Fuel Me Once


Fuel is the very thing that I must have. It is through fuel that I function and exist. I regard all emotional energy as sustenance. A lack of emotion causes me considerable concern and this will ultimately result in my detachment and me seeking the same from an alternative and more reliable source. There are those that suggest that I derive fuel from certain inanimate objects, for instance, status symbols. I drive an expensive car, wear the tailor-made suit and live in a large house and all of that apparently provides me with fuel. It is true that we covet these things as they accord with our sense of entitlement. They also enable us to demonstrate to the wider world our success and achievement. We crave such materialistic representations of success. However, my kind and I do not desire the Rolex watch, Ipad or diamond encrusted mobile telephone in themselves. We want those items because of the responses that they create in other people.

Those who see us drive by in a Bentley convertible invariably stand and stare open-mouthed. That reaction to our prestige provides us with the fuel we need. The admiring glances that we draw when we walk through the department at work in one of our excellent suits, provide us with fuel. The compliments we receive for the style of shoes, the holiday cottage we own and the extravagant party that he have laid on are all sources of fuel to us. Inanimate objects are the platforms for the provision of our fuel. Whilst some people will marvel at our choice of motor vehicle, there are others who will express jealousy and envy. Those reactions are most welcome as well. The cutting comments that accompany a green-eyed stare are lost on us. The words evaporate because it is the emotion that is bundled up inside those words and the baleful stare that we want.

Our fascination and reliance on the inanimate object and the part it plays in the provision of fuel does not end however with what you may regard as traditional inanimate objects. The most effective inanimate object which provides us with fuel is you. How can we regard a person as an inanimate object? In the same way that the words in a scathing comment dissipate as we seize on the emotion, the identity of those providing us with fuel, slips to one side as we savour the fuel that we can extract. Those of you who we seduce and draw into our world where we can draw deep on your fuel stand to be regarded as nothing more than an appliance. We see no person. We recognise no identity. We see a machine that has one purpose and one purpose alone. The provision of fuel for us.

21 thoughts on “Fuel Me Once

  1. Hilfingingers says:

    Ok..so like jack off to universe wind like Tesla and REATTACH INFANTILE..that easy. Alot of inefficiency to garner fuel addict bit bursts…geez..and should not your therapists be reporting your harms and positions…and crimes???…or are they narcs too?.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Do get back to me when you have mastered English. Thank you.

      1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        I’m confused what is this person trying to say?

  2. bloody_elemental says:

    Fuel me once, shame on you.
    Fuel me twice, shame on you.
    Fuel me three times, shame on you.

    And so on and so forth.

    1. 1jaded1 says:

      Hi BE. Everyone gets one bogie (how I hate that term). Even your kind makes mistakes even though you will never admit.

      The key is not repeating them…so agree with everything else after the first sentence.

      1. bloody_elemental says:

        Missssssstake……The word does not roll quite right off my tongue. In fact, I am not even sure I know how to pronounce it correctly, it is so foreign to me.


  3. 1jaded1 says:

    As I type this from my tiny apartment, which is probably smaller than several of the rooms in your house and as I prepare to drive myself to work in my sub compact car, I’m thinking about this one. I still don’t understand the importance of things. You can’t take them with you.

    Lotus might make my mouth hang open for a moment in awe of the beauty of the car…it did happen once…never envy.

    My tank is empty and was likely never full to begin with…or may contain fuel that will make the engine sputter. Just a heads up.

    1. 1jaded1 says:

      PS. I don’t remember one thing about the driver of the Lotus.

  4. DFA says:

    HG lily-livered sorry I laughed ( not in the funny way, more oh hell no) yet I am looking forward to Dark Cupid, comparisons to what I have observed over a lifetime.

  5. I was going to say trick me once but I won’t let you trick me twice

    But fuck it, too late for that Hahha

    Not a third time ???

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Not if you pay attention Alexis.

      1. Yes HG. And you know I do, I understand most of it and read people incredibly well now. So that is the worst part about it for me. I saw many red flags but still bloody ignored them. In part because I wanted to maybe? You know it’s bad for you but sometimes you just need it anyway !

        That makes it even worse. Lucky I have a good sense of humour !!

  6. Em says:

    HG do you always accertain fuel from mind games, pretending to innocently do or say something knowing you will get a reaction, then acting hurt or surprised when you get that strong reaction? Do you ever let you true colours show in the devaluation stage, i.e. Would you ever resort to name calling or saying nasty things, or do you allow your victim to be nasty and hurtful and then you bask in the glory of their insults while getting to ride the moral high ground? And if this is the way you usually act is this more charistic of a high level NPD person? And finally if someone had wounded you, how would you seek revenge? If hoovering someone was not possible are there other tactics you would use to seek revenge?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      1. Yes
      2. I engage in both.
      3. Such behaviour is evident in all schools of narcissist with varying degrees of sophistication – we can all play the victim.
      4. Revenge? How long have you got? I think the best answer is to wait for the publication of Dark Cupid and you will see what my kind of revenge looks like. That is not one for the lily-livered through.
      5. If a direct hoover was impossible, I would look to punish indirectly through lieutenants for example. If there was no way through, so to speak. revenge would be parked until later when the bar lowered on the hoover execution criteria.

      1. Em says:

        Thanks! Having trouble figuring out weather my boy was a mid ranger or a higher, or an upper level mid rangerπŸ™„ And the only reason I want to know is to know how vigilant I need to be in terms of his capability to seek revenge…. don’t fancy coming home from work one evening to find him lurking in my bushes 😳 But at least if I know that’s a possibility I can take precautions… it’s more common just to mind fuck with someon rather than try to physically harm them Im hoping, I mean if he decided he wanted to hurt me he’d have to wipe my memory because otherwise he’d lose his reputation and I’m sure his high paid job would suffer, mind games smearing etc let him do, anyone I care about knows me well enough not to be convinced anyone who is convinced probably doesn’t matter a whole lot to me anyway πŸ€”

      2. AH says:

        Scary πŸ™

    2. AH says:

      Great questions!!!

  7. Love says:

    Thank you for easing my worries. For a second, I thought I was one of you. I love the finer things in life. I get entranced by 24kt gold. Jewels make my heart flutter. I desire shiny inanimate objects. I’m happy you only obtain them to show them off. I obtain them because they make me happy.
    Mr. T was my fashion idol.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Here, have some tin foil Love. it is a sheet of purest silver, honestly.

      1. Love says:

        My dear Mr. Tudor, I am talented enough to tell the real from the fake a mile away… At least in regards to jewelry. Keep your tin foil and fetch me something from Cartier please. I do love how your kind is generous with the gifts. πŸ’Ž

  8. It’s amazing that the emotion it envokes in others is the motivation for purchases. I think all marketing makes people feel they will perceived a certain way with this or that and that they MUST have it.

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