite alike? Id like to hear HGS take on this also.

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      4. NarcAngel, I never said I put myself second to anyone.

        Of course there is a hierarchy. There always is.

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      5. Ok I wondered what would prompt you to say “not as great as HG” thats all. I got my answer with your reply. Thank you.

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  10. ***pointing to the blood trails and claw marks****
    ****puts cup up to door to listen****
    Hey, a girl has to have some fun, though I am hanging out with BE out here. Would you like a cocktail, B.E.? Bloody Mary? (I actually love a good bloody Mary). No, that was not a pun, either!

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  11. I listened to this right before I went to bed last night and it was soothing.

    How many people are in the inner sanctum today?
    Hi BE, what are you thirsty for?

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  12. I want to understand what the narc’s fascination is with blood and gore.
    I love the Walking Dead and all Tarantino movies. But all that ‘horror’ can be quite messy. I like any area around me spotless, free of blood, tissue, and damaged furniture. In the movie, American Psycho, Bateman is immaculate. He wears the finest clothes and always is well groomed. Yet he kills in such a messy way. Is it necessary to get so dirty? Must your tooth and claw always be dripping red?

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    1. Not at all. Bear in mind that most of our “killing” is of the soul, the self-esteem, the emotional well-being and dignity of our victims. Of course, that is harder (although not impossible) to portray in a cinematic sense and thus this is why blood and gore prevails when associated with our kind. As BE has eloquently stated previously, few of our kind are actually killers and as I have explained we prefer for you to be alive. A dead appliance is not a good appliance.

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    2. That is the point.

      Our horror is messy. It may not be blood and guts kind of horror, but it is horror and it is messy just the same.

      For the record, Patrick Bateman can chase me with a chainsaw any day.

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      1. Hey B_E. I haven’t seen you for a few days and missed ya.
        Yes, you all are messy messy messy.
        Can’t let you near my pristine white furniture and rugs.

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      2. Your furniture would be safe as I would never leave any physical evidence behind.

        I am far too smart for that.

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  13. B_E was making me want to mirror her “just nothin but me & the headphones kind of a day” …it felt like a good day for the “Headstones” to me Now thanks to Ah Oh, DC and HG…
    FZ and the Mothers of inventions “Dirty love” has taken over and must be played now first… lol…you guy’s crack me up. HG, my spouse always referred to his music room as his inner sanctum. πŸ˜‰

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  14. all the creepy comments sound like some of you are hitting on Mr. Tudor, some of us are here to try and make sense out of this new information and pick up the pieces of a shattered 10 year LIE!!! if you dont mind keep your tacky singles bar comments in private messages or something, funny though, your falling for it….as hes explaining it??? wow

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    1. Denise, why does it bother you? I ask because others have made similar comments and I do not understand how ‘flirting’ with Mr. Tudor negatively impacts you. Mr. Tudor writes about some very serious topics on this forum. It is ok to have levity. I’m sorry about your 10 year experience. We all are in different phases of recovery. Take what benefits for you.
      Live and let live.

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    2. Hello denise (with a small “d”)…humm…she says to herself as she ratta tap taps her nails on the desk…as if that’s not telling us all something right of the hop about your self esteem love as well as the angry suffer no fools gladly tone of your comment. It’s understood. we were all there too once. Our anger though has not disappeared but has been learned to be channeled more “effectively” to coin a phrase.
      All of us other “We” were and are all here trying to as you say “make sense out of the information and pick up the pieces of a shattered life (perhaps the narcissists here not so much…a bit different agenda but similar).
      10 years…yes…a long time by some standards…the last poster above you, was me. 28 married and 5 separated. I feel your pain…times 3 and then some. Everyone here seems to be a mix between 5 minutes with a narc being enough for life…and then there is me.
      I could be seen by some as the “odd woman out”.
      We are all different but similar. There are many ways provided to you here by HG that will allow you to learn the info you need and that will help you make sense of it all over time. The articles and books and audio recordings and possibly personal emails or private consultations will teach you what you need to know, the comments of the posters though are also another very valuable tool as you are finding out as it was motivating enough on which ever level it was for you enough so that it did to get you to speak up and reach out.
      You haven’t read enough or got to the place I like to call “that place ” yet. Now…”if you don’t mind” Keep reading. And yes we are all very much aware here that some of the comments here could be considered tacky…but so is yours…and its all in the “name” (as I said in my first line) and in the “game” of learning.
      Best regards <3

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  15. harsh destiny
    free from the narc? Maybe..
    but not free from the seducing need of its mystery
    its excitement
    its deep earning
    its fulfillment of the unknown
    its untold veil
    its teasing quest
    its unquenched power
    its unrested soul
    ……
    …….
    ……
    ……
    even its darkest side…

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  16. Listening to Hush has just made me think of a conveyorbelt, with line upon line of those flower toys that dance when you clap near to them. Us empaths are the flowers, and the narc is the clapper (which makes so much sense because they probably have the clap from so many different sexual partners ha)…

    So, if he claps and you dance, he’s amused by it and gets fuel. Only we can control whether we dance or not. If we choose not to dance when he claps, we are seen as broken toys and his interest fades. This is the way to stop him from keep coming back – because in our empathic worlds, we are beautiful dancing flowers ONLY to the ones who deserve us πŸ™‚

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  17. HG, Your voice is velvet seduction. I had heard that You had “groupies” and fans. I do see why. Dirty little evil empath that i am…I do believe that i am now numbered among them. I am a natural submissive and i enjoy being objectified. Thanks to You i am learning so much about myself and why i choose narcissists.

    The tiny weaponized empath peaks out from behind the hulking dark shadow that is HG Tudor…

    i am ready to play… My Liege.

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    1. *Eyeroll* “low-hanging fruit” indeed . . There is a world of difference between domination and abuse – in fact, they are opposites. You – and many other ridiculous commenters on here – don’t seem to be able to recognize the difference, even after reading all of HG’s illuminating posts . . So either you are braindead or else lack the slightest modicum of self respect. In any case, you don’t need a narcissisit to make a fool of you, as you already do that perfectly well all on your own. It’s pathetic.

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