Time and the Narcissist – Part Two

 

time-and-the-narcissist-part-two

 

 

The Somatic Narcissist
The Somatic Narcissist is one of our kind who places the greatest stock in physical appearances. This is applicable to the narcissist in terms of being handsome or beautiful with an impressive and pleasing physique, well-dressed, hygienic and alluring using all the benefits of cosmetics and cosmetic surgery available. It also applies to the Somatic’s victims in terms of ensuring that they possess the relevant traits which the Somatic finds appealing, so that they too are physically attractive, well-groomed and such like. Furthermore, the Somatic’s peacocking extends to not just what he or she looks like and that their victim looks like, but also material trappings in terms of income, possessions, size of house and similar. Everything about the Somatic should look fantastic and everything around the Somatic should also look fantastic, just not as fantastic as him or her as clearly it would not be acceptable for the Somatic Narcissist to be outshone by his victim. Accordingly, how would the advancing of age affect this particular cadre, when considered also with reference to the three schools of narcissism? There is much information which can be relayed regarding the effects of aging on the somatic cadre and therefore this will need to be broken down according to each school of narcissism and then subdivided further. This article will address the effects of aging on the Lesser Somatic and first of all with reference to the lowest ranking of the lowest school, the Lower Lesser.
The Lower Lesser Somatic Narcissist – LLSN –
. This individual places great stock in wanting to look good but suffers from the delusion that he is better looking than he actually is. One would not describe him as ugly, he will indeed have a degree of handsomeness about himself but in his mind, he is devilishly handsome. His physique may be decent, but he sees it as extra-special and more ripped and buffed than he really happens to be. Everything about the Lower Lesser Somatic is such that whilst he has some physical attractiveness and would never be described as off-putting in that regard, his regard for his attractiveness in the way that he looks, the way he dresses and his lifestyle is such that he thinks he is irresistible.
Accordingly, when the onset of age arrives and the reasonable physique is lost, weight is gained, the muscle definition vanishes and he does not suit the clothes he insists still on wearing, he does not see this. In his mind, he remains the ravishing prospect he was in his 20s and even then, it was exaggerated. He does not see, in the same way that he does not see that he is a narcissist, he also does not see any deterioration in his looks and physical appeal.
The LLSN will still seek to gather fuel from sources based on his deluded physical attractiveness. He will continue to engage in the infidelity for which Somatics are renowned and regards those who have the somatic traits which he desires as fair game still, viable targets and ripe for the plucking. Accordingly, the primary source of the aging LLSN can expect to experience infidelity during devaluation but also scathing comments about the physical appearance of that primary source if he or she is advanced in age as well. The LLSN does not see his own receding hair line, but considers that his hair still suits him and that whilst the locks may not be leonine in nature, they are still attractive, but he will identify a grey hair on the head of a primary source at ten paces and make disparaging comments about the same. The primary source can expect to have their own physical appearance commented on, thus a sagging bottom will be derided, a weight gain will result in name-calling and dressing in a style appropriate with increasing age will be described as boring and frumpish, even though the LLSN will not see his own appearance as diminished.
This will cause the LLSN to pursue younger targets who are far more attractive and quite frankly out of his league. He will not have even the fallbacks of charm and/or economic power which might cause his targets to overlook his balding pate, missing teeth and paunch. Instead he will become a figure of derision as he insists in frequenting those hunting grounds which once worked so well for him a decade or two ago, but have changed beyond his limited powers.
Should anyone rebuff his attempts to seduce, he will react badly. His fury will be ignited and he will lash out at those who had scoffed at his ham-fisted attempts to ensnare them. He will respond with savage comments about the looks of the recipient of his attention, oblivious to how he is no position to cast stones around. He will hurl drinks over people, smash furniture and with his low control threshold he will engage in physical attacks as well.
This deluded behaviour coupled with the anti-social element of this ignited fury will result in him soon gaining a reputation in his locality, become derided as a figure of scorn and considered as a loser of a barfly. His anger will be taken out on those who reject him and his suffering primary source who, unaware of what he is and of advanced age also, will be unable and/or unwilling to escape him. They will suffer the brunt of his ignited fury as he returns from an evening out wounded by the scathing comments.
The volatile nature of the LLSN means that he will rarely struggle for fuel because he will either
1. Draw it from the negative reactions of those who reject him when he interacts with tertiary and secondary sources;
2. Draw it from the positive and/or negative responses of the long-suffering primary source;
3. Draw it from the positive and/or negative responses of an intimate partner secondary source.
The LLSN’s ability to remain effective in drawing fuel means that he will maintain sufficient energy to keep angling for an affair, a hook-up and a one night stand. He will be repeatedly rejected but in true playing the percentage style, he will eventually find someone who is taken in by his approach and thus he will acquire this intimate partner as a secondary source until he unleashes his fury against her and she loses interest.
The LLSN, in common with the school of being a Lesser, only has a small group of family and friends as secondary sources to begin with. He will rely on these individuals to provide intermittent fuel in the reducing interactions that occur, but he will look to the primary source and other secondary and tertiary sources that he meets out and about for his fuel provision. So long as he has mobility, he will continue to frequent the hunting grounds of his prime, even if he strikes a somewhat incongruous figure because of age, dress sense and music choice. He lacks the awareness to seek out his victims in a more age-appropriate hunting ground and therefore would believe he belongs in the mosh pit rather than at a tea dance.
The LLSN whilst relying on physicality to drive his seduction, does not polish and maintain that physicality like a higher school Somatic. Accordingly, the use of drink, tobacco, drugs – both street and prescription – which are all seen as part of the flash and fast lifestyle which he believes is his by right, will be continued and will begin to take their toll. Unless blessed with a particularly strong constitution, there is a risk that the LLSN will not reach the most advanced years and instead will succumb to the relevant fatal illnesses which are linked to such lifestyle choices.
The LLSN is likely to be found taking his last breaths, drunk, in a rain-soaked alleyway as his heart finally gives up under the strain of the demands he has made on it, with the dimming sound of yesteryear’s hits providing the final soundtrack to his last moments alive.
The Middle Lesser Somatic Narcissist – MLSN
The MLSN suffers from the same delusional outlook as the LLSN and therefore much of his behaviour and outcome will be similar to that described above. The slight difference is that the MLSN will have a little more charm, although not masses of it by any standard and will have a slightly improved economic situation so that when he is trawling the bars and fleshpots in order to seduce those tertiary and secondary sources he may have slightly more success in ensnaring somebody.
Whereas the LLSN cuts a rather isolated figure which lurches from venue to venue seeking a fix of fuel from potential targets, the MLSN as he ages is more likely to create a gang of hangers-on and cronies who will supply fuel and reinforce, in order to secure a free beer or a lift somewhere, the MLSN’s deluded view that he is still gorgeous and attractive. The MLSN will seek reassurance from this coterie as to his appeal and if it is not forthcoming, he will regard that as criticism and he will lash out at the coterie to draw negative fuel. Where the LLSN does this and becomes increasingly isolated by people who are fed up of being shouted at and hit, the MLSN has some ability to draw those coterie members back to him and continue the association.
Ultimately however the MLSN will behave like the LLSN and therefore will have a long-suffering primary source who he returns to repeatedly after engaging in sordid engagements with those he is able, after repeated attempts with different targets, to seduce. He will suffer the same ravages of his lifestyle, the same inability to control his fury when he is rejected and is unlikely to see particular old age as he succumbs to illness and disease as a consequence of his rampant promiscuity and unhealthy lifestyle choices. The main difference that the MLSN has over the LLSN is that he is able to attract people a little more readily owing to slightly higher charm levels and slight increased economic ability, but they are not significant improvements by any stretch of the imagination.
The Upper Lesser Somatic Narcissist – ULSN
The final subdivision of the lesser school is that of the Upper Lesser. How does he fare with the aging process when he is from the somatic cadre? Whereas the LLSN and MLSN are deluded as to the extent of their physical appeal, the ULSN is particularly physical attractive. He will have natural good looks, engages in a rudimentary regime of skin care and hygiene which is sufficient but far removed from that of the Greater Somatic and looks after his body. The female equivalent will attend gym classes, eat reasonably well and use cosmetics as far as she is able within the confines of a lower disposal income than the other schools of narcissism.
The ULSN has enjoyed much success through his or her life by relying on being physically attractive with a dash of pleasant charm to boot. They still possess the low fury control threshold but it is not as poor as that of the Lower Lesser, however when that fury is ignited the ULSN being in the best physical shape of the three subdivisions of Lesser Somatic Narcissists is the one more prone to causing damage and with an extended period of fury.
In terms of the effect of aging, the ULSN is not hampered by delusion but rather operates through the cynical exploitation of easily being able to attract people to him and rely on pure looks, sexual expertise and animal-magnetism as opposed to utilising economic power, intellect, witticisms and/or charm by the ladleful. When aging occurs to the ULSN he finds that his muscles begin to waste, his looks start to fade and the march of time really begins to take its toll. Also a devotee of the beer, cigs and drugs brigade so often the hallmark of Lesser behaviour, the ULSN was able to counter the effects of this when younger by reason of stamina, youth and racing metabolism. Not any longer. He actually suffers the worst swing in physical appearance of the Lessers. The LLSN and the MLSN were not ugly but they were never stunning and therefore there is only so far they can fall in terms of physical appeal. The ULSN has indeed further to fall as he gains weight, loses his hair, sees his athletic prowess much reduced, struggles for breath and so on.
Lacking the back-up of intellect, wit and charm which would be seen with an Elite and lacking the cognitive function of the Mid-Range and Greater, the ULSN is taken by surprise by his sudden reduction in attractiveness. He does not know what to do. He is not afforded the delusional capacity of his other Lesser Somatic bedfellows but rather he looks on in horror at the sagging skin, the watery eyes, the stiffness of movement. He is becoming the very thing he has never wanted to be; old.
He will suffer a crisis of confidence and this will result in him shunning those hunting grounds which he once prowled so easily. Instead, he will turn to his primary source and alternate between wanting reassurance that she or he is still attracted to him or her and lashing out because of his increasing frustration at his withering frame. His rancour will increase as he ages, causing those who might otherwise wish to fraternise with him to remain away. He does not become more distinguished with age nor does he retain that small amount of charm he once had as an Upper Lesser, instead it is swept away by his increasing bitterness and hatred. He will retreat into a shell, turning to pictures of his former beautiful self for a reminder of what was once but in seeking such affirmation he only increases his torture and will rail against the unfairness of it all, lashing out at his primary source.
The ULSN runs the risk of alienating the primary source and having retreated from other sources through increasing shame at his appearance – which is exacerbated by his reduced fuel levels – the ULSN really then does suffer a crisis of existence. He risks depression as he loses what he believed himself to be and without the trappings of wealth to cause a diversion as a higher schooled somatic may have, he finds himself lonely, suffering the ravages of his lifestyle choices, isolated and a bitter and irate figure. He cannot deal with the loss of his looks, the departure of his once excellent physique and has nothing else to turn to by way of compensation. He will struggle to attract fuel sources and will embark on ham-fisted and ultimately failed seduction of secondary sources, whereby he will not gain sufficient positive fuel from the engagement but rather will turn to lashing out against them and the primary source. In his quest to gain fuel from both primary and secondary, but having little or nothing to offer by way of seduction any more, he may find himself without either.
Whilst the LLSN and MLSN may shuffle off this mortal coil at a younger than anticipated age, they will do so still believing themselves to be attractive and irresistible and therefore their passing away will be somewhat cossetted by delusion. The ULSN will face the horrible and stark reality of the deleterious effects of aging, in terms of illness, disease and the loss of looks and will descend into an isolated, unhygienic, weakened state. Once the lifestyle has caught up with them and they collapse with diseased lungs labouring for breath, he will be thinking ‘I used to be gorgeous, what has happened?’ With his construct near collapse from the shortage of fuel, the reality will become even more harsh and it will be a terrifying and brutal end as he is overtaken by the effects of age, sooner than it ought to have been.
Part Three examines the effect of age on the Mid-Range Somatic.

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10 thoughts on “Time and the Narcissist – Part Two”

  1. Dear HG,
    I am looking forward to part 3 and part 4.
    As I am not sure, who or what I am (codependent, borderline or even narcissist myself), but definitely of the somatic family, I hope to learn from you as always.

    Yesterday was my 45th birthday and I am full of desperation and hatred, lashing out to anyone due to my ongoing loss of looks and struggling for any perspective in life in the years to come.
    Is there any fuel left ? I send you greetings and retreat back in my cave, crying….

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    1. Happy birthday Sisha! 🎂 I’m sure you are a hot young thing at 45! I hope you go out and celebrate your youth. Have a fun time and pick yourself up a nice new plaything. 🍭

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  2. I find these breakdowns very interesting. I still think my ex is part somatic. I have a couple questions but I will wait for the others to come out.

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  3. Brilliant HG!!! 100% accurate- They peddle themselves across the marble floors, a former shadow of who they once were. The arthritis has kicked in and one cringes as they approach. The watery eyes, swimming in fluid from many years of rich food and excess alcohol result in their once athletic frame being reduced to the give away’, thin legs, shapeless behind and a paunch even if small gives them away.

    Don’t get me wrong- it is their delusion about themselves that is the icky’ part. The fact they don’t target their own age group is embarrassing to observe especially with the knockbacks they get so obvious to their own age group and anyone observing and let’s face it we observe. Observation is not exclusive to narcissists, we all do it.

    There once plum in the mouth eloquence is like they have sucked the plum in backwards and was replaced with a lemon. Their breath if you happen to be the unfortunate being they have closed in on is of acetone or strong cider vinegar to be as polite as I can. My girlfriend’s eyes become as watery as I tell her, I have this when she mentions, ah oh here comes a couple from the fossil farm! With a few eye rolls as they proceed to get to know us, I wait for the same old, same old. Somewhere in the first few paragraphs they become lost as I speak a little French and keep placing my hands up, Parlez-vous français. Works a treat and as my girlfriends eyes water more than theirs in the humour of the moment holding herself back from erupting, off they go to hit on yet another! Language barrier works a treat at times! This sounds mean and very narcissistic and no I do not speak French, but as you say HG- I can if I must!

    On an empathic note: The guy that knows his age and has no issue with it, that reads a paper at a café during the morning may well be the same guy that hits up women at night at the yacht club. Ordinarily, the gentleman in the family park walking his pooch may be dressed for his age and appear to be under no illusion about his advancing years and quite comfortable walking the path beside the ocean. The guy whose mate fell down and dislocated his shoulder right across me, may need immediate assistance and arranging for security to call an ambulance is appropriate. However his mate, may have been watching from a distance for a long time before the fall and it just so happens he is gorgeous and dressed beautifully and that is how he gets to break the ice by thanking one for an act that most people would do given the circumstances. Dead ringer for Matthew McConaughy and wanting to acquire my number so his mates folks can thank me and let me know how he is doing after being ambulanced to A&E.

    So okay, Matthew I watched the movie Ghost’s of Girlfriends past and once you quickly elected how you were recently separated, it went nowhere so the ghosts we leave behind may have been quite genuine people but like you say HG, your kind are all around us and our kind must do all that we can to protect ourselves!

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  4. I’ve been listening to your videos for about a month. I am having trouble identifying my ex. Is he a lesser, is he an upper? Is he somatic, is he a cerebral.

    My ex was extremely handsome as a young man. He basically had very good genetics, but he didn’t know it because with a pretty face, his other proportions were not nearly as proportioned and he told me he was very insecure as a young adult. That did not matter much for him because his intellect is off the charts. He is definitely Mensa. And his charm is also outstanding. Everyone thinks he is the nicest and most charming person on earth. Any truth telling you say about him will be met with disbelief and scorn.

    As an aging man, he can look appealing, when he tries. But he doesn’t try often. He bathes regularly but can easily go a month without shaving which makes him somewhat grizzly in appearance. Of course he also doesn’t leave his house often because he is obsessed with work. (From my experience he spends most of his time sleeping, having sex, and binge eating and binge not eating.) He is fashion challenged and his dressing is unremarkable other than slightly immature. His style is graphic t-shirts, jeans, and maybe a blazer. He is over 40 years old and an artist. So it’s passable, but just barely. I think that has more to do with his strict religious upbringing than any sense of style. He knows when to wear a collared shirt and proper shoes.

    Income. Well he is entirely supported by his very large and extended family. While he has had some success in industry, it is never lasting. He once won a grammy as a composer. He once won many awards in jingle writing. With it, came a lot of money so I was told by him and others. He now does painting, in a half-ass cheating kind of way.He has some talent for it, but considering it’s the only thing he does, I’m not impressed. (He doesn’t even clean up after himself and his home seems like a garbage dump. While his personal grooming is clean in that he never smells and his clothes are clean, his environmental hygiene is scary.)

    Career. For the length of time that I have known him well, almost none of his “success” has been without the help of someone he was seducing or the help of a family member. So while he does earn some money, more now than just a few years ago, if he had to pay his own housing and food, he would not be able to survive. I figure he will leech off of his family until the day he dies.

    He uses his charms and intellect to ensnare woman more than his looks. He doesn’t seem to be super discriminating about looks. As long as they are average, he’s usually ok with it. He doesn’t care about weight. He won’t publically announce someone as his woman if she doesn’t have a reputation of having a high intellect. But he has no problem spending time with someone who is very sexual, but dumb as rocks. Once they women are ensnared, he is obsessed with using his women as an object in which to masterbate. His appetite is unrelenting and energy draining. A typical night with him would involve 4-5 sessions of fellatio, each 45 min long, without necessarily finishing. (Because when you watch that much porn and masterbate that often, and take so many prescription drugs, ED, is an issue.)

    So I really don’t know what category to put him into.

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  5. Just strolling through your blog with a glass of Chianti and I think now I was once ensnared by an Upper Lesser Somatic. The somatic qualities were obvious, but as for which level–about that I still wondered. However, I admit that I do look forward to knowing his looks will fade, his muscles will atrophy, and he will devolve into a limp sack of shit much resembling his once working dick, now gone obsolete.

    He didn’t have your wit, HG, but he liked to pretend that he did. I laugh at the Lesser. What a maroon.

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